Chapter 5 #2
I raked a hand through my hair, pacing back and forth across the oil-stained concrete.
“Jesus—fuck. I’m sorry.” There was no escape, no way to tear myself open and release myself from under Logan’s shadow.
“You need to let this go. Do you hear me?” I was begging her, but she needed to know what she was doing to me, what she was risking.
“Logan killed himself, Sades. End of story. I don’t know what he wanted to tell you, so just let it be. Move on.”
I didn’t even buy it myself. Not after seeing Logan’s scrawled confession. It was obvious now I couldn’t deny the change I’d seen in him in the last few months before his death. He became secretive, but I didn’t think he was suicidal. It was something else, something I couldn’t put my finger on.
“Don’t give me that,” she snapped. “You expect me to believe you don’t know a damn thing? You were his brother, Ro. He trusted you. And now you want me to walk away like none of it matters?”
“That’s exactly what I want you to do.” I didn’t want her anywhere near it.
That would mean reliving it all over again, and I wasn’t strong enough to reopen those wounds. Yet, Sadie was hellbent on picking at the raw skin.
The tin roof above us clicked as it heated in the sun, and the faint roar of engines drifted from the surrounding streets. But all I heard was the breath catching in her throat.
“I was so mad at him for not showing up to the formal,” she whispered, a single tear sliding down her flushed cheek. “I thought he’d stood me up, but this . . . this note . . .” Sadie’s voice, at breaking point, mingled with the sound of my blood rushing through my ears.
She wrapped her arms around her waist. More tears streaked her face, slicing right through the walls I’d built up to protect myself from her. The sight of her falling apart wasn’t something I could handle. Not when I was barely keeping myself together.
My fists clenched at my sides. I had to step back. If I didn’t, I’d fold. I’d pull her in and give her what she wanted—the truth.
“It’s not your fault, Sades. Logan did this to himself.” My words were harsh, but fuck, they were all I had. “You saw him, he was strung up from his ceiling fan. End of story.”
But it wasn’t the end of the story, not even close. And there was no way I was letting her get involved in whatever dark shit Logan had buried himself under. If she started poking around Hollow Creek or going anywhere near clubhouse archives . . . fuck.
Some things couldn’t be un-seen. Some people wouldn’t hesitate to make her disappear. And I knew exactly who those people were.
Sadie shook her head. “You keep saying that, but do you really believe there’s not more to it? I knew him better than anyone.” She took a breath, the pulse in her neck jumping, the same rhythm as my heart. “Maybe even better than you,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“Well, maybe that’s the issue.” The words came out before I could shut my mouth. Still, they kept coming. “Maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought.”
I knew I’d crossed a line, but I didn’t care.
If this was the only way to protect her, then I’d be the arsehole.
Maybe I was punishing her, too. For leaving me to drown in this mess alone.
Like a child, I was lashing out because that’s just what happened when I was around her—I turned into an idiot.
The look Sadie gave me hurt me more than any fist to the face could. More than the crack of bone, the splitting skin, and for a second, I thought the impact might just break me the fuck apart.
“Nice one, Rowan.” She sniffed, swiping at the tears tracking down her pink cheeks.
Each tear she shed felt like a scar I didn’t earn the right to wear.
They crumbled everything I’d tried to build up against her.
Turns out I’d built it on rot. Her hazel eyes locked onto mine with a force that threatened to knock me out of the fight. “You’re a real fucking arsehole.”
My jaw tensed. I didn’t flinch, but damn, I felt it. Every syllable hit like coming off my bike at a hundred k’s an hour.
Then she stormed across the parking lot, the heat simmering around her as she swung open the car door and climbed inside.
The slam of metal against metal echoed in the stillness.
The entire world had paused just to watch me bleed.
Even with my eyes closed, she was still there, like a burn mark I’d see every time I blinked.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. Sadie was right.
I was an arsehole. But I’d keep being the arsehole if it meant she was safe.
She was still my weakness, and it was killing me.
The one I couldn’t protect myself from, and despite that, all I wanted was to make sure nothing like this ever touched her life again.
But I was the one infecting it now. I was hurting her. Maybe that was what it would take to keep her away, and out of danger .
I had to let her hate me a while longer.
It was either that, or lose her for good.
I stalked back inside the clubhouse, and into the meeting room where Bear and Scout had already gathered. The air in the room was stale, the remnants of smoke and alcohol seeping through from the open bar room. I was ready to fight the first fucker who looked at me wrong.
The last thing I wanted to do was be there. I needed the open space, a long deserted road to chase away the anxiety and guilt building in my chest.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said, slumping into the seat opposite Bear and dragging a hand down my face as if that was enough to scrape off the previous twenty-four hours.
Someone’s boot thumped a nervous rhythm against the floor.
“I have more important shit to do.” Like drink myself into another stupor.
Bear’s gaze caught mine, and he scratched at his jaw, his fingers getting lost in his thick beard. “What was that all about?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.” It was all I could say, even if it was a lie.
Sadie had some nerve turning up there and throwing Logan’s words in my face. Still, maybe I’d gone too far. I should’ve gone after her. Yet, there I was, sulking like a child because it turned out, I hadn’t dealt with a damn thing.
“You sure about that?” Bear said, leaning back and crossing an ankle over a knee. “What’d the chief’s daughter have to say? ”
“Can we just leave it be?” It wasn’t the time or place to discuss the bomb Sadie just strapped to my back.
He held his hands up, sniffing, as Scout shoved a mug in my direction. No amount of coffee was going to fix this hangover. Or the fact Sadie fucking Cooper was hellbent on destroying me for good.
That was a special kind of hell. It went from simmering to full boil and back again in two seconds flat. And every single fucking word between me and her lingered in my head like a funeral bell. I knew I’d crossed a line, but fuck it—she’d crossed hers, too.
The scent of her still clung to the back of my throat, like a sweet poison killing me slowly.
Scout nudged the mug closer with the back of his hand, his blue eyes wide with the innocence that somehow still clung to him. “It’ll be okay, VP.” Always the optimist.
Doubt he’d say that if he knew what was really going on. He was one of the biggest in the room, all lean muscle. But when it came to the hard stuff, he was still green. Some would even say he was one of the prettiest too—mostly women.
I shot him a look and pulled the mug to my lips. The caffeine barely burned away any of the fogginess inside my head.
Bear cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the scratched-up table as he simultaneously tapped a rhythm on the timber leg with his boot like a one-man fucking band.
“Well, before you bite my head off again, three of our bikes got torched last night.” My eyebrows shot up.
That got my attention. “Down near the old mill. Stripped first.”
That old tension knotted up in my chest. At least that was something I could focus on.
I ran a hand through my hair, shaking loose the thoughts of Sadie. “Any idea who? ”
The overhead fan creaked as a few seconds of silence descended on us.
“Locals, maybe,” Scout said, lifting a broad shoulder. “Or some smart-arse kids.” I loved his eagerness, his need to still prove he was worth something.
At least one of us still gave a shit about the club.
Me? I was walking the thin line, veering off course more than I should have.
Bear yawned, rubbing his right eye. “Don’t think it was kids.” He hadn’t slept much last night. Looked it, too. “That wasn’t just vandalism. It was a message.”
He wasn’t wrong, and I finally had something I could sink my teeth into. And fuck, I needed the distraction.
I nodded, taking another mouthful of now-lukewarm coffee. “Agreed. Kids wouldn’t be stupid enough. A rival, perhaps?”
“Maybe.” Bear lifted a shoulder. A fly buzzed around the rim of his coffee cup, but he didn’t bother to swat it away. “Take your pick. Any of them would be frothing at the mouth for more turf.”
“We can’t just point fingers without evidence to prove it,” I said. “That’d just start a war.”
One I wasn’t keen on getting involved in, especially not with Sadie breathing down my neck. Christ, how much could a man take before he lost his mind completely? Mine had been on the way out for years. Only now I was realising how close I was to the edge.
“Who’s bikes?” I glanced between Scout and Bear.
Scout cleared his throat like he was waiting for permission. I lifted a brow, encouraging him to speak. “Rosie, Armstrong, and Nate,” he said, leaning back in his chair.
I pinched my lips between my fingers as I contemplated his words. Those three weren’t known to cause trouble, not in town anyway. Not sure if they were targeted specifically, or if the attack was purely an opportunity not worth passing up.
“They see anything? Anyone?”