Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ROWAN
B lood and mud and something sour infiltrated the air, growing stronger the closer I got to the arsehole bleeding out.
The entire field behind the warehouse was shadows and long grass, a graveyard for every terrible choice I’d ever made, and now I was wading through it, my boots leaving imprints with each step.
A rusted-out oil drum sat tipped in the weeds, half-swallowed by earth.
No one would find a body here. Not unless they were looking to bury another.
And right now, it was home to Snake—and where I was going to leave him to rot after I tore his insides out through his throat.
I stepped around a large tree, and there he was, sprawled in the weeds, choking on his own fucking blood, a sticky trail of red leaking from the fresh holes in his gut and leg. Even with his insides leaking out, the bastard still couldn’t shut the fuck up.
For a moment, I considered walking away, letting him bleed out while the wild dogs ventured closer for a bite. But I’d never have given the prick a chance of living, not after what he’d done to Sadie—to me. That would have been the easy way, and I didn’t do easy.
I stalked closer, boots silent, gun low and ready. Snake’s cut was half-off his shoulders, the patch invisible under the pooling blood. He’d always wanted to be a legend. I could almost respect the commitment, if I didn’t want to see him choke on his own tongue first.
I kneeled, close enough he’d be able to sense me. His eyelids fluttered, consciousness warring with the pain I’d hoped was fucking unbearable. When his hollow gaze landed on me, the fucker even managed a laugh—more of a wet, ragged gurgle, really.
“Thought you’d come running,” he rasped, every word bubbling with spit and blood.
“Couldn’t let a brother bleed out alone,” I said, voice tight.
I pressed my thumb into the wound in his stomach, hard, driving in every ounce of rage I’d buried since Logan died, since Sadie screamed his name like it could bring him back.
Snake shrieked like a stuck pig. I shoved the digit in further, unflinching. “Stupid move going after Sadie.”
His grin widened, blood foaming between his crooked teeth. Even as his body convulsed, he was still taunting me with the threat of what he once was—a greasy prick without a conscience.
“Oh Rowan, always the hero.” His breath whistled in and out, a high-pitched wheeze.
He coughed, a shudder rolling through him, and for a split second I thought it was the end.
But the fucker clung to life, clinging to the power it gave him.
“Truth is, I was just going to make it look like an accident. You know, like I did with Logan.”
“What did you say?” My voice was a low growl, barely audible .
My blood ran cold. Not just rage this time—grief, disbelief, and something blacker than hate.
“You heard me,” he wheezed, choking on a surge of blood.
“Logan was just as stupid as your old man.” His gaze bore into mine, a defiant edge in his tone that I didn’t like one bit.
“Iron wasn’t going to take the kid out, said he’d come round when he figured out what was good for him.
But your brother didn’t want to play nice.
He wanted to run his mouth. So I tied the loose end. Like I always do.”
Silence. He let it sit there, like a corpse no-one could bring themselves to bury.
He licked his lips. “Should have seen his face, VP. He begged. Said he’d keep it shut. Said to tell you, and the little one, that he loved you.” Snake’s eyes danced, lit up with sick triumph. “You should’ve seen the way he swung, Rowan. Looked like a kid on a playground. Sad, really.”
Snake’s words twisted around my insides, drawing tight until I couldn’t breathe. I replayed every shitty day since Logan had died, every moment I’d blamed myself for being too slow, too weak, too cowardly to protect him. Now the truth presented itself, as ugly as I’d always known it would be.
A noise behind me penetrated the static filling my head.
Sadie.
She made a sound—part scream, part sob, like something breaking in slow motion. It carried across the field. It was unmistakable grief. She’d heard Snake’s words.
I wanted to run to her, to block every word, to tear out Snake’s vocal cords with my bare hands. I wanted to erase the memory before it poisoned her forever. But I couldn’t move. My feet were lead, and the world was a red tunnel.
It collapsed the second Sadie’s footsteps pounded across the dry earth, her face contorted in a way I’d only ever seen once—when she’d walked in on Logan .
“You fucking monster!” she screamed, her voice raw and primal. “I’ll fucking kill you—” Her knees buckled.
Scout lunged forward, catching her before she hit the ground. He struggled to hold her back as she clawed at the air, her nails raking his arms.
“Let me go!” She thrashed in his arms, a wild thing trying to break free of her restraints.
Her pain was a mirror of my own, raw and bleeding.
“Look at that, boys,” Snake choked out. “The little bitch has some fire in her, after all. I bet she’d fight for her life harder than Logan did.”
Something snapped inside me. For a moment there was nothing but silence, a shrill ringing in my ears as the edges of my vision sharpened.
The bastard killed my brother. All this time, I’d thought Logan had given up. Thought he’d left me by choice. But he hadn’t. Hadn’t kill himself. Hadn’t left on purpose.
My brother . . . had been murdered. And Snake, the piece of shit, was proud of it.
A sound escaped my throat, but it wasn’t a sound I recognised. It was primal, ripped raw from somewhere deep.
My legs moved before my brain could catch up, and I launched myself at Snake, my hands finding his jaw. I slammed his skull into the packed mud, once, twice, three times until the top of his head split open, and the metallic scent of violence filled my nose.
The need to obliterate him came from somewhere so old it might as well have been written in my DNA.
My tears fell silently, burning against my cheeks like salt-laced fire, but the only thing that existed was the collision of my fist with Snake’s face, the cartilage breaking under my knuckles, his eyes rolling back with each impact.
I punched him until my nails cut into my palms, and my skin split open. I couldn’t stop, not until there was nothing left but wet pulp and tooth fragments. Until the only thing anyone remembered of Snake was that he died screaming under my hands.
But then arms like steel cuffs circled my chest and yanked me from Snake’s crumbling body. I thrashed as Bear hauled me backwards, his grip tightening around my ribcage, pinning my elbows to my side.
I bucked and kicked, my desperation to finish what I’d started raging inside me. I wouldn’t have stopped until Snake was ground into the dirt for the fucking worms to eat. He had to pay for every fucking thing he’d taken from me. Even if I had to carve it out of him.
“Let go,” I barked, choking on spit and rage. “Let me finish the fucker. He deserves it?—”
“Enough!” Bear’s gruff voice cut through the haze of fury. “He ain’t worth your soul, brother. Look at what you’re doing—look at Sadie. You’re losing yourself.” He used my love for Sadie against me, forcing my head towards Scout as he held onto her.
I struggled against Bear’s iron grip, my chest heaving.
Sadie was there physically, but her eyes were raw and red-rimmed, hollowed out as tears and saliva carved lines down her dirt-covered face. Scout gripped onto her, both collapsed to their knees. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. She had exhausted her scream.
All that remained was the silence, vast and hopeless, sucking the air from my lungs. I twisted hard, but Bear held tight, his arm a goddamn vice.
“Enough, Rowan,” he spat. “You keep swinging, you’re just like him. You want that? You want to be Snake? Because I don’t.”
Behind us, Snake writhed in the dirt, his laughter gone, replaced by wet, rattling gasps. His face was a ruin—nose flattened, eyes swelling shut, lips split and dangling like overripe fruit. Blood slicked his teeth. Even his breath sounded like it hated him.
He was losing blood fast, but not fast enough for my liking. I wanted to hurt him more. I wanted to torture him. I wanted to peel back his skin and see what kind of rot was inside.
But Bear’s words echoed, nauseating and true. I didn’t want to be Snake. I wanted to be the brother Logan had believed in. I wanted to be the man standing between Sadie and the monsters, not the monster himself.
But if Snake was breathing, Sadie would never be safe.
My tears ran hot, streaking down my face to mix with the sweat and dirt already pooling at my collar. I was burning alive, all my nerve endings exposed, every breath an act of will.
“You’re right,” I spat, wrenching free from Bear’s hold. “He deserves worse.”
I didn’t care. I’d give the bastard exactly what he deserved.
My fingers found the gun at my side, pulling it free of its holster. My focus locked on Sadie, barely holding onto the storm of emotions gripping her. Even with her fury and fear, she was there. Alive. As long as that was true, I wouldn’t stop.
I’d make sure no-one hurt her ever again.
My hand remained steady as I aimed the weapon at Snake’s head. “Never again,” I muttered, picturing Logan’s smile and Sadie’s tears—my reasons, my anchors.
I pulled the trigger.