13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
Sunny
Levi's arm is heavy and warm across my shoulders as we walk across the parking lot. I let myself lean into him, savoring the solid feel of him against my side. It's still new, this whole wanting to be touched thing. The casual way he holds me close makes my heart flutter. For once, I feel like I can breathe.
The thought barely registers before Zack's latest threat slithers through my mind: "You still owe me for that date, Sunny. I never got what I wanted. But don't worry, I'll collect. Levi can't be with you all the time..."
I shudder. The memory is still too fresh, too real. Even though it's been weeks, his words still have power. If Levi hadn't shown up when he did...
Stop.
I'm not letting my brain go there, not today. Levi did show up. He handled things with Zack. He took care of things. Took care of me.
"Okay," Levi says suddenly, breaking into my thoughts. "What's going on in that head of yours?" He nudges me gently, his voice teasing but I hear the concern underneath.
“Nothing,” I lie, shaking my head, even though I can’t help but smile.
He raises an eyebrow. “Oh, please. I know you better than that. I know that look.”
“What look?” I laugh, pulling away from him just enough to give him a playful shove. “What are you even talking about?”
“That look where you kind of stare off into space, like you’re putting together some sort of master plan,” he says, squinting at me, chuckling. “Do I need to worry? You planning on taking me out? Getting rid of me?"
“Get rid of you? Take you out?" I roll my eyes but keep smiling. "Yeah, I’m definitely plotting how to take out the guy who could literally snap me in half.”
The laughter dies in his throat, and he stops. His expression snapping to serious.
“You don't really see me that way, do you?” He turns to face me. His eyes are dark and worried. “I’d never hurt you, Sunny. You know that, right?”
The way he says it, so direct, so concerned— it makes my heart do a somersault in my chest. I swallow hard and nod.
Yeah, I do know that . I think.
Levi's never laid a hand on me in any way that I didn't want. He's gentle, reassuring, always promising that he could never hurt me. But I've caught a glimpse of the other side of him—the dark part that lives right under the surface, waiting for someone to push too hard.
It should scare me. God knows I've learned what happens when that kind of intensity gets turned on you. I've got the scars to prove it. But, the messed-up part? That dangerous side of him? That's exactly what makes me feel the safest. When he gets so fierce and protective, and looks at me like I'm his to defend... it should send me running as far away as I can get.
Instead, it makes me feel like nothing can touch me.
I know how stupid it probably is to think like that. I mean, how fucked up does it make me that the thing that should terrify me is the thing I trust and love about him the most? I can’t make it make sense, no matter how I look at it or how hard I try. I don't know if I'll ever figure out how to be okay with it completely. But I'm trying.
"I know," I say softly, moving back under his arm. "I do."
It takes a minute before I feel him relax. "Good," he says, tugging me closer. "Because you're stuck with me now. I'm not going anywhere."
"I guess I can handle that," I tease, even though my heart beats a little faster at the thought. Stuck with him. I like the way that sounds.
We start walking again, falling into our easy rhythm. The whispers and stares that follow us don't dig under my skin like they used to. It's harder for them to reach me when I'm with Levi.
But there's still that cautious voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that it's only been a couple of months. People like Zack and Garrett don't just disappear. They don't forget.
I push the thought away. For the first time in years, I feel like I might have more than just survival to look forward to.
“I can't wait for your birthday,” Levi says, his voice casual but clearly trying to change the subject. “You better be ready for it. I'm going to come up with something you'll love.”
I laugh. “I told you already, it's not that big of a deal.”
He stops walking again. "Too late. I'm determined to show you what a big deal it is. I mean, eighteen Sunny. It's huge. You can like... vote and whatever."
“Voting. Right. Civic duty and all that,” I say, starting to walk without him. It's amusing how serious he looks. “I don’t need a birthday to tell me I can... ‘and whatever’. Birthdays haven't really worked out that well for me in the past.”
“Well, that was before,” he argues, grinning, "I'm here now, and I'm going to change all that. You deserve it. Just wait. You'll see.”
You deserve it.
Something in my chest tightens. Those words sound so different not being spit at me in anger. I'm not ready to hear them like this, not ready to accept all of the good things they can mean. Levi makes everything sound so simple. And maybe it is for him. Like he can magically take things and change them through sheer force of will and desire.
Levi is consuming. He's contagious. When I'm with him it's so easy for me to see everything through his eyes, his point of view. What he sees when he looks at me seems so different than how I feel. He doesn't see me as some broken thing that's trying to put itself back together for the hundredth time. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he did see me that way though. At least I'd know what to do with it then.
I bite my lip, suddenly unsure of what to say. I want to believe him. I want to let myself just relax into this, into him . And part of me has. Part of me has quit fighting and arguing about every good feeling I have these days. But there’s still that tiny part of me that's scared. Scared that once I let myself believe everything is good, it'll break into a million unfixable pieces.
“I don’t need anything fancy,” I say finally, trying to keep my voice light. “I’m serious. Just something simple. Something normal."
The word "normal" sticks in my throat. Nothing about turning eighteen is normal for me. Not like it is for other people. Other people get to celebrate freedom and independence. They get to be excited about becoming an adult. I get to wake up knowing that every single second I stay in my house is a choice I'm making as an adult.
It doesn't matter that Garrett never let me have a job, or any money of my own. It doesn't matter that I don't have the first clue about what it would take to make it by myself. What does matter is that to everyone on the outside looking in, it will seem that I want to stay. That if I really hated it, I could and would just leave. Like it's that simple.
I shiver, and Levi pulls me closer, probably thinking I'm cold. If he knew what I was really thinking about... but how can I explain how scared I am of my birthday? How it feels less like freedom and more like a noose tightening around my neck?
Mom's been talking about it too. About how I'll be an adult, responsible for my own choices. The way she says it makes it clear—if I leave, I'll be abandoning her. Leaving her alone to deal with him by herself.
“Normal, huh?” Levi’s grin softens into something sweeter, and I feel his hand slide down my arm until his fingers are laced with mine again.
I could get used to this so easily.
“Do you ever think about it?” I ask, surprising myself with the question. “What it would be like if we didn’t have to worry about all this other stuff? If it could be all be normal and was just… you and me.”
He’s quiet for a second, his face going serious. “All the time.”
"Wait." Levi stops walking and his face lights up. "I've got the best idea for your birthday."
I groan. "I thought we settled this. Simple, remember?"
"Yeah, but, this is perfect." He glances at the school building, then back at me. His green eyes sparkle with mischief. "What do you say we skip today?"
"Skip?" My stomach does a nervous flip. "I don't know..."
"Come on, Angel." He bumps my shoulder with his. "Live a little."
I bite my lip, considering. Third period is waiting—the class I share with Zack.
Usually, I can handle it, the way he stares at me, how he whispers things barely loud enough for me to hear. But after what happened in the parking lot...
"You're thinking too hard again," Levi says as he reaches up and smooths the wrinkle between my eyebrows with his thumb. "I can practically hear the gears turning."
"I have a test in English," I lie weakly.
"No, you don't." He grins. "You had that test yesterday. You told me about it."
"Right." I forgot I'd mentioned that.
"Look." His voice gets serious. "If you really want to go to class, we'll go. But I saw how you tensed up when Zack walked past earlier. And honestly?" He runs a hand through his dark hair. "We could both use a day away from here."
He's right. It would be nice to get out of here for a day. "Okay," I say before I can talk myself out of it.
"Okay?" His eyebrows shoot up like he can't believe I agreed so easily.
"Yeah." I shrug, trying to seem more casual than I feel. "But if we get caught—"
"We won't." He's already pulling me toward his truck, practically bouncing with excitement. "Trust me. I got this."
"That's what worries me," I mutter, but I'm smiling as I say it.
"I heard that." He opens the passenger door for me, and I climb in. "And I'll have you know I'm extremely trustworthy."
I slide into the seat, breathing in the familiar leather smell of his truck. "Says the guy kidnapping me."
"Kidnapping?" He clutches his chest in mock offense as he gets in the driver's side. "I prefer to think of it as a strategic extraction for birthday planning purposes."
"You're ridiculous." But I'm laughing now, really laughing, and it feels good.
He starts the engine, and the truck rumbles to life. "Maybe. But you like it."
I can't deny it. Instead, I watch as he navigates out of the parking lot, taking the back exit where fewer teachers park. His profile is sharp against the morning light—strong jaw, impossibly long eyelashes, an adorable dimple in his cheek when he smiles.
"You're staring," he says without looking at me.
"Am not." I turn to look out the window, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"Are too." His hand finds mine across the center console. "It's okay though. I like it."
"Where are we going anyway?" I ask, desperate to change the subject.
"That would ruin the surprise." He squeezes my hand. "But I promise you'll enjoy it."
We drive in comfortable silence for a while, leaving the school and its drama behind us. I should feel guilty about skipping, but I don't. Instead, I feel light. Free.
"You know what else I was thinking?" Levi breaks the silence, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand.
"Hmm?"
"About what you said earlier. About things being normal." He glances at me quickly before focusing back on the road. "Maybe normal is overrated for us. Maybe we should decide what normal looks like for us."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "Everyone else's version of normal kind of sucks, right? For us anyway. So maybe we make our own rules. Our own way of doing things."
I think about that. About how nothing in my life has ever fit anyone else's definition of normal. About how hard I've tried to pretend it does.
"Our own normal," I repeat softly.
"Yeah." His voice is gentle but sure. "And it starts with your birthday. No pressure, no expectations. Just... us. Doing things our way."
The way he says 'us' takes away my breath. Like there's never been a time it was any different. Like there was never any question that we'd end up here, together, skipping school on a random Thursday morning.
"You're doing it again," he says.
"What?"
"That thing where you think so hard you forget to breathe." He lifts our joined hands and kisses my knuckles. "Stop worrying about what's supposed to happen or what other people think should happen. Just... be here. With me."
And somehow, when he says it like that, it sounds so simple. So possible.
"I am," I whisper, and I actually mean it.