39. Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Levi
Colt and I pull up to the house as the first rays of light start creeping over the hills surrounding the property. I'm gripping the steering wheel so hard my fingers ache. The call from Z the other night left me with a lot more questions than answers. There's so much he hasn't told me and it pisses me off.
Colt sits shotgun, silent. He gave up a few hours ago trying to get me to talk. He knows my temper's resting on a hair trigger. It took a full day and a half to get things settled, and ready for us to clear out, and another ten hours of driving. I'm tired and ready to get some sleep and answers.
"Take it easy," he murmurs as I kill the engine. "Whatever's going on, you have to remember you trust Z. He's your brother. I'm sure he has a good reason for doing things the way he has."
I grunt in response, too wound up to form words. I toss him the keys and he hops out of the truck and starts directing the guys who followed us into parking spots. Most of them have never been here before and I want to make sure they're familiar with the place and settled in as quickly as possible.
The house is quiet, only a few lights coming from the back of the house are visible, but as I let myself in the back door I catch the sound of voices. And then—a high pitched, musical laugh.
Sunny.
The sound strikes a chord inside me. It's a sound I never thought I'd hear again. I follow it into the kitchen.
I freeze when I hit the doorway, gut-punched by the scene in front of me. Sunny's leaning against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, wearing nothing but an oversized white T-shirt with a familiar logo emblazoned across the chest. It's one of Z's favorite band shirts. Her long blonde hair falls in messy waves around her shoulders and down her back. She's barefoot and seems completely at ease.
She laughs again. My breath catches as I watch her eyes crinkle at the corners as she grins at Ty. Fucking Ty. The guy I hired three years ago and have never heard string more than five words together at one time unless absolutely pressed. But here he is, standing center stage like some wind-up toy with no off switch. He's so invested in being the morning's entertainment he doesn't even notice me standing here.
And then there's Z...
Standing next to the sink, dumping an ungodly amount of sugar into a cup of coffee with a stupid grin on his face. He's shirtless, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and looks like he just rolled out of bed. He drops a spoon in the mug and offers it to Sunny. "Here you go, your morning cup of sugar. Just the way you like it," he says.
It feels like I'm intruding—getting ready to walk into a private moment I have no right to disturb. It's intimate. It's cozy. It's making my blood boil.
"Morning, Levi." Z says without turning, without taking his eyes off Sunny.
Of course he knew I was here.
"We were wondering what time you guys would get here.”
The smile slides off Sunny’s face the second he says my name. Z leans in and murmurs something into her ear I can’t quite hear. Whatever it is, she rewards him with a soft, sweet smile.
When she turns toward me, the smile is gone and her face is shuttered and unreadable. The guarded look she wears twists something deep inside my chest.
Realization slaps me in the face. This is her new normal. Here. With him.
"You've got to be kidding," I spit out.
Z turns his gaze to me, arching his brow. His expression is otherwise neutral. "About?" His voice is calm, steady.
He knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"This." I open my arms and sweep them around the kitchen. "All of this. I thought—" I sneer, curling my lip in disgust. "Is this why I haven't heard anything from you in weeks? Too busy playing house?"
Zane's eyes narrow and his voice drops dangerously low. "I would choose your next words very carefully, if I were you. You have no idea what you're talking about," he warns.
Ty takes the opportunity to slip out of the kitchen, brushing past me without a word.
“I'm not a fucking idiot you know. Is this why you were so anxious to get me out of town?" The words taste like acid on my tongue. "You wanted her all to yourself."
Sunny's mouth drops open in shock. She stays silent but takes a step, positioning herself so she's standing slightly behind Z as my voice escalates. He shoots me a glare as he moves himself closer to her. The protective gesture only feeds my building rage.
"How long?" My voice thunders through the kitchen, and Sunny's whole body jerks as if I've struck her. I see her hands start to shake, her chest rising and falling as her breath comes in quick, shallow breaths. Her eyes are still focused on me, but they’re clouded with fear.
I hate myself for the words, but I can’t make them stop.
"I said how long," I hiss through gritted teeth. There's a far away voice somewhere in the back of my mind, screaming at me to stop. To walk away before it's too late. Before I say something I can't take back. But I don't. I can't.
"Levi," Zane's voice is calm, but full of warning as he speaks, "I won't warn you again."
Sunny cringes, letting her forehead fall against Zane's arm. My brain is flooded with the memory of a terrified seventeen-year-old Sunny stepping behind me that way—letting me put myself between her and the monster, between her and Garrett. Except this time, I'm the one she's afraid of. I'm the one she wants protection from. The realization does nothing to stop the words from pouring out.
"How long has this been going on?" I snap, my voice turning into a roar.
Sunny visibly flinches at each word as it leaves my mouth. The sight of her in Z's shirt, the easy way she was laughing, the way she trusts him—it's all too much.
Her face is hidden, but I can see her toes digging into the wooden floor. A nervous habit she never grew out of apparently. "Since he isn't going to answer me, maybe you will. How long Sunny? How long have you been fucking my best friend?"
She sucks in a sharp breath. Good, I hit a nerve. Maybe now I can get some answers.
"Is this how you've both decided to hurt me? To get revenge?" I let the words land, giving them time to sink in and find their mark.
The color drains from her face. Her eyes well with tears as she shakes her head.
"You owe me an answer. You both owe me at least that."
Those are the words. The ones that snap her out of whatever place she was stuck in. She lifts her head, looks at me, and everything shifts. Her expression hardens and the fear dissipates. Her hands curl into tight fists clenched at her sides.
She steps out from behind Z, shoulders squared, chin lifted. The frightened girl is gone, replaced by a woman who looks ready to tear me apart with her bare hands.
"Just who the fuck, do you think you are?" she questions. Her voice trembles with rage.
Fury blazes in her eyes, pinning me in place. She moves forward, each step deliberate and charged.
" I don't owe you anything Levi. Not one damn thing. How dare you come in here and demand anything from me." Her voice, razor-sharp cuts through the kitchen.
Z moves to step between us, but Sunny raises her hand, stopping him cold. He backs down and she advances.
"You gave up any rights you had with me the night you left me."
The sight of her standing there, arms crossed, body trembling with anger, shatters a part of me. I made a mistake. I wish I could take it back. Start over.
"You want honesty Levi? Wanna hear my secrets?" Her laugh is bitter, nothing like the sweet sound from moments ago.
She takes her final step forward, jabbing her finger into my chest looking up at me, defiance shining bright in her eyes as she continues. "Let's start with an easy one."
Sunny leans in, her voice little more than a whisper. "That night? I remember everything, Levi.”
The room tilts and I feel dizzy. A tiny, sad smile curves her lips as she watches the weight of her words settle. That can't be true. There's no way that's true.
"For one stupid, stupid moment I thought you'd come to save me. Rescue me. But that's not what happened, is it? You called the cops, then stepped over me like I was a piece of trash and walked out."
She blinks back tears but doesn't look away. "You left me there to die, Levi. By myself."
"Sunny," my voice cracks as I speak. "No. That's not what I—I'm sorry, I didn't—" The words tangle in my throat, getting caught on the lump forming there.
"Here's a little more truth for you since you want it so bad." She cuts through my stammered apologies.
"I laid in that hospital bed for twelve days, Levi. Twelve. Fucking. Days. Two surgeries on my hand, dressing changes. Pain you can't even imagine. And no one was there. Not a single soul. Not you. Not my mom. No one." Her voice splinters and she forces a deep shuddering breath into her lungs before continuing.
"Oh, but don't worry. I still made plenty of excuses for you though. For quite a while actually. I could not believe that I'd been so wrong about you. I thought, there's no way he’d abandon me. He loves me. He promised. But, that's exactly what you did isn't it?"
She pauses, waiting for a response, but I have nothing. There are no words.
"I waited, Levi. I begged and prayed and hoped for just one phone call. One visit. Anything to let me know that I hadn't made it all up. Anything to let me know that I wasn't alone. That you weren't a liar."
Tears stream down her cheeks now, but it's the hollow whisper her voice becomes that guts what's left of me. "But you never came back. And that's where the biggest truth of all is, isn't it? After everything we went through—after all of your pretty words and promises—when it came right down to it—it didn't matter enough to you. I didn't matter enough to you."
Each word drives another nail into my chest. For the first time I feel the full weight of what I did and what I failed to do and it threatens to bring me to my knees.
"Holy fuck, Levi," Colt breathes from behind me. I hadn't even heard him come in from outside.
"And now, now you want to pretend that you care? That I matter to you?" She shakes her head. "You're the one who isn't being honest, Levi."
"I'm so sorry, Sunny." The words feel pathetic, but I force them out anyway. "I thought you were gone. I truly believed that. I never would have left if—" I swallow hard. "I couldn't face it, couldn't face living without you. Please, please forgive me."
"It looks like you found a way to manage just fine." She looks at me for a long moment, her expression carved from stone.
"One last little piece of honesty. Something I hope you think about for a long time. You always thought you were the good guy, so proud to be my savior. But the truth is, you Levi, are so much worse than Garrett ever was. At least when he was hurting me, using me, he didn't lie about it. He knew what he was doing, what he was and never pretended to be anything but that. You though…" she says quietly.
The words steal the air from my lungs and leave me reeling. My legs nearly buckle beneath me as the full weight of her accusation crashes over me. The truth of it—being compared to Garrett, being told I'm worse —shatters something down in the very core of who I am.
I lower my eyes to the floor. I can't look at her, can't bear to see the truth of her words reflected in eyes that used to look at me with so much love and trust.
"You don't deserve an answer to your question, but I'll give you one anyway." She lowers her head and stares at the floor, the tension draining from her body.
"After that night… after you left…"
Her breath hitches and she wraps her arms around herself. "There hasn't been anyone. No one's touched me, Levi. Not once in the past seven years. Garrett was the last. You know why?"
Her voice is thick with grief and pain and barely more than a whisper as she continues. “Because you destroyed any chance I ever had of being able to trust anyone again. I hate you for that. And I will never, ever forgive you."
Before I can respond, she turns and runs up the stairs. The sound of her door slamming echoes through the house, followed by the decisive click of a lock.
I stand frozen in the kitchen, her words replaying in an endless loop. The magnitude of what I've done—the depth of pain I’ve caused—crashes into me and steals my breath.
My legs give out and I sink to my knees, barely registering Z and Colt's presence anymore.