CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
Amelia
L uke squeezes his eyes shut as his nose brushes against my cheek, and I’m about to speak when he lets out a strangled groan and drops to his knees, resting his head against my stomach. His arms curl around my legs, and he bunches the material of my satin shorts before staring up at me, his teeth clenched as though it pains him.
“We can’t,” I rush out, but my voice holds no conviction as his pleading eyes meet mine.
“There’s something here, Amelia. I don’t know what it is but it’s something. Can’t you feel it?”
My heart skips as if reminding me that I do. I feel all of it, but it’s not that simple. “Yes,” I whisper, “but it doesn’t change a thing.”
Luke suppresses a groan as his hands lower, causing his fingers to brush against my skin. The sensation sends a spark through me and my legs quiver, giving my true feelings away.
“Please, Amelia. I need you to focus on the here and now. To trust that this is real. Even if it’s just for today. Just. This. Once.”
The raw desperation in his tone has me melting against him. I want this as much as he does, but we’d be blurring the lines of our arrangement, more than we already have. If it ends badly, the person who loses the most can’t defend itself.
“Luke.”
“I know. Fuck, I know.”
He groans again, louder this time, before his lips touch the sliver of bare skin between my shorts and my top. It’s so faint that I can’t tell if I imagined it, but a warmth lingers either way.
For a torturous few seconds, I hover on the edge as a need pools between my legs. I fight an internal battle, trying not to react as I decide between what’s right and what I need.
When he finally moves again, he kisses a path across my stomach, and my heart pounds so hard he couldn’t possibly miss it. But I don’t speak. I don’t tell him to stop. Even though everything is screaming at me to pull away.
“Fuck, Amelia.” His fingers bite into my skin, his touch frantic…kissing, nibbling. “ Jesus .” He curses himself before releasing his hold and staring up at me once more. “Tell me to stop,” he begs. “But also, don’t. Please don’t.” His breath is so rushed and needy that it silences me. I have never felt this wanted in my life. I have never had someone so desperate to have me that he’s on his knees begging. And it’s hard to say no when I need him all the same.
“I can’t,” I whisper and his head drops back as he bites his lip without waiting for me to finish. “I can’t tell you to stop because I want you, Luke. I’m just so scared.”
“I’ve got you, Amelia. I won’t let you drown.”
His words penetrate my heart, and for the first time I don’t see the guy he projects to the world. I see the boy I remember, the teen I found again that night in the attic, the guy I once thought was put on this earth to protect me.
“I trust you, Luke. Here and now, I trust you completely.”
Luke’s eyes flash to mine as he curls his fingers beneath the band of my shorts and panties, holding them like a lifeline, a guttural groan ripping from the back of his throat. He kisses my stomach again, before standing up and walking me backward toward the wall.
And when my body hits the plaster, something snaps between us and there’s no going back.
I’m not sure who’s the first to move, but within seconds, I’m clawing at his shirt, as his hands sink into my hair. We pause for the briefest of seconds, our eyes locked as a moment passes between us. This is a big deal. No matter what we tell ourselves, this is bigger than tonight. I just pray we’re not making a mistake.
As soon as the moment passes, Luke presses his mouth to mine, consuming me in a possessive kiss, his hold on me tightening. I let out a soft moan and he takes advantage, slipping his tongue inside my mouth as he tilts my head, positioning me so he can deepen the kiss.
My heart races as our tongues dance, and while I struggle to take in air, I want more. I don’t ever want to stop. My grip on his shirt tightens as I drag him closer and he groans, breaking our connection to kiss a path down my neck, his hands gliding to the top of my robe so he can push the material from my shoulders.
He moves me away from the wall, and I let the robe drop to the floor before lifting my arms and allowing him to glide the silky camisole over my head, leaving me half naked in front of him.
“This body. Fuck… I can’t get enough of it.” He kisses his way toward my breasts, wrapping his lips around one of my nipples, his tongue lavishing the bud.
I cry out as my body bucks against his, and the sensation of him finally touching me again is almost too much to bear. This morning was amazing. A moment I’ll never forget. But this is so much more than that.
I run my hand through his hair, gently tugging on the strands as he moves to my other nipple, before making his way across my ever expanding belly, staring up at me with his signature smirk.
But when my legs shake under his intense gaze, his brows furrow before he stands up, pushing my shorts down in the same movement, not bothering to wait until I’ve stepped out of them before spinning me toward the couch and perching me on the arm, facing him.
“I’ve got you,” he repeats before pressing a chaste kiss to my lips and dropping to his knees, spreading me wide, his eyes locked on my core as he clenches his teeth. “God, Amelia,” he groans. “You’re always wet for me. Always ready.” I try to close my legs but he stops me, his voice as much as his touch halting my moves. “Such a beautiful sight. And while I can’t wait to sink my cock inside you again, I need to taste you first. I need all of you. Not being able to touch you this morning almost killed me.”
He slides my panties to the side and runs his tongue through my heat, making me cry out as my body shakes. “God, Luke.”
“I know. But I promise, no teasing this time. I need it too much.”
As he licks me again, he presses a finger to my entrance and ever so slowly pushes inside me, as if knowing I’m going to need a moment to get used to it again. After giving me a second, he curls the tip and rubs against my wall until I cry out, my body grinding against his face, seeking my pleasure, just like he once asked me to do.
“Yes. Good girl. Fuck, you’re gorgeous when you take what you need.”
Jesus . That mouth.
He makes me want to please him. To do more to elicit the sexy raspiness of his voice.
Because with that and the control in his tone—the praise—I am butter in his hands.
“Make me come, Luke. I need to come.”
“With pleasure.”
He sucks my clit into his mouth and pumps a finger inside me before adding a second and twisting them around. I thrash against his face as the pressure builds inside me, the sensation of my impending orgasm sitting just out of reach.
As if sensing I’m close, Luke removes his fingers and penetrates me with his tongue before slowly licking toward my clit as his finger hovers closer to my back entrance, the tip resting against my hole. I have never done anything like that before, but just the thought of it, the fact that he’s pushing me out of my comfort zone while his tongue curls against my clit and his thumb rubs against my core, has me flying over the edge until I’m cursing the heavens for relief.
“Oh Godddd,” I moan as my body jolts and my release coats Luke’s face. My eyes find his as he smiles up at me, his tongue teasing me until my body spasms and I have to beg him to stop.
When he finally slows his movements, my breath calms, and after giving me one last lick, he stands up, the warmth of his body surrounding me before his touch caresses my skin.
“You’re perfect, always, but when you come apart like that…” He groans. “The way you trusted me. You’re incredible. Are we still okay?”
“Yes,” I rush out. “More than okay.”
“Good.” He leans closer until his breath warms my neck. “Do you want more?”
God . My legs clench again as a shiver runs through me. “Yes,” I whisper breathlessly. I hate that I can’t see his expression right now, but it’s better that I don’t. I’m already hovering dangerously close to falling for him, and it’s too fast. We need to slow down. Everything is backward. Though I can’t deny the way he makes me feel wanted. The way everything he does makes me feel wanted and safe. “Take me, Luke. For tonight, whatever you want. I’m yours.” We can work the rest out later.
“Amelia, fuck.” His voice wavers and the warmth of him disappears as he stands up and moves away. I’m just about to panic, thinking that I’ve said the wrong thing when the sound of a condom packet permeates the air and I actually laugh.
“Little late for that, don’t you think?” I sass before covering my mouth, terrified that I ruined the moment. But Luke chuckles.
“I didn’t want to assume, you know, because…”
He trails off as my smile fades until I get it. He’s protecting me again. “Have you ever gone without?”
“Never. But I had a condom break once.” He winks and I burst out laughing. This shouldn’t be funny. We’re talking about him sleeping around, but for some reason, and God knows why, this is different. And I could be deluding myself into thinking he’s changed, but deep in my gut I feel it.
“Do you…ah…want to go bare?”
“You have no fucking idea how much I want that. But only with you.”
My heart jolts as I take the condom from his hand and toss it near the discarded packet. While that’s not the most romantic notion, it means something because I want that connection too. I want him everywhere. I want him to own me.
A fire sparks in Luke’s eyes before he grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet, walking me to the front of the couch.
“Wait. You don’t want to use the bed?”
“You don’t have a headboard.”
“So?” I swallow a lump in my throat as he spins us around and drops his pants to the carpet, letting his cock spring free between us.
“So…” He sits down, and slides to the back of the couch before reaching out and taking my hand again, gliding me forward until I’m positioned between his legs. “I want to see you when I slide into you.” He curls his fingers through the top of my panties. “I want to see your face when you moan my name and come on my cock.”
It takes everything in my power not to moan for him now as he slowly drags my panties down my legs, but I hold strong. “We couldn’t do that in bed, lying down?”
I’m not sure why I’m questioning him, but since missionary is a coupley position ,my head runs rampant, questioning if he’s avoiding it.
Luke bites back a smile as he grabs me behind the knees and pulls me on top of him until I’m straddling his lap. “Believe it or not, Amelia, this muscle ain’t fake. If we’re in the bed, lying down and I lose control… I don’t want to accidentally hurt you. Or Jelly Bean. And trust me when I say, I have never lost control before but something tells me I could easily lose it with you.”
Oh.
“Okay,” I say as I gasp, ignoring the tension in my chest, writing it off to lust.
“Okay?”
“Yes.” I bite my lip and nod before releasing it. “Please.”
“Fuck, Amelia. You’re killing me.”
With his eyes locked on my center, Luke grabs his cock, pumping it a few times, and my need builds, my core pulsing as I wait for his touch.
I lift to my knees and he lines himself up with my entrance, groaning as I slide down his shaft, painstakingly slowly, a little to tease him and a lot to readjust myself to his size.
Luke watches as his cock disappears inside me, and the second he’s buried to the hilt, he lets out a pained groan. “Jesus, Amelia, this is incredible. You feel incredible. I need to move.”
“Move. Please.”
He responds with his actions, his palms curling around my waist, and he lifts me up and slams me down onto him, pumping into me as our bodies crash together. It’s fast and messy, but when I open my eyes and find him staring up at me with the same loving gaze he had earlier, the world stills.
A silent conversation passes between us, and we both slow to a gentle rhythm, rocking back and forth, as my heart beats out of my chest. This isn’t sex; we’ve moved way beyond that and it scares the hell out of me.
“Luke,” I whisper, as emotion overwhelms me.
“I know, Amelia,” he whispers. “I know.”
We naturally pick up speed again, and it’s not long before the pressure swirls around my body, my release imminent.
“I need more. I’m close.”
Breaking our stare, Luke bites down on my nipple and I cry out, increasing my speed until I’m pounding against him, desperate for him to join me. I lean back, giving him better access as I move to grab his hair, but he stops me when he presses down on my clit, the pressure sending my body soaring.
I scream out his name, and he pumps a few more times before he grunts out mine and follows me over the edge, his cock pulsing inside me. “Yes, Amelia. God.”
We continue to rock slowly as our ragged breaths calm, and when our movements naturally come to an end, Luke pulls me closer until my forehead rests against his.
“So tonight you’re mine,” he whispers as I close my eyes and breathe him in, the idea of that settling inside me. I hum in response, my way of saying yes, until he palms my face, making me open my eyes to stare at him. “But tomorrow we’re going to talk. I want more, Amelia. And I think you do too.”
My jaw drops as the air rushes from my lungs, and I’m just about to speak when Luke presses his mouth to mine. “Tomorrow,” he whispers against my lips. “Don’t think until tomorrow.”