Chapter 7 The Thunder Rolls
The Thunder Rolls
? Carlo’s Song - Noah Kahan
Twelve Years Ago
Jaxon
I stare out at the landscape as a blanket of dark clouds rolls in, casting harsh shadows over the ranch. It’s fitting after the day I’ve had. Maverick carries me down the familiar path toward the waterfall with Ryan following close behind on Copper.
I was hoping for some time alone, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn down Ryan’s offer of company when I know he’ll be leaving town soon. We only have so many trail rides left before he’s halfway across the country.
“Come on. I need a wingman,” Ryan says. "I heard a certain curvy redhead is going to be there.”
He waggles his eyebrows at the mention of my girlfriend—or ex-girlfriend as of roughly three hours ago. Ryan doesn’t know we broke up, and I don’t feel like talking about it. She almost came between us once. It’s not something I want to rehash.
I let out an exasperated groan. “You know I’m not into that scene, man. Since when have you ever had any trouble finding someone to warm your bed? Run through all the buckle bunnies already?”
“Fine. Maybe I just want to hang out with my best friend one last time before I head out West.”
“Don’t be so fuckin’ dramatic. You’re moving away, not joining a monastery. Besides, you know Wilder lives in Denver. I can visit you when I’m there.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
"Yeah, yeah. Race you to the waterfall?"
“You’re on.”
I click my tongue, and Maverick takes off like a shot, leading the way around the worn-down path on the outer edge of the pasture, kicking up dirt.
Every muscle in my body is pulled taut as I lean into each subtle shift, letting nature and instinct take the lead.
I trust Maverick with my life—he’s never led me astray.
Ryan pulls up alongside me, Copper’s hooves thundering in my periphery. He grins. “Come on, Copper. Let’s go.”
The first drop of rain hits my palm, then another on the tip of my nose. The sky opens up, and the rain comes pelting down. While I’m distracted by the sudden downpour, Ryan pulls ahead of me, tossing up a middle finger over his shoulder. His laughter reverberates in the open expanse of the valley.
Whispering Oaks Ranch.
My home.
My favorite place in the entire world.
Or at least… it was.
An ominous roll of thunder sends a chill down my spine. A chilling crack of lightning follows. Copper startles. He rears back, bucking Ryan off his saddle and onto the muddy trail.
Everything happens in slow motion as my best friend falls to the ground. I’m helpless to do anything but watch as Copper’s hooves come down with a sickening crack.
No.
No no no no.
This can’t be happening. Ryan is an experienced rider.
Copper bolts, fear driving him forward. Maverick releases a low rumble, stopping short of the horrifying scene playing out on the ground.
The rain continues its assault as I dismount onto the muddy path.
I crash to my knees, pulling an already lifeless Ryan into my arms, his face frozen and expressionless.
A sob tears through me, and I scream, the guttural, heart-wrenching sounds piercing through the night.
I glance at the broken watch on Ryan’s wrist, suspended in time. Mocking me. 8:36 p.m.
Present Day
I toss another bag of feed into the bed of my truck and swipe the back of my hand over my forehead. Whenever I need to get out of my head, manual labor usually does the trick, but not today.
Today, the weight of my past is insurmountable. I’m going through the motions, detached from any semblance of fulfillment. Whatever boring excuse for a life I had planned out, whatever future I thought I might have, vanished the moment I watched the light fade from my best friend’s eyes.
I gave up any plans I had as some kind of fucked up recompense for what happened that night. Friendships wilted over time, and I convinced myself that human connections were the source of pain, so I never sought them out.
My family and this ranch are the only things that have kept me grounded all these years. Now, as I reflect on the flimsy life I’ve built, I can’t help but wonder if the very thing I’ve been denying myself is what I’m chasing with Callie.
It was easier when she was a name on a screen—merely a concept of a person.
Even then, I was drawn to her. Now, the pull is even stronger, and I have to face reality.
I might not be enough. She needs someone who can break through the walls she’s built around her heart, and more importantly, someone who’s willing to do the same.
I don’t know if I’m that person, but I want to be.
I work late into the evening, until my muscles ache and my body protests against the repeated strain.
It’s a welcome pain, a reminder to be grateful that I’m still alive to feel it.
There were two of us racing that night; only one of us made it back.
The man I once was—determined, fearless—he died on that trail, too.
I know all too well how close we are to utter devastation at any given moment—mere seconds away from having your whole world flipped on its axis.
One slip. One wrong turn. One thunderclap away from losing everything.
I don’t want to waste whatever time I have left standing on the other side of the fence, watching everyone else find happiness.
I want to be in there with them, and I want to do it with Callie Cooper in my arms, if she’ll have me.