Chapter 14 #2
“You missed the exit.”
“Shit.” He course corrects without another word.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Fine.”
“Did I do something?”
Doing a double take, he reaches across the bench seat and squeezes my thigh.
The touch seems to scorch through my skirt, down to the very marrow of my bones.
I stare at where we're connected—at that beautiful, capable hand.
Have I been so touch-starved that every comforting gesture feels monumental?
His low voice interrupts my swirling thoughts. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. Just some bad memories is all."
The rest of the drive passes in silence, and his hand never leaves my thigh. While I know I should brush him off, I can’t bring myself to do it. His thumb traces a lazy pattern over the fabric separating him from my bare skin, and a longing I refuse to give voice to settles heavy in my chest.
He parks in front of the library. The moment his hand leaves my thigh, I miss the contact. Light catches in his emerald eyes as he glances in my direction.
I swallow thickly and look away. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Anytime. I'll be by later to pick you up after work.”
“Actually, Mo’s gonna pick me up today. We have a book club meeting.”
If he knows I’m lying, he doesn’t say anything. Disappointment flashes across his features, there and gone in a blink. He plasters on a forced smile and nods once. “See you at home.”
Home.
His, not mine. I have to remember that.
Mo picks me up after work, five minutes late and more than a little perturbed. She pulls away from the curb, and soon, Willow Valley fades in the rearview. “Why did you make me drive all the way out here to pick you up?”
“My car still isn’t fixed.”
“Right... but I thought you had an arrangement with Jaxon.”
“I did. It’s just…”
I could tell the truth. Admit that I’m starting to have feelings for Jaxon, and it scares me. Or I could lie and make up something equally believable. Mo saves me the effort of doing either.
“You’re having too many grown-up feelings about the nerdy cowboy.”
“Why do you have to say it like that?”
“So, you admit it then?”
I shift in my seat and tug at a stray thread on my tights.
Not unlike the rest of my life, the small tear becomes a run, and I silently curse my stupidity.
“Honestly, I don't know what I’m feeling. Sometimes he’s cocky and way too assertive, but there are moments when he’s gentle and attentive. I don’t know what to do with that.”
“Are you asking for suggestions? Because I hate to break it to you, babe, but if Jaxon Hayes is into you, you’re living a fantasy a lot of people would kill for.”
A small spark of jealousy ignites, but I tamp it down. I have no claim over Jaxon Hayes. The emotion spills out of me anyway. “Never expected you to be into him.”
“I wasn't including myself on that list. I see Jaxon as a long-term nuisance, but that's because I grew up with him. I knew him in his high school days before…”
Her voice trails off, and pain grips my chest, like a fist squeezing my heart. “Before?”
“It’s not my story to tell. He was a different person back then. I can’t believe I'm even going to say this to you of all people, but be gentle with him. You two might have a lot more in common than you think. There’s a reason he’s been single for his entire adult life.”
“He has?”
“Have you even bothered to get to know him?”
“We talk. Just not about anything of substance.”
“Jaxon hasn’t dated anyone in years. He has one-night stands, but that’s as far as it ever goes with him. Look, I don’t like talking about people behind their back.”
I bark out a laugh. “That’s a lie, and you know it.”
Pot meet kettle.
If we're tallying up the lies between us, I’d take the grand prize for lying-est liar that ever lied.
“Ok, fine. I don’t like talking about people who don’t deserve it. Just get to know him if you think this could be something. Let it develop naturally. If it doesn’t work out, no harm, no foul. If it does, I’m wearing a suit to the wedding.”
“The way you put it, it would be another casual hookup. Why would I be any different?”
“He’s never pursued anyone the way he’s pursuing you. He sure as shit never offered to let someone stay at the ranch. In his house, no less. He cares about you, Callie.”
If she knew Jaxon found me sleeping in my car, she’d probably see things differently. What Mo sees as a pursuit is just kindness. I can’t start believing it’s anything more than that. What we have is a budding friendship. That’s all I have the capacity for anyway.
The closest I’ve ever come to a full-blown relationship was a month-long flirtation that ended when she found out I was a virgin. I get it—most twenty-somethings don’t want to deal with inexperience. I can’t imagine Jaxon would be up for the task either.
Besides, some small part of me still belongs to someone else, as foolish as that sounds.
She gives me a sidelong glance as we pass the Welcome to Oak Ridge sign. “Whatever you’re thinking, don't.”
“I’m not thinking anything.”
Mo parks the car outside of Chapters and Brews and twists in her seat to face me. “I know you better than you know yourself. You're thinking he’s too good for you. You”—she jabs me in the arm with her pointer finger—“are a bombshell, Callie Cooper. If anything, you’re out of his league.”
I rub at the now-aching spot on my arm and scrunch my face into a silent snarl. “Why are we talking about this?”
“Because you’re avoiding him and you need to put on your big girl pants.”
Rosie strolls past on the way into the diner and waves. I give her one of those fake smiles Midwesterners are known for, passively ignoring Mo’s incessant staring.
“All of my pants are big girl pants,” I deadpan.
Mo unbuckles her seatbelt with a dramatic flair. “You can be so annoying sometimes.”
“It's a good thing you love me.”
“How short-sighted of me.”
“Too late. No take-backs.”