Chapter 20
20
LAYLA
T he delicious weight of Archer’s body pressed against mine still lingers in my head long after I’ve fled the confines of his office. Even now, as I hang out with the girls at Daphne’s boutique a few streets over.
I still have no idea how the heck that whole situation with my boss-turned-fake-boyfriend escalated so quickly. I was only trying to be playful when I started flirting with him.
But the pocket-rocket he pressed up against me was no laughing matter. That thing was huge .
And when it twitched against my belly, I was ready to drop to my knees and say hello. Honestly, I’m just thankful to Mrs. Brighton for pulling me out of there before I did something crazy.
Like try to kiss Archer. Again.
Because I don’t think I could survive another letdown like that. Fake wedding date or not, the man’s not interested in kissing me. He’s been clear about that. I’m the one who’s not getting with the program for some reason.
Mrs. Brighton, Karli, and I are all hanging out with Daphne here at Wisteria & Grace over lunch time. Nicky, Inez and Ziggy couldn’t be here so they have to live vicariously through the photos we keep sending in the group chat.
Daphne opened her vintage clothing boutique about a year ago, right upstairs from the medical clinic Felix and Mason operate together. It instantly became my favorite clothing store in town. I’m mostly a window shopper, though.
Jeans are usually the most practical clothing option for me since I spend my days working at the hardware store and chasing after my toddler. Besides, I don’t exactly have the budget for a ton of fancy clothes. And at this point in time, I’m focused on saving to be able to afford a home for myself and my son.
Even still, I browse through the clothing racks and goof around with the girls. I stand back and watch as my friends start having their own little fashion show, trying on some of the newest pieces Daphne’s recently brought in.
I catch sight of one dress in particular that’s a real stunner. It’s a strapless summer dress covered in daisies of all colors. It’s girlish and playful and it brings a smile to my face.
When my attention lingers on the dress a little too long, Karli sweeps the hanger out of my hand. “Ooh, Layla! This would look divine on you!” she gushes, holding it against the front of my body.
I peek at the price tag and scrunch up my nose. “Buying a summer dress in the dead of winter feels like a bit of an overindulgence.”
“It’ll be summer eventually.” My bestie grins with a shrug of her shoulders. “You should at least try it on.”
Daphne comes up behind me, piling my hair into a messy updo on the top of my head. “You would look so gorgeous in this. Do you want me to put it aside for you?”
Everyone stands around watching me and I feel embarrassment heat up my cheeks.
“No.” I take the hanger from Karli’s hand and meekly slip it back onto the rack. “It’s too… much . I’m trying to get my finances in order at the moment, guys. Being ‘gorgeous’ is the least of my concerns right now. I’m just trying to survive.”
Daphne nods in quiet understanding. “I get that, hun. Priorities, y’know?”
Karli gives my shoulder a squeeze. “You’re a momma on a budget. Saving is sexy. I’m proud of you, babe.”
Meanwhile Mrs. Brighton stands off to the side, observing quietly. But she says nothing.
Still feeling self-conscious, I pluck another outfit off the rack. “Now, this would make a sexy little dress for you, Mrs. Brighton. A potential wedding outfit?” I brandish the slinky plum-colored number in the air.
It doesn’t take a lot of peer pressure to convince Mrs. Brighton to try it on. When she tiptoes out of the dressing room, our jaws drop.
“Oh my gosh, that is super sexy,” I say.
The dress dips low at the front and clings to her hips, emphasizing her cleavage and her womanly figure. She twirls proudly in front of the mirror as we rain praises down on her.
“It’s giving Old Hollywood vibes,” Daphne coos, draping a glittery shawl around her future mother-in-law’s shoulders.
Karli claps her hands. “Yeah, you should totally get that one, Mom. That is definitely your color.”
Daphne nods, too. “Dr. Brighton won’t be able to keep his hands off you in this.”
Mrs. Brighton laughs. “Well, when you put it like that, I’m going to have to get it.”
After a few more spins and poses in front of the mirror, she steps back into the changing room to return to her regular clothes.
“I love how confident you are,” I say dreamily to Mrs. Brighton when Daphne scampers off to the cash register. “Makes me want to get my shit together.”
Mrs. Brighton looks my way with softness in her eyes. “Feeling beautiful is not a luxury reserved for those who have their shit together, honey. The world is a better place when women feel good about themselves. When we feel loved, we have more love to give to all the important people and things in our lives.”
“I guess so…” I say with a sigh.
“I’m not advising you to spend money you don’t have, Layla, but next time, try on the dress. You’re allowed to celebrate your body with beautiful clothes that make you happy, no matter your age or size or shape or how much money you have in the bank. Even as you work on mending the parts of your life that you’re not-so-in-love-with.”
I let the words marinate in my mind. “I like that.”
She smiles at me, and I smile back.
As soon as Daphne is done packaging up the dress for Mrs. Brighton, she turns around the Closed sign for us to take a real lunch break. I would have been content to lounge around Daphne’s shop for our last half hour, but Mrs. Brighton is excited to walk around town and Karli says she needs some fresh air.
So at Daphne’s suggestion, we’re now all strolling through the farmer’s market arm in arm. Even though the Holidays are officially over, the whole place is still a winter wonderland, with Christmas lights twinkling everywhere you look. Fake snow in the downtown windows. Garland around every lamppost.
When we stop at a booth with fresh baked goods, Mrs. Brighton picks up a huge loaf of sourdough bread. She thrusts it into my hands. “Archer would just devour this. Fresh sourdough bread is the key to my oldest son’s heart,” she announces.
I blink down at the bread. It does smell divine. “I…didn’t know that.”
“Oh really?” She looks surprised.Then, a little suspicious. “It’s what he enjoys most, especially in the winter.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I’m supposed to be Archer’s girlfriend. I should know everything about him. Including about his favorite foods.
Mrs. Brighton pays for the sourdough loaf then hooks her arm through mine. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you the recipe for Archer’s favorite beef and squash stew. It’s perfect for this time of year.”
We head to Rainbow’s table to grab all the ingredients I’ll apparently be needing for Archer’s stew.
“Ooh! Look who’s back in town!” Rainbow comes out from behind her produce stand, arms outstretched when we approach her booth. She and Mrs. Brighton share a long hug, promptly falling into an animated conversation.
Mrs. Brighton fills Rainbow in on the past few months, catching her up on all her worldly travels. That’s when my wandering eyes spot something that makes my stomach drop.
It’s Razor.
He’s across the street, just a little way down from where I’m standing at Rainbow’s booth.And he’s not alone.He’s strolling next to Janet. Pregnant Janet.
The worst part is, she’s wearing my coat and my boots. Belongings I was forced to leave behind when Razor kicked me out of my home! As they walk, I see my ex spoon-feeding Janet frozen yogurt from my favorite ice cream shop. When she shivers, he smiles at her, pulling her scarf— my scarf —higher up around her neck.
And I can’t lie—my heart hurts.
Janet can have Razor, if that’s what floats her boat. I don’t want that immature, deadbeat back in my life.
The painful part is that Razor is treating her in ways that he never treated me. Not even in the beginning of our relationship. Not even when things were good.
I can’t help but wonder why. What’s wrong with me? Am I that unloveable?Is that why my father never gave a shit about me? Why Razor always treated me like an inconvenience? Why Archer backed away that night when I tried to kiss him?
It’s me . Something’s wrong with me .
I turn away, having lost track of how long I’ve been staring at my ex-boyfriend and the woman he chose over me.
I have to keep it together. And I assume I’m doing a good job, until Karli grabs my arm. She makes some lame excuse to the others and pulls me in the opposite direction, clearly realizing that something is bothering me.
“Are you okay?” she asks, her voice soft.
I nod. Then I shake my head. Then I nod again.
“I see that the d-bag is here.” She seethes. “Not gonna lie, I am so tempted to go over there and give him the wedgie he deserves!”
I cringe. “His hygiene seems to be deteriorating quickly. I can see it from all the way over here. Going anywhere near that underwear might not be the best idea.”
Karli snorts. “You’re right. His shit-stained boxers are probably rotting between his ass cheeks as we speak. They’d probably crumble to dust if I yanked on them right now.”
I feel a little bad for talking shit about the father of my child. Yet still, I find myself cackling right along with Karli. Her sense of humor always helps me lift my head above the surface when I’m drowning.
Her face goes serious. “Talk to me, girlie. What are you feeling right now?”
“I’m…It’s hard to explain.” I let out a heavy sigh. “It’s like karma doesn’t exist. I sure as heck don’t want Razor back, but it just feels unfair that he gets to have a happy-ever-after with someone else. Meanwhile, I’m damaged goods, and no one will ever love me.”
My mind tries to convince me otherwise, flashing back to just earlier when Archer had me pushed up against the side of the filing cabinet. I definitely felt the erection he had going on.
Sure, maybe he wants to get in my pants. I mean—he’s a guy, I’m a girl and we’ve basically been in forced proximity for the past few weeks.
But I doubt he’d ever want more from me. Love isn’t in the cards. I come with too much baggage.
Karli makes a loud sound. “Seriously, woman? You’re damaged goods ? That is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard.” She grabs my face in her mittened hands, looking me straight in the eyes. “You, my sister from another mister, are absolutely worthy of all the love in the world. Razor never deserved you in the first place. He doesn’t have any love to give, not even to his new fling. Trust me. You are one-thousand percent better off without that asshole in your life. You hear me?”
Karli stares me down until I give a watery nod.
Then she wraps me up in a warm hug and slaps my butt. “The nerve of you to be insecure with an ass like this.”
“I love you, Karls,” I mumble into her scarf with a laugh.
I don’t know if I entirely believe her, but I know that she loves me, and for today, that’s enough.