Chapter 28
28
LAYLA
N olan calls out to me from the far end of his cluttered hallway. “You think you’ll need this?”
The vintage crib that he and Archer are carrying through the chaotic mess here at his house instantly catches my attention. “Oh my gosh. A crib? Yes! Yes! Don’t get me wrong—I love cuddling with my son. But since I moved in with your brother, I spend half of every night clinging to the edge of the mattress to save my life.”
My laughter dies in my throat at the suspicious look on Nolan’s face. Oops!
Archer and I are supposedly in a hot and heavy relationship. I probably shouldn’t have implied that we haven’t been sharing a bed. I’m doing this fake-girlfriend thing all wrong.
“It’s yours, then,” Nolan declares on a forced chuckle, his distrustful gaze bouncing between his brother and me.
After a long day at the hardware store, Archer drove us over to the daycare center where I picked up Sky. Then together, we all headed off to Inez and Nolan’s place.
I pretend not to notice Nolan’s assessing expression as I make my way through the obstacle course that is his hallway. “Wow. Thank you. This is adorable.” I slowly trail my fingertips along the dusty wooden frame of the small bed.
The entire house is a mess. Their contractor is starting work next week. Apparently, Raines-Montgomery-Jones Construction is the best in this part of the state. So Archer and Nolan are in the process of moving all the extra furniture out of the house. The guys are deciding what to store in the outdoor storage shed versus what to donate versus what to throw away.
Archer had to come over here after work to help Nolan patch up the roof on his storage shed. I tagged along to pick out whatever items I might need before they end up at the curb. On the drive over here, I scribbled out a wishlist of things I was hoping to find for Sky. A crib or toddler bed was at the very top of that list. Finding one now makes me want to jump for joy.
“It’s a great piece, isn’t it?” Nolan gives the crib a nudge to prove how sturdy it is. “It’s been in the family a long time.”
“Really?” I ask, even more in awe of the beautiful crib now.
“Mom says it used to be Archer’s,” Nolan declares.
My eyes move to the broodiest of the Brighton brothers who’s leaned against a doorframe nearby, his dark gaze blatantly swallowing me up.
When he looks at me that way, my cheeks grow hot. I drop my gaze from his, self-consciously tucking my hair behind my ear and fighting a smile.
Archer’s been his quiet, broody self all day, only speaking when absolutely necessary. But the intensity between us has been at an all-time high since that moment in the kitchen last night.
If you want to get something started between us, you need to make sure that you’re ready for the real deal.
Archer made it clear that he’s attracted to me. Finally. Now I know that I haven’t been imagining the pull between us all these years. Still, I’m not sure where his confession leaves us.
Now that Archer has explained the reason he’s been keeping his distance, I only feel more feral for him. But the sexy lumberjack was also clear that he has no intention of acting on his attraction unless I’m willing to make a commitment.
Here I am, willing to let him fuck the daylights out of me. Meanwhile, the man seems to be saying that he wants to claim my heart before even putting his lips on mine.
My lady parts are whimpering.
He equates ‘sex’ with ‘commitment’—which is deliciously noble. But that bar seems kind of high for a hot mess like me. Fake-dating thing aside, it feels ridiculously selfish for me to lock down such a good man in a real relationship, to expect him to take on the massive burden that is my life.
Huh? How would that even work?
What Archer is asking for may seem pretty straightforward. But I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with relationships. Or, I should say healthy relationships. How do I even decide that I’d like to pursue a commitment with him?
Am I attracted to him? Hell yes.
Do I think he’s the kindest, sexiest, handsomest, most amazing guy to ever walk the face of this planet? Yes. Yes. And yes, some more.
I guess the problem in this equation is me. This has to be a good deal for him, too. Am I able to give Archer what he expects out of a relationship? Hell—what do I even expect out of a relationship? What are the criteria we should be looking at here?
All I know is that relationships have caused me so much pain. The people I’ve loved have never been shy about expressing how disappointed they are in me. I’ve never lived up to expectations. I’ve been a letdown in so many ways. I don’t think Archer realizes that. What happens when he figures it out?
I have so many questions. And I feel like I don’t have any answers. Until I make sense of it all, he and I are still in this fake-dating limbo.
My heart pounds when Archer finally speaks. “Apparently, Grandpa built it for me. Then it got passed down to all my siblings. Then to Stella.” His hand smooths along the edge of the crib, the tips of his fingers brushing the tips of mine.
A spark shoots through me.
The tension between us has now morphed more into sexual tension and less I’m-not-talking-to-you tension, and I’m positive we both feel it.
I suck in a breath to center myself. “Wow. That’s amazing,” I marvel. Then I hesitate. “So it’s a Brighton family heirloom. It has history. I shouldn’t take it.” Sky can’t have it. This crib rightfully belongs to future Brighton babies. This family has already done so much for me. I shouldn’t abuse their kindness.
Archer exhales deeply, setting his big, bronzed hand on top of mine with a light squeeze. “I’d love for Sky to use it, Layla,” he rumbles earnestly and I feel like I might just melt.
But I don’t. I lower my voice. “Sky and I will be leaving your house soon, Archer. And then what?”
Archer frowns at me. I can tell he doesn’t enjoy the reminder that my son and I only have sixty-ish days to live in his home.
Nolan gives his brother and me another strange look before he steps in. “How about you just take it for now? You guys can fight over who gets to keep it later.” His stomach grumbles. “Right now, let’s get this mess dealt with so I can eat.”
“Fine,” Archer mutters.
“Thank you, guys.” My eyes bounce between the brothers. “I really appreciate all this.”
Archer comes closer, gently touching the small of my back. I feel my ovaries dance. “It’s nothing, Belle,” he says, tenderness in his voice. “I just want you and Sky to be comfortable.”
My cheeks heat up when he calls me his pet name in front of his brother. But then I remind myself that we’re supposed to be affectionate around his family. That’s the whole reason we’re pretend-dating after all.
Nolan smirks. “Yeah. It’s nothing, Belle, ” he teases, making his big brother cringe.
Archer punches Nolan in the arm. “Shut it, asshole.” Then his eyes turn to me. “Ignore him.”
“I plan on it.” Remembering that Archer and I are supposed to be a couple, I decide to play up our faux-affection, too. I slip an arm around his waist and rise onto my tiptoes to kiss his bearded cheek.
He instantly starts blushing. I see it in the way his ears turn pink. But instead of shying away, he only pulls me closer. Holding eye contact, he slides his massive palm along the curve of my ass and tucks his fingers into the back pocket of my jeans.
My shock is so electric that I nearly die right there on the spot. Smirking at my flustered reaction, he pulls my wishlist out of my back pocket and unfolds the sheet of paper with a flick of his wrist.
“Okay—rocking chair, dresser, small cubby, crib.” He nonchalantly reads off the list. Like he didn’t just squeeze my ass and ruin my panties. “Anything else we should be looking for?”
I clench my thighs together and silently beg my nipples to stop tingling. “That’s it.” I clear my throat. “We’re good to go.”
“Good.” He pats my behind with finality before popping a kiss against my cheek. Then he tugs his padded moving gloves onto his hands and turns his eyes to Nolan. “Let’s get this all loaded up in my truck, shall we?”
Nolan’s grinning wider than Garfield the Cat as he pulls on his own gloves and lifts one corner of the crib. “We shall, big brother.”
Archer grunts a laugh, grabbing the other corner and the two of them carry the piece of furniture out the front door.
My head is still spiraling from the whole interaction when I stumble into the kitchen on my spaghetti noodle legs. I find Inez making dinner while Stella entertains Sky at the table. The two of them are drawing together. Well, Stella’s the one drawing. Sky is mostly banging the crayons against the table and making a racket.
“Are you guys having fun?” I ask the kids, peeking at their art projects.
Stella grins up at me. “So much fun!” Then her face goes solemn. “Aunt Layla, now that Uncle Archer is your boyfriend, does that mean that Sky can be my cousin for real?”
My chest squeezes at the question. “I’d say that Sky was always your cousin, honey.” Karli and I are like sisters, and by extension, I came to consider Stella to be my niece a long, long time ago. My so-called relationship with Archer doesn’t define that.
Her smile is bright again. “Good. I always wanted a cousin. I’ll be a good cousin, you know?”
I reflect her smile, smoothing a hand over her messy pigtails. “You’re already an amazing cousin, Stel.”
The little girl throws her arms around my waist from where she’s sitting. “I’m glad Uncle Archer has a girlfriend now. And I’m so glad it’s you.”
I lean over and kiss the top of her head.
Man—I really love the Brighton family. They’re all incredible. From the youngest all the way to the oldest. They all brim with love and compassion. Anyone would be lucky to be included in this family.
Inez glimpses over at me as I wash my hands and step up beside her at the counter. “Did you find anything you want to take?” she asks me.
“The crib is an awesome find,” I tell her as I take over slicing up the cucumbers while she assembles some sloppy Joe sandwiches.
“It’s a great crib, isn’t it?” She smiles at me.
“It is. And I’m really grateful that I won’t need to be sharing a bed with Sky anymore. I love my little guy but he sleeps like a starfish.”
Inez giggles. “I can only imagine.”
I gnaw on the inside of my cheek. “I do feel bad about taking a Brighton family heirloom, though. Don’t you and Nolan want to keep the crib for your own future babies?”
A mischievous twinkle glitters in her eyes when she leans close to me. “From the way Archer has been looking at you the whole time you guys have been here, you two will probably be making babies before Nolan and me. Hell—you’re lucky that man can’t put a baby in you with his eyes. If he could, he would have done it already.”
“Stop it.” I laugh sadly. If babies were made through eye-fucking, then fine, maybe. But Archer has made it very clear that he has no intention of touching me again unless his very clear conditions are met.
“He’s really into you,” Inez is saying now. “I mean—he’s been into you for a long time, but he used to try and hide it. But these days? The man looks at you like you are the only source of oxygen in his universe.” She tosses a glance toward the kids then turns up the volume on the music and lowers her voice. “You guys must be having so much sex.”
I scoff, keeping my voice low, too. “Sex?! We’re not having any sex, actually.”
My friend tilts her head to the side. “I don’t understand.”
I’m still feeling desperate to make sense of this sticky situation, so I let the truth gush out. “Archer and I aren’t in a real relationship. We’re just pretending.”
“What? Why?!” She blurts out.
My shoulder lifts and falls helplessly. “So that everyone stops giving him a hard time about being single. Especially with the wedding coming up.”
Inez goes quiet as her eyes widen. I cringe, watching her process this shocking new information for a long moment, wondering if she’ll judge me or if she’ll understand.
Finally, she speaks. “So, the relationship is fake, huh?”
I nod my head, feeling an unexpected wave of shame. Jeez—I’m a bad person, lying to everyone around us like this. Archer and I have convinced this whole town that he and I are in love.
“But there’s nothing fake about the chemistry between you two. It’s off the charts.” There’s a confident lilt in her voice.
“Chemistry isn’t enough, unfortunately. It’s way more complicated than that,” I admit.
“How do you mean?” my friend questions.
I peek over at the kids and turn up the music a bit higher. “Apparently, Archer doesn’t do casual sex. He won’t even kiss me without a commitment.”
Inez freezes. Her spoon dangles in the air between us, a glob of juicy ground beef slipping to the floor. “Wow. That’s kind of hot.” Her nose scrunches up. “But also incredibly frustrating.”
I whimper. “ So hot. So frustrating.”
“What’s getting in the way of making the commitment?”
I take the drippy spoon from her hand, setting it down on the counter. “Well first off, I didn’t even know that he was into me until a few hours ago.”
She tosses her head back and laughs. “Honey, everybody knows that Archer is into you. That’s probably why nobody ever questioned whether your relationship was real.”
“Really?” I ask. “He’d been giving me crazy mixed signals for years. You have no idea. He’d act like he was into me but anytime I’d try to get close to him, he’d shut me down.” I sigh. “But now that he’s let me know where he stands, I just feel…scared.”
“Scared?”
“He doesn’t understand what he’s getting himself into. What if he gets to know me better and he changes his mind about everything?”
“Why on earth would he do that?”
I shrug helplessly. “Razor says I’m worthless. My parents say I’m worthless. And now, I’m just supposed to believe this man who’s got all these great opinions of me? I feel like one day, I’m going to wake up and he’s going to say, ‘Oops! Guess I was wrong about you. Turns out, you’re trash like everyone else said you are’.”
Even if I wanted to fling myself at Archer with open arms, I don’t even know how to accept love. Let alone believe that I’m worthy of it.
“Be fucking for real, Layla.” She frowns harshly at me. “You know he’d never see you that way. That man has you on the highest pedestal.”
I shake my head. “How do I know that it’s for real? That he’s not just…confused?”
My friend sighs deeply. “I guess I understand what it’s like doubting your worth, but at some point, you just have to pretend like you’re an actress.”
I laugh. “What?”
“Pretend that you’re the main character of your life, like you’re on stage in a play. That means, you have to start being your own biggest fan even when boos are coming from the audience.”
Inez grew up in the foster care system. I won’t pretend to understand how that shapes a person’s self-esteem. But now she’s in a healthy relationship, she’s building a family, she has her dream life. She pulled it together. I want desperately to do the same.
She’s quiet for a while then she goes on. “I had to learn to let myself be loved. Slowly at first. Nolan and I took our time. We got to know each other. And I just…let him love me. It took a while to get used to the feeling, after being trained to expect rejection my entire life, it took a while to fully absorb love. But now, loving him and letting him love me feels natural.”
A tremor moves through me. All of this is so foreign that I feel like I might break out in hives.
Inez notices my apprehension and she gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to rush into anything. Just take your time. Get to know him. Really get to know him. See if you can trust him. And then make an informed decision from there.”