Chapter 47
47
LAYLA
G azing out the kitchen window, I set a dripping plate into the dish rack. Then I reach my hand back into the sudsy water for the next one.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Sneeze .
Ugh. I hate being sick. But I’m recovering quickly, thanks to Rainbow’s cough tonic that Archer bought me..
Speaking of my bossy fake boyfriend, he would be so mad if he saw me here, washing the dishes. He refused to even let me go to work today—yet again. And the minute he got back from the hardware store, he took Sky off my hands, insisting that I should take the evening to rest up and focus on getting better.
But I’m having a hard time sitting still. Plus, I’ve found that since moving in here at Archer’s place, I really don’t mind doing the dishes by hand. At first I gave him crap for not having a dishwasher. But I often find it relaxing standing here at the sink overlooking this window.
Especially with the view today.
I can see Archer and Sky in the beautiful wooded backyard, exploring. I watch as my boy plays with the twigs he finds around the yard. Archer squats down next to Sky with a handful of frozen little sticks, showing him all the different variations as they talk. I imagine Archer’s telling him which little branches grow on the different trees around the yard.
Some moments, my baby boy is in awe. He’s taking in every word and soaking it all up like a sponge. Other moments, he’s doubled over, giggling over something Archer says or does.
I’m standing here, my soapy fingers turning pruny as I watch the both of them crouched down on the cold ground, building a little mountain with handfuls of snow.
Watching Sky’s face throughout it all is such a gift.He’s developed so much since we’ve been living here. His vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds, in part because of the books Archer has been buying him, in part because of their long, rambling conversations. I’m sure my little boy will shock the pants off of Dr. Clifford when we go in for our next pediatric appointment.
I let out a soft sigh, staring longingly out this little kitchen window.This right here…It’s what I’ve always wanted. This little scene right here. Me in the kitchen, taking care of the home. My boys bundled up with the smell of snow in the air, doing outdoorsy things.
The doorbell rings, jerking me out of my thoughts. Grabbing a dish towel to dry my hands, I hustle to the front door. I find Mason standing there, a smile on his face and a Karli’s Kitchen meal box in his hands.
“Special delivery,” he announces, sliding the box into my hands. “ Very special delivery, actually.”
I frown, inspecting the big cardboard box. “What do you mean by that?”
My best friend’s husband lifts a shoulder. “Karli said to make sure you know that Archer had this box custom prepared just for you.” Mason leans in. “But he’s not supposed to know you know.”
“What? Now, I’m curious.”
“Go check it out.” Mason’s already making his way down the steps and jumping into his car.
I call out my thanks as he’s backing down the driveway. Then I turn and head into the kitchen right as Archer is helping Sky out of his snowsuit and boots on the mat by the back door.
“Dinner’s here. Great!” Archer smiles at me.
I rip through the packaging and the unmistakable scent of cilantro fills my nose. Digging in, I find limes, shredded beef, fresh tortillas, a chipotle sauce and a recipe card that says ‘street tacos’.
I throw a palm over my mouth…and I start to laugh and laugh and laugh.
“What?” Archer strolls over, peeking into the box as he shrugs off his jacket.
“You know what. Don’t act innocent with me,” I scold him.
“No idea what you’re talking about.” But I see that smirk. It’s curling one corner of his mouth and making his dark eyes twinkle.
“You got your sister to make my favorite meal.”
Archer gasps. “I did no such thing.”
“You’re annoying.” I launch myself at him, tackling him in a hug.
Laughing, Archer holds his arms up. “Help me, Sky! Help! Your momma’s attacking me!”
My son runs over, giggling and patting my leg. “Up, Mommy! Up!” He stretches his arms out to me, wanting to be included in the fun.
I scoop Sky off the floor and Archer’s arms come around us both, the three of us melting into an embrace.
“Admit it,” I demand, poking him in the ribs. “Admit that you’re behind this.”
“Kiss me and I’ll admit anything you want me to,” he shoots back.
“But I’m sick,” I protest.
“Kiss. Me.”
My grinning lips meet his grinning lips for a quick, non-germ-spreading (I hope) peck.
And Archer starts confessing. “Fine. I figured you were tired of eating chicken soup all week and wanted a meal that would make you feel better. I remembered you said that tacos are your favorite food. I tried looking up recipes online, but that shit is complicated to make. So I called up my little sister. Honestly, it didn’t take much begging because Karli has as big of a crush on you as I do.”
I laugh. “Thank you, lover man.” I kiss his cheek.
Grinning along, Sky follows suit. “Ta-kou!”
Side by side, the three of us get started on dinner. Well, Sky starts out eager to help with the pouring and stirring, but he quickly gets bored and disappears into the living room.
I put on the TV for my son and we have music playing on the surround sound in the kitchen. I hum and dance as we work and Archer can’t seem to keep his hands off me. He’s dropping kisses on my cheek and brushing my hair from my eyes and rubbing up against my ass.
Just a few minutes after Sky disappeared, we hear heavy feet dragging down the hallway.
Our heads are both twisting to see what the commotion is about. We find Sky plodding into the kitchen. Archer fights back a grin when we see that Sky is wearing his heavy work boots and his big plaid flannel shirt. My child comes wobbling forward, looking so proud of himself.
The giant shoes and clothes swallow up his tiny body. Somehow, he’s even holding a piece of cilantro over his top lip, like a makeshift mustache.
Sky beams up at us, flashing his teeth.“Look me! Look me!”
Archer and I break into laughter.
“Sky!” I scold. “You should be watching TV! Not sneaking into Mr. Mustache’s room and going through his things!”
Still, Archer chuckles. He swoops in, scooping up the little troublemaker and ruffling his hair.
I can’t help myself as I pick up my phone and start snapping pictures of the absurdly-adorable pair, in their matching outfits.
Archer leans over, pulling me into the shot, so I can get a selfie of all three of us. Together.
I beam at the camera screen, my stomach tightening at the view of us together. We look like a…family. It’s then that I realize how much I wish that we were. At first, it doesn’t freak me out like it should.
Obviously, I’m madly in love with this guy. But then I look at the enamored expression on Sky’s face. He loves Archer. So very much.
And suddenly, everything feels…different. In a way that makes me uncomfortable.
After we take way too many pictures, and Archer asks me to send them all to him, we eat a quick dinner at the table. By the time we’ve finished up, it’s getting late. I leave to put Sky to bed while Archer cleans up.
My desire for Sky to have a man— a father —in his life is something that keeps me up at night. Other than a few brief moments after Sky was born, when the notion of having a baby was fresh and new to Razor, he’s never really been a dad to our son.
No cuddles in the early mornings.No hurried trips to pick up extra diapers when we’d run out in the middle of the night. No reading stories, cutting up grapes, or watching cartoons together. Since the day Sky was born, I’ve been doing it on my own. At least that’s what it feels like.
But Archer, he does all the things a dad would do.All on his own, without being asked to.
My heart squeezes, but this time it’s not in a good way. A nauseating feeling begins creeping up on me, climbing up my throat. It’s so easy to forget that all of this is fake. And temporary. But I can’t let myself forget that. None of this is what it appears to be.
Sky is becoming too attached to Archer.And as sweet as it is, it terrifies me.
I’m disappointed with myself for being so careless. I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner, because it’s so obvious now. But I’ve been so caught up in bending rules with Archer that I didn’t realize this was happening.Sky is starting to see this man as some kind of father figure. I was so concerned with juggling how this arrangement could hurt Archer and me, but I didn’t put enough stock into how it could hurt my son.
Sky is my world. His mental health and overall wellbeing are my priority. I can’t make choices that jeopardize that.
No one has ever protected me. But I have to do better for Sky. I can’t let my baby boy get hurt. I can’t let that happen.It’s about time I start acting like a grown up here.
As much as I’m enjoying this thing with Archer, it has to end.