Chapter 50
50
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A s Darius so eloquently put it, none of us was interested in seeing some random women’s random tits at a strip club.
So we’re on an ice fishing trip for Felix’s big bachelor party. We piled into two cars and travelled a couple hours north to this little fishing hole we used to go to as kids. None of my brothers wanted to do an overnight trip and miss out on sleeping next to their woman. So, a day trip it is.
I am the only actual single male on this little trip. The only one who’ll be going home to an ice-cold bed tonight.
The car ride was torture as I listened to them all go on and on about their love lives and all the hot sex they’re having. Normally, I’m happy for them. As the oldest brother, I’m proud to see Nolan and Ronan and Felix and Darius and even Mason all paired up and in love or whatever. But today, all their lovey-dovey domestic chatter is just getting under my skin.
Because… Layla .
I keep thinking about life without her. She’s going to leave. It’s all going to be over, before it even really started.
I try to push her out of my mind. But it’s no use. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine her warm body curled up beside me in bed, face buried in my neck and chilly toes tucked under my calves. But my reality is harshly different, and this winter chill seems to be trying to eat me alive.
It’s freaking cold out here, miles and miles from civilization. It’s just ice and trees as far as I can see. Darius forgot the cooler with the sandwiches at home. So all we have to eat is the box of protein bars Ronan stores in the trunk of his car for practice and the case of beer bottles that Nolan brought from his bar. And let’s not forget the two day old muffins Mason had in his backpack from his last visit to his grandmother’s bakery in Honey Hill.
It’s the weirdest bachelor party I’ve ever been to, but no one can say this isn’t manly. I guess nothing prepares you for marriage like freezing your balls off with five other dudes.
I’m trying to pretend like I’m having a good time. On a good day, I would be. I really do love being outdoors and doing shit like this. Outside is my favorite place to be. In the woods. At the lake. Heck, even just fiddling around in my backyard.But today, nothing feels quite right for me.
Because… Layla .
As well as I try to hide it, I’m moping around, being extra quiet, and staring off into the distance. I barely even notice the excitement that breaks out when Felix hooks a two-foot lake trout, the largest thing any of us has caught out here on the ice. I kind of feel like a jerk for not hooting and hollering like the rest of the guys. But I also kind of don’t care.
I’m a shitty brother.
This is exactly what I was afraid of. This is why I didn’t want to get anything started with Layla. Because I knew I’d grow to need her, and she’d walk away from me. And I’d be devastated.
I’m so lost in my head, I don’t even notice when I have a bite on my own line. It’s more than a little nibble on my hook. Before I realize what’s happening, some monster of a fish is stealing my three-hundred dollar fishing pole. The damn thing plops right into the frigid water and slips under the ice before I can blink.
My brothers jump into action, trying to pluck it out with their own but it’s no use. My fishing pole is a goner, and now everyone’s just giving me shit.
Only Felix seems to realize that my sour mood doesn’t have much to do with losing my catch of the day or my fishing pole.
He brings his foldable stool over to mine where I’m sitting and watching everyone else have a good time. He settles onto his seat and hands me a beer. I take it, but I just stare at the frosty cold bottle, wondering if drinking it will make me feel better or worse.
He slaps me on the shoulder. “Dude, you’ve been moping around all day, acting like you did when you were in fifth grade and got your bike stolen from the baseball field.”
“Damn bike…” I mumble. That was a good one, too. My first ten speed.
Felix gives my shoulder a shake, bringing me back to the present. “What’s the deal? What’d you lose now?”
I wave him off. “It’s nothing. Don’t wanna rain on your big day. You should get back to your fishing pole before Ronan out fishes you.” Everything’s always a competition with that one.
Felix rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty secure with my catch. Did you see that sucker? Should feed me and the missus for a week.” He beams with pride. “So seriously, what’s eating at you?”
I heave a long, weighty sigh. “Layla is moving out,” I admit finally.
“Whoa, what?” He scratches his head, looking downright shocked. Yeah, you and me both, brother . “When?”
“After your wedding. The minute she’s done pretending to be my girlfriend.” Layla can’t get away from me quickly enough. I shrug, doing a shitty job of trying to pretend that doesn’t bother me.
Felix doesn’t buy it. Maybe it’s my bitter tone that gives me away.
He shakes his head. “This is your doing,” he tells me with absolutely no pity. “It’s your own fault, y’know?”
“How is it my fault? She doesn’t want me. I haven’t held back in showing her how much I care but she doesn’t want me. There’s nothing else I can do.”
“Nothing, huh?” he scoffs. “Well, I’d try to come up with something if I were you. Because you’re about to let the woman of your dreams slip away.”
“If I try to change her mind, she’s going to break my damn heart.”
“Maybe,” Felix quips as he rises from his stool. “But when she leaves, you’re going to get your heart broken anyway. You might as well put your pride aside and try to get her to stay. What’s there to lose?”
Everything, dammit. Everything.