Beautiful Ugly (Sawyer Brothers #3)

PROLOGUE

“There’s nothing for me here now.” Those six, painful words would be seared into my brain for the rest of my life.

I was a psychology major, studying the human mind, and I knew exactly what a flashbulb memory would look like.

Flashbulb memory: a vivid and enduring memory

of the circumstances in which one experienced

a shocking or emotionally significant event.

Walking away from the love of my life? Surely that could be chalked up as a significant event?

As I had driven from the beach, the true meaning behind Reed’s announcement had twisted a knife deeper into my chest. He had finally accepted that it was over.

I had won. Hadn’t I? That’s what I had wanted: to end things.

So why did my win feel like a massive mistake: like I had confessed to something, only to be given the death sentence.

Standing at the vanity in the dressing room of my bedroom, that hollow space where my heart used to be stretched wider.

I picked up the photograph of Reed, the one I had taken in high school.

He had been at football practice and wasn’t looking, so the shot was raw and real.

Just like the boy I had fallen in love with.

In the snapshot, Reed was wearing his game pants and was shirtless, his muscular, bronzed body coated with a fine sheen of sweat. His perfect athletic quarterback physique could sell postcards. I’d had the image on my phone for ages before deciding to print it off in Daddy’s office.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it, not the electronic version anyway.

The risk of Jasper going through my phone was far too high.

After that night, the picture of Reed would need to be hidden in the shoe box I kept.

The one that contained my other secrets: everything my first love had given me, even the eggshells from the first time he made me breakfast in bed.

That foster kid from the wrong side of the tracks.

Reed Prescott, a.k.a. Reed Sawyer. One of the Sawyer brothers.

He had always been intoxicating to me, like a dangerous, forbidden, addictive drug.

I ogled his handsome face, flushed from practice that day, and a lump formed in my throat.

Next to the photo was a poem Reed had written me.

Nobody else on the planet had ever seen his romantic side.

Holding the paper up to my nose, I inhaled, attempting to identify just a trace of his soothing masculine scent.

But there was nothing.

I took another swig of whiskey from the bottle in front of me. It was Reed’s favorite brand. That sweet woody scent always made me think of him.

What have you done? You’ve let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away.

I had left Reed at the beach with my half-brother and friends and had driven to meet my fiancé and his family, feeling like a wind-up doll.

But I was doing what I always did, going through the motions.

Lunch at Daddy’s country club had been a bootless errand.

All it had done was provide me with another glimpse into a future I wanted no part of; an arranged marriage to the son of one of my father’s closest business associates.

So, fight back. Call off the wedding.

A crack of thunder from outside made me jump.

It was hard to believe it had been such a nice day, and now a storm had set in.

Storm, no pun intended. The rain beat an angry tattoo against the windows of my house, echoing my inner turmoil.

It was almost like the weather had changed to match my mood.

That thought caused my lip to curl. Reed had once declared that I put the sun in his sky.

And that morning, I had taken it away. Oh, the irony of life.

My shoulders dropped as I slid both Reed’s image and his special words into a drawer before lowering myself onto the chair.

As I gaped, wide-eyed at my reflection in the Hollywood-style mirror, I hardly recognized myself.

I looked pale, and my eyes had visible bags beneath them.

Even my hair lacked luster. No wonder my esteemed fiancé Jasper had spitefully commented on my appearance at the club.

When didn’t he? Although he was usually full of compliments. But not that day.

Nope, Jasper Dean Remmington the Third was a shrewd man.

He knew exactly whom I had been seeing and why I looked so fraught.

I was an emotional and physical wreck. I had promised Jasper that I would end things with Reed.

And I had stuck to that promise. The man I was being manipulated into marrying had given me no other choice.

I wondered what my father would say if I told him what Jasper was doing to me.

“It’s time to pay our dues, Storm. We’re committed now.

We both signed the marriage agreement. Our families have expectations, and we cannot let them down.

I gave you some freedom, and now you have had your fun.

End things with Loverboy Prescott, or I will personally ensure he never gets near the NFL. ”

At first, I wondered if the threat to Reed’s probable future football career was physical, but Jasper mercifully set me straight.

“I am not an animal, Stormy.” I hated that pet name for me.

“I wasn’t suggesting broken legs or anything so extreme.

My father has several favors to call in with the League’s Commissioner.

One word from me, and Reed Prescott’s career will be over before it’s even begun. ”

Jasper’s ultimatum had forced me to do that one thing I had never done before.

Behave selflessly and put someone else first. If I didn’t sacrifice myself and fall into the hands of what was essentially a business arrangement, Reed would suffer.

Everything he had worked hard for would be ruthlessly pulled out from under him, and I couldn’t let that happen.

I had read in my latest psychology textbook how altruistic acts are supposed to make you feel good. So why did I feel like I was dying inside?

Because Reed filled that void in your life, and no one else ever will.

My internal monologue wasn’t doing me any favors, and I knew I needed to get a grip.

Pushing to my feet, I narrowed my eyes at the drawer where I had buried Reed’s picture and poem. Would out of sight, out of mind work when it came to the man you were in love with?

My cell went off from where I had left it charging on my nightstand, and I walked over, fiddling with the cable.

I needed a new phone. The charging point was faulty, and the battery was still showing critical.

Sweeping my thumb across the screen, Reed’s name appeared, causing a wave of adrenaline to tear through me.

Holding the phone up to my face, it unlocked, and I nervously opened the message. My heart was racing in my chest. I felt sick and excited at the same time.

If you come to your senses and decide not to throw us away, I’ll be waiting. You know where. Midnight tonight. If you don’t come, I’ll do what you asked and walk away. For good this time. My flight leaves at two. R.

Palpitations exploded through my chest.

Lowering the phone, I checked the time. It was already after eleven.

My entire body started to shake as I paced the floor in my bedroom, re-reading his message several times. I was torn, my heart beating so hard I was surprised it didn’t burst through my rib cage.

All my hopes, dreams, and fears raced through my head.

Maybe we could run away together? That one wish, which had rotated around my mind like a broken record, appeared again, but I knew it was hopeless.

We were both at college and had no money.

I didn’t come into my trust fund until I was twenty-five. How would we live?

Reed was already packed; his foster sister Harper had messaged me earlier.

Molly had also texted me. I knew all my friends were trying to fix things for us.

The girls had wanted to warn me that Reed’s original coach had been canceled, and so he would have to take the red-eye: an overnight flight that would transport him across several states and into New Jersey.

Reed had won a football scholarship. It covered all his fees.

He had been given an amazing opportunity to attend one of the country's best elite sports colleges.

I needed to see him before he left. I couldn’t leave things the way I had at the beach. Jasper’s relentless calls to my cell had ruined my last moment with Reed.

And say what? Stay with me and ruin your life in the process?

Fuck!

Nothing made sense apart from that pain inside me that I knew could only be stopped by speaking with Reed that night.

Maybe I could explain the situation? As things stood, Reed didn’t know anything about Jasper’s threatening ultimatum.

I had dressed up our breakup as an ‘it would never work: we are from two different worlds’ scenario—utter bullshit, of course.

I didn’t care that Reed was a social services boy who had nothing; he was twice the man Jasper would ever be.

Unplugging my cell, I grabbed my purse and scrambled to find my car keys. I knew I was over the limit for driving, but I didn’t have time to arrange for Jacob, Daddy’s driver, to come and get me. To catch Reed, I had to leave immediately.

My fight-or-flight response kicked in.

Bursting out of my room, I hit the stairs running, adrenaline rushing through my limbs. I didn’t even know what I would say when I got there; I just needed to be near him. When I saw Reed, I would know, I told myself.

The rain hit my skin as I left the house, pressing the button to unlock my new sports car, a gift from Jasper. Ironic, I know.

Climbing behind the wheel, I fired the engine. Water poured from the sky, hitting the windshield like bullets. I turned the vehicle in the yard and activated the electric gates that led out of our estate.

Checking the time on the dashboard, I hit the accelerator and powered down the driveway and out onto the street.

The weather was affecting visibility, but due to the time, the roads were quiet.

I’m coming, Reed, please wait for me. There’s so much I need to say.

Those three special words had been on my lips for weeks, yet I had never said them. Reed didn’t know how I truly felt. And he should know, my feelings for him were beautiful and raw: the real deal.

I love you.

The wind howled, reminding me of Reed’s wolf tattoo as the rain pelted the roof of the car.

I swerved the wheel to miss a tree branch in the road, and my bag slid across the seat and into the passenger footwell.

Holding the vehicle steady, I leaned over to grab my purse, sliding out my cell with my free hand.

A lump formed in my throat. I was going to be late, and I would miss him. Then he’d leave, never knowing how I truly felt.

Call him!

A car horn blared out as I turned a sharp corner, my focus half on the road and half on my cell as I found Reed’s number. The wave of endorphins I was riding made my movements erratic, as did the whiskey I had downed.

At that point, several things happened simultaneously: my thumb hit the call button, the battery on my cell died, and the car skidded.

My body was jolted in the seat, my head cracking the offside window.

Pain shattered through my skull as I pumped the brakes and attempted to claw back control.

A scream erupted from my chest as the wheel was ripped from my hands and the Audi RS 3 careered off the road.

There was a high-pitched, drawn-out screech from the tires and the noise of crunching metal as my seat belt jarred into my shoulder—and then there was nothing.

Nothing but pain, darkness, and a suffocating silence.