Diary #15
Dear Mom,
It’s been a long time since I thought about my future. For quite a few years, it was hard enough to make it to the next day, and the future seemed too far away.
But now, it’s something I can’t seem to stop thinking about. Maybe it’s because it’s not guaranteed, and that’s even more apparent as we face Agonizer, so my brain is like, what if? Perhaps it’s a coping mechanism, so I don’t get too bogged down in the scary.
So, what do I keep thinking about?
A cozy little house with lots of yard space. I want it full of animals, from cats, dogs, and chickens to pigs. I want a field of sunflowers and a house with enough rooms to have our space. A garage for Grayson, a training space for Brooks, an art studio for Bubba, and a gym for Maddox. I want a closet the size of a room, a clawfoot tub, and a dance studio. I want a bed big enough for all of us but also with individual spaces so we can have our alone time. A kitchen with an oversized island and a big window overlooking the backyard. A dining room table to seat all our friends and an outdoor space with a hammock.
And in a few years, mini versions of me and the men I love. Our place will be full of love and laughter. I can see it all. Even the Mavericks will come to visit. Tiny and Mac. Kiki and Saucy. Even Dad.
It’s a beautiful dream. I hope it doesn’t stay that way.
Love,
Darcie