23. Lights Out
Chapter twenty-three
Lights Out
Monique
The rest of the night was laden with an emotional heaviness that hung in the room’s space like a dense fog. Lei had agreed to the deadly battle with his father—a grueling confrontation scheduled in eight short days.
The gravity of his decision—the potential outcomes and implications—left us both mute as we prepared for bed.
And I’m Leo’s honorary guest? What the fuck does that mean?
One by one, Lei and I went into the bathroom to do the usual nighttime ritual—put on pajamas, wash face, brush teeth, etc.
The whole time we did so in silence.
A few times I glanced his way. Each time, his eyes held this distant glaze over them as if he were lost in a sea of thoughts that I could never comprehend.
Once we were ready, Lei hit the light switch, casting our room into an impenetrable darkness.
Faint moonlight filtered through the window.
He got in bed and placed his back my way.
Should I say something?
Nervous, I slipped into bed and faced his way.
I surely didn’t have sleeping in the same bed with a stranger on this year’s bingo card. To be in bed with someone was such an intimate act. And here we were. . .immediate bunkmates.
This should have shot me out of my comfort zone, but I actually experienced this sense of complete relaxation being near him.
Still, minutes passed in this unnerving silence.
I struggled with what I should do.
Should I utter some word of reassurance? What did someone say to a person who had to kill their father? Hope you. . .do a good job murdering the man that gave you life? Hope you feel better when you slice your father’s neck?
I wanted to offer him solace, comfort, anything to anchor him in the violent storm that was surely brewing within him.
Unfortunately, words eluded me.
Maybe, I shouldn’t say anything at all.
I knew Lei had a world of thoughts to grapple with. Surely, he was grappling with what he would do for the battle ahead.
But his silence clawed at my heart.
After a few more quiet minutes, I wondered if he was asleep, but the steady rise and fall of his back told me otherwise.
Alright. Just check on him. That’s it. If he is fine. . .then go to sleep.
“Lei?” I whispered and reached out to touch his muscular arm.
He didn’t respond, but I felt his body tense beneath my touch.
“Are you. . . okay?”
Silence served as my only reply.
Maybe he is asleep.
Right as I began to move my hand, Lei caught my fingers, placed them right back on his arm, and then rested his hand on top of mine.
“I just. . .” I swallowed. “I just wanted to see if I can help in anyway.”
His hand—roughened probably from years of combat—squeezed mine in quiet appreciation. The warmth of his touch seeped into my skin.
His voice came out in a soft whisper. “What do you think happens after a person dies?”
Oh.
I took a deep breath, weighing the words that were about to leave my mouth. “I believe death isn’t the end, but of course I don’t know.”
He slowly rolled over to face me, forcing me to move my hand. A slant of moonlight highlighted the side of his face. “Then, you believe in heaven or something like that?”
I placed my hand on the side of me. “I’m not sure about heaven. Sometimes I think God is not a man in the sky, but more this limitless being and. . .”
“And?”
“Ours souls are eternal and maybe. . .every life we live is a new journey. But don’t take my word on it. I’m still figuring it all out.”
Lei went silent for a moment and then he sighed. “I was raised with the Chinese view of death. The belief in an afterlife, ancestors, spirits. But I’m not sure. . .not anymore. Like you said. . .I’m still figuring it out.”
I considered what he had to do in eight days and sensed his inner turmoil. “Do you think. . .it is important to know about death because of the battle?”
“Because of everything. Because of my father’s yearning to die. Because of. . .Chanel’s recent death and even Romeo’s. I wonder where they are. . .I wonder if. . .she is watching. . .”
Sadness washed over me.
Slowly, I placed my hand on his chest and felt the strong and steady beat of his heart.
Lei lowered his gaze down to my hand as it rested on his chest. “Because maybe. . .death defines how we live.”
“H-how?”
He answered, a tinge of urgency creeping into his voice. “If we believe in an afterlife, a reincarnation, or an eternal soul, it shapes our actions, our morality, and our very purpose in life. Especially, if we fear death.”
“You could be right. Our fear of death and other’s deaths could shape our lives. But maybe. . .”
“Yes?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t let the fear of the unknown dictate our actions. Whether we reincarnate, move onto heaven, or simply cease to exist, our focus should be on living this life, right here and now, to the fullest.”
Lei remained silent for a moment and then whispered, “I agree, but. . .”
I quirked my brows.
“How would I live my life to the fullest in these next days?”
“Do whatever you want to do, Lei? Sure, you are the Mountain Master, but you are also a man that is utterly heartbroken by Chanel’s death. And. . .” I swallowed. “You are also a son, suffering from the future death of his father. What do you want to do?”
“End this.”
“And how do you want to end it?”
“By killing my father.”
I shivered. “Do you think you can?”
“I do, although he won’t make it easy.”
“And. . .” I sighed. “Do you think you would be mentally okay after killing him?”
“Monique, I stopped being mentally okay the day I saw Chanel’s corpse in front of me.”
My bottom lip quivered. “Then, how can I help you?”
“You know how.”
“Stay by your side?”
“Until it’s done.”
“I promise. We are in this together, even if. . .I have to go into the ring with you.”
A sad chuckle left him. “That would be suicidal.”
“Well. . .I didn’t say I would be fighting.”
He raised his hand to mine as it lay on his chest and tenderly rubbed my fingers. “Thank you for being with me, even though I’m forcing you to do it.”
“You’re not forcing me, Lei. I want to be here. I need your closeness as much as you need mine.”
“Do you know what?”
I blinked. “What?”
“I wish we met in another life.”
“Why?”
Sighing, he placed his hand on the side of my face.
My heart pounded.
“Because. . .”
I parted my lips, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
Then, without saying anything else, Lei leaned forward.
I inhaled sharply.
Every nerve in my body quivered.
Heat surged through me.
“Because in this life, I could never be the man you truly deserve. . .” His lips brushed mine in a feather-light kiss. “Especially after I kill my father.”
Before I could reply, he captured my mouth.
Our tongues connected and a jolt of electricity vibrated through me.
He groaned into my mouth and I came undone.
Just like before, he had me boiling hot and unbearably needy for more.
An emotion I couldn’t name swept through me.
Before I knew it, I was on my back and he hovered over me, devouring my mouth some more.
“Monique. . .” he groaned again in between kisses.
His erection pressed against my thigh, and it was hard, thick, and ready.
My senses went into overdrive.
He left my lips, and with his tongue, he traced a line of fire down my jaw and over my neck.
I writhed beneath him, but he held me firm. “Lei. . .”
Groaning, he returned to my face and gazed at me. “I should be asleep. I have a long day tomorrow. Chen will wake us up before the sun rises. Duck and Hu will beat me up until the sun sets.”
Panting, my chest quickly rose and fell.
“But. . .I don’t want to go to sleep.” He slipped his gaze down my body. His voice grew deep and hoarse. “I want to take out all my anger, my confusion, my sorrow on your body.”
“I-I’m totally fine with that.”
Although it was dark, I could see the wicked smirk spreading across his face.
“Monique?”
“Yes.”
“Tomorrow, we will need to discuss the rules for our comforting each other.”
My voice was an impatient whine. “Tomorrow?”
He cleared his throat, left me, and rolled onto his back. “Tomorrow.”
I gritted my teeth. “But. . .”
Monique, he has a lot on his mind. Stop being greedy.
Lei snaked his arm around me and pulled my body close to him, causing me to have no other place but his muscular chest to lay my head. His heart beat a steady rhythm in my ear. He slipped his fingertips along my bald head. Shivers ran through me.
He whispered, “But what, Monique?”
I wanted to say that I was wet , and he was hard . There was no need for any damn rules or conversation tomorrow.
It was time to get to fucking tonight !
But I felt completely uncomfortable saying that to him. And if I wasn’t comfortable with telling him a few sentences, there was no need for me to get naked.
“Never mind. Maybe. . .you are right.” I took a deep breath. “Goodnight, Lei.”
“Goodnight, beautiful.”
I blushed like a teenaged girl talking to her crush.
He slipped those fingertips along my head again and then rested them possessively on my neck.
I moved closer, pressing my body against Lei’s. My chest rose and fell in rhythm with his.
I think his dick is pretty big.
I closed my eyes.
Stop thinking about it, Monique. Just stop it. Get some rest.
In moonlit silence, we stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, two strangers holding each other, lost in the abyss of sorrow and vengeance, bound by the relentless ties of fate.
Soon, sleep tugged at the corners of my consciousness.
I drifted off to sleep, cocooned in Lei’s embrace, and I knew I was safe.