Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Tanner
Iwent to Holly’s contact in my phone and tapped the screen for what felt like the millionth time. Just like all the times before, it went straight to voicemail.
The knots in my stomach twisted tighter every time her cheerful, melodic voice came through, asking me to leave a message.
I glanced at the clock on the mantel again. Holly was supposed to have been here over an hour ago for dinner, but she never showed and wasn’t answering her phone.
I couldn’t keep my concern at bay. A thousand different scenarios played through my head as I paced the floor like a caged animal, each one worse than the one before.
Was she ghosting me? Had she been in some sort of accident?
Is she in the hospital, hurt? And if so, would anyone bother letting me know?
I couldn’t stay still for more than a handful of seconds at a time. When it all became too much, I did a quick Google Search for her store and pulled up the phone number.
My heart felt like it was lodged in my throat as I waited for someone, anyone, to answer.
“One More Chapter,” a bright, chipper voice said into my ear. “This is Cara. How can I help you?”
I fisted my free hand, flexing and unflexing my fingers. “Yeah, hi. Is Holly there?”
“No, I’m sorry. She actually left a while ago. Is there anything I can help you with?”
It felt like my lungs were being squeezed in a vise. “Uh, no . . . thank you.” I hung up and dropped my arm to my side like the phone in my hand was too heavy to keep up.
“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself, then I stomped through the living room and into the kitchen, snatching my keys off the island and rushing out the door to my Range Rover.
I managed to shave a couple minutes off the drive time from the cabin on the outskirts of town to the shop in downtown Hope Valley.
I didn’t bother parking out front since she wasn’t at the shop. Instead, I drove around to the back alley. The sight of her SUV parked in its normal spot only made my concern grow.
I killed the engine and climbed out, my long legs eating up the distance to the back door in no time.
Holly had given me the code to the back door the week before, and I didn’t hesitate to key it in.
As soon as the door buzzer sounded, I grabbed the knob, jerked the door open, and rushed up the stairs.
Please let her be here. Please let her be all right.
As soon as I hit the landing, I pulled a steadying breath into my lungs before slowly blowing it past my lips, using the same breathing exercises I did every time I stood in the crease.
It usually helped center me, to get my mind right and my focus on the puck, but right now, I needed to calm my racing heart.
I rapped my knuckles against the wood of her front door. “Holly?” I called out after a few seconds with no answer. I counted five heartbeats before knocking again. “Sunshine, it’s Tanner. You here?”
I reached for the knob and tested it with a small twist. It turned with no problem, and I slowly eased it open farther.
I leaned past the threshold, unable to see anything through the pitch black.
I was a few steps into the apartment when Holly’s strange looking cat appeared in front of me, letting out that short, quiet meow.
He wound around my feet, headbutting my ankle and demanding affection. I bent and gave him a scratch between his ears. “Hey, buddy. Is your momma around?”
He let out another meow, then moved deeper into the apartment, looking back at me like he expected me to follow. Which is exactly what I did.
The sun had gone down outside, so there was nothing but the faint glow of the streetlights below filtering through the large windows on the far wall.
I moved through the space, following Yoda through the living room and into the bedroom. There was just enough light coming through the bedroom windows to make out the person-sized lump in the middle of the bed.
I rushed over, bending over the bed and placing my hand on her shoulder. “Holly? Baby?”
She let out a pained whimper that gutted me. “Tanner?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s me. Are you okay?”
She shifted her head on the pillow and cracked one eye partway open. “Wha—”
“You haven’t been answering your phone,” I whispered. “I was worried when you didn’t show up and I couldn’t reach you.” I reached over and brushed her hair back, noticing the clamminess on her skin. “Are you sick, Sunshine?”
She let out a little moan and slammed that one eye shut again, like she couldn’t stand for it to be open, even that little bit. “Migraine.”
My stomach sank at that single word. “Christ, baby. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” I asked, making sure to keep my voice low so I wouldn’t cause her any more pain.
“Pills. In the medicine cabinet.”
“I got you, baby. Don’t worry.” Determination coursed through my veins. I was going to take care of her. And I wasn’t going to leave her side until she was better.
Holiday
I woke up slowly, my brain feeling sluggish and my body feeling like I’d fallen out of a tree and hit every damn branch on the way down. That was how it usually went after a bad migraine. It usually took me a few days to get back to rights.
I took my time waking up all the way, stretching out my stiff limbs and slowly pushing up to sitting. I had no idea what time it was, but the sun was filtering through my window, the pale purple and pink of the sky indicating it might be early morning.
A sound from outside my bedroom caught my attention and got me moving.
Shoving the covers off, I climbed out of bed.
My legs wobbled slightly, and I gave myself a moment for my equilibrium to kick in.
Once I was steady on my feet, I opened the bedroom door and stepped out to find Tanner in my living room.
He was moving around the space, cleaning up the rest of what I couldn’t the night before. Yoda dogged his steps, letting out those adorable little honks I loved so much.
“No, buddy. I told you, you can’t go in there. We have to let Momma sleep, she’s not feeling good. You can see her when she wakes up.”
Things from the night before were hazy, but seeing him started to clear the picture from the night before.
I remembered Tanner coming into my bedroom and finding me curled up.
He’d stayed this whole time, taking care of me, alternating between warm and cold compresses for my head.
He even massaged my shoulders and the back of my neck to try and ease the tension.
“I’m awake. And you’re cleaning?”
Tanner’s head whipped around. Relief flashed across his expression, followed by a brilliant smile that made my belly feel warm and fuzzy. At the sound of my voice, Yoda came running over, butting up against my leg affectionately, like he was just as relieved as Tanner to see me.
“Hey.” He looked around the space like he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it. “Oh, yeah. There was some broken glass and stuff. I didn’t want you to cut yourself.”
A pit formed in my stomach, and for the first time since I started this thing with Tanner, I lied. “Oh, yeah. I was a little unsteady when I got home. Bumped into stuff but wasn’t feeling up to cleaning it up.”
He moved to me, gently taking my cheeks in his hands. A crease formed between his brows as he studied me, scanning every inch. “You okay, sweetheart?”
I reached up, wrapping my fingers around his wrists and holding tight. “You stayed,” I said in a whispered voice. My chest suddenly felt too tight, like there wasn’t enough room to contain my swelling heart.
“Of course I stayed.” He said it so easily.
Like it was expected, the least he could do.
The last time I’d been watched over like this had been when I was still a kid living at home.
Tanner didn’t understand how much it meant to me that he’d stayed.
That he’d taken care of me. To me, it was everything. “I wanted to help.”
He rested his palm against the side of my neck and swept his thumb right below my bottom lip.
That was becoming my favorite caress. I loved when he held me that way.
It made me feel special. Like I really meant something.
“I hated seeing you in pain.” His gaze grew tender, that beautiful amber warming like they were sunbaked. “I care about you, Sunshine.”
That was the moment I knew I was screwed, because I’d gone and fallen in love with a man I couldn’t keep.
I swallowed down the lump of emotion that swelled up in my throat. “I care for you too,” I replied, using a different four-letter word than the one I truly meant. “Thank you so much for staying and taking care of me.”
He reached up with his other hand and feathered his fingertips along my hairline, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. Concern flashed over his handsome face. “You okay?”
I smiled up at him. “Yeah, honey. I’m a lot better.”
He didn’t look like he believed me. “You sure? You’re still a little pale.”
God, this man. “That’s normal. It usually takes a couple days to get back to rights fully.”
His frown deepened. “Does this happen a lot?”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug. “Not a lot, but regularly enough that I have a prescription for it. Yesterday was a bad one. Usually I can read the signs and I know when to take a pill, but yesterday got away from me and I wasn’t able to take it in time.”
“You don’t keep your meds on you?” That frown morphed into a glower, and it almost looked like he was mad at me, and I had to clamp my lips between my teeth to keep my smile at bay.
“No. Because like I said, it doesn’t happen a lot.” I reached up and rubbed at the pinched skin between his brows. “You can go ahead and wipe that grumpy look off your face. It’ll give you premature wrinkles.”
“I don’t care about wrinkles,” he grumped. “I really hated seeing you hurting like that. I don’t think I could handle seeing it again.”
My heart squeezed, and I felt another piece of it break off and fly to him. If he kept going like this, he was going to have all of it. “Well, pain is a part of life. I’m pretty sure you know that, Mr. Hockey Star.” I cupped his cheek. “But this, right here, it means a lot to me.”
“Sunshine, if you haven’t noticed already, you mean a lot to me.”
Oh yeah. I was sunk for this man for sure. And I wasn’t sure there was any way I could protect what was left of my heart from being crushed when he finally left.