Chapter 4 Abbey
The rumble of approaching motorbikes draws my attention out the window, and I shift closer to see Smitty at the front of the pack as they ride in.
What are they doing here? They’d better not be here to drag Ringo away on club business. That’s all I need right now.
I watch the leather-clad men park their bikes and tug off their helmets as my husband comes into view, walking across the yard to meet them.
God, just the sight of him has my cheeks heating, momentarily pushing past the churning anxiety nearly crippling me this morning.
Last night, he pushed my boundaries again. In the best way. It’s such a thrill to give myself over to him. To trust him with my body and know he’s going to make me feel things I never imagined existed.
Just remembering how I felt when I agreed to let him do that with his finger… it felt freeing. It was my choice, yet at the same time, he had control over how my body responded.
I’m not sure I’ll ever truly understand the whole submissive nature I fall into, but I don’t hate it like I used to, and I have my husband to thank for that.
Watching him from above now has my chest warming as he greets his club brothers and they all start chatting.
Even though he’s giving them his attention right now, I’m still the one on his mind, which I know because his eyes drift up to the window of his suite, landing on me like he knew I was watching.
Then he winks.
I don’t know how well he can see me, but I smile for his benefit, just in case, and when his attention turns back to Smitty, my shoulders drop as my anxiety slams back into me.
Shit.
I should feel happy, right? My little girl is alive. Or at least I think she is. Unless Daniel was able to somehow create fake messages and images, which, let’s be honest, in this day and age is highly possible… but something inside me is screaming that this is real.
So why am I filled with nothing but dread?
“Abs?”
I spin at hearing Tahli’s voice to find her at the mouth of the hall that opens up into the small living area in Ringo’s suite.
It hasn’t been long since she’s been here with us, but she’s already putting on more weight and looks healthier.
“Hey, Chook. What’s up?”
My little sister opens her mouth to speak, but then snaps it shut, and I hate that so much. I hate that she’s struggling to speak to me.
“Are you angry with me?” I ask, and her brows shoot up before she shakes her head.
“No, never.”
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” I ask, taking a step closer. “Even if it’s something you think I won’t like.”
Her lower lip starts to wobble then, her eyes flooding with tears, and the moment I open my arms wide, she runs and crashes to my chest.
“Shhhh.” I coo, stroking her hair as she falls apart, all while fighting back my own tears. “It’s okay, Chook. I got you.”
I realise I just said the words Ringo has said to me so often. Is this how he feels when he’s consoling me?
Helpless?
“I’m scared.” Tahli cries into my chest, and I squeeze her tighter, hoping it will make her feel safe somehow.
“You’ve been through a lot. It’s only natural to be scared, but I promise, you’re safe here.
” I try to reassure her, running my hand up and down her back.
“I know that guy nearly got to you, but the fact is, he didn’t.
The men here protected you. Lans and Millie protected you.
Everyone here only wants to keep you safe. ”
I still can’t believe one of the thugs desperate to kidnap her for Banes dug a bloody underground tunnel onto the property. That is totally wild to me, and I know it scared the hell out of her.
She nods into my chest at my words, hiccupping on a sob as she pulls back, and her big eyes peer up at me.
“I know I’m safe, Abs. I’m not scared for myself. I’m scared for you. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to you… you’re different now.”
My heart sinks.
She’s not wrong. I’m so different now, and I realise in her young innocent eyes, the change in me isn’t necessarily good.
“I know I am,” I admit, gripping her shoulders as I hold her far enough away that she can see my whole face.
“I’ve had to change to adapt to the situations I’ve been in.
I know I’m not as… nice. But I am stronger.
And right now, that’s who I need to be. Someone strong.
Who keeps fighting. Who won’t give up until the bad people pay for what they did to me. To us.”
Tahli bobs her head, her eyes dropping to my chest as her lip wobbles again.
“I know I shouldn’t… but I miss Dad.”
Jesus. My heart splinters open.
Does she know I was the one who gave him the gun?
“Tahli, it’s perfectly normal to miss Dad. Despite his flaws, he was our father, and we will always love him in our own ways.”
Those tear-filled eyes dart back up to mine. “He was weak. Why was he so weak? Why did he let Mum treat him like that?”
Sighing, I pull my little sister back to my chest in another hug. “I can’t answer that. I really don’t know other than that’s just who he was. Mum probably picked him because she could control him. Bitches like that don’t like to be told what to do.”
“Except by our grandfather.”
A chill ripples up my spine at Tahli’s words. “Yeah. Except by him.”
We hug each other for a few long beats before Tahli pulls back and swipes at her tears, her attention shifting to the window, and the men down below congregated outside the barn.
“Do you think I could have a motorbike one day?”
My brows shoot up at her words, and I dart my eyes to her as she stares in awe.
“Uhhh. No. Absolutely not,” I snap, and she rolls her eyes at me.
“I don’t think it’s fair that you get to use knives and guns and ride on the back of Ringo’s motorbike, yet I can’t have one of my own.”
“I’m older than you. And I didn’t choose to use those things, Chook. I’ve had to learn how to use them to protect myself, and you.”
She shrugs like that’s not the point, her eyes shifting to a couple of the younger club brothers who are clearly flirting with Alana as she carries out a tray of muffins for them.
“If I can’t have my own motorcycle, then I guess I’ll just have to marry a biker so I can ride on the back like you do.”
A strangled gasp falls from my open mouth as I balk at my little sister.
“Absolutely not, Tahli May Delany!”
She scoffs. “Don’t be such a hypocrite.”
I glare at my sister. “Who are you right now?”
“I’m the good sister, remember?”
A laugh bursts from my lips. “Good, but cheeky.”
She shrugs. “My thirteenth birthday is in a few months. Guess what I want for it?”
“I think I’ll regret this, but what?” I ask, and her smile tugs wide.
“When school opens back up…” Her eyes flick to me, bright and full of mischief. “I want Brody to take me to school on the back of his motorcycle so I can make Alice and Fiona jealous. And then also pick me up after school. For the whole term.”
“You are… evil.” I shake my head in disbelief.
“I’m the good kind of evil.” She shrugs. “Just like you.”
Well… she has me there, I guess.
“Whatever.” I laugh. “But Brody isn’t a patched member of the club yet.”
“He’s good looking and rides a motorbike. That’s all I need.”
I throw my head back laughing and chase Tahli, slapping her arse as she dashes for the door, and I hear her giggles all the way down the hall and on the landing as she rushes back downstairs.
I think I’ve somehow, without knowing it, created a monster.
Movement outside the barn snags my attention again, and I see Riggs step out, cleaning blood off his knuckles.
I guess he’s been working Daniel over.
Shit.
My heart sinks again.
Not because I feel bad for Daniel. There’s not a single part of me that does, but I do feel bad, and I realise it’s every time I remember that Daniel said Bobbi is still alive.
My chest burns, and I clutch it as hot tears start to pool in my eyes.
Bobbi is alive, so why aren’t I happy? Why do I feel more scared than ever?
Sucking in a few deep breaths, I force my tears away and give my face a little slap to help shake off this feeling.
Rolling my shoulders back, I head towards the door, forcing the thoughts away so I can focus on what needs to be done.
I have a doctor to visit and answers to get.
Downstairs, Alana’s voice is high pitched with excitement as she comes back inside with an empty tray, and Tahli stands at the windows watching the men.
Jesus, I think I preferred when her obsession was with Care Bears.
“Great. Thugs in leather.” Millie scoffs as she comes in from the back part of the house.
“I like the leather. I didn’t know there were so many of them though,” Tahli admits, and Alana giggles.
“Unfortunately,” Millie mutters, and Doreen tuts at her daughter.
“Don’t be so judgemental, Millie. Those men have had hard lives, and while they may not live the type of life that society considers as normal, they have done more good than bad as part of the club. Don’t forget what they did for you.”
My brows lift as I move further into the room, seeing Millie stiffen.
What did they do for her?
I want to ask but keep my mouth shut since it’s none of my business.
“Hey Abs?” Tahli asks, glancing over her shoulder at me like she already knew I was there, which informs Ringo’s sisters and mum of my presence. “Are they here to help you get Bobbi back?”
“They are.”
Ringo’s deep voice comes from behind me, answering my sister, and I swear just the sound of it has the tension leaving my body.
I turn to look at my husband, over six feet tall, muscles packed on top of muscles that strain underneath his black tee. His hair is tied back, but I already know that unless he’s getting on his motorcycle in the next five minutes, he’ll tug the band out and let his hair down.
I don’t know why he doesn’t just cut it. It annoys him to wear it down, but also annoys him to wear it tied back. It’s not like it’s a requirement to be part of the Southern Sadists. All the men have different hairstyles.
“Good morning, Angel.”
My lips lift at the smirk peeking past his beard.
“Good morning, Cam.”