Chapter 12 #2
“In the dungeon.” Jols gestures her head towards the shipping container that I know sits over the old Vixen’s Lodge Estate dungeon. The same dungeon I beat Wendy to a pulp in.
Flashes of my fist, encased in a metal knuckle duster, rush through my mind, and the feeling of it cracking against her cheek, tearing her skin open, sends a shudder through me.
Monster.
I can’t run from what I did. Who I became… who I’ve become.
“I want to see him,” I say quietly, watching Jols stiffen in my peripheral.
“Daniel?” she asks, like she’s hoping I’ll say no.
“I need to see him.” I shift my gaze to hers, catching the concern washing over her expression.
“Is this going to be a Wendy repeat?” she deadpans, and I shake my head, knowing deep in my bones that it won’t be… I think.
No… no, it won’t.
Monster.
“I need Daniel alive for now,” I remind her, and she shrugs.
“He’s not alone down there. Brody’s on watch, and Lewy is set up ready for when Daniel’s mum calls.”
“Oh…” My brows shoot up.
I hadn’t realised everything they were doing. I kind of thought he’d be locked in the dark, much like Wendy was.
Standing, I shoot Jols a reassuring smile that I don’t think works, and make my way across the yard, tugging my jacket closer to my neck as I walk, trying to keep myself warm.
When I reach the shipping container, I ignore the sign that says, Southern Sadists Only, and pull open the door, stepping inside.
Lewy is sitting behind a wall of monitors at the other end of the container, his gaze shooting to me as I close the door.
“Uhhh, you shouldn’t be in here.”
I smile, like I didn’t just hear him speak, and hurry to the ladder staircase that goes down under the earth.
“Ringo’s in church,” I say as I go, not really giving him an answer, and he curses, his chair scraping across the old timber floor.
“I can’t let you go down there.” His voice is loud now, and I glance up to see him at the top, glaring down at me, so I shrug.
“I just have a few questions for him. Which is my prerogative, since he’s my prisoner. Not yours.”
Lewy’s dark brows hitch, and he gives me a nod. “Best not kill him then.”
I roll my eyes and continue down. “Wasn’t planning on it.”
When I reach the bottom and glance back up, I see Lewy run his hand anxiously through his hair, but he doesn’t try to stop me, so I spin and face the door, which is ajar.
Tugging on the heavy metal, it creaks open, and Brody steps into view, his brows high, his eyes questioning.
“Don’t you start with me too,” I snap, and he holds his hands up in surrender, never looking more like his brother than in this moment.
“Hey, we’re all good. Just no killing yet. Ringo will literally cut my nuts from my body if I let that happen before you get your daughter back.”
I grin, stepping inside and pulling the door closed, and Brody shifts back to sit in a chair in the corner by the door.
I take in the space where I unleashed my monster on Wendy.
The only colours I see in my head when I think back over that time are black, white, and red. Lots of red.
Daniel is laying curled in a ball on the concrete floor along the back wall. He’s not asleep, though. His eyes, although swollen, are open, watching me as I approach, lowering to sit in the middle of the room.
For a long moment, we just stare at each other, and I hate that I feel bad for him. How could I after what he did to me with his friends? After the way he treated me at school. After the way he chased me through the forest, and pushed me, wanting to kill my baby. A baby that is potentially his.
My cousin’s.
My stomach rolls at the reminder that it was my cousin who took my virginity. My cousin, who wooed me, made me feel special, and wanted.
God, that seems like so long ago now.
But here he is, the guy that destroyed my life. He may not have known he was my cousin at the time, but he knew what he was doing when he agreed to have sex with me to help his family rise through the ranks of the church… the cult.
He knew what he was doing when he raped me. Shared me with his friends to rape me too. When he hit me. Choked me. Forced so much vileness onto me, so much that I can’t even bear to think of it.
“When did you know that your mum took off?” I ask, and he blinks painfully a couple of times before slowly pushing himself to sit up.
Clearing his throat, he rests his back against the wall, and answers.
“When we got back home from the Chapel… it was later that night,” he explains.
“At first, my dad and I thought she just wasn’t home yet, but then my dad came running out of their room, saying her clothes were gone, and we knew.
It wasn’t until she sent me that photo of her and Bobbi that I thought about the stuff we were hiding in our shed, and I found it gone. ”
Stuff?
Sitting taller, I ask. “What stuff?”
“Medical supplies.”
I stiffen, but it’s Brody that responds from behind me.
“Medical supplies? What sort of medical supplies?”
“Uh…” Daniel clears his throat again. “At first I thought it was just a heap of PPE and stuff, for the pandemic, but then I noticed some other stuff too.”
“What other stuff?” I snap, gaining his attention off Brody.
“Baby stuff. Nappies. Formula. And a humidicrib.”
“A humidicrib?” I squeak, glancing up to see Brody now standing next to me.
“You mean your old man was the one that stole from us?” Brody hisses, and Daniel frowns, shaking his head as his confused eyes dart from Brody to me.
“I-I don’t know. I have no idea where it all came from. It arrived in some trucks, and Dad had them put it in our shed. That’s all I know. I didn’t know there was baby stuff until I went snooping ages afterwards.”
“You get that, Lewy?” Brody asks, and I stand, frowning at him to see him talking into a radio.
“Yep, got it.” Lewy’s voice comes through the radio speaker, and I frown.
Glancing around, I see there have been some modifications done in the dungeon since the last time I was here.
There are cameras set up, their lights blinking, and I realise Lewy is recording everything.
“So you really don’t know how your dad got that stuff, other than some trucks dropping the supplies off?” I ask, and Daniel shakes his head.
“He just told me it was nothing for me to worry about, so I didn’t.” He shrugs, looking innocent and reminding me of the version of him I thought I loved.
Ew… I feel ill.
“What did your old man do when he discovered it and your mum gone?” Brody asks. “Did he call anyone?”
“Not that I know of.” He shakes his head. “I know he was worried about her. Muttered something about not wanting to dob her in, and as fucked up as he is, he loved her. He wanted to protect her. I know he was messed up with all the incest stuff, but he was a good man.”
I scoff. “He wasn’t a good man, Daniel. He was evil, and I killed him.”
I watch his reaction, but he simply nods. “I know.”
“You don’t care?” I ask, and he shakes his head.
“Nothing I can do about it now.” He shrugs, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to care pisses me off.
Why isn’t he crying? Screaming abuse at me for taking away his dad forever?
This won’t do at all.
“I can still hear his screams,” I snarl, curling my lip as I glare at Daniel, finally seeing a flicker of pain in his eyes. “Reliving them helps me fall asleep at night.”
“What’s wrong with you?” he cries loudly as a sob lurches from his throat.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Daniel. My eyes are wide open now. I’m finally who I’m meant to be.”
“This isn’t you,” Daniel seethes. “You’re a sweet girl. A mother. You have a baby to worry about now. Mothers don’t act like this!”
“And fathers don’t push the mother of their child in the hopes they will both die!” I scream, lurching forward, and loving how he flinches back.
My hand cracks across his face, and the sound echoes in the small space.
“She might not be mine!” Daniel cries.
“But what if she is? How will you walk away from that?” I fist the front of his grotty shirt, snarling in his face.
“I-I-I don’t know!” he yells. “Maybe I can be a good dad to her.”
I shove back from him, needing the space because the urge to kill him is so close to the surface that I know I won’t be able to talk myself down off that ledge if I get much closer.
“You? Be a good dad to her?” I laugh manically. “Let’s think about that for a moment, shall we?”
I start pacing in front of him, feeling Brody close by, but not looking to see exactly where he is, because my attention needs to be honed in on my cousin right now.
“Imagine Bobbi is yours,” I say. “Imagine she brings home a boyfriend when she’s seventeen. Imagine he coaxes her in and then betrays her by RAPING HER!” I scream, and his flinch is so satisfying, I almost start laughing again.
“Imagine he invites his friends to rape her too… while he watches,” I hiss, balling my fists, and fighting every instinct in me from finding a weapon and ending him right now.
“Imagine them tying her to a table, spreading her legs so wide she’s practically doing the splits, even though she’s not a FUCKING BALLERINA!
” I have no control as my mind goes back to that place.
The feeling of the ropes burning into my wrists and ankles.
The agonising burn of my muscles as they protested against the unnatural stretch.
The feeling of wishing I would just die, right then and there, so it would all just stop.
I can feel my fists hitting his face. I watch as he takes each hit, not cowering away, like he deserves the pain of each blow.
“Imagine her young, inexperienced body, open and exposed to them, while one fucks her painfully deep and hard, and another shoves his fingers inside her arse so brutally, she can feel his nails SCRATCHING INSIDE HER!”
I fist his hair, slamming his head back against the concrete wall, and still, he doesn’t fight me.
“Abbey!” I hear someone yell, but it’s distant. Not really here because I’m somewhere else.
I’m back there. On that day.
Just let me die.
“Imagine another with their dick so far down her throat that she fears her jaw is going to break, while she chokes on her own puke, fighting not to drown in it as her lungs protest, starting to SUFFOCATE!”
Strong hands wrap around me from behind, dragging me backwards, and I kick my legs out, landing a couple of blows into Daniel’s gut as I keep reliving that day.
“Imagine all of that happening to her, Daniel! Imagine it! And imagine while that’s happening, the other guys jack off all over her like she’s nothing but a piece of WORTHLESS TRASH!”
“STOP!” he finally screams back, and I shove at the hands keeping me at bay.
“Why, Daniel? Does that make you uncomfortable? It shouldn’t,” I snarl, my spittle flying from my lips. “You did that, Daniel. TO ME!”
“I-I—”
“Don’t you dare apologise!” I snap, kicking my legs out again, desperate to get my hands on him again. “You never cared about me, and I’m fucking fine with that. But imagine all of that being done to your DAUGHTER!”
“STOP! NO!” he screams.
The hands holding me suddenly disappear, and the cold metal of the knuckle dusters are pressed into my palm.
I don’t second guess it. I don’t even look to see who placed them there. I just slip them on like they were made for me, and the monster in me takes over, just the way it did with Wendy, although this time, the monster is in for a long, slow torture.
Taking my time, I feel the crack of Daniel’s rib cage, and with every hit, a slither of the horrible memories from that day is vanquished from my mind.
I could do this all day. Each blow a therapeutic release, but it’s the distant crack of a gun that snaps me out of my daze, and I turn to see Brody running for the stairs.