Chapter 20 ABBEY
I’ve come to learn that there are defining moments in your life. For me, a lot of mine have been horrific, but a few have been filled with happiness and love.
This, right here though, will be a moment that will be ingrained in my soul for eternity.
A beautifully momentous moment.
On shaky legs, I step into the room, not paying a lick of attention to Elizabeth. Not really even noticing Ringo. Because right now, in this moment, my eyes are trained on the little arms waving, and little feet kicking, as the sound of a small cry connects with my soul like it’s a piece of me.
I can’t see her face yet. But I don’t need to. I already know. I already feel it.
This is my daughter, Bobbi.
Slowly I approach the clear Perspex box-like crib, each step bringing me closer, each step showing me more and more of the little baby within it.
“I just dressed her so she can come out for her bottle,” Elizabeth explains, her voice grating on my nerves, but I don’t look at her. I don’t for a second take my eyes off the little baby with a dusting of white blonde hair and long dark lashes, much like mine.
“Oh my—” I sob, pressing my hand to my lips to stifle any more sobs that want to escape.
Rushing closer, I stare in at the little baby, who stops crying when she sees me, her dark grey eyes blinking as she starts to stare.
Everything comes rushing back.
That day in the forest. Feeling her leave the safety of my body to be placed on my chest. The cute little button nose. Her tiny head, covered in mucus and blood. The way she felt on my chest.
My little Bobbi.
My knees go weak, nearly giving out, but Ringo’s strong hands come out of nowhere, holding me up as I try to open the crib to get to my daughter.
“I don’t know how…” I sob, trying to figure out how to use the latch, and Elizabeth rushes in, her smile gentle despite the fact JD now has a gun trained on her, and she opens the crib for me.
“Caroline was warming her bottle in the kitchen,” Elizabeth rushes out, but I shake my head.
“No. I will feed her.”
“Of course,” she steps back. “I can get Caroline to bring in the bottle.”
Again, I shake my head, glaring at Daniel’s mum. “No. I will breastfeed her.”
Elizabeth’s brows shoot high, her mouth opening and closing, dumbfounded, and now, I give her my full attention as I stab a finger towards her.
“You may have stolen her, but I knew…” I punch the centre of my chest. “I knew deep in my heart that she was alive. I’ve kept up my milk supply for her, and I will be the one to feed her.”
Tears flow from Elizabeth’s eyes as she nods, stepping back, her hands raised as if she’s surrendering.
Later, she’ll learn that her surrender means nothing. But for now, I need to learn how the hell to breastfeed my daughter.
“Get her out of here,” Ringo barks to JD, who steps forward, pressing his gun to Elizabeth’s head, and she whimpers as she’s escorted out, leaving me and Ringo alone with Bobbi.
Suddenly, I feel out of my depth. How do I even do this?
“I don’t…” I trail off, looking to Ringo for guidance, even though he never had a moment to be a father to Hope.
His eyes are warm as he smiles softly down at me, his touch soothing, giving my arm a gentle squeeze in reassurance.
“I’ll lift her out. You take a seat.”
I nod quickly, not able to talk as I move to the armchair in the corner of the small room, and watch as my big, hulking husband gently lifts my fragile daughter from the crib.
My breath catches as I watch him with her. The hard stare he usually wears melts away, his face lighting up as he smiles down at the little baby, so tiny in his big strong hands.
“Hey there, little one,” he coos. “You want cuddles from your mummy?”
As he steps closer with her, I can’t help but stare at him and wonder if he’s actually a guardian angel, sent to protect me and my little girl.
“Here she is.” He smiles down at Bobbi. “Here’s your mummy.”
He shifts close, handing her to me, and I snap out of my awe and fall into a whole new daze as my hands finally hold on to my daughter for the first time since she was born eight weeks ago.
There are so many tears. I give up trying to stop them. There’s really no point. I’m completely overwhelmed, filled with joy that mixes with the heartache of knowing we’ve been kept apart for so long.
I didn’t come prepared for feeding, so Ringo helps me lift my hoodie and shirt, peeling down the cup of my bra to free my breast, and I spend a few anxious moments trying to get her to latch on, knowing she might struggle if she’s been bottle fed all this time.
Ringo helps me as much as he can, and after a few attempts at sucking, Bobbi finally latches and starts drinking from me.
I thought this would be more awkward. That I’d feel creeped out or something, given what Ringo and I have been doing since my milk came in, but it just feels so natural. Like I was always meant to do this. Like she was always meant to be mine.
“Shit.” Ringo chuckles, and I glance up to see his amused expression through the haze of my tears. “So that’s how it’s done.”
A laugh bubbles from me, and he grins, shooting me a wink and lowering to his haunches to sidle up close.
“Stop it.” I giggle. “Don’t make it weird.”
“Oh, this isn’t weird. Just you wait until I want my feed.”
I snort at his playful teasing tone, shaking my head as he looks at me and Bobbi with so much love.
He presses a kiss to my arm before reaching up and stroking his fingers down the side of Bobbi’s cheek.
I grin at how his fingers look ginormous compared to Bobbi’s. Everything about him now seems so huge and manly, because everything about her is so tiny and dainty.
We spend some time, just the three of us, feeding, and learning how to burp her. She gives me the gift of a dirty nappy, and I don’t even hesitate to change her.
Ringo spends some time holding her cradled in his huge arms, and I think I fall in love with him even more, for treating her just like a father should.
I don’t know who her real father is, and I don’t think I ever want to know. None of those predators matter. The only thing that does, is Bobbi, and the man holding her, willing to step up and be her dad.
When she gets sleepy, I’m not really sure what to do with her since she’s still technically, not full term, so Ringo helps me put her back into the humidicrib, and even though it’s hard to leave her, I need to let her sleep while I find out what the hell Elizabeth Stone intended for my daughter.
Out in the living area, we find Daniel huddled on the floor in the corner, and JD gestures to the other bedroom.
“The women are being watched in there,” he explains. “There’s been no mother and son reunion yet.”
“Good,” I snap, feeling the softness fall away as I gear up to deal with my daughter’s kidnappers.
Taking my hand, Ringo leads me into the room, and we find the two women bound by their wrists and ankles, sitting against the headboard of the double bed, with tape covering their mouths.
Shit. These guys don’t mess around.
“I need you to explain to me what the hell you were thinking by kidnapping my daughter?” I snap, and while Caroline rolls her eyes, Elizabeth starts trying to talk behind the tape.
Vender reaches over and tears the tape off, making Elizabeth gasp.
“I was only trying to protect her, Abbey,” she pleads. “From the cult. From the danger that follows you because of it. She was too fragile to move around too much, but we needed to get her somewhere safe, and as you can see, she’s been doing great. Growing fast.”
Elizabeth takes a deep breath, smiling around at everyone in the room like she’s some sort of saint.
“She’s due to come out of the crib this week. She’s a strong little girl.” Elizabeth’s lip wobbles as she starts to cry. “I just wanted to keep her safe… when I found out about what that church really was… what my husband had forced Daniel to do.”
“I get that you think you’ve done a good thing here,” I snap, feeling my anger bubble to the surface as I stare her down.
“And I appreciate you keeping Bobbi safe and looking after her. But the fact of the matter is, you kidnapped her. Made everyone, made me think she’d died.
Do you even know what that’s like, Elizabeth?
To lose a child? To feel your heart shatter? ”
She shakes her head, sobbing. “No… I…”
I feel different as I stand here staring at Daniel’s mum. Different from the girl who stepped into this house not that long ago. My monster is here with me. Not hiding. Not lingering in case it’s needed. It’s just here. A part of me. Mingling with the sweet version and creating something new.
I’m a mum now.
I have been for eight weeks, but the lioness in me has been dormant, lying in wait until this very moment.
She’s here now. And she’ll never leave again. Not while there is breath in my body will I ever let someone harm, hurt, or steal my child again.
“You will know that feeling, Elizabeth,” I deadpan, barely blinking. “You will know what it feels like to lose your child. To know they will never breathe again. Never laugh. Never hug you. Ever. Again.”
“Wait… no, please. I was just trying to keep her safe.”
“Were you even going to return her to me?”
She frowns, hesitating before she nods.
“Lie. That was a lie, Elizabeth.”
“No. No, I swear,” she pleads. “Once the bad people stopped chasing you, I was going to give her back.”
“No, you weren’t. STOP LYING!” I yell, and she flinches back, sobbing as she nods.
“Okay. Okay. I was going to raise her myself. Give her a good home and education. She’d be safe with me. I’d never let that cult get their hands on her. And Daniel—”
“Daniel, what?!” I yell. “You think he has a right to my child? He’s probably not even her father! And any father that would do what he did doesn’t deserve one second of that child’s life!”
“Daniel didn’t know what he was doing.”
I launch forward onto the bed, fisting the front of her nightgown and snarling in her face.
“HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING!”