Chapter 35 ABBEY
Ringo tells me to go to Bobbi while he cleans up the mess we made, so I do a quick bathroom cleanup and get dressed, racing downstairs just in time for the front door to open.
I see Alana and Millie step inside first as I hit the bottom step, and the moment Tahli steps in, I bolt to her.
Her eyes go wide as she sees me charging towards her, but she’s all smiles, rushing forward to meet me halfway, and we slam together in a tight embrace.
“Oh, you two are going to make me cry,” Doreen says as she steps inside too, and I look up to see her carrying my little bundle.
Bobbi.
A sob escapes me, and Tahli eases back so I can go to my daughter, and I don’t hesitate, hurrying closer to accept her from Ringo’s mother.
The next however many minutes are a whirlwind.
Nessy and Brody come inside, the two we charged to protect my little girl with their lives looking happy hand in hand, and I have to wonder what Vender and Mex will say about that.
I’m not sure what’s going on with the four of them, but whatever it is, they’d better do right by Nessy.
Bobbi immediately starts fussing in my arms, and I peel back the blanket to stare at her.
“Hey, little one. What’s the matter?”
“She’s probably hungry again.” Nessy steps up to peek down at Bobbi. “She’s due for another feed.”
“Okay, uhhh.” I look around at all the people, noticing Ringo isn’t down here yet, and decide there’s no way I’m getting my boob out to feed Bobbi down here in front of everyone.
I could feed her a bottle, I suppose, but my breasts are still pretty full since Ringo didn’t get enough time to have his fill.
She may as well have that, and I’m desperate to bond with her again.
The poor thing has been shuffled around from person to person since I came back into her life, and I want her to have more stability.
I want her to get to know me.
“I’ll just go upstairs and feed her,” I say, turning to Tahli. “I’ll be back down soon. We have some things to talk about.”
I have to tell her about Banes and Mum. About how Maggie is locked up at the compound. About how this nightmare is basically over.
There’s still a concern with Ian Allen, but no one has heard anything from him since the airfield, so with any luck, he bled out in the bushland surrounding the airfield and we’ll never have to see him again.
Tahli nods, stepping forward to press a kiss to Bobbi’s head, before I excuse myself and take my daughter upstairs.
“This is your new home,” I say to her in a soft voice, carefully taking each step up to the landing. “One day, when you’re older, we can go out to the pond and feed the ducks. I bet you’d like that.” I coo, smiling at her as she screws up her face, a small cry passing her lips.
“I know you’re hungry,” I say, stepping into Ringo’s room, our room, and finding him waiting in the living area.
“Is someone hungry?” he asks, and I smile.
“Someone is. Lucky you didn’t have too much before,” I say, blushing, and Ringo chuckles.
“Come and feed her in here.” He gestures towards the bedroom, and I frown, since the only place to sit and feed her in there is the bed, while out here there’s an armchair and a couch.
I mean, that’s totally fine, but sitting in a chair would be better.
Following him around to the bedroom, I’m not really paying much attention to anything but the bundle in my arms, so when I look up, seeing a hole in the wall, I freeze.
Wait… No, not a hole. A doorway that wasn’t there before.
“What…” I trail off, confused about what I’m seeing.
The huge framed mirror that was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall has been moved aside, revealing a door I didn’t know was there.
“Open it.” He grins, and I frown, so bloody confused.
“Has that always been there?” I ask, and he nods. “The whole time?”
He nods again.
“I should’ve told you about it sooner. I was going to surprise you with it after you had your baby, but none of that went to plan, and we thought she’d died, so I kept it a secret.” He rakes his hand through his hair, almost like he’s nervous. “I’m sorry, Angel. I didn’t want to upset you.”
I’m dumbfounded as I shake my head. “I don’t understand. Keep what a secret?”
Moving to the door, he turns the handle and pushes it open, revealing a short passage that opens into another room, and instantly, tears well in my eyes.
“Is that?”
He nods. “I had Mills and Lans clean it up and air it out when we went to South Australia to find Bobbi.” He gestures for me to step inside, so I do, rocking Bobbi as she starts to get more impatient for her meal.
It’s almost too unbelievable. There’s a room here. A nursery. Completely set up with a bassinet, cot, change table, an armchair and a bookshelf lined with teddies, toys and books.
I spin back to Ringo in disbelief.
“I don’t understand. This has really been here the whole time? What was it used for before?” I ask, sitting in the armchair when Ringo gestures for me to take a seat, and I give in, rearranging my top so I can get my breast out, and I start feeding my daughter.
The moment her cries cut off, and she starts drinking, relief washes over me, and I relax back in the chair a little more.
“This was meant to be for Hope,” he admits, and now I feel like crying.
Oh. My. Goodness.
This poor man.
My poor man.
“Shit, Ringo. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I—”
“Abs, stop. It’s fine. I’ve had a long time to get used to this not being for Hope.
I closed it off and never wanted to see it again until you came along.
” He smiles warmly down at me. “Then I knew, without a doubt, that this room was really meant for you to nurse Bobbi in. And maybe even a child of our own one day.”
Bending, Ringo brushes the back of his finger over Bobbi’s cheek as she feeds, looking down at her with so much love and care that it makes me want to cry.
“The furniture was originally for Hope, but all of the bedding is new. And the toys too. Some of them were from the chest.”
I scan the room again, finally recognising some of the things people gifted Bobbi at the funeral.
The books, a cute pink teddy, and a yellow rattle I remember were from Rhys and her guys. Jared and Dee too.
On the bookshelf next to the teddy are tiny pink ballet shoes, and perched behind them is the small white ukulele Lexi and Ayden gifted.
The trinkets and beaded jewellery the Doxies gifted are sitting on top of the chest of drawers, and on a hook next to the wardrobe, the Cinderella dress-up costume hangs.
There’s a small basket of toys off to the side, and I know a lot of that came from the Southern Sadists, the game of Twister JD gifted, sitting on top, and on the floor next to the basket, is the little pink motorcycle helmet Jols wanted Bobbi to have.
On the back of the door, I spot black leather hanging on a hook, and I frown, gesturing my head that way.
“Is that…?” I trail off, and Ringo nods, moving to it and taking it off the hook, holding it up for me to see.
It’s the black leather jacket Nate gifted Bobbi with the Southern Sadists logo on it, and the patch saying, ‘Little Princess Bobbi’ on the front.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want it. I can burn it if you like?”
I shake my head, my burning eyes flicking back to Ringo. “I know it was Nate that gave that to her, but I kinda feel like it really comes from the club. I’d like her to have it.”
With a warm, sympathetic smile, Ringo nods before hanging it back on the hook.
My eyes move over everything again… there’s so much here to take in, and one shelf on the bookshelf catches my eye.
The framed photo of us on our wedding day is angled in this direction, and the memory of that day we shared comes rushing back.
In the photo, I’m on Ringo’s lap, and we’re both laughing, looking at each other, my hand resting against the ivory satin stretched over the swell of my stomach, right where Bobbi was.
This was one of the gifts Ringo had for Bobbi. He gave me an identical one that sits right next to our bed.
My gaze drifts to the CD propped up next to the frame. The One Direction CD.
I smile wide as I gesture my head towards it. “Bobbi is going to love listening to that.”
Chuckling, Ringo moves across the room to the shelf, picking up the CD and staring at it.
“Maybe I should have burned it.”
“Ringo!” I gasp, and he grins, chuckling as he places it back on the shelf.
“I still can’t believe you played that teeny bopper shit to walk down the aisle to.”
“I found it quite fitting.” I giggle, and the way his lip quirks higher at one corner has me melting.
This man.
Reaching out, he picks something else up off the shelf, and I watch as he pops open the small velvet box.
Oh… the bracelet.
“It’s a little big for her.” He smiles, angling the open box my way so I can see the mostly silver piece of jewellery with gold detailing and the tiny silver and gold butterfly charms dangling at each end.
“She’ll grow into it before we know it.” I smile, and he nods, staring at it for a moment, his thumb grazing over the inscription of her name.
On the back of it, he had ‘Love Dad xx’ engraved on it. I’ll make sure she always knows just how special that bracelet is, because it’s more than a piece of jewellery.
It’s a declaration. One that melts my heart all over again.
“Are you sure about the room?” I ask, needing to make sure he’s not going to get triggered every time he steps foot in here. We can figure something else out if we need to.
Ringo’s smile is broad as he shifts his gaze between Bobbi and me.
“It’s actually cathartic to be in here again.
” He looks around the room that was originally meant for his daughter.
“When Hope died, I just closed it up and covered the access doors with mirrors. That way I could pretend there wasn’t even a room here.
But I want Bobbi to use this room. At least until she’s older, and then maybe she can have the one next to Tahli’s new room downstairs. ”
“You’ve thought of everything,” I whisper, feeling too emotional to speak too loud. “Thank you, Cam. I absolutely love it.”
He can’t seem to take his warm smile off his face as he moves to the door on the far wall, pulling it open. Behind it is some sort of timber panel, and he turns back to me.
“That’s another mirror, out on the landing. I’ll remove it later,” he states, turning to look back over the room. “But this is all yours now. All Bobbi’s. So you do whatever you want with it. I can paint it a different colour if you want or—”
“Cam. Stop. It’s perfect just the way it is. Way more than I could have ever given Bobbi by myself.”
He shifts nervously, hands in his pockets as his gaze drops to the floor.
“So… you’ll stay with me?” he asks, his eyes finally jumping up to mine.
Shit. Is my husband nervous?
“Cam, I—”
“Say you’ll let me love the both of you,” he stumbles forward, falling to his knees by my feet, his big hands coming up to grip my thighs. “I’ll fucking do anything to keep you, Angel. If you want to run, I’ll run. I’ll take my ma and sisters with us and we’ll leave this shit behind.”
Tears well in my eyes as I stare at him, taking in the desperation in his tone.
He really would do that if I asked him to. He’d leave the Southern Sadists. Go against the Marx family.
All for me.
“Cam, I’d never ask you to do that. I don’t want to do that. I want to stay here with you. I know we’ll have to live at the compound as well. But we’ll make it work. I don’t think it matters where we are just as long as we’re together.”
His shoulders drop, and his relief is written all over his face as he sighs and leans forward over the top of Bobbi, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I’m gonna give you the world, Angel.”
“You already have,” I whisper, closing the short distance to kiss him.
Everything has happened so fast. We’ve barely had time to let the events of the last few days sink in, but I never imagined my husband was feeling so concerned. Worried that I’d leave.
As we pull back from the kiss and stare into each other’s eyes, I realise I’m not the only one that’s changed this year.
He has, too.
I know he’s helped my heart heal in so many ways, but I realise now I’ve helped stitch his up too.
He’ll never get Hope back, but I’ll make sure she’s remembered.
I’ll tell Bobbi about her. That her big sister rests peacefully under the Jacaranda tree, and hopefully one day, I can give him a child of his own… one day.