CHAPTER 23
Yesterday had been such a whirlwind of a day that I was almost grateful when Graduation was over, only because it meant everything was done. No more big parties or birthdays or love confessions. I walked across the stage, took my diploma from my principal, and was finished.
In the audience, Destelle cheered for us the loudest.
Jamie and I found our group outside, where families were all gathering around their graduates for pictures. Destelle stood on top of a bench to flag us down, and when we got closer, we found a little gaggle waiting for us. Dad, Mom, and Destelle were there, along with Ms. Jennings and Beck.
It’d been less than twenty-four hours since he’d dropped me off at home, but my heart still swelled at the sight of him, especially since in his hands was a bouquet of roses.
“I know it’s ironic,” he murmured as he offered them to me, “but they were the prettiest at the store.”
“They’re perfect.” I wrapped an arm around him, careful not to stick him with the point of my graduation cap.
Ms. Jennings fretted her hands around her head, trying to tame her blonde flyaways. “This wind! It’s going to mess up my hair!”
“Let’s take a picture quickly, then.” I stretched my arm toward her. “While your hair still looks perfect.”
Ms. Jennings was easily flattered, sidling up beside me. “Jamie, get in here! I need a picture with my favorite twins.”
And then began the picture rotation, starting with Ms. Jennings, then Beck with Ms. Jennings, and then with my parents, and so on.
Destelle squeezed herself between Jamie and me, and I wrapped my arms around her, grinning for the camera Dad held up.
Jamie gave her ears with his fingers, which caused her to let out a little gasp when she realized.
It felt so normal, and natural, and perfect.
When it was time for just Beck and I to take a picture, he held onto my diploma with one hand and wrapped his arm around my back with his other. I had to bite down on a stupidly wide smile as I tucked close to him, holding the bouquet of roses, leaning in.
“I came home at just the right time,” Beck murmured while we got ready, lips barely moving. “I was here for all the big milestones.”
“Except for prom,” I returned, smiling for the camera. “Dancing with you would’ve been fun.”
Beck’s hand pressed firmer against the small of my back. He lowered his head toward me, words nearly lost in the breeze. “There’s still a club over in Bayview, right? We should go sometime.”
My wide grin popped out, imagining it. “Deal.”
“Smile!” Dad called, watching us through his phone screen.
As Jamie stepped up to take solo shots with Mom and Dad, my gaze caught across the grass. Lydia was there with her mother, and Mrs. Johnson was taking a selfie of them in front of the Cardale Preparatory sign.
I passed my bouquet to Beck. “I’ll be right back,” I told him, slipping through the crowd.
It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I couldn’t get the way Lydia’s face had fallen yesterday out of my mind.
They didn’t notice me until I was right beside them.
“Want me to take your picture?” I asked, already stretching a hand out for Mrs. Johnson’s camera.
Lydia’s expression was stiff. “No, that’s—”
“That’d be great, Eleanor!” Mrs. Johnson passed her phone over and then grabbed her daughter’s arm, hauling her close. “Come on, Lyd, we need one good photo of us.”
To Lydia’s credit, she smiled brightly for the photo for her mother, and I made sure it was a perfect picture. No sun glare, no one was blinking. Mrs. Johnson’s eyes were a little bloodshot, but her smile was sure, as was her arm on Lydia’s shoulder.
When I passed the phone back, Mrs. Johnson waved at me. “Now your turn, you two,” she insisted, getting her phone ready. “Big smiles!”
Lydia held still as I wrapped my arm through hers, leaning my head like we were close friends. Her perfume was sweet, a little overpowering, but it suited her.
“Mrs. Johnson, my mom’s over there if you wanted to go say hi,” I told her when we straightened from the photo, pointing in their direction. “I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
I actually wasn’t sure if that’d be the case or not, and I hadn’t totally been sure Mrs. Johnson would’ve wanted to see Mom anyway, but she still nodded. “Oh, yes, it’d be polite!” she mused, starting off in that direction.
Lydia stared after her mother, but didn’t move to follow. Her jaw was set. She knew what was coming before I even opened my mouth.
“I’m sorry about last night,” I began, tucking my hair behind my ear. “About everything with Carter.”
“You should’ve told me you didn’t like him romantically,” she muttered, still not looking at me. The tips of her cheeks were pink. “You should’ve told me you two were just friends.”
“If I had, would you have stopped wanting him too?”
Lydia’s mouth dropped open, as if she was about to fire off a response, but then she stopped. Snapped her mouth closed. Huffed through her nose.
I thought about the way she’d looked last night, when Carter had told his mother that he hadn’t wanted to date her or me or anyone.
Embarrassment had been there, and hurt, and disappointment, all on display for me to see.
“I’m sorry. It was mean to hold it over you like that.
” I drew in another breath. “And I never meant to make you feel bad about yourself, Lydia. I never meant to make you feel less than. Because you’re not. ”
Through it all, I’d thought Lydia had been the one actively trying to be better than me, but it was all because she thought I’d been the one trying to make her feel beneath me.
The day she’d come to my house, carrying a burnt pie and threats, had been her way of sticking up for herself.
Her way of standing up straight. Her own version of P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
“Everybody loves you,” she said, and finally turned to me. Her blue eyes were shimmering. “I thought if maybe I acted like you, people would love me too.”
“People will either like you or they won’t, but you always need to be yourself.” I patted her shoulder somewhat awkwardly, but still smiled. “I’d like to get to know her.”
For the first time, the smile Lydia gave me was genuine.
It was small, and shadowed by a redness in her eyes, but it was there.
Worlds different from the phony one she usually gave me, this one transformed her face.
I’d been going through a lot of firsts lately, and now it was the first time in my life I gotten close to Lydia without having any negative feelings.
The first time I felt like I was truly seeing her, truly understanding her.
“I’d always worried…” Lydia began, but then trailed off, clearing her throat. “My mom was out smoking the night of the rosebush fire. She used to throw her cigarettes in the bushes. She said she found you two in the garden, but I’d… always worried that…”
“It was me,” I told her plainly. “It was always my fault. Not Beck’s, and not your mother’s.”
I could see Lydia bite into her cheek, and I wondered if my words were a weight off her shoulders, or harder for her to swallow.
Even if her mother had thrown a cigarette into the rosebush, I’d still lit it on fire.
I’d already let one person carry the blame when he shouldn’t have—I wouldn’t let Lydia carry it now.
“You should come to my party tonight,” Lydia said, discreetly touching her eyes. “I’ve invited, like, our entire graduating class. You should come, too.”
“I’m sure Daisy will drag me along.” I glanced over toward my group, most half-hidden by my fellow graduates milling about and snapping photos, but through the thick of them, my eyes caught Beck’s.
He was watching Lydia and I with a calm expression, and when our gazes locked, he smiled at me.
“I have to ask. Did you poison that pie?”
“No.” Lydia barked out a surprised laugh. “But I did burn it on purpose.”
And now I laughed. Another first for us.
A few of her friends came up and asked for a photo, and I quietly slipped away. I understood her more now. And though I wouldn’t have called us friends, I knew we weren’t enemies.
Beck stretched his hand out to me when I got close. “Get a good photo?” he asked. His fingers wrapped around mine easily, as if they’d been itching to since I’d walked away.
I leaned into his side, soaking up his warmth. “I probably blinked,” I replied, taking off my graduation cap and stretching up toward him.
But Beck turned his face away. “Not in front of your parents.”
I glanced over. “My parents, who are talking to your aunt and Mrs. Johnson, and not paying attention in the slightest.”
“Your sister is, though.” Destelle stood off to the side with Jamie’s graduation cap on, stretching up to sling her arm around Jamie’s shoulders.
And Jamie, at her side, looked vaguely nauseous. “And so is your brother. Spell revolting.”
“I-M-M-A-T-U-R-E,” I spelled instead.
“Brightons!” Daisy hurried up to our group, her mom coming behind. Mrs. Carmichael held Theo’s little hand. Theo’s head was a flame of hair, even redder than Daisy’s. “I’ve been looking for y’all everywhere. You think it wouldn’t be hard to spot the Jolly Green Giant.”
Jamie’s eyes traced her. “All my height can’t help the fact that you’re nearly as tall as your brother.”
Daisy swatted at his shoulder, readjusting her white robe. Her red hair was bright against it, wavy and falling over her shoulders. “Destelle, could you take our picture?” She offered her phone out.
Destelle swapped Daisy Jamie’s cap for her phone, and Daisy stepped up to my brother. He ducked his head low, and she pushed her fingers through his hair before pulling the white cap over it. His eyes traced her face as she was focused on getting it straight, not blinking.
“All right,” Daisy murmured, flicking Jamie’s tassel before turning to me. “Smile big.”
Daisy hooked her arm through mine but rested her head against Jamie’s shoulder, the three of us smiling at the camera.
She was so much shorter than us, the top of her head only coming up to Jamie’s collarbone, and I squeezed her tight.
It was crazy to think we were moving into the next phase of our lives, but we were doing it together.
Beck stood just behind Destelle, looking at the phone screen, his lips tipped up into a small, unconscious smile. Daisy noticed at the same time I did. “Come on, Beck.” She flapped her hand that was threaded through my arm. “Boyfriends, too.”
Beck stepped around my sister to come back to my side, fitting there as if he were magnetized. His hand found my lower back again, and I leaned into him. Now it was perfect. “When’s the next convertible ride?” Beck asked Daisy.
She gasped, as if she’d only just remembered. “Soon.”
Jamie started taking photos of Daisy and Theo while Mom and Dad talked with Mrs. Carmichael, the sun creating a glow over the moment.
I shoved up before Beck had time to react, catching him off guard and kissing him. It was quick, and my heart barely had a chance to skip a beat before I was falling back off my tiptoes.
The tips of Beck’s ears grew red almost instantly, and his eyes darted to everyone who could’ve seen. He ducked his head, embarrassed, but murmured in my ear, “S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S.”
“You love it.”
“Yeah.” Beck lowered his head and voice further. “I do.”
He kissed me softly, and though it was chaste, I still melted into him, like the world immediately disappeared around us. Beck didn’t linger long, still too afraid of my parents seeing. Instead, he turned to kiss my cheek, then my temple, settling with pulling me close to him.
As I looked around at the faces of my classmates, some I’d probably never see again, I realized how content I felt.
Destelle was talking with Daisy, and Jamie was crouched down to help loosen Theo’s tie, and Dad was wrapping his arm around Mom’s waist as they chatted with Ms. Jennings and Mrs. Carmichael.
Everyone I loved was together, happy, and moving forward through life side by side.
“P-E-R-F-E-C-T,” I whispered to myself, in time with the thump of Beck’s heartbeat.
Beck kissed the top of my head again. “P-E-R-F-E-C-T.”