CHAPTER 5
The ride home from Lydia’s house was silent.
Nellie sat with her arms crossed over her chest in the passenger’s seat, and Jamie sat with his hands at ten-and-two on the steering wheel.
I was in the middle seat in the back, staring down at my lap.
The spot where Jamie had kissed my neck still burned like a brand, and my waist still tingled with the now-absent pressure of his hands.
My mind could remember it, though, in vivid and perfect detail.
The things I do for you, Daisy Carmichael.
At that exact moment, Jamie lifted his gaze in the rearview mirror, his eyes latching onto mine.
I jerked my head out of view, pressing a hand to my flaming cheeks.
Jamie eased into their driveway, parked the car, and cut the engine.
For a moment, the three of us just sat still, both Jamie and I waiting for Nellie to make the first move.
Actually, in fact, I’d let the twins take this one.
With their telepathy, surely they’d understand each other far better if I just butted out.
Except Nellie twisted in her seat, planting an elbow on the console between the front seats. “Explain,” she ordered me.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” Nellie raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like Jamie.”
“I don’t! Not—not like that!”
“And yet, what I saw was exactly like that! With your head back and your eyes closed—”
I slammed my hands over my ears. “Oh my God, stop, stop—”
“—and Jamie’s hands on your hips, and his mouth on your—”
“Nellie, please, just stop—”
“Exactly!” she shouted, and then whirled back to face her brother. “How long have you two been doing that behind my back? How long have you two been secretly—oh my gosh.” She suddenly groaned. “I’m going to be sick.”
Jamie’s hands were still on the steering wheel, fingers hooked around it loosely. His knuckles were not white, and his shoulders were not tense. In a steady voice, he told Nellie, “It wasn’t real.”
Nellie gave a sharp scoff. “Wasn’t real! Everyone at the party saw it, too, and it was very much real. A very real image I can’t get out of my head now!”
“We were pretending.” Jamie stared straight ahead at the closed garage door, almost eerily calm. “We were prepared for it.”
Uh, who was the we in his scenario? Because I was certainly not involved in that we.
I had not been prepared for him to grab me by the hips and hoist me onto the dresser.
I had not been prepared for him to nudge my knees apart and step between them.
And I had definitely not been prepared for him to tilt my head back and kiss my neck.
Five more seconds, and I would’ve kissed him. I knew that with absolute certainty.
And that absolute certainty freaked me out.
So, yeah. I had not been involved in that we.
“You were… pretending.” Some of Nellie’s raging indignation died down as Jamie’s quiet voice washed over her. “Pretending to look like a couple. You decided to try out fake dating.”
I stared at the back of Jamie’s head as he nodded.
Let me help you forget him.
Thinking about Dalton caused my stomach to tumble, but now was not the time.
“A heads up would’ve been nice!” Nellie smacked her brother on the shoulder. “‘Tell everyone there’s a couple kissing in the guest room’ isn’t exactly enough preparation!”
“That’s what you texted?” When Jamie had slid his phone out and texted something, I’d assumed he’d told Nellie to come upstairs—not to bring everyone else with her. “That was what your plan was?”
“I didn’t know how else to make everyone come.” Once more, Jamie lifted his gaze to the rearview mirror. “It worked pretty well, you have to admit.”
I immediately dropped my eyes again. I couldn’t figure out what emotion to feel—what emotion I should’ve felt.
I’d asked him to come up with a solution, so could I really be upset?
Really, I wasn’t upset. I was… something else.
My heart still beat unevenly, as if when he’d kissed me, an electrical current had really fried something in my nervous system.
“Hey, it was my idea,” Nellie told him, narrowing her eyes. “After the two of you talked crap about it. What happened to it being the worst idea in the history of forever?”
I opened my mouth, but Jamie beat me to it. “Dalton asked Daisy to forgive him,” he said. “He asked if she’d take him back.”
The cab of the car fell quiet, and embarrassment did a slow crawl through me. I didn’t even peek to see if the twins were exchanging a secret look.
“When did you talk to him?” Nellie asked me.
“At the party. He had a nosebleed, and I showed him the bathroom.”
“You should’ve told him to just bleed out.”
Well, I technically had, but I’d also nearly let him kiss me, so it kind of canceled out.
Nellie and Jamie exchanged another look. Normally I called them out on their twin speak, but this time, I didn’t want to hear their thoughts—I could already guess enough of it myself. Of course, he’d say that to her. He’s just trying to string Daisy along.
The worst part was that I knew that. I just couldn’t get myself to stop wanting it, and that was probably the most humiliating thing that’d happened tonight.
So I sucked in a breath, sitting forward between the seats.
“Everyone already thought we were a couple, you know,” I said brightly, forcing myself to look more at Nellie than Jamie.
I couldn’t even let my shoulder brush his.
“I’m sure they totally bought it. It’s probably already all over group chats. ”
Nellie scrubbed her palms across her eyes.
“Besides, if everyone already thought we were together, not much has to really change.” I curled my fingers into the leather of the console. “Hold hands here, maybe a hug there. Totally normal for us.”
“And it’s not like it’s forever,” Jamie added. “Just a few weeks until Dalton leaves Daisy alone. I’m sure he’ll get bored with it by the Fourth of July.”
Bored with it, Jamie had said. But what I really heard was Bored with her. The thought hit me hard, as if he’d shoved me.
“Besides, I thought you were all pro fake relationship,” Jamie went on, looking at his sister. “You’re not as excited as I would’ve thought.”
“I’m pro S-T-R-A-T-E-G-Y,” she spelled, enunciating it clearly. “Plans. Boundaries and guidelines and preparation—not impromptu!” Nellie scrubbed her eyes again. “And not so graphic.”
Graphic. Ha. I never would’ve put graphic and Jamie together in the same sentence, ever. Now I had a very clear image in my head of graphic and Jamie.
“I just hate the idea of him thinking he’s still got a hold on you, Daze.” Jamie looked at me, and since I was still leaning between the seats, we were close. I fought the urge to flinch back, forcing myself to hold steady. “Because he doesn’t. Right?”
You know we’re meant to be together. Words I’d nearly caved into. I swallowed hard. “Right.” Liar.
“I guess we’re doing this then.” Nellie’s voice still held a vaguely nauseous tone to it, but she perked up a little. “Daisy, can you meet up tomorrow? We can go over rules.”
Jamie frowned. “Rules?”
“Rules,” Nellie confirmed. “History. Getting your stories straight. Hello. Out of all the books you read, you’ve never read a fake dating one, Mr. Bookworm?”
His frown of confusion morphed into one of annoyance. “I don’t read romances.”
“Uh-huh, sure.” Nellie popped her door open, and the cabin light flicked on.
I didn’t immediately move to follow her, and Jamie didn’t either.
She peeked her head in, eyes finding mine.
“After the kids go to school, we’ll come over.
” Just before she shut the door, she told Jamie, “Take Daisy home. I need space—and bleach for my eyes. Maybe there’s some left from what I used on Beck’s hair. ”
Nellie went inside, but Jamie didn’t reach for the keys in the ignition to start the car back up. Instead, we both sat still. I felt the strongest urge to clear my throat.
He finally looked over his shoulder. “You’re going to stay in the backseat?”
“Oh. Uh.” Yes, please, can I? “No.”
Normal Daisy would’ve crawled up over the console, falling into the passenger seat with a huff of air. Normal Daisy wouldn’t have cared about leaning on Jamie for balance, probably accidentally sticking her butt in his face.
Normal Daisy had melted into a puddle somewhere between the walls of Lydia’s mansion. I felt like I was stuffed into someone else’s body now.
I popped the door open, climbing out of the car only to open the passenger door and slide in. Jamie started the car after I slid back in, reaching for the gearshift. “Seatbelt,” he reminded me.
Right. Seatbelt. My arms felt awkward close to my chest, my hands awkward in my lap, my legs awkward where they were crammed under the dash. I just felt like one big bundle of uncomfortable.
But why? I thought as Jamie backed out of his driveway, shifting the car into drive. It’s just Jamie.
Just Jamie. Jamie, who liked to read old-timey books until he fell asleep mid-sentence.
Jamie, who would cry when he watched Disney movies where the parents died.
Jamie, who I’d watched eat nearly two dozen sugar cookies only to puke them all back up thirty minutes later when we were fifteen. Just Jamie.
For some reason, that comforted me enough that I could peek over at him. Jamie, who drove with both hands at ten and two and barely took his eyes off the road. Jamie, my best friend.
“Are those secretly spicy books?” I asked suddenly.
Jamie choked on an inhale. “W-What?”
“The books you read. Are they spicy books?”
“No, they are not spicy.” A corner of Jamie’s lips tugged. “Is that your way of saying I did a good job?”
Again, something in me short-circuited. Too good of a job. “Y-You were passable.” My cheeks warmed as I turned to stare through the windshield, letting the glare of the headlights blind out the image in my brain. “You surprised me. I thought you were actually about to kiss me.”
“I wouldn’t kiss you,” Jamie said at once.