CHAPTER 11
Penn had been right—I should’ve been more concerned about Theo on the twenty-minute walk home. He’d finished a quarter of his Superman ice cream before passing out on one of the ice cream parlor’s picnic table seats, and no amount of nudging woke him up.
So that was how we’d ended up on the sidewalk, Jamie holding a sleeping Theo in his arms with Junie walking close at his side.
Penn was in front with the backpack on, and Ivy and I walked behind everyone, holding hands.
Theo’s head was slung over Jamie’s shoulder, eyes shut, drool slipping out of his ice-cream-covered mouth and onto Jamie’s gray hoodie, but Jamie didn’t seem to care.
He was content as he walked along, taking the girls’ nonstop chatter in stride.
“So you’re not really kissing Daisy?” Junie asked for what felt like the millionth time, squinting up at Jamie as if he’d finally crack and spill the truth. “Because you looked like you wanted to.”
Jamie just laughed at that, glancing over his other shoulder at me. “Told you I’m a good actor.”
The ice cream churned in my stomach. “Shut up.”
“I still don’t really get why you’re faking,” Penn said, turning around to face us, walking backward. “To make Dalton jealous?”
I shook my head. “To just get him to leave me alone.”
“It didn’t look like he was leaving you alone earlier.”
“Yeah.” Jamie didn’t glance at me this time. “It didn’t look like that to me, either.”
I was starting to think the universe was against me, forcing me to cross paths with Dalton, and setting it up so Jamie caught us. It wasn’t fair. “It’s a work-in-progress. It’s—working, though.”
“How do you know?” Junie turned around and raised her eyebrows at me. She couldn’t quite master arching one at a time. “Did Dalton say it’s working?”
I wish I could say I’d never expected you two to get together, he’d said. But… well. I’m not surprised. “Yeah.” More or less.
“Good,” Penn said. “He sucks for hurting you, Daisy.”
So that was the reason she looked at him like she wanted to kill him. Which was strange—sometimes Penn struck me as the kind of sister who’d be gleeful over someone hurting my feelings.
“Yeah.” Jamie kicked a stone on the sidewalk. “I think he sucks, too.”
Swallowing a sigh, I said nothing.
“So you guys just hold hands and hug?” Junie asked Jamie, batting her little lashes up at him. “You don’t kiss or anything?”
“Kissing is gross,” Jamie replied immediately. “Don’t do it til your married.”
“You have to kiss to get married,” Ivy called up to them, proud that she knew that much. “They don’t call you husband and wife until you kiss!”
“Can we stop talking about kissing?” I asked, because I had too clear of an image of Jamie’s lips on my palm. And on my forehead. And on my neck. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Jamie, you like Daisy enough to pretend to like-like her?” Penn asked him, this time facing forward on the sidewalk when she asked. “It’s not… weird?”
I stared at the back of Jamie’s head. “It’s a little weird,” he admitted, and there was an undercurrent to his voice I couldn’t pinpoint. Since he wasn’t looking at me, I couldn’t gauge his expression. “But she’s my best friend. I’d do anything for her.”
The things I do for you, Daisy Carmichael.
“You should definitely get something in return, though.” Junie tucked her hands behind her back. “We learned that in school. If you want something, you have to pay for it. But it’s not always money.”
Jamie laughed at that. “When it’s your friend, sometimes you just do things for them without getting anything in return. And sometimes the happiness of getting to help them is enough.”
Junie wrinkled her nose. “Not for me. I’d always want something.”
Not Jamie. I’d do anything for you, he’d told me the night of the party, the words almost haunted. Even if it put him in a tight spot, he’d be on my side. Even if he didn’t want to do it, he’d do it anyway. The things I do for you, Daisy Carmichael.
My stomach turned again.
They continued chattering as we turned onto Hawthorne Street, bouncing from mindless topic to mindless topic, but I barely paid attention.
Jamie’s hair started to stick to the back of his neck as we walked, and I realized that if I was hot in the sun, he must’ve been much hotter bearing Theo’s weight.
Especially in his hoodie. Jamie seemed to pull the short straw in every instance lately, especially when it came to me.
When we got home, Penn decided she needed a drink, and Junie and Ivy followed after her.
Jamie, cradling a still-sleeping Theo, brought him over to the couch where he gently laid him down.
Playing in the sun with the sugar rush after had him crashing hard, because he didn’t even stir as Jamie pulled back.
“Sorry you were our pack mule,” I told Jamie, wincing at the drool all along his shoulder. “Do you want a new shirt? I could probably find one of my dad’s—”
“I’m okay. Truly. And about the pack mule part—I wanted to be.” Jamie tugged the blanket up closer to Theo’s chin, ruffling his hair lightly. “I doubt you’d have been able to carry him all the way home.”
“I would’ve made him walk.” I looked down at my little brother’s resting face. “I shouldn’t let him nap this long, anyway. He won’t sleep tonight if he naps the day away, and he’ll be up bothering me all night.”
I’d said that last bit with affection, though I knew that would be the case. This would totally throw his sleep schedule off, but it was the first day of summer vacation. Maybe it would be fine. I just couldn’t bear to shake him awake now, not when he looked so peaceful.
“He wouldn’t bother your mom?” Jamie asked.
“Oh, jeez, no.” That actually made me laugh. “Her room is off-limits after lights out.” Plus, the kids were more afraid of going downstairs when it was so dark.
“But yours isn’t?”
“No. Mom has work.”
“You had school.”
I frowned. “Her work is more important. It’s no big deal.”
Jamie let out a little breath, nudging up his glasses as his gaze flicked to Theo. “Can we—”
“Daisy, what are you making for dinner tonight?” Junie called from the kitchen. A second later, she popped up in the hallway, holding a box of bowtie noodles. “Can we have pasta?”
“I don’t want pasta!” Ivy’s voice was louder than it needed to be as she appeared behind Junie. “I want grilled cheese and tomato soup.”
“Well, you can have grilled cheese, and we can have pasta.”
“Let Daisy make whatever she wants,” Penn grumbled, cracking open her can of soda.
Junie scoffed. “Oh, sure, kiss up to her and maybe she’ll make what you want, is that how you’re playing it?”
“Whoever cleans their room first gets first pick on dinner tonight,” I said to them, propping a hand on my hip. “And if I’m remembering correctly, my room is the cleanest one.”
Ivy immediately shoved Junie back a step before bolting forward, trying to lunge for the stairs first. Junie, after her socks slid on the hardwood, scrambled after her, letting out a shriek that I was surprised didn’t wake Theo. Penn trailed behind them, not quite as eager, but still attempting.
Jamie looked after them with a strange expression. “You sound like a mother.”
“Is that your way of calling me old?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m only three months older than you, jerk.”
Jamie didn’t laugh, though. “Can we talk outside?”
With one last look at my sleeping little brother, I led Jamie out to the front door.
It was almost five o’clock now, probably, but the breeze still lingered, the only reason the humidity wasn’t absolutely stifling.
I thought about dinner for the first time all day, debating which would be easier—pasta or grilled cheeses.
Which no would be the most manageable. Junie might not throw that big of a fit if her choice wasn’t picked, but Ivy was unpredictable.
And who knew what Theo would end up eating—
“Daisy.”
I blinked, focusing on Jamie. He’d stepped down the first concrete step, but turned around to face me. The height difference didn’t quite bring us eye to eye, but he was low enough that I didn’t have to crane my neck up at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jamie didn’t miss a beat. “I’m looking at you the way I’ve always looked at you.”
“No, you’re serious.” I reached out and rubbed the pad of my thumb between Jamie’s cinched brows, smoothing them out. “You and Nellie are both the same—you get this line between your eyebrows when you’re serious.”
Jamie caught my wrist, his fingers wrapping easily around it and settling on my pulse point. He lowered my arm but didn’t let go. “Do you want to keep doing this?” he asked, staring straight into my eyes. “Do you want to keep faking a relationship with me?”
“Why?” Something almost like panic bolted through me. “I—I know you’re really not getting much out of this. But… you don’t want to anymore?”
“I want to do whatever you want to do. But as much as I don’t like the guy, I don’t want to force you away from Dalton if that’s not… what you want.”
For a beat, I actually had no idea how to reply, the words clogging in my throat. “Wanting him isn’t good for me.”
“But do you?” Jamie’s fingers loosened around my wrist. “Want him?”
The direct question was impossible to avoid, and even more impossible to answer.
There were times I felt like I didn’t, but then others—like earlier on the park bench, when I’d been waiting, wanting, for him to brush the hair from my eyes—that tripped me up.
You have four little roots holding you in place.
I maneuvered my hand so that our palms pressed together. “We’re… getting there.”
Jamie looked down at our hands, and I wished, more than anything, that I knew what he was thinking. I’d stopped being able to predict him the second he’d grabbed my waist and lifted me onto the dresser that night. Ever since then, things had been different.
I thought of the words he’d said to Junie. When it’s your friend, sometimes you just do things for them without getting anything in return. And sometimes the happiness of getting to help them is enough.