Chapter Eight #2
He moved against me and his lips found mine. Unlike the moment in the library, this time we were unbound, unafraid anyone would see us. We kissed with abandon, deeply and rhythmically, in sync with each other as his fingers entwined in my hair, and his body pressed against mine.
Every cell in my body had fallen for the incredible boy in my arms.
But that changed the next morning when I went to find him, and he was gone.
Lila
PRESENT DAY
“I disappeared?” He almost shouted the question. “What do you mean? You did that, Lila. You disappeared.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Right after you made it clear exactly what you—what your family thought of me.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s not what happened. We were together on Peanut Island, and…and you were gone after that. I never saw you again. And then Dad gave me your letter.”
I didn’t add what I wanted to—that it had devastated me, I’d spent most of Christmas break crying after reading it, and I’d gone back to New Hampshire broken-hearted and lovelorn.
But this night, in the corner of his dining room, Adam was saying he hadn’t disappeared at all. Instead, his eyes narrowed, and he frowned. “What letter, Lila?”
“The one you sent me.”
“No.” He grabbed my arm and walked me backward until I pressed against the wall.
“What are you doing?” I asked, keeping my eyes locked with his.
Adam braced his hand on the wall beside my left ear. “I didn’t send you a letter, Lila.”
“I got one.” How could he not remember this?
It was the one piece of mail I’d never managed to forget, the one thing I’d received that burned my soul, branded me, and broke my heart.
I knew every letter of the slanted scrawl.
How dare he deny he’d written it. How dare he?
“From you. Telling me you’d make a mistake.
That you already had a girlfriend. Telling me to forget about you.
It was even fold—” A sigh of regret escaped my lips.
“Folded like the boats I used to give you.”
He shut his eyes. “The boats.”
“That’s how I knew you’d written it.”
Then I laughed without humor at how stupid and naive I’d been then, how silly I had been to indulge in a girlish crush on the pool boy, who clearly hadn’t had the same feelings as I did.
Even after we spent what I considered an amazing day together.
Fifteen-year-old Lila had time to waste on emotions like that; twenty-five-year-old Lila didn’t.
“I’d loved those boats.”
“And then you were gone. I texted you and—”
“Look, back then I didn’t think I should contact you. It was—complicated. But I never left. I was right there all the time in Boca Raton.”
“No, that’s not what happened, and you know it.” I shook my head, confused. “I still have your letter.”
Adam tightened his grip on my arm. “I never wrote one. Never.”
I peered into his eyes, looking for some sign of the boy I knew, the boy I’d thought I loved. We’d been kids then, but it had meant something to me, and I couldn’t deny those feelings. I didn’t want to deny them.
But I didn’t see seventeen-year-old Adam in those deep blue eyes anymore.
Instead, I only found an angry sea of emotions, crashing together in such a way I didn’t know how to decipher them all.
He thought I left? That didn’t make sense, and I didn’t have the energy to revisit it.
Not with all I already had to deal with now.
“I have to go,” I finally said, and pushed off the wall. He stumbled backward, his hand dropping from my arm. I took advantage of the space and moved toward the arched entryway. “You have a lovely house, Adam, and you’re such a success. That makes me happy.”
“Lila—”
I held up a hand. “I need to go. I have an early day tomorrow.” I backed into the hallway. “Goodnight, Adam. Good luck with the rest of the party.”
I turned, and as I took a few steps to the large foyer, he sprinted to my side.
“No, please,” he insisted. “Don’t leave.”
Instead of answering him, I pulled my phone from my purse and opened it, ready to order a car away from Ibis Isle.
During the ride home, I’d text Julie and make an excuse.
She probably wouldn’t care anyway. The circus had started outside, and the delight of the party guests roared through the house, penetrating the windows. It sounded like a good show.
“It really was a pleasure to be here tonight,” I added. “Thank you again.”
Still walking toward the front door, I ordered the car, not allowing myself to look at Adam. Thankfully, the app located the nearest car less than ninety seconds away. Not much longer, and I’d be gone from all of this.
“Take care of yourself, Adam,” I said over my shoulder when I arrived at the mansion’s grand entrance.
His hand fell on my shoulder, forcing me to look at him again. “Don’t do this, Lila. Don’t leave yet.”
I glanced at my phone. “My ride is almost here.”
“Screw it.”
Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes again. “I have to go, Adam. I can’t stay. We knew each other when we were kids. We kissed once. And it’s all in the past. That’s where it needs to stay.”
“Please, Lila—”
The app dinged, and I showed him the screen. “I’m going. Goodnight, Adam.”
Before he could reply, I turned on my wedge heel and burst through the front door as my ride arrived at the top of Adam’s circular drive.
I rushed toward it, not allowing myself to look back at him, even though every cell in my body screamed for me to turn my head, to give him one last glance to take another moment with the boy who’d stolen my heart.
No, I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t lay myself bare like that again, not the way I had when I was fifteen.
I wasn’t a teenager anymore, and I was about as far from my childhood as I could ever be.
It might have been nice to see Adam again, and it might have awakened something in me, something I’d long considered dead, but that didn’t mean I could let my heart grow around it again.
I had too many other things that needed my attention.
“Royal Poinciana Plaza,” I told the driver after I slid into the back seat. “As fast as you can get there.”