Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ben
T he grill is going in preparation for our regular first night barbeque. There are tubs full of beer, wine, and sodas on the deck, and all the people I love the most are scattered around the backyard. My dad and Hallie’s dad, Max, are at the grill, and my mom and Hallie’s mom, Rebecca, have their heads together over something or other. Jordan, Allie, and Jeremy are laying on lounge chairs by the pool. Julie, Molly, and Emma are in the pool with Hallie’s sisters, and Hallie is curled up in her favorite rocking chair in the corner of the deck, e-reader in hand and beverage assortment on the table next to her.
Hallie keeps lifting her head and shooting glances at me, and I grin inwardly, thinking of her face when I handed her the iced latte I made for her when I heard their cars pull up earlier. She thinks she’s all chaotic and mysterious about her coffee choices, even to herself. But it just takes some attention to figure it out. I don’t think anyone has ever paid enough attention to Hallie to really know her completely. But I have. More than anything in the world, I want to be the one to show her what it really means to be known all the way down to her soul. I can tell from her looks that she’s confused right now, and that’s just fine by me.
Brace yourself, Hallie girl; you have no idea what you’re in for .
I start heading down to talk to the guys when my mom intercepts me.
“Oh my lord, is that my baby boy? The one and only Benjamin Parker? I could have sworn you decided not to come up this year given how little I’ve seen of you today. Don’t you even think about leaving this deck without having a conversation with me.”
I grin and open my arms to her. “Put ‘er there, pal.”
She wraps her arms around me. She smells like the lake, the perfume she’s been using for as long as I can remember, and the cookies she was no doubt baking earlier today before we all got here. It all screams mom, and it relaxes me almost instantly.
“I know you’re all grown up and a man now and blah, blah, blah, but you will always be my baby. We are going to get a beer that I will never believe you are old enough to drink and sit in those chairs over there, and you are going to tell me what’s going on in your life.”
She points towards the lounge chairs on the opposite side of the deck, and I follow her, grabbing a couple of beers out of the cooler on the way. I may be almost thirty years old, but when Rachel Parker issues an order, you listen. I pop open the beers and hand her one as we sit down.
“Okay, tell me everything,” she starts. “What’s going on with you, with the bar, with your life? Since we’ve been at the lake for weeks, I’ve missed catching up with you.”
“Really? I could have sworn someone who sounded like my mom has been calling me at least every other day since you got up here.”
“Smartass. It’s different in person, and you know it. I need to see your face when we talk. You have a very expressive face.”
I snort out a laugh. “Drama much, Ma?”
“I prefer to call it loving mother involved in her children’s lives.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” I take a long sip of my beer and consider whether to tell my mom about the Stonegate deal. I think about Jeremy pushing me to talk to my dad about it, and I decide to test the waters with my mom first.
“There actually is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
My mom’s face lights up, like I knew it would. There is nothing my mom loves more than when one of her children confides in her. She’s both a great mom and an unabashed gossip, so anything that falls into the Venn diagram of those two interests is right in her wheelhouse.
“Please, do go on, Benj.”
I give her the broad strokes of the deal. I keep it to just the facts, without letting her know that I’m struggling to decide what to do. She listens, her face giving nothing away. When I finish, she sits for a minute, considering.
“So, what do you think you’re going to do?”
“I haven’t decided yet. We have a few months before we have to come to a real decision, and I’m not sure what I want. Jeremy would be fine with either choice, so he left it up to me. Jerk.”
She laughs. “I think Jeremy knows you well and knows you wouldn’t be at peace unless you made this decision for yourself. He’s a good friend, Benj.”
“The best. But what do you think I should do?”
“You really want to know what I think?”
“Always, Ma.”
“I think you should talk to your dad about it.”
I make a face, not sure why I didn’t consider that talking to my dad would be the first thing she recommended.
“No way. Don’t do that. I know you avoid talking to your dad about business, but for the life of me, I don’t know why.”
“Because he is a wildly successful real estate developer, and I own a bar.”
“I’m not even going to explain all the ways that’s a dumb reason. And I just decided. I’m also not going to tell you what I think about the deal. Not until you talk to your dad. You talk to him, and then I’ll give you my opinion.”
“But can’t you just tell me now?” My voice is perilously close to whining.
“No dice, baby boy.”
“A nicer mom would tell me.”
“Well, lucky for you, you got me. Now, what else is happening? How was the gala last night?”
My mind immediately flashes to my arms around Hallie on the dance floor. Hallie chooses that exact moment to get up from her chair across the deck from me, and my eyes follow her as she disappears into the house.
“I’m over here,” says my mom.
I snap my head back around to her. “What?”
She’s looking at me with a shit-eating grin, and I groan inwardly because it’s also her I have just figured something out about you grin.
“Looks like you’ve finally caught up,” says my mom with a smirk in my direction.
“Caught up to what?”
“What I’ve known for your whole life. I saw the way you just looked at her.”
“Looked at who?” I don’t know why I even bother. No one can play dumb with my mom. She knows everything.
She doesn’t even answer my question.
“Are you finally ready to get off your ass and do something about it?”
I open my mouth to respond, and then my brain catches up. “Wait, my whole life? I haven’t had feelings for Hallie for my whole life.”
She grins triumphantly and I groan, kicking myself for folding that easily.
“You might have only figured it out around high school graduation. But honey, Hallie Evans has been yours since you were six years old, and you handed her your popsicle right over there by the pool when she dropped hers and started to cry. I knew it then and I knew it when you brought Sarah home a couple of years ago and tried to make us all believe you were in love with her. And I saw it every time Hallie brought home that horrible college boyfriend of hers every spring break and you walked around looking like someone told you Pittsburgh was cancelled forever.”
Her eyes meet mine, her gaze soft and comforting and so mom-like.
“And honey, I know it now. You and Hallie are meant for each other.”
“How did you know I figured out I had feelings for her around graduation?
She just gives me a look. “Benjamin Parker, there is literally nothing that goes on with one of my children that I don’t know about. Now the question is, are you finally ready to do something about it?”
I take a deep breath and figure, what the hell. I’m already in deep. “I am. I love her, Ma. I’ve loved her for years. I know it could be complicated with Jules and our families, but I’m so tired of waiting. I can’t do it anymore.”
Her face softens and she reaches over and covers her hand with mine.
“Baby boy, this is your life. Jules is going to be fine and so are our families. I know you love her, and for what it’s worth, I think she loves you too. She just hasn’t quite worked it out yet. She’s yours, and while love is complicated, it’s worth it.” She glances over to where my dad is standing by the grill. As if sensing her, he looks over and throws her a wink. They have always been so in love, so completely in sync with each other.
I want that. With Hallie.
“We had a couple of moments last night at the gala and I think…well, I think maybe she felt it too.”
My mom squeezes my hand. “My money’s on you, and you have the lake magic on your side. Go get her, pal.”
Later that night after dinner and dessert and time spent talking and hanging out around the pool together, the parents go inside. The rest of us strip down to our bathing suits and go to the lake for night swimming. The lake is dark, the water and small beach illuminated only by the moonlight and the landscape lighting along the footpath from the back yard to the beach. Per usual, Hannah and Jo race down the footpath and jump straight in, with Molly and Julie hot on their heels. All four of them swim right out to the floating swim raft we have out towards the middle of the lake. Emma walks in at a regular person pace with Jeremy next to her, and Allie jumps on Jordan’s back. I catch up with Hallie on the path and grab her around the waist, taking off at a run.
“Ben, what the fuck?” she screeches. Whatever else she was going to say is cut off as I run straight into the water and submerge us both. We surface, my arms still around her waist, and she turns to face me, a disgruntled look on her face.
“Give a girl some warning next time.”
I grin at her. “What would be the fun in that?”
Some of her hair is hanging in her eyes and I bring one of my hands up to push it behind her ear, trailing my finger along her jaw. I hold her chin in place with my thumb and pointer finger so her eyes stay locked on mine. Our faces are inches apart and she sucks in a breath as I lean closer to her. I see her pupils dilate, her eyes darken, and then at the last second, just before our lips meet, I turn my head, kiss her cheek, and pull back.
“Race you out to the swim raft,” I say before diving under. When I surface, I turn back and Hallie is still standing where I left her, a stunned look on her face.
A second later, she seems to shake herself out of it, yelling, “Don’t think your head start counts, Benji,” before diving under and following me out to the raft.