Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hallie
I ’m kissing Ben Parker. I am kissing Ben Parker! And it feels so fucking good I never want it to end. He tastes like mint and the wine we drank by the fire, and he smells like laundry detergent and the woodsy scent that is so absolutely Ben that it should freak me out because oh my god, I’m kissing Ben. My best friend Ben. But it doesn’t, because Ben is kissing me like he has been thinking about kissing me for his entire life. Sparks dance across my skin, and there is a long, liquid pull low in my belly. I should be shocked by how right this feels, but somehow, I’m not.
Ben drops his hands to my waist and moves them just under the fabric of my t-shirt, his thumbs stroking the bare skin there as his mouth continues to move against mine. It feels like the world is tilting at my feet. I reach up to tangle my hands in his hair, pulling slightly, and he lets out a groan and tears his mouth away to rest his forehead against mine.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, breathing hard. Then his lips are on mine again, and his tongue is licking back into my mouth in a way that makes my head spin. His fingers leave a trail of fire where they streak up the bare skin along my spine and back down again. I have been kissed before, but I have never, ever been kissed like this.
Ben’s mouth leaves mine to drift down my jaw and then to my neck. I let out an honest to god whimper and pull his lips back to mine. He comes willingly, angling his head and kissing me like he’ll die without it. He’s close enough that I can feel him hard against my leg, and a thrill shoots through me that I did that. He is hard for me. Minutes pass as we stay wrapped up as we kiss and kiss before finally breaking apart and staring at each other, breathing heavily. Ben’s eyes are wide and dark, his hair a mess. His lips are wet and puffy, and under the hand that I lay on his chest, his heart is pounding wildly.
“Ben,” I whisper, without knowing what I mean to say next.
“I know, Hal.” He covers my hand on his chest with one of his. He seems to answer the question I’m not even sure I asked.
We just look at each other for a few seconds longer, the air between us heavy and charged. Our lifelong friendship is cracked wide open, the pieces scattered, waiting to rearrange themselves into whatever new and fragile thing is forming between us right now. I don’t know what it is, but I already know it is enormous. That should be terrifying but it’s not—because this is Ben, and this is me, and this is Ben and me. Standing here while our eyes search each other’s, his filled with heat and longing and what looks strangely like relief, after kissing each other senseless, feels like the most natural thing in the world and the best thing I have ever done.
And then he closes the small distance between us and pulls me against him, one arm looped around my waist and the other hand cradling my head, holding on tight like he’s afraid if he lets go, I’ll disappear.
But I’m not going anywhere. I am rooted to this spot by the weight of whatever is happening right now, and I never want to move.
He eases back and looks me in the eyes again. Then he leans down and gives me one more long, slow kiss that has my heart rolling over in my chest before he steps back, his eyes never leaving mine.
We are both silent for a couple of seconds. What do two lifelong friends even say after they kiss the shit out of each other for the first time and like it? It’s me who breaks the silence, voicing the only thought in my head.
“How long do you think that’s been in there?”
“I don’t know,” Ben says quietly, in a way that makes me feel like he does know, but I opt not to press it.
The silence descends between us again, and this time it’s heavy and filled with something I can’t quite name. And then Ben takes another step back and clears his throat.
“So…I guess I’ll go back to my room?” He phrases it more like a question than a statement.
The face I know so well is full of uncertainty and hesitation. It’s a letdown considering my entire body is still buzzing, and I’m strategizing about how I can kiss him again—and then do a whole lot more than kiss him—as soon as humanly possible.
“Oh, okay, I mean, yeah. I guess it is pretty late,” I stammer.
He starts towards the door, but him leaving is the last thing I want right now. So, I pull up my big girl pants.
“Or you could…stay?”
“Yeah?” Ben stops in his tracks, his smile lighting up every inch of him.
“Yeah. Unless you want to go. It’s okay if you do, but I want you to stay.”
“Hallie, the last thing I want to do right now is walk out that door.”
“Really? Okay. Good. Because that kiss was…” I trail off, not knowing what to say. Electric? Mind-blowing? The best kiss of my life?
“Yeah, Hal. It was.”
We look at each other, my heart pounding and my need for Ben rising up like a tidal wave. It threatens to swamp me if he doesn’t get his hands back on me in the next three seconds. I should probably stop and think about what all this means, but I am so damn sick of thinking all the time. I just want to feel, and this feels absolutely right. It’s like all my confusion over the way Ben has been acting over the last couple of days has coalesced into this one single moment. All that is between us right now is want and heat and our chests rising and falling in sync.
As if we decide something at the exact same time, we fly at each other, bodies colliding and mouths crashing together. Our tongues tangle and we are a dizzying frenzy of lips and hands and riotous electricity. I wrap my arms around Ben’s neck and stand on my tiptoes, trying to get closer to him, but there is no closer that would be close enough. As if understanding what I’m trying to do, Ben reaches down and wraps a hand around each of my thighs, boosting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist while never pulling his mouth away. He has one hand under my ass and the other gripping the back of my head while his lips assault mine.
I can feel Ben’s cock, hot and huge and rock hard, contained only by his thin sweatpants. I grind down on him, trying to ease the ache between my legs. All I’m wearing are underwear and sleep shorts, his cock settled right against my clit, and it feels so fucking good that I could probably come just like this, still fully dressed. The hand on my ass tightens, pulling me even closer to him, and he groans, pulling his mouth from mine and holding me tightly in place so I can’t move.
“Nuh-uh, Hallie girl. I’ve been waiting a long fucking time for this, and the first time you come for me, you’re coming on my tongue.”
Arousal shoots through me, and I dimly register the “long fucking time.” But I’m too buzzed by the proximity of my body to Ben’s and the way his mouth grazes the sensitive spot behind my ear and slides down my throat to nip at my collarbone to hold my curiosity for long.
He walks us towards my bed and sets me down on the edge before dropping to his knees. His gaze is fire, the expression on his face hungry as his eyes sweep down my body and back up again, and I’m shocked when I don’t burst into flames.
Eyes still on mine, he drifts his hands from my knees up the outsides of my thighs to rest on my hips. He pauses for a second before curling his fingers into the waistband of my shorts.
“Can I?” he asks.
I nod.
“Words, Hallie. I need words.”
“Yes. Please.”
His smile has a smug edge to it, and fuck if it’s not the sexiest thing I have ever seen on his face. I could spend hours pondering the fact that I suddenly find Ben’s smile sexy, but then he tugs on my waistband and pulls my shorts down and off in a single move, tossing them onto the floor behind him. Also, so sexy.
He traces a finger down the seam of my underwear and then up the middle over the wet spot I’m sure is there because I have never been this turned on in my life. When his finger grazes my clit, my entire body jolts. Then he leans down and runs his nose up along the center of my underwear, breathing in deeply. He licks along my lower belly, then grasps the sides of my underwear and slides them off and down my legs, throwing them over his shoulder to join my sleep shorts on the floor. With a hand on each knee, he pushes my legs back open, so I am completely bared to him.
“Fuck, Hallie,” he breathes. Then, more slowly than I can bear, he traces a single finger up my slit, gathering the moisture that has pooled there and circles my clit. I let out a low moan as a thousand nerve endings spark to life.
Ben looks up at me, gaze molten. “You are so beautiful, Hallie girl.” He circles my clit again and my vision blurs, my breath catching in my chest. “Now, lay back.”
I fall instantly back on my elbows, eyes never leaving his.
“Good girl.”
And bless me Gloria Steinem for I have sinned because every feminist bone in my body turns to dust and floats away at the sound of Ben calling me good girl and looking at me like I am the most desirable being to ever grace this earth. I know without a doubt any sex I have had up until this point was a waste of time because this is already the hottest sexual encounter of my entire life, and Ben hasn’t even taken off a single article of clothing.
Ben leans down, flicking my clit lightly with his tongue, and my hands fly down to grab his hair, trying to pull his face closer to me. He lifts his head and gives me one heated look before he cups me, and slides one finger just inside me, and then back out again.
“You are so fucking wet, Hallie. Is this for me?”
“Ben,” I breathe.
“Answer me, Hallie girl.” He pushes his finger back in, a little deeper this time, and slides his thumb over my clit.
“Yes,” I gasp as my hips jerk up.
“Good answer.” Ben pushes his finger the rest of the way inside me and rubs his thumb over my clit again and again until my legs start to shake, and my head presses back into the mattress.
“Ben,” I breathe. “I need…”
“I know what you need.” He wraps a hand around each of my calves, tosses my legs over his shoulders, and covers my entire pussy with his mouth. He curls the finger inside me up, hitting a spot that makes me see stars, as his mouth licks and sucks at my clit until my hips are twisting and I’m crying out at the assault on my senses. Ben on his knees for me. His thick finger stretching me open and his hot, wet mouth working at my clit like he’ll die if he has to stop. It’s so much and yet not enough at the same time. My grip on his hair tightens as I grind against his mouth, trying to get closer to him.
“Fuck yes, Hallie. Take what you need.” He continues to lick and suck and hum against my clit when I roll my hips, and I feel the vibration all the way up my body. Never in my life have I felt like this. My entire body is flushed and vibrating, and I feel like I’m about to combust.
“Ben,” I gasp, my chest heaving, not able to suck in enough oxygen to speak a full sentence. “I can’t…I…”
“Give it to me, Hallie. Come for me.”
Ben slides in a second finger then curls them both up deep inside of me and wraps his lips around my clit, sucking hard. And I detonate. I let out a cry and come so hard my vision blacks out. Waves of pleasure roll through my body, and it’s like my world tears apart at the seams. All that’s left is Ben and me in this room, on this bed. I tug his hair so hard that I’m afraid I might rip it out, and I keep grinding my hips against him as the waves of what is surely the longest orgasm to ever exist keep pummeling me. My legs are shaking, and my torso is practically lifted straight off the bed. Ben stays with me the whole time, licking and sucking and fucking me with his fingers until finally my hands slide out of his hair and my body drops bonelessly to the comforter.
Ben pulls his fingers out of me and with his eyes on mine, brings them to his mouth and licks them clean. And even though I was sure I had just felt all the pleasure the world had to offer, heat sears straight through me. He looks like a debauched angel, his blue eyes dark and intense, his golden hair a mess from my hands gripping it, and the lower half of his face wet with my release. He stands and crawls over me onto the bed. Supporting his weight on his knees and elbows, he captures my mouth in a kiss that is all tongues and passion and intensity, and I taste myself on his lips. And then we break apart and lock eyes. He lifts a hand and pushes my hair off my forehead, running his hand down my cheek and swiping his thumb along my lower lip.
“Feeling you come on my tongue was the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. You’re mine, Hallie girl.”
It shakes me a little how much I deeply, desperately, want to be his. I don’t make decisions fast, and change makes me itchy, but not right now. Nothing has ever felt as right as Ben and me, together, like this. Something clicks into place inside of me. I am calm, settled, and practically aching with the need to show him how I feel. And then he leans down and kisses me again, watching me the whole time through hooded eyes hazy with lust. Even though two minutes ago his head was literally between my legs, this, right here, is the hottest moment of my life.