Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Hallie
E ventually, we get hungry and wander down in search of breakfast. When I walk into the kitchen, Ben is standing at the island with a frying pan in one hand and a carton of eggs in the other. He tosses me a look so full of heat that I stop short, and my core turns molten.
“Holy god, even I want to jump him after that look,” mumbles Molly from behind me.
I snort out a laugh, and Julie elbows her in the ribs.
“Gross, Mol, that’s still my brother.”
“You were okay when Hallie was talking about him like that!”
“That’s different.”
“It so isn’t.”
They keep fighting under their breaths as I make my way around the island to Ben. He hands me the iced coffee he has waiting on the counter and leans down to kiss my cheek, lingering for a second longer than necessary. Butterflies swarm my stomach, and I marvel at my reaction to him. At how much has changed in less than twelve hours.
“How was Jules?” he says in a low voice.
“Surprisingly amazing. I’ll tell you later.”
“Good. Go sit. I’m making breakfast today.”
“Seriously? You never make breakfast when we’re here. You usually sleep through it.”
“Well, I’m up now.” He slides an arm around my waist and pulls me into his side. “It’s a really good morning, Hal. I’m making you breakfast.” Then he kisses the top of my head and guides me to the table and into a seat right across from Hannah and Jo who are both giving me appraising looks.
“We’re going to talk about whatever that was, right?” asks Hannah.
I decide to play dumb. If there’s one thing I don’t want right now, it’s to have this conversation with my sisters at the breakfast table.
“Whatever what was?”
“Um, Ben with his hands all over you and kissing the top of your head. And I’ve been here for an hour already, and I definitely saw him come into the kitchen earlier from the direction of not his bedroom.”
“He what?” screeches Jo.
“Shut. Up.” I hiss under my breath. “Can we please talk about this later?”
Jo fixes me with a glare. “We will absolutely talk about this later.”
Talking about this with my sisters feels so much more daunting than talking about this with my friends. But it’s inevitable, so I better buckle up. My friends all gather around the table, various kinds of coffee in front of them. I let the noise and the chatter and clatter of utensils on dishes settle around me. I try to sneak a look at Ben, but he is already looking at me from his place in front of the stove. I can feel my face flush, and he grins, then flips off the burner and starts adding food to the plates he laid out on the counter.
He walks over and puts one of those plates in front of me and kisses my head again before taking the chair next to mine. I look down and find the same mushroom and cheese omelet he made for me the morning of Maya’s adoption hearing. It was the day I woke up at his house and cried all over him because he took control of the logistics of my day. Thinking back on that morning after last night makes me see it all so differently.
Ben seems to know exactly what I’m thinking about because he slides his hand over my bare thigh and leans in to whisper in my ear.
“I wished that morning I could touch you like this and kiss you after making breakfast. Last night meant a lot to me, Hallie.”
“Me too,” I whisper, feeling my entire body just beam from the inside out.
He squeezes my leg and then lets go. I go to pick up my fork and see Rachel standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking at Ben and me with a knowing smile on her face. She catches my eye and gives me a wink, making her way over to the coffee pot. Add Rachel to the list of conversations I’m sure I’ll be having today.
The rest of breakfast is uneventful, and we’re on lake time, so no one is in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything. I lounge around the table with Ben, my sisters, and the girls for a while, drinking coffee and talking.
We are in the middle of a conversation about whether we want to lounge by the pool or take the boat out later this afternoon when Ben hooks his foot around the bottom of my chair and slides it closer to his. Then he slings his arm around me and tucks me into his side, leaning over and whispering, “You were too far away,” into my ear. When he pulls me closer to him and kisses my temple, goosebumps cascade down my arms. He dances his hand along my shoulder and even though it’s mid-summer, I give a full body shiver. I can’t decide if it’s just been so long since someone has touched me like this, or if what happened last night means that I am destined to respond to any part of Ben touching any part of me like this forever. He gives me a sly look that tells me he knows exactly how this is affecting me. And it is in that second that I realize the kitchen has gone deadly silent.
I look up to see the five pairs of eyes around the table focused directly on us and that at some point during our little interlude Jeremy, Jordan, and Allie appeared in the kitchen to join in the staring.
It’s Allie who breaks the silence. “Fucking finally.” All eyes turn to her.
“What do you mean, finally?” asks Jo.
“It looks like our Ben has finally made his move. He did make his move, right?”
Jordan slides an arm around Allie’s waist. “I would tell my blunt and wildly gorgeous fiancée that it’s not polite to put people on the spot like that, but I’m nosy, and well, just not that evolved.”
Jeremy plops down into the empty chair beside Emma, who promptly scoots her chair a little closer to Molly on her other side.
“Not only is Ben in the kitchen when the clock reads ‘before eleven,’ but you two are looking awfully cozy at our breakfast table this morning.”
Hannah grins at me. “Hallie, I think later is now.”
“Definitely now. I love a sexy breakfast story,” Jo adds.
“Oh, it’s sexy,” says Molly.
My buoyant mood from earlier this morning starts to melt away. Telling the girls in my room this morning was one thing—that was fun—but having everyone’s eyes on me like this is making my skin crawl. Like always, Ben seems to know exactly what is going on in my head. He stands suddenly, tugging me with him.
“None of your business, assholes.” He directs this to everyone sitting around the table but says it with a smirk. “Now if you don’t mind, my girl and I are going to sit by the pool.”
Everyone seems stunned silent by the “my girl,” so Ben takes the opportunity to grab my hand and pull me out the sliding glass door to the deck.
When we get outside, Ben leads me off the deck and around the corner of the house where we can stand in relative privacy. He leans against the side of the house and pulls me into his arms. My heartbeat immediately slows.
“You okay, Hallie girl?”
“I’m fine.” And it turns out that it’s actually true. Standing here with Ben like this, I really am fine. Even after that little inquisition.
“You sure?”
“I’m really sure.” I lean my head on his chest and the rhythm of his heartbeat soothes every inch of me. It occurs to me that I am never as calm around others as I am around him and that it’s been that way my entire life. It feels like the roots for whatever is happening between us now were dug into me the same way they were into him, and I just never noticed. I find I like that thought. That maybe whatever this is has been inside me just as long. It explains why the rapid rearranging of our lifelong friendship feels so right, even among a kitchen full of nosy friends.
“You don’t…regret it? Last night? That was a lot back in the kitchen.”
Surprised, I pull back so I can look at him. The insecurity I see on his face is so uncharacteristic of Ben that I suddenly want badly to reassure him. I grab both of his hands.
“Last night was amazing, Ben. I don’t regret any part of it. I didn’t love being the center of attention, but that doesn’t have anything to do with last night. I really liked last night. All of it.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay with everyone knowing? I guess it’s too late if you’re not, but if you’re uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me everything. I know sharing your feelings isn’t really your thing, but I hope you’ll try with me. You’re safe with me, Hal.”
God, this man. I have never felt safe enough to tell anyone everything in my entire life, and somehow, he just knows. In this moment, I would walk through fire for him.
“Yeah, Benji, I’m definitely okay with everyone knowing.” Reaching up, I circle my arms around his neck, stand on my tiptoes, and lay my lips on his. He reacts instantly, reversing our positions so that my back is pressed against the side of the house. He pulls back for a second, his gaze full of heat and arousal. Then he brings one hand up and tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his finger down along my jaw.
“There she is,” he whispers, before sealing his mouth over mine. His tongue glides over my lower lip, and I open for him, tangling our tongues together. Ben moves one hand to my waist and wraps the other hand around my neck in a gesture of possession that shoots a bolt of need straight through me. This kiss is different from the ones we shared last night. Those were full of shock and heat and frenzy. This kiss is slow and needy and feels like worship. It shakes me to my core and makes me ache with the rightness of it all. As Ben’s mouth moves over mine, I have the wild thought that I never want to kiss anyone else, ever again, for as long as I live.
“Well, now what do we have here?”
At the sound of Rachel’s voice, Ben and I break apart, startled. I quickly push myself off the house, my first instinct to move my body as far away from Ben’s as possible. So extremely cool, Hallie. Very “teenage girl caught kissing a boy” energy.
But Ben doesn’t let me go anywhere. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into his side, turning us both to face his mom. Fabulous. Nothing to see here, Rachel. Just me, still in my pajamas, fresh off sharing a soul-shaking kiss with your son while leaning against the side of your house.
“Just a little kissing between friends, Ma. No big deal.”
She studies both of us, and I consider for a second what we must look like. Then I immediately stop considering it because I’m sure the answer is…like we were doing exactly what we were just doing. A wide smile breaks out over her face.
“No big deal my ass. Carry on.” She turns to walk back to the pool, calling over her shoulder, “Oh and Hallie, come talk to me when you’re done doing…whatever it is that you’re doing back there.”
When Rachel is gone, Ben and I are both quiet for a beat before we burst out laughing. We lean into each other and laugh until there are tears streaming down our faces. Then Ben grabs my face in both of his hands and kisses me hard, and I think maybe this is the best morning of my entire life.