Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
DECLAN
Feeling the sense of an empty bed beside me, my eyes pop open, blinking rapidly to adjust to the purple glow in the dark room thanks to Andy's strung-up lights. Without reaching out, I already know the side of the bed where she slept is empty. It's been a long time since I've slept with someone I cared about, and the last time I did, my body was so in tune with hers that I'd wake anytime she got out of bed.
It seems the same with Andy.
Sitting up, a yawn escapes me, my eyes glancing over at the closed bathroom door as I hear the lock flip seconds before the door opens, revealing Andy standing in the doorway in her fuzzy robe, the scent of cherries escaping the open door.
"Did you shower?" I ask, leaning against the headboard, blanket pulled around my waist. The last thing I remember was Andy and I holding each other, and then we must've fallen asleep.
She nods, a shy smile on her lips.
"What time is it?" I ask, watching as she walks to her nightstand and taps her phone to reveal the time.
"It's three in the morning," she says, climbing onto the bed beside me and looking everywhere but at me. The awkwardness between us is thick in the air, but I don't feel any differently than I did before we went to sleep, and I'm sure she's worried about it.
"Hey, mama, look at me." Reaching over, I grab her wrist, pulling her closer toward me, "What I said wasn't pillow talk. I want you to know that I'm all in. I meant every word I said to you tonight," I assure her, needing her to believe me and know that she won't turn her back on me.
Andy stares at me, a long silence passing between us before she sighs and speaks. "I've never been someone's girl before. I don't know how to act. And if you were saying those things in the moment, it's okay. I know that shit gets said during sex that guys don't always mean." Sitting up, I grip her chin, holding it firmly in my hand, not allowing her to look away as I speak.
"Fuck anyone who has said shit to you they didn't mean. I wouldn't say what I did had I not meant it. You're mine, Andy, and I'll do whatever I have to for you to believe that." Through her softening eyes, I can see the walls around her heart crumbling. "I think we're both pretty fucked up, but I think you might be my redemption." Perhaps she's an angel that’s been sent to me for one last attempt to save my soul before I'm dragged to hell.
"Give me all of you, baby." With a slow smile, she nods, tears coating her dark eyes.
"I'll try," she promises, her soft hands trailing my forearms as I hold her face. "Please don't hurt me, Declan. I don't think I'd be able to take it if you did."
"You have my word that I will always do my fucking best." She kisses me, climbing into my lap, arms wrapping around my neck as she lets down the final wall around her heart, allowing me in the sacred gate.
For the first time in a long time, there's a flutter in my chest, a sign that the organ is still alive and beating.
The devil hasn't called me home yet, so until he does, I'm going to enjoy as much time as I can with my angel on earth.
Andy returns to the bedroom with two water bottles, ourbag of leftover sushi, and a familiar black leather strap around her body. The sight of my guitar peeking over her shoulder brings a grin to my lips as I sit up, adjusting myself so my back is against the headboard and the blanket covers my naked lap.
Still wearing her robe, Andy climbs onto the bed beside me on her knees and spreads out the food before setting a fork beside me. Carefully, she pulls the strap over her head, handing me the black guitar.
“Play for me.” She sits facing me, the food spread between us as she grabs a fork of her own. I adjust the guitar on my lap, holding it in my arms as my fingers strum over the familiar chords, eyes never leaving hers.
"I didn't have chopsticks, so a fork will have to do," she says, brushing the loose strands of hair out of her face, a flash of red in her hair making me nearly choke on my saliva and burst into laughter.
She blinks, looking at me in confusion. "What?" She wipes her hands over her face. "Do I have something on my face?"
I shake my head, a smirk spreading across my lips. "Did you look at your hair while you were in the bathroom?" I know the answer before she responds. Of course, she hasn't because if she'd seen the red thong in her hair used as a hair tie, she would've thrown it at me after promptly removing it.
"What's wrong with my hair?"
"Nothing, baby, it's beautiful."
She scoffs, eyes rolling as she quickly removes her hair from the bun. Her eyes flash with confusion when she realizes what she thought was a hair tie isn't.
Unwrapping her curls from the red thong, she pulls the piece of fabric between us, eyes wide in horror at the sight. "What the fuck?" Her eyes narrow into a glare, and she tosses the fabric into my face, which I happily accept.
Catching it in the air, I inhale her scent to my nose. My cock comes alive beneath the sheet, ready for another touch or taste of Andy's sweetness. She watches me with wide eyes, blushing at the sight of me openly sniffing her used panties.
"Fuck, you smell so damn good."
"You're such a creep," she teases, and there’s no conviction behind her tone.
"Look what your scent does to me." Holding up the guitar, I push the sheet off my lap and reveal my bare cock hard between my legs. It’s laying on my stomach heavily. Dark eyes fixate on my length, her pink tongue coming out to lick her pouty lips. "Put that tongue away, baby. Might be tempted to make you put it to use and run it along this dick."
Andy's eyes meet mine, a slow smirk spreading across her lips as her tongue once again pokes out and traces over her lips, the action slow and so fucking erotic.
God, this girl is going to be the death of me.
Turning to face me, she leans in while allowing her robe to fall open, revealing her soft naked body. "Maybe if you're a good boy, I'll let you put this hard cock in my mouth," she says in a sultry tone, breath fanning across my lips as she speaks.
"I'll make you count the inches as I take you deep into my throat, licking and sucking your cock until you're begging for me to let you come." She leans closer to me and presses her lips against mine for the briefest moment, pulling away before I can return the kiss. "Only when you're begging me to come because you can't take it anymore, I'll decide if you've been a good enough boy to deserve it. You can fill my mouth if you do, and I'll swallow every drop." She presses her lips to mine, forcing her tongue inside my mouth.
She pulls back after a moment. "Mmmm, I can taste myself on your tongue." She kisses me again, then flashes me a smile before settling into her spot, her attention on the box of sushi she pulls onto her lap while I lay there stunned, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
Where the fuck did the shy girl go?
Andy takes my dick a couple times and suddenly becomes a filthy-mouthed little temptress who can put me in my place and leave me speechless.
"Play for me, Dec." She opens the plastic container and stabs one of the leftover rolls with her fork, bringing the piece to her lips that I'm aching to have around my cock again.
Damn, I'm going to have my hands full with this girl.
"You're going to just leave me… hard?" She turns her head to look at me long enough for me to see her roll her pretty brown eyes before turning her attention back toward her food tray.
Leaning into her, I press my lips against her bare shoulder, slowly pulling the robe down until it’s around her waist, and her heavy tits are exposed. "That's okay, mama. Two can play that game." I trail my lips up her neck, satisfaction coming over me at the sight of goosebumps on her brown skin.
Once I reach her neck, her breath hitches, and I place a single kiss along her jaw before pulling away and returning my back to the headboard.
Clearing my throat, I adjust the chords, then slowly begin to strum the tune to a song I’ve been working on. Keeping my smoky voice low, I fill the silence of the room with the melody of my voice and guitar.
Your brown eyes are haunting me.
If I had a heart, it would be yours.
You’re bringing me back to life to live a life I don’t deserve.
If I had a future, it would be yours.
As I sing the words, my gaze never leaves the brown eyes staring back at me. My lips are parted as she takes in every word I say. Silently, I set the guitar on the side of the bed, propping it carefully against the nightstand, and then I grab the fork and dive into the leftover sushi spread out across the bed.
“That was beautiful, Declan,” she says, gaze meeting mine again. A smile spreads across my lips, but I don’t respond, suddenly feeling too vulnerable and desperate for a change in conversation.
We eat in silence for a few minutes before I clear my throat, moving my body to sit at the foot of the bed so I can have a perfect view of her bare tits. Her perfect brown nipples are pebbled and hard for me.
"So, Cole is having a barbeque at his house on Sunday. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me. Everyone would love to meet you." I should've invited her sooner when Cole told me about it, but I had wanted to wait until I could ask her in person. It's short notice and likely putting her on the spot, but at least it doesn't allow her time to come up with an excuse and overthink it.
"In Vegas?" She wrinkles her brows. "I don't think that's a great idea. I have work on Monday morning."
I nod, already having thought about her schedule. "I know, and we'll be back early enough that you'll get enough sleep. It's at noon." Cole's girlfriend works early on Monday as well and couldn't take the day off, so they decided to have it early enough that everyone would be able to attend.
I open my mouth, prepared to convince her to say yes, but she surprises me. "Okay, I'll go."
"Fuck yeah, mama. Are you serious?"
"Will all your bandmates be there?"
I nod. "Yup. Adam, Cole, and his girl who is bringing her sister and her kids, Benny, Damon, and whoever the fuck he brings. It'll be pretty chill with it just being us." Intimate gatherings with those I consider family is exactly what I fucking need, and it's important to me that these heathens know how special Andy is. How much I both want and need her in my life .
"What about Max?" she asks, grabbing the bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip.
"She'll come with us, of course. Cole's girlfriend's sister has twins who will be there, so Max will have kids to play with. I'm unsure how old they are, but they'll have fun."
"Let's do it, as long as we're back early enough for me to go to bed." I place my hand across my chest, nodding sincerely.
"Yes, ma'am. Cross my heart, you will return in time for your six o'clock bedtime." She laughs, tossing the gray throw pillow at my chest. It lands in my lap, and I wrap my arms around it.
"I also wanted to talk to you about something you said the other night that got me thinking." Setting her fork down, she ignores the remaining sushi and gives me her undivided attention.
"Now I'm nervous. What did I say?"
"You mentioned that you were Riot's biggest fan and how much you've been stalking my band and fingering yourself every night while watching our videos." She snorts, laughter erupting from her. She flips me off, wiping away imaginary tears. "For real, though, I want you there. I want to see your face when I look out into the crowd Friday night."
She inhales sharply, her jaw falling open. "You're asking me to attend your concert?" I've been thinking about it since Benny dropped the bomb that I'd be back on stage sooner than expected. One fucking week until I return in front of a screaming crowd and have to give them a piece of my soul while remaining sober.
"I am, mama. I need you there. Need to know that you're watching me." When I get off that stage, I'm the most vulnerable, and all I want to do is be able to lose myself in my girl rather than drugs and alcohol.
"I'm honored that you'd want me there, Declan. That means a lot to me." A shy, hidden smile comes across her lips. "Can't believe I'm going to see my favorite band live." She pauses, seeming to think for a moment before continuing. "Actually, I can't fucking believe that I'm dating the lead singer of my favorite band."
"The concert will go pretty late. Can you stay the night in Vegas with me?"
She thinks for a moment, clearly considering her options for Max. Finally, she nods. "I'm pretty sure. I'll check and make it work." She laughs humorlessly. "Is this real life?"
Reaching over, I pinch her thigh. She hisses, pushes my hand away, and rubs the spot I just pinched.
"What the hell was that for?"
"Just making sure this is real life and not a dream."
"You're an idiot."
I shrug. "Maybe. But you agreed to be mine, so who is the real idiot?"
Returning to the sushi, she grabs her fork and resumes eating. "I'll ask Lucy to babysit."
"I'll pay her," I tell her.
She shakes her head. "No, I will. Max is my kid."
"Yes, but I'm asking you to visit Vegas with me and spend the night. I will pay for babysitting."
She nods, giving in easily. I don't mind paying. I know I have more money than she does, and I'm asking her to be there for me. It's not right that she should have to pay.
"Check with Lucy, and then let me know. I was thinking I could have David pick you up Friday after work, bring you to the venue, and then take you back Saturday afternoon."
"Shouldn't be a problem, but I'll find out. Lucy has offered to keep Max many times, and like me, she could also use the money."
Picking my fork back up, I dive into the sushi, the weight on my shoulders feeling lighter than it has all week.
There's no possible way I'll use or drink with her there. But that's not the only reason I want her there.
"Thank you, Andy."
"For what?"
"For being willing to make it work with childcare for me so you can be there for me. You have no idea how much that means to me." It's been years since I've had someone standing in the crowd just for me. Waiting for me. There to support me.
"You don't have to thank me, Declan. You said I'm yours, and that means showing up for each other." She shrugs, acting as if it's not a big deal. "Besides, I'm the real winner here. I get to watch my favorite band live for the first time," she teases, giving me a wink.
All I want is to remain in the bubble we've created tonight, by Andy's side, safe from the demons in my head and the voices from the outside world, but I know it's not possible because guys like me don’t deserve a happy ending.
My hands were made for destruction, and everything I touch crumbles.
I ruined my family and stole my son’s life because I was too selfish.
I don’t deserve to live happily ever after.
Our downfall is inevitable.