Chapter 5
Hayleigh
All night I’ve waited for Nate to ask me about the phone call with my mother, how I feel about Pete, or what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, but he hasn’t.
He doesn’t look at me with pity in his eyes; he doesn’t push any questions or ultimatums on me.
So when he asked if I wanted to continue the night with some karaoke, I couldn’t find a reason to say no, and now I’m glad I didn’t because wow, the guy is making me swoon, and that’s very hard to do nowadays.
Oh boy, Nate Peterson is honestly full of surprises. This past year, he’s become less and less annoying and more…intriguing, and now, to add to that, I find out that the guy can sing. Now, I don’t mean like he can hold a tune, I mean he can hold a whole room entranced in his voice.
He finishes the last song, something about being a simple man, and when he sits down and takes a swig of his beer, I wait patiently. He eyes me over the bottle as he lowers it, then looks around. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I laugh. “Are you kidding me right now? We’ve been friends now for over a year, and you hide that talent?”
He blushes! Then shrugs. “Cas has the dance moves, and I have the voice. It’s no big deal.
” I go to open my mouth, but he stops me.
“It’s not, but if you want to know my hopes, dreams and secrets, then it’s only fair I know yours.
” He makes it sound like an offhanded comment, but to me it isn’t.
It’s one more person wanting something from me, wanting to know the ins and outs of every little thing, and I… can’t.
“Forget it.” I stand from the table and grab my bag, but Nate’s quicker.
His hand closes around my wrist, gently holding me in place. “I’m not asking for everything, I only want to help.” His eyes are so earnest that it makes me want to give in, but that feeling of betrayal rises because Pete was also earnest once.
I shake my head. “I can’t give you what you want, Nate. That isn’t me anymore.”
He let go of my hand. “Friendship? Because that’s all I’m asking, I know I flirt, and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t, my brain isn’t very good at keeping it in, but all of that will stop if you want it to. I want to be your friend and help you.”
“It’s not that easy.” I could never be just friends with someone like Nate; he’d wear down my walls too quickly, too easily, and where would that leave me?
“It really is that easy. We can start small with the list. We can write down everything that you want to do to make you smile, and we can work through them one by one.”
I look away as the tears sting my eyes and my stupid heart betrays me. Say yes, Hayleigh. I look back at Nate, so at ease with everything that I wonder sometimes if anything phases him.
He’s always happy and smiling, he doesn’t catastrophise or lose his cool and suddenly I find myself sitting back down.
He waves at one of the servers walking past. She makes her way over, a dreamy look in her eye. “Hey. Can I just say that OMG you were amazing up there, like, totally amazing.” She giggles and blushes, and I roll my eyes.
Nate throws a wink at her, and something ugly churns in my gut as he leans on one hand and smiles at her.
“Thank you…” He looks at her badge. “Stacey. Can you get me and my friend here a couple of Jell-O shots, a whiskey sour and a bottle of beer? Oh, and a piece of paper and a pen.” He throws another wink, and I swear to god if he does that one more time, he will be permanently winking when I poke his eye with my straw!
She doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m there. Talk about girl power. Instead, she giggles again. “Sure, handsome.” She saunters off, swaying her hips like a fucking pendulum.
Nate sniggers, and my eyes go to him. “Shortcake, did you realise your face has subtitles?”
My hand dives into the bowl of peanuts on the table between us before I flick one right at his forehead. “Didn’t realise you enjoyed having a fan club.”
His mouth drops open. “First of all, ouch and second, are you jealous?”
I roll my eyes; my entire head moves with them. “Oh, please, as if.”
He narrows his eyes and then nods while smiling to himself. Stupid idiot, and oh great, his number one fan is back.
She places the drinks on the table, and I swear to god there is no need for her to be bending in half to place them down.
Then she takes the pad from the front pocket of her waist apron and pulls the pen from her cleavage.
“There you go.” Her voice is breathy, and a giggle escapes her lips as he takes them from her, then in a moment she’s gone.
“I am not touching that pen! Where does she keep her phone? Her vagina? And what was with the giggles? Is she a fucking Teletubby?” I am outraged. On his behalf, of course, she was totally objectifying him, and he didn’t invite that behaviour. It isn’t because I’m jealous.
Absolutely not. Ludicrous.
I can see him trying not to laugh at my outburst as he clicks the lid of the pen and poises it over the paper.
“Okay. This is how it’s going to work. You’re going to take a shot, and then you’re going to tell me one thing you want to do most in the world.
Without any context behind it. If you choose to share more, great; if you don’t, that’s okay. ”
I immediately relax at that idea, and a small crack forms in those walls around me.
I pick up a neon blue shot and down it. I think for a moment that all of those drinking sessions when I was younger paid off, but then the flavour hits my tongue, and the alcohol burns a trail down my throat. I cough and splutter. Very sexy.
I wipe my eyes. “Holy shit, what was in that?”
“It’s best you don’t know. Okay, first item on the list without thinking. Go.”
“I want my own place.” I surprise myself.
He nods for me to take another shot, but I want him to know why.
So I swallow the taste, and I’m not sure if it was the shot or the churning nerves.
“I want somewhere that’s mine, fresh and new.
Somewhere that he wasn’t. I want it to need work and not because I necessarily want to do the work, but I want to make it mine from the ground up. ”
He writes something down on the list, smiling. “I like that.” No pushing, no analysing. Acceptance.
I pick up a luminous yellow shot, the colour reminding me of the medicine I used to have to take as a kid if I were poorly.
They lied and said it was a banana, but it definitely wasn’t.
The shot glides down my throat, and I’m surprised at the pineapple flavour that follows.
I look at Nate and smile. “I want to learn something new. I don’t know what, but I want to learn. ”
He scribbles that down too and points to another shot.
I pick it up, green and toxic-looking, and I raise my brow at him. “You too, Mr X-Factor. Tell me something you’ve never told anyone before.”
“Does outside my family count, because I’m a pretty open book?
” He shrugs, and I nod. “I…struggle with things sometimes. Growing up, I was always told by teachers and coaches that I was too much and stupid because I’d mix things up and other stuff.
It was only when my mum got me some help that I was diagnosed as being dyslexic.
” He takes a swig of his beer but doesn’t look at me.
“Thank you for telling me.” I down the toxic green sludge. “I want to do a safari.”
Nate bursts out laughing at this one. “Why a safari?”
“When I was a kid, my granddad would talk about all of the other countries he had been to and all of the things he had seen, and nothing stuck out more to me than seeing animals in the wild. Not cooped up in a zoo, but where we’re the ones in a tin can, and they’re roaming free, but growing up, we didn’t have time for holidays, so-” A flash of pity flickers across his face, so I shake my head.
“No. Don’t throw any pitying looks my way. ”
He writes it down, then takes another drink of his beer. “I always wanted to see icebergs when I was a kid, and I was furious when my mum said we couldn’t.” His face is so serious that it makes me laugh.
“Icebergs? Why?”
He shrugs. “Kate and Leo. Next shot.” Wow, no messing around with him then.
I knock back another of the yellow shots. “I want to learn how to cook, and I don’t mean simple things, I mean I want to learn how to make fancy-sounding dishes that I can’t even pronounce.”
“Cooking class. Got it.” He writes it down. “Did your mum never teach you?”
Like a bucket of iced water has been thrown over me, I sober. The lightheaded feeling of fun disappears at the mere mention of my mother. I shake my head. “Nope. I’m going to the bathroom.”
I leave Nate sitting at our table, his shoulders slumped, and his brows pulled together in confusion.
Part of me wants to go back and apologise for rushing away and cutting him off, but I don’t.
I push through the doors to the bathroom and stand over the sink, hanging my head as my hands hold me up.
I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Willing myself not to cry.
Memories of being my mother's daughter are suddenly assaulting me from all sides.
Her expectations, her cutting words, the pressure–did I deserve that?
Did I deserve any of this? And naturally, because my brain is fucking cruel, I think of Pete.
Another person on the endless list of people who have dramatically altered my life.
But I'm the common theme here, right? Is it my fault? Did all of this happen because of me?
The door bangs against the wall, the noise reverberating around the room, and my head snaps up as Nate stalks in behind me.
His head dips under the doorframe, his broad shoulders filling it, his strong chest rising and falling as he stares at me through the mirror.
My eyes widen, but I don’t move; I’m rooted to the spot.
“You can’t be in here, Nate. This is the ladies' bathroom.”
He’s directly behind me now, looking at my reflection. “No shit, Sherlock. You left me, why?” I open my mouth to rebuff him, to deny it, but he cuts me off, shaking his head. “Don’t lie to me, Hayleigh.”
Oh god, why did he have to say my name? My cheeks flush.
His eyes zero in, and he moves closer, and suddenly I’m a mouse caught in the sights of the cat.
He takes his hand and brushes my hair from the side of my face and over my shoulder, baring my neck.
He brings his face close to my ear, still looking at me through the mirror, and he whispers.
“Why are you shaking, Hayleigh?” His brow furrows as his deep timbre vibrates through me.
I shrug a shoulder, not trusting my words, but my body gives me away as I push further back into him.
Ever so gently, he traces a finger from my cheek and down my neck, the trail lighting a fire in my veins as my eyes fall closed, and then I feel it. The lightest touch, a brush of his lips on my neck. The pleasure that zings through me is both exquisite and intense.
When I open my eyes again, my cheeks are flushed, my chest heaving, and Nate bites gently where my neck meets my shoulders. A moan escapes my lips, and Nate’s eyes flash up to mine, uncertainty swirling in them before he pulls away.
I almost want him to move back, but he shifts my jacket back in place. I hadn’t even noticed it was off my shoulder, then smiles at me in the mirror. “I think you shake because I scare your heart, but I won't always.”
When he walks out of the bathroom, my knees almost buckle, and I breathe easy again, but that throbbing ache between my legs is still full force even as I make my way back to the table, the heady feeling of his lips on my skin still scorching my insides.
I sit, and Nate carries on like everything is normal and fine. He points to the whiskey sour. “Drink up, you’re up next.”
“Huh?” Oh god, Hayleigh, what the hell are you doing? Use your words, you doofus!
“You’re up next. I signed you up to sing. What’s next on your list?”
That heady feeling he gave me? Gone. “I can tell you what isn’t on my list, Nate. I am not singing!”
He nods. “Oh, yes, you are. It’s a good song, I promise.”
I knock back the whiskey sour and gag. What the hell? Might as well do it, life is too short. I point at the list. “I want the ability to say no to my mother.”
The DJ calls my name, and I stand, well, I sway.
When I walk away, Nate starts hollering and whooping as I take my place on the stage, and suddenly this doesn’t seem like a good idea at all.
It’s the eyeballs, they’re freaking me out, there are too many people looking at me, but then right in front of me is a familiar pair of eyes.
Nate.
The music starts, it’s Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Want To Have Fun, and a genuine laugh bubbles up.
I belt out some version of it, and although I sound like a cat on a hot tin roof, you never would have guessed it, the way Nate Peterson is dancing around like a maniac and singing the words along with me.
As the song finishes, he hops up on the stage and grabs me, twirling me around as I scream and laugh. We walk back to the table and see Archie is waiting for us, looking the grumpiest I have ever seen him.
Nate throws his hands up. “How did you know where we’d be?”
Archie waggles his phone. “Life360 idiot!”
Nate’s brows draw together. “I don’t have Life360.”
The look on Archie’s face has me smothering my laugh. “Well, you might not have installed it on your phone or signed up, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have it.”
Nate looks at me in shock. “Do you see what I have to put up with?”
I hold my hands up in surrender as I take a seat next to Archie. “Hey, don’t involve me in this. I am impartial, Annie.” The sad look on Archie’s face pulls at my heartstrings. “Aww, but look at him, Nate, look how sad he is?”
“Those puppy dog eyes won't work on me, Archie.” Nate folds his arms and stares his brother down, but Archie doesn’t move. In fact, his bottom lip sticks out, and he tilts his head, and I see the moment Nate gives in. “Fine. I’m sorry for leaving you high and hanging out, you can stay.”
Archie rubs his hands together, smiling from ear to ear. “Great.” Then he turns to me and suddenly looks serious. “I cannot believe you sang Cyndi without me. I thought we were friends?”
I throw my arms around him. “I’m sorry, we are friends. How about some Shania?”
Archie jumps up. “I’ll go sign us up. Nate, I want a Sex on the Beach, then all is forgiven.” He bounces off, and I have no idea how a man so big can be so graceful.
Nate sits down next to me and nudges me with his shoulder. “Thank you for that.”
I look around, unsure of what he means. “I don’t know what you mean. Thank you for what?”
“For being his friend.” He places a quick kiss on my cheek. So fast, I wonder if I'm almost imagining it.
Oh, Nate, what are you doing to me?