Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
TOBIAS BARRETT
I check the clock. It’s ten-thirty. Why isn’t Kiki home yet? I’m sitting in the family room and everyone else has gone to bed except Noah, who’s at work. I feel fidgety and nervous for some reason, which doesn’t make any sense. Maybe Levi’s words have gotten to me. I keep playing Kiki’s interactions with Noah in my mind, and I don’t like it. Does Noah really like her that way?
The thought of Noah and Kiki on a date makes me queasy. I imagine them holding hands, getting cuddly, and my fists clench. If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want Noah anywhere near Kiki because I want to be the one near her. I sigh and shove a hand through my hair. Levi’s right. I like her, but it’s more than that. We have a connection. I just keep feeling like it’s wrong to explore it. Is Levi correct in thinking I’m trying to shield myself from pain because of Courtney?
The front door opens, and I suddenly don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Do I stand? Turn on the TV? It looks stupid, me sitting in the family room, waiting for her to walk in, so I grab a book and open it to the middle. I stare at the page as I listen to her footsteps, holding the book up so she’ll think I’m reading. She enters the room. “I’m home.”
I stare at my book like I’m finishing the page before I look up and nod at her. “Thanks for letting me know.”
She scrunches her nose. “Why are you reading a crossword puzzle dictionary?”
I close the book slowly, cursing Noah and his love for crossword puzzles. “I was looking something up.” I toss it back onto the end table.
“Ah. Okay.” She turns to leave, and I panic. I want more time with her. I want to talk with her and touch her again. I want her to tell me more about her life.
“Would you like me to make you some tea?” I blurt.
She shakes her head. “I’ve had enough tea, thanks.”
I stand, not knowing what else there is to say to make her stay with me. She doesn’t leave, though, and that gives me some courage. “Want to sit on the porch?”
“Actually, I was going to sneak out back and walk along the beach. It’s so pretty at night.”
“Oh.” I look down at the hardwood floors.
She fiddles with her fingers. “Want to come?”
It’s been a long time since I walked along the beach, mostly because that was something Courtney and I would do, and it feels tainted. But maybe it’s time to make new memories there. “Only if I’m not imposing.”
“You’re not,” she says quickly. “I’d like the company.”
“All right.” I look down at my jeans and white button-up shirt. “Mind if I change first?”
She smiles at me, and I see a hidden glee behind it. “Go ahead.”
I go upstairs to my room and change into a black t-shirt and shorts, knowing Kiki’s going to flip. Contrary to what she thinks, I do own casual clothes. I find her in the kitchen, waiting for me.
“Wow, Tobias,” she says as she pushes off the counter. “You’re looking more and more like a real person.”
I walk over to her. “I’m not a real person?” The thought occurs to me that I could show her I’m not made of cotton. I’m made of flesh and blood, like she is. My gaze dips to her lips. It might be fun to show her that. But I take a step back and shove that thought out of my head. Stupid Levi giving me ideas.
She laughs. “You’re getting there. Love the shirt.”
I look down and realize I’m wearing a shirt Micah got for me last Christmas. It says, “I used to be a people person…but people ruined that for me.”
She walks out the back door, and I fall into step beside her. We’re barefoot, and I’ve forgotten how good it feels to let the sand sift between my toes. It’s still warm out, but the sand is cool and the breeze off the water feels nice. She heads straight for the water. I walk beside her on the wet sand.
“Did you have a good time at Ellie’s?”
“Yes. We talked about all kinds of great ideas for the gallery.” As she tells me about their conversations, she gets animated, and I know she’s excited to try to pump life into the gallery.
“Pairing up with the vineyard is a great idea,” I say. “I think the gallery clientele will love a wine tasting.” A wave comes and washes over my feet. It’s cool, but not unpleasant.
“Ellie sent an email off to that artist she knows, so hopefully that will work out.” Kiki clasps her hands together in front of her. “I’m excited about the classes. I’ve always wanted to play with paints.”
“You’re quite talented. I think you’d be a great artist.”
She looks up at me. “What do you mean? When have you seen my art?”
“The castle you built. You drew all over the cardboard and made it look like a real castle.”
She laughs and waves away my suggestion. “That was just silly. I was playing with Skyler.”
“Do you think you could make other things with cardboard?” I hadn’t stopped thinking about what Levi had said about manufacturing and selling them.
“Like what?” A large wave hits our legs, and she grabs hold of my arm and laughs, doing a little dance in the water.
I smile. She has a childlike quality that I find adorable. She’s being free with me right now, and it’s refreshing. I like how her touch feels, but she pulls away too soon.
“What about a clubhouse or something?” I say.
Her eyes light up. “Ooh, yes. Or a rocket ship, or a car? A train would be fun, I could make different train cars for it.” She whacks my arm. “Or how about a lemonade stand? Skyler would love that.”
I smile at her enthusiasm. “Yes. Do you think you could make some designs for me?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Designs?”
“Like, draw them out. Make patterns for those things.”
She cocks her head to the side. “I could build them if you give me enough cardboard.”
I nod as I step over a pile of seaweed that has washed up on shore. “That would work. I could get someone to make patterns from the prototypes.”
She stops and turns to me. Her face is lit in the moonlight, and I love the freckles that sprinkle across her cheeks and how her nose turns up at the end. “Prototypes? What are you talking about?”
“I think Levi is right. I think you could make these and sell them.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “No way.”
“I’m serious. This could be a great business.” Some strands of her hair have come out of her messy bun, and I itch to push them gently back behind her ear.
“I can’t do that. I know nothing about owning a business. And I’d need money to do that. I have no money.”
My gaze slides over her features. I ache to touch her, but I’m afraid of how she would react. “Have you forgotten what I do for a living?”
She presses her lips together and contemplates my words. Finally, she shakes her head. “I can’t ask you to invest in me.”
“I invest in people all the time. People who have great products and great ideas. People who I know won’t let me down. You have all of that.”
She turns from me. “No, I don’t.”
The mood has shifted, and emotion that I don’t understand clouds her voice. I reach out and grab her wrist, gently pulling her toward me. “Kiki,” I say. I don’t know what I’m doing, but the second she turns back to me, and I see tears in her eyes, I pull her to my chest.
She stiffens for a split second before she melts into my embrace. I hold her close to me as my heartbeat hammers loud in my ears. “What’s the matter?” I whisper softly into her hair.
She doesn’t say anything, but she’s quietly crying, and I don’t understand what I did to upset her. I feel bold, and I press my lips to the top of her head. Her hair smells like lilacs and the ocean. I breathe in her scent.
“I’m sorry if I said something offensive. I didn’t mean to.”
“No, you didn’t,” she says into my chest.
I hold her until she stops crying. I gently stroke her back. I’m unsure if it helps her feel better, but I don’t know what else to do, and I hate to see her upset like this. I want to know what’s wrong, but I’m getting the feeling she isn’t going to tell me.
She finally pulls back from me, and I let her go. I look into her watery eyes. They mirror the ocean, deep blue, and hold emotions I can’t understand. Unable to control myself any longer, I reach up and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. I slowly cup her jaw, sliding my hand over her skin. It’s soft, and I glide my thumb over her cheek. It feels so good my breath catches.
She closes her eyes and leans into my touch. My thumb catches a tear as it falls down her cheek. “Please don’t cry,” I whisper. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”
Waves lap at our feet as we stand in the moonlight. Kiki opens her eyes. “I wish you could, but you can’t.”
“Tell me what it is. Let me be the judge of that.”
She takes my hands in hers. “You’re a good person, Tobias.”
I think about how Kiki is with Skyler, how she’s so much better with her than Courtney ever was. She’s loving and kind. She’s one-hundred-percent there for her. And I want that for Sky. I selfishly want it for me, too. “So are you.”
She shakes her head. “No. I’ve done things…” She lets go of me and turns away.
I reach for her, tilting her face toward me. She’s talking about whatever it was that made her parents disown her, and it breaks my heart. “I don’t care what you’ve done. I don’t care who you were. I only care about who you are now.”
I stare down at her as the salty breeze blows over us. The smell of the ocean mixes with a smokey fragrance, probably from a bonfire in the area. She searches my gaze. “Really?” she whispers.
“Really,” I say, and I mean it. Her face is bathed in moonlight, and I can’t help but see her as the woman I’ve come to know over these last few days. The woman who treats Skyler like she’s the most important thing in the world. The woman who is slowly changing me…making me want to open up again.
I cup her face with both my hands, taking a step until her lips are so close I can feel her breath. “I’m insanely attracted to you right now.”
She slow blinks at me. “Me too.” It comes out so quietly I barely hear her.
I inch closer to her. I want to kiss her so badly I can’t think straight. I wait to get her silent permission. When she closes the distance, I lose all control and take command of the kiss.