Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
TOBIAS BARRETT
A s the movie plays, Kiki seems to get closer and closer to me, and I’m not sure if it’s subconscious or not but when her head finally touches my shoulder, I about lose it. I look down at her and her eyes are closed. Oh. She’s fallen asleep. She wasn’t snuggling with me.
It’s just an accident. I shift a little and she snuggles in deeper. I don’t disturb her. The movie is almost done, anyway. I keep my arm on the back of the couch, even though I’d love to pull her in closer. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want that kind of a relationship.
As the credits roll, I notice Skyler’s also asleep. It’s nine-thirty and I usually put her to bed at nine, so that makes sense. I try to slowly disengage myself from Kiki without waking her, but it doesn’t work. She sits up and yawns. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes. And so did Skyler.”
“Aw,” she says, scooping Skyler up. “I’ll help you get her into bed.”
We go up the stairs to her bedroom. Sky wakes as Kiki sets her down on the bed. “Let’s get you in your pajamas,” Kiki says softly.
“Okay.”
I’m amazed she doesn’t protest, which is her normal mode of operation. She must be too sleepy to object to bedtime. We help her into her bluey pajamas and Kiki tucks her in.
After we get downstairs, Kiki turns to me. “Do you want some herbal tea? I can make some.”
“I can make herbal tea,” I say, throwing her own words back at her. I’m teasing, yet a part of me is asking her if she really wants to spend time with me…alone.
She laughs. “Alright, I deserve that.”
I lean against the banister. The awkwardness from earlier in the day has mostly dissipated, but I don’t know where I stand with her and it’s bothering me. I fold my arms. “I have to be honest with you. I’m not one to play games.”
She lifts her eyebrows and slides her hands in her back pockets. “Not even Monopoly?” She glances around the house. “You seem like a Boardwalk and Parkway kind of guy.”
I chuckle under my breath, even though I’m still confused about her signals. “Do you really want to spend time with me tonight?”
Her expression grows serious and her gaze falls. “I like talking to you. I want us to be friends. Is that possible?”
Friends. That’s what she wants? I take in a deep breath and try to figure out if I can handle that. Kissing Kiki was amazing, and ever since last night I’ve had a hard time concentrating on anything else. When we’re in the same room, she sucks the breath out of me. I feel an energy I haven’t had since I was a teenager. Can I tamp that down and sit next to her on the porch swing like a gentleman?
If I say no, I’m the one cutting off any kind of relationship with her. That’s not what I want. I’d rather be friends than ignore her while she’s living in my home and taking care of my child.
“All right,” I finally say. “Let’s be friends.”
“Okay, then. I’ll make us some herbal tea, and you can wait for me on the porch swing.”
I go outside and flick on the lights that hang overhead. I sit down on the swing and unbutton my top button on my shirt. For some reason, it feels too constricting all of a sudden. I look out over the moonlit ocean and try not to think about how it felt to kiss Kiki as the waves washed over our feet.
I fiddle with my sleeves, as I’ve had them rolled up since I did the dishes. Kiki comes out with our mugs of tea. “Leave them.”
“What?”
“Leave your sleeves up.” She sits next to me. “It shows a more relaxed side of you.”
I take the mug from her and take a sip. It’s a little too hot, so I lower it. “A relaxed side of me, huh?”
“If you have to wear business attire, might as well be more comfortable in it.” She kicks the swing into motion.
A light breeze is blowing, and it feels nice. I sit back and let the sound of the waves calm me. The lights from a ship are slowly moving across the horizon, and I watch it as we sit quietly.
“I was worried that you were going to fire me today,” Kiki finally says.
I jerk my gaze to her. “Fire you? Why would I do that?”
She shrugs. “Because of…last night.”
I exhale, once again feeling guilty for what I did. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I started it. I was the one that kissed you first.” She looks down at her hands. “If you want me to leave, I’ll understand.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” That’s the last thing I want. I’ve only known Kiki for five days, but I can’t imagine going back to the way things were before she came here, and not just because she’s been amazing with Skyler.
“I mean, I’m not even that great of a nanny.”
“What?” I’m too shocked to even know what to say.
“I totally made that stuff up, about me working at a daycare.” Kiki stares down at her lap and I can’t help but laugh.
“Did you think I believed you? A famous daycare center? Come on.” I nudge her elbow. “But you’re wrong if you think you’re not a good nanny.”
She looks up at me, the emotion clear in her eyes. “Really?”
“You’re great with Sky. I mean, amazing. And I’m not just saying that. Skyler adores you.”
She takes a sip of her tea. “I kind of feel like I’m making things up as I go.”
I laugh, because she just described every parent, everywhere. “That’s exactly how I feel.”
Her eyes widen. “But you’re so good with your daughter.”
I shake my head. “I mess up sometimes, just like everyone else. I’m learning as I go. The important thing is that I care.” I cup my fingers around my mug, the breeze turning cooler, and I look at her. “You care, and that’s what Skyler sees.”
“But you look like you have it all together.” She sighs.
“Looks can be deceiving.”
She seems to take that in. We sit silent for a while as we swing and look out at the stars hanging over the ocean. “Ellie called me today.”
Kiki perks up. “Oh?”
“She said she got that watercolor artist to agree to come out for the gallery. I think her name is Mackenzie Davenport. She’s bringing her fiancé, too, which Ellie seemed very excited about.”
Kiki tilts her head. “Wait, who did you say?”
“Mackenzie Davenport.”
“You’re kidding,” she says as she slaps the swing. “No way!”
“Who is that?”
“She’s that woman who was on the celebrity news. She’s engaged to Dustin Sawyer.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know who that is.”
“The lead from Catching Cupid? Destination Romance? Do you not like modern movies? Do you not watch television?” She scrunches her nose at me, and my insides flip. I know I should keep myself at a professional distance, but I’m still insanely attracted to Kiki.
I shrug. “I usually don’t have time to watch movies or TV. Tonight was the first movie I’ve seen in at least a year. Most of the TV I watch is Bluey.”
Kiki laughs. “Well, Dustin Sawyer is a famous actor. And Ellie said he’s coming here? That’s amazing! When are they coming?”
“Next week. They’re coming for the festival.”
“What?” She jumps off the swing, and I worry that her tea will spill. “We’ve got to get some publicity going. That’s not enough time. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We need to advertise. We need to make posters and hang them around town.”
I chuckle at her. “Josephine and Ellie are already doing all of that. I gave them a thousand-dollar budget for publicity.”
“Oh.” She sits back down beside me. “Good. Because that’s like a huge deal.”
“I guess so. No wonder Ellie seemed excited.”
“Have they thought of radio interviews? Facebook ads? Getting influencers involved?”
“You can ask Ellie. I’m sure she’d like the help.”
“Okay. I’ll call her tomorrow. I’ll just have to borrow your phone.”
“That’s not a problem. By the way, I ordered you a phone. It should be here Saturday.”
“Why did you do that?”
Her voice has an edge to it, and I don’t know why. “Because I want to be able to get a hold of you.”
She sips from her mug, both hands around it. “You didn’t need to do that. Phones are expensive. What if I’m not here that long?”
The hairs on the back of my neck raise. “Are you planning on leaving?”
She avoids my gaze. “No.”
My internal lie detector goes off. I slowly drink the rest of my tea, and I set the mug down on the table next to the swing. Why would she want to leave? Was our kiss that invasive? Is she still feeling uncomfortable? Maybe I just don’t know enough about her to figure her out, which reminds me, she hasn’t given me her paperwork.
I nudge her shoulder. “Did you fill out the paperwork I gave you?”
She cringes. “I can’t find the papers. I might have thrown them away by accident. Can you get me some more?”
“Sure. I’ll print them out in the morning.”
I look down at the tattoo on her wrist and remember everything Kiki’s said about her past. She hasn’t told me details, but I know she’s got a lot of pain she’s dealt with. “A phoenix means rebirth, doesn’t it?”
She lifts her arm and turns it so I have a better view. “Yeah.”
“Why is it crying?”
“I lost someone.” She swallows, and I can tell she’s struggling with her emotions. “And it was my fault.”