Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28
TOBIAS BARRETT
“ N o?” I ask, my heart pounding.
Kiki shakes her head. Her face is flushed, and she’s having trouble meeting my gaze, but she’s not running away from me anymore. At least, not right now. I want to ask her questions, but I don’t want to push her away from me. I want more of the closeness we’ve had today.
“Do you really want to watch some old family videos?”
She smiles up at me. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
We go into the family room, and I dig around in the bottom of the console. I find the box with the old DVDs in it, and I flip through them until I find one from the year I was thirteen. It’s the one most likely to have the footage from the graveyard. I stick it in the DVD player and grab the remote.
I sit next to Kiki on the couch and turn on the TV. Our backyard shows on the screen, and my brothers and I appear running around with a football.
Kiki elbows me. “Is that you? Oh, my goodness, look at you! You’re so cute.”
She’s lying. No one is cute at thirteen. I’m gangly and awkward, but I grin and put my arm on the back of the couch. “You think so?”
She snuggles into my side. “Of course. But be quiet. I want to hear this. Your voice is changing and it’s so funny.”
I chuckle and slip my arm around her. We watch the old videos as my family has a barbeque, as we play on the beach, and as we set off fireworks. The video of me and Levi at the cemetery comes on and we laugh so hard I have trouble breathing.
My watch alarm sounds, and I go into the kitchen to take out the coffee cake, setting it on a trivet to cool. I head back into the family room and sit next to Kiki. My brothers and I are in our Halloween outfits on the TV. “You guys are so adorable,” Kiki says, snuggling back into my side.
I get emotional when I see my mother come on the screen. She’s hanging decorations on a Christmas tree, and she turns toward the camera.
“Are you ready for Christmas?” my father asks behind the camera.
“Not at all,” my mother says, laughing. “But Christmas will come, whether we’re ready or not.”
“And what do you want for Christmas, Mrs. Barrett?”
My mother smiles. “I just want to have a quiet day at home with our family.”
Shouting comes from behind the camera, and my father turns around to show Noah chasing Levi through the house. My father laughs. “I don’t know how quiet it will be.”
My mother hangs another ornament. “As long as we’re together. That’s all I want.”
The camera goes dark, the scene ending. The DVD stops, but I’m too stunned to stand up and change it. I don’t remember seeing this clip, and it makes my chest constrict.
Kiki puts her hand on mine. “Are you okay?” she asks softly.
“Yeah,” I choke out, but it’s a lie. I’m not okay. There’s an ache deep within me. My parents died so young. They were good people, and I would give anything to be able to see them just one more time.
She turns toward me and cups my face with her hands, her thumb catching a tear. I didn’t realize I was crying. “You must miss them so much.”
I nod. I can’t say anything. My throat is too tight.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked to see the videos.”
“No,” I manage to say. “It’s okay.”
She wraps her arms around me, pulling me to her. I bury my face in her shoulder. She holds me, and I feel like a little boy again, missing my mother and father. When I gain control, I pull back from her.
She gently kisses my nose. “You are so tender hearted.”
“Not very manly,” I say.
“Why not? Men can cry. It’s actually quite sexy.” She puts her arms around my neck and her fingers comb through my hair. It sends shivers through me. It feels so good to be this close to her, to feel her touch.
I open my mouth to tell her how she’s making me feel, but I quickly close it. I don’t know how she would take it. If I make one wrong move, she might freak out again. I’m afraid she’ll run away.
I pull her close, and she sits on my lap, her arms still around me. “Sexy, huh?” I say, being playful.
“Yeah.” She pulls me down and brushes her lips across mine.
I can’t resist her. My lips move over hers. She tastes sweet, like strawberries and cream. My heart soars that she’s no longer pulling away from me. A tone chimes. Noah’s texting me. I pull back. “Sorry, I should see what Noah wants.”
Kiki leans back. I pick up my phone and look at the text.
Did you forget you asked me to install hidden cameras in the house? There’s one in the kitchen and one in the family room.
I freeze. I forgot about that. My gaze travels over the room and I spot the camera on the shelf amid a row of books. I shoot him off a quick response.
Stop spying on me, bro. That’s sick.
I toss the phone on the couch. “Just a sec.” I slide Kiki off my lap and walk over to the shelf to turn the camera around.
I come back and pick up where I left off. My brother texts me a couple more times, but I ignore it. Kiki gives me a questioning look. “Do you need to get that?” she says against my mouth.
“No,” I say, and claim her lips again.
Kissing Kiki is like grabbing an electric fence. It’s risky and hot, but I can’t let go. I want her in my life. I want to tell her I think I’m falling in love with her, but I’m afraid it will make her pull away from me again, so I don’t. I try to show her how I feel with my tender kisses.
I don’t know if she will regret kissing me tomorrow, but I’ll do everything I can to let her know I accept her for who she is. She’s worth more to me than anything. I want her to feel loved and accepted, because I fear she’s never had that before, and that breaks my heart.
The next morning I wake up to someone knocking on my bedroom door. “Come in,” I say, my brain fuzzy with sleep.
Noah enters, his police boots clomping across my hardwood floor. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
I sit up and try to tame my hair. “What is it?”
Noah leans against my footboard. “Nothing important. I just wanted to apologize for the camera thing.” He grins at me. “I totally didn’t mean to spy on you.”
I’d forgotten about it already. I wave a hand at him. “No problem.”
“I approve, by the way.”
“Approve?” My brain is still not awake.
“Of you and Kiki. It’s about time you got over Courtney. We’ve been worried about you never wanting to date anyone.” He scrubs a hand across his neck. “We’re glad you found someone.”
Annoyance surfaces in me. “I didn’t realize my brothers were all talking about me behind my back.”
“It’s not like that. We were just concerned, that’s all.”
I feel a headache coming on, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. “What about you? I don’t seem to see you dating anyone. Is everyone concerned about how hung up you are with your ex?”
Noah shifts. “All right. I deserve that. But my situation is totally different.”
I stare at him. “How so?”
“Courtney was a blood-sucking leech. Even you admitted it after she left.” Noah folds his arms across his chest. “Savannah’s nothing like that.”
“I agree with you. I just don’t know why you haven’t made another move in all these years. It’s obvious you guys still have a thing for each other. Everyone notices.” I exhale. “Just do something about it.”
Noah grins at me. “Working on it.” He taps the footboard. “Anyway, let me know if you need me to watch Skyler so you can go out or something. My weekends are pretty free.”
Noah has Friday and Saturday nights off. I squint at him. “If you’re going to pursue Savannah, won’t you want those weekend nights for her?”
“Watching Sky together sounds like a great date. You know how she loves kids. And it would subconsciously put the idea in her head that we’d make great parents, huh?” His grin widens.
I laugh because Noah’s always been very vocal about wanting a whole bunch of kids. It’s really sweet. I know he’d make a great dad. He’s amazing with Skyler. “All right.”
Noah leaves my room, and I climb out of bed. Yesterday’s closeness with Kiki was amazing. I’m unsure how she will react to me today, but I think we’ve turned a corner. At least, I hope she sees it that way.