Chapter Twelve
KIT
The note I encountered the next morning was nowhere near as disappointing as the ones Lucas had left before.
Slightly disappointing, because leaving a message meant Lucas had already left the house so there would be no considerate touches this morning, but not monumentally disappointing since he was no longer avoiding me.
Kit,
I hope you slept well. Not that you need beauty sleep. Shit.
I have to head out early this morning because there’s a problem with one of Oscar’s cows and I want to check her over before my surgery appointments. Thank you for the epic pizza last night, and for trusting me.
I’m going to give you the biggest hug later. I’ll see you later.
Lucas x
I grinned at the easily deciphered scribbled out sections. Deeply embedded shame had burned through me as I’d explained my issues around touch, but Lucas hadn’t seemed bothered. All evening, we’d sat close on the sofa. So close I could feel Kat’s purring through Lucas’s thigh.
I’d tried not to let myself relax too much, but after years of denying myself unmonitored touches, it was wonderful to sit beside a kind man and take my fill. I’d floated off to bed, so blissed out I was barely conscious even before my head hit the pillow.
I’d felt a stab of regret when I woke up this morning, sure Lucas would have decided my neediness was too much during the night, but his note dispelled that fear.
I had carefully monitored his scent and had been ready to back off at the first sign of stale boredom or sparking annoyance, but I wanted to trust he didn’t mind touching me.
I frowned as I selected Kat’s disgusting breakfast pouch and was still frowning when Louisa tapped on my back door.
Despite his views on the matter, I didn’t think Lucas was strange. If he thought my desire to touch the people I liked and loved a lot was fine, maybe others would too.
It had been a long time since I’d let myself try.
Too many partners, transient as they all were, had moaned about my tendency to seek as many points of physical contact with them as possible.
I hadn’t had many friends before I moved to the island and had never attempted a hug with the dickheads on my law course.
Even before Mum became so unwell that hugs hurt, she wasn’t the touchy feely type.
The only person I’d hugged properly since I’d become a werewolf was Callum, and that was because I’d taken the bite in his cabin and recovered with him. Everything had been too overwhelming as I’d adjusted to my changed body and enhanced senses. I couldn’t rein in my need for touch too.
But he hadn’t minded it. Even when the excuse of being a newbie wolf was gone. I’d thought he cuddled me because he was just as touch starved as I was, but he continued once he had Aster to snuggle as well.
I jumped down the stairs, threw open the back door, and launched myself into Louisa’s arms before I could second guess myself.
Immediately, the countdown of the acceptable number of seconds to hug members of my pack started. I ignored it, burrowing my face into the floral scented hair cascading down the side of Louisa’s neck.
I clung to her. It took long adrenaline fuelled seconds for me to realise she was clinging right back.
Her face pressed into my shoulder, her nose burrowing into my scarf.
Her hands rubbed up and down my back, her breathing deep and even.
She smelt of her homemade rose soap and the hint of the sea that Errol always carried with him.
She didn’t fidget or squirm as the seconds lashed together to form a minute. Her hold was firm, her scent tinged with a ringing peace.
‘This is nice,’ she mumbled into my scarf.
‘Yeah,’ I breathed. ‘You like it?’
‘Kitten.’ She pulled out the nickname I’d made her promise to never utter in front of anyone else to let me know she was serious. ‘I’ve always wanted a decent cuddle with you.’
If possible, I sank further into her embrace. ‘I didn’t know if you’d like it.’
She squeezed me tight. ‘Were you worried about Errol? Because you know the first thing that man is going to do when I tell him you gave me an actual hug and not some pathetic quickie is storm into the bookshop and demand one of his own.’
‘Not Errol,’ I murmured into her hair. ‘I thought I was too needy for you all.’
It had been easy last night to tell Lucas that previous partners and my sole parent had told me my need for prologued touch wasn’t normal, but I didn’t want to include those details in my explanation for Louisa.
For some reason, I wanted my new friend to know, but didn’t want to share it with one of my oldest.
‘You could never be too needy.’ Louisa forced her nose deeper into my scarf. I always made sure it was securely tucked around my neck before I left the flat, so I wasn’t worried she would dislodge it with her snuffling. ‘And you’re never getting away with skimping on cuddles again, do you hear me?’
‘I hear you.’ I took one more deep breath and eased away. ‘We should get to work instead of hugging all day.’
‘If we didn’t both have businesses that depend on us, I’d be so up for calling in sick and cuddling the shit out of you for hours.
’ Louisa sighed, weaving her arm through mine as we walked down the path along the backs of the cottages.
‘One disadvantage to being the boss and a werewolf; pulling a sickie isn’t an option. ’
I leant into her side, for once not creating distance between us as she held onto my arm.
She didn’t break contact the whole walk round to the fronts of our shops, not even to retrieve our breakfasts from the bakery.
Outside the pharmacy, she pulled me into another prolonged hug.
She was beaming when we stepped apart minutes later.
Louisa didn’t use the pack’s group chat to tell everyone my embargo on lengthy cuddles had lifted, but the news spread regardless.
Bonnie stormed into Island Books before I had a chance to switch the wooden sign Hamish had made two years ago to open, the force of her chest hitting mine enough to wind me.
Joshua followed her inside, his arms strong around the two of us. The lingering scent of sadness he’d carried since Cob left the island mellowed as we stood in a six-armed tangle.
Callum ran down from the mountains. He was the one person I’d allowed myself prolonged hugs with, but apparently now he wasn’t ostracising himself from the pack he was determined to involve himself in all its significant events.
Me allowing myself to indulge my clingy side felt like a massive shift. After each hug, my chest felt lighter. I breezed around the bookshop between cuddles, humming random tunes under my breath and smiling widely at even the most difficult customers.
Errol was the last of the pack to find me.
He had a schedule to stick to, unlike everyone else who could largely come and go as they pleased.
He crashed through the door of Island Books, his knitted hat askew and his dark eyes wild.
He cleared the space between us in two giant strides and gently tugged the books I’d been shelving out of my hands.
He placed them on a side table before enveloping me in his arms.
Laughing, I drank in deep lung-fulls of his ocean tinged scent. His beard rubbed my skin as he pressed his nose into the side of my neck.
‘I’m not sure Louisa’s got it right about you two,’ he murmured, ‘But whatever’s going on with you and Lucas, it’s good for you.’
I hoped Errol couldn’t feel my skin heating against his. It was easy enough to ignore Louisa and Bonnie’s gossiping about the nature of mine and Lucas’s relationship, but it was harder to deny that during his short time on the island Lucas had already had a profound effect on my life.
He’d seen me, had reached out to me. He’d given me something I’d been denying myself for too long.
My face was back to a normal shade and temperature by the time Errol stepped away. The dark brown skin around his eyes was crinkled in an unmistakable smile as he turned and stomped out of the bookshop.
‘So that was intense,’ Hamish said from behind me.
‘Bloody hell.’ I jumped so violently I fell into the side table. The books Errol had carefully placed there before tackling me fell to the floor. ‘When did you get here?’
‘Five minutes ago.’ Hamish regarded the books on the floor passively, uninterested in their fate since they weren’t from a genre he was interested in. ‘It’s good that you’ve got friends.’
His conversation allocation for the day apparently exhausted, he wandered off to tend to his dragon. Dust could gather on the shelves and Hamish didn’t give a toss about any novel he hadn’t hand-picked, but a single spider’s web wouldn’t get a chance to form on his beloved window displays.
The bell over the door rang as I picked up the books.
It was ridiculous how absorbed I’d been in Errol’s hug that I hadn’t heard it when Hamish arrived.
Maybe bell muting was another aspect of his ability to approach without warning.
I straightened with a smile on my face, which only grew when I saw who was standing in my bookshop.
Lucas looked around at the shelves and displays, his brown eyes swooping between the different books and reading-adjacent wares. ‘I finished my appointments at the surgery early and escaped before anyone else could catch me. I wanted to see the shop before you closed for the day.’
Heedless of the damage it would do to the already battered books and the possible transference of the assorted fur engrained in his shirt, I threw myself into his arms.
Lucas’s hands braced on my back and his chest rumbled with a laugh. ‘Do you greet every customer like this?’
I turned my face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder and breathed deep. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered.
Lucas seemed to understand I wasn’t just grateful for him visiting the shop. His arms tightened around me and his face pressed into my scarf.
‘You smell incredible,’ he murmured.
I felt his face heat, even through the fabric between us.
‘You do too,’ I said, before Lucas could sink too far into embarrassment.
That wasn’t strictly true. After a morning visit to the island’s farm and a day in the surgery, a distinctly animalistic musk hung around him. But under that was fresh cut grass and healthy sweat.
Despite the furry overtones, there was nowhere I wanted to be right now other than in Lucas’s arms.
Until Hamish roused himself from examining his display and said, ‘Who the fuck are you?’