Chapter Twenty
KIT
Iwas torturing myself by watching Instagram videos of the other bookshops longlisted for the indie award and trying not to wonder when Lucas would arrive when there was an almighty crack and the lamps dotted around the bookshop died.
I blinked in the continued light from my laptop screen, then quickly shut it.
If this was a power cut brought on by a storm, it could last for days.
Anything with a battery needed its remaining life to be eked out carefully.
I concentrated on the sounds inside of the shop, rather than the waves lashing on the seawall across the road or the wind wailing past the windows.
No other heartbeats but mine. The shop had cleared out as the weather turned foul over the afternoon, but it was wise to check before I closed up.
I’d once blithely locked the door, only to come face-to-face with the island’s grumpy farmer who’d been searching the historical section for the perfect weekend read.
I paused at the door after I clicked the bolt into place and swung the sign to closed.
The sea was a frothing mess, water hurling itself at the concrete defences.
Every few seconds, waves sprayed up and slapped onto the drenched road.
The sky was a writhing mass of dark greys, the clouds clashing with shocking spikes of lightning.
Kat was already snuggled on the sofa when I climbed upstairs.
I grabbed a handful of candles from the cupboard under the stairs to the top floor.
My eyesight was so good I didn’t need them, but it would look strange when Lucas returned if I was casually sitting in the dark.
Their warm glow flickered off the shadowed walls as I placed them around the kitchen and living room.
I resisted the urge to open the fridge. There was no faint buzzing, so it was as bereft as every other electrical appliance in the cottage. If the power wasn’t back on after a day, I’d have to cook everything in there on the gas hob and create a feast for me and Lucas.
I grabbed an apple and curled into the space beside Kat on the sofa.
Normally, when there was a storm, I’d close up the shop and rush over to Bonnie and Joshua’s.
She struggled during extreme weather and needed the pack around her, using our warmth to keep away memories of her family’s death years ago when a psycho killer ruined their boat in a storm.
But I couldn’t leave the cottage. Even though I could leave a note to tell Lucas where I’d gone, I didn’t want him to come home to find it dark and empty.
I focused on my inner wolf, which Callum told me wasn’t really a thing since the wolf and the man I’d been before were fully fused, but the visualisation helped.
My eyes closed, I could feel the thrumming lines of energy connecting me to the other members of my pack.
One stretched far up into the mountains, but the others congregated in the furthest lime green cottage.
‘I’m fine.’ I projected my voice into the quiet room and down the lines between us. Callum wouldn’t be able to hear me from such a distance, but the others would. ‘But I’m going to stay home and wait for Lucas.’
Stay safe. I wouldn’t say I heard Joshua’s voice, but his words were loud and clear in my mind.
We love you. Louisa’s message came through a second later.
Even though I wasn’t snuggled up with the other members of my pack, warmth coursed through me. Louisa couldn’t know how much I needed that reminder today.
This morning had been awful. Not only did Lucas not want to kiss me, but he’d almost done it because of his inability to say no.
And then there was all the weirdness when he’d said he wished he wanted to kiss me.
It had left me spacey as I’d trailed downstairs and opened the shop, like a boat cut free from its mooring.
I needed the reminder that Lucas wasn’t the only person who cared about me. Because I didn’t doubt he cared very much. Just not enough. Not in the way I so desperately wished he did. That maybe he wished he did too.
I sighed and pulled a blanket over my legs. It was sad that Lucas didn’t want more, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I’d get over it, and we would be friends. When he found a woman he could actually fall for, I’d still have a pack who loved me.
Despite wishing for more with Lucas, he’d already given me something wonderful. Through him, I’d come to have much deeper closeness with my fellow wolves. When Lucas moved out to be with some woman who gave him what I couldn’t, they would gather around me and not let go until I felt whole again.
I bit into my apple and grabbed my current book from the coffee table.
This storm had come on the perfect day. Trying to be nice to customers had been draining and I’d been making myself even more miserable with the videos from the other bookshops.
The storm forced me to lose myself in a fictional world, which was the best thing to do when life was rubbish.
I only realised how long I’d been reading when I turned the last page. The candles had burned low, their glow feeble against the premature darkness brought on by the storm. My stomach rumbled as I tapped at my phone screen to briefly illuminate it.
I sat up, the blanket falling from my chest. Kat grumbled when it folded over her, but I ignored her.
It was hours after Lucas should have been home.
I didn’t have to scroll far to find his number, since he was the last person I’d texted. When I tapped on the icon to call him, nothing happened. The bars of signal were flat.
‘Shit.’
This happened sometimes. The phones often went down at the same time as the power. It had never been a concern before, tucked up under a blanket with the rest of my pack at Joshua and Bonnie’s while we waited out the worst of the weather.
I tapped my phone on my forehead. Lucas said he was headed to the island’s farm today. Chances were, he was holed up with the grumpy farmer. I didn’t need to panic, didn’t need to give into the fluttering worry building in my chest.
I wished my senses could stretch further. Then I could listen in over at the farm, search for Lucas’s heartbeat. As a bitten wolf, I was stronger and quicker and healed way faster than a normal human, but I had nothing on Bonnie and Callum.
But Bonnie wouldn’t be able to search across to the farm for Lucas. During storms, she curled into herself, her pack gathered around her.
I tucked my phone into my jeans pocket since there was a chance it would regain signal even while the storm raged, and rushed downstairs.
I pulled on a thick woollen coat, then a long waterproof over the top.
I wound a second scarf around my neck before tugging the hood over my head.
My welly boots had a spider hiding inside, which I placed on a pair of sandals that got very little action.
I lifted the latch on the door, then caught it as it smashed inwards. The wind was wild, lashing across the backs of the cottages. Heading out in the storm wasn’t as dangerous for me as it would be for a human, but it wasn’t wise.
That didn’t matter. I didn’t know where Lucas was, and I needed to see him sitting cosy near a fire at the farm before I could spend another minute inside.