Chapter Thirty-Five
LUCAS
Ididn’t know I could want something I’d never experienced before so much.
My thoughts were still tangled. I wasn’t certain whether what I felt was deep friendship or something more, but I wanted to kiss Kit. I wanted to know. I needed to figure out if this burning longing was attraction or just a desperate desire to feel the same thing so many other people did.
I didn’t mean for my words to come out so breathy.
I hadn’t meant to plead. But I’d take a pity kiss if I could finally know what all these wants meant.
It felt like there was a rope tied between me and Kit.
I didn’t know if that was attraction or close friendship, but I wanted to test if wanting to draw near to him and never let go was what I’d been missing out on for years.
Kit breathed shallowly for torturous seconds, his scent a wild swirl of emotions I couldn’t separate and identify, then he nodded jerkily.
He didn’t do anything else. That was fair enough, since I’d roundly rejected him the first time he’d tried to kiss me.
I steeled myself and moved closer, our blanket mountain shifting so that my stomach and thighs could align with his. I paused when his face was just distant enough to be in focus. His hands were still tangled in mine, his grip vice tight.
His tongue crept out and wet his lower lip. I followed the movement. I wanted to trace his shining skin with my lips, my fingers, my teeth.
‘Lucas?’ One part of Kit’s scent was crisp and stinging. Familiar. One of the first emotions I’d identified up in the mountains was worry.
‘It’s going to be okay.’ My heartbeat remained sure. Whether this kiss was amazing or a total dud like the others, I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of me and Kit being together. Whether that was as friends or something else, a bad kiss wouldn’t stop him being a huge part of my life.
Kit swallowed. I wanted to place my hands on his neck, nose into the soft skin.
‘It’s fine if this isn’t different to the others.’ The tiny skip to Kit’s heart was heard but ignored by both of us. It would be rubbish if this kiss was as disappointing as the others. I wanted so badly for it to be good.
‘We’ll be okay.’ Even if this kiss sucked, we would work through the horrible awkwardness together. It wasn’t like I was unused to excruciating social situations. ‘You’re too important to me for one bad kiss to make me not want to be around you.’
Kit smiled tightly. Even a shadow of his usual smile was beautiful. ‘You have to tell me if it’s not good. Straight away. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings.’
‘I will.’ I untangled one of my hands from his and cupped the side of his face.
His skin was so much softer than mine, even the stubble across his jaw a tickle across my palm rather than a rasp.
I rubbed my thumb under his eye, down over his cheek, to the edge of his mouth.
‘If this isn’t what we’re hoping for, then we’ll deal with it together. ’
Kit’s eyes were wide. He nodded, and the motion dipped my thumb onto his lip. I closed my eyes and swallowed a moan. If kissing him was anything like simply touching him, then we weren’t going to have a problem.
I took a deep breath full of spice, then opened my eyes. Kit’s were fixed on me. I gave him what I hoped was the most reassuring smile in history, then looked down at his lips.
Panic flashed across my skin as I closed the short distance between us. I wanted to kiss him so much, wanted so badly for this to be good. If kissing wasn’t anything to write home about with Kit, then I couldn’t see how it would be anything but mediocre with anyone else.
One quick inhalation through my nose, Kit’s brown eyes blurring before me, and our lips touched.
My lower lip brushed his. It was as soft as I’d imagined, warm and giving.
Bright need shot through me, from my mouth right down my spine.
Our noses nudged as I shifted closer. I angled my head and Kit’s lips moved with mine, the gentlest of pressure.
In one way, this kiss felt exactly the same as every other time we’d touched. Wonderful. Comforting. And not quite enough.
In every other way it was different. I had never imagined kissing could feel this good, that the simple act of placing my mouth on another person’s would make it feel like every nerve in my body was alight with joy.
I wanted more. Needed it.
I parted my mouth, running my tongue along Kit’s bottom lip.
He gasped, then jerked back.
‘How is it?’ His eyes darted between mine. ‘How does it feel?’
I pressed my lips together. Already, after just one kiss, they felt Kit’s absence.
‘It feels…’ For once, I struggled for words. I was always blown away by how brilliant Kit was, but this was different. This was something I never thought I could have. A connection I wanted to burn bright and pure between us always.
Kit’s nostrils flared and his eyes flooded with tears. ‘You have to tell me if it was bad. Just tell me now.’
‘Kit.’ I breathed his name, frustrated my mouth was being used for anything other than kissing. Now that it wasn’t a strange wet sensation of over-closeness, I wanted to do it always. ‘That kiss might be the best thing I’ve ever experienced.’
Kit blinked, and his tears cascaded onto the already damp pillow. ‘Really?’
‘Really.’ I beamed at him. ‘Can we do it again?’
I’d barely finished speaking before Kit was on me, his lips on mine. His hands threaded through my hair. He’d been holding back before, unwilling to fully participate before I passed my verdict.
All of it, every touch, was incredible. My brain swam with new sensations, or not new but suddenly imbued with boundless pleasure.
I’d had hands on my face and neck before, but they’d never felt like this.
Like if Kit stopped touching me, my heart would leap from my chest. I’d gasped and kissed with my other sexual partners, but not with such abandoned desperation.
I’d pressed close and moaned. Never before had each touch felt like an extension of the pulsing need inside me.
I didn’t have to think about each action as my tongue moved with Kit’s.
I made no conscious decision to bite across the smooth skin of his jaw and press my nose into the warmth of his neck above his scarf.
I groaned as his hands scratched down my back, the touch impossibly good even through the thick fabric of my jumper.
Our lips were never far from each other for more than a few seconds. Everything felt amazing, but Kit’s mouth moving with mine was a revelation. The sun bursting through clouds after endless dark days.
His hands traced the top of my jeans, highlighting the restless motion of my hips. My dick was rock hard, pressing uncomfortably into the stiff fabric of my jeans. Despite the layers between us, I could feel Kit’s erection on my hip.
I’d not had sex with a man before, but the different anatomy wasn’t weird.
Once I wasn’t so occupied with the wonder that was kissing Kit, I wanted to explore every part of him.
I wanted to know if the skin of his chest was as smooth as that of his hands and face.
I wanted to lick his nipples and down his stomach.
I wanted to take off his trousers and press my face into his groin and inhale where the spice would be rich and thick.
Kit’s hands snuck under my jumper, his long fingers spreading across my lower back. I gasped, then thrust my hips into his.
Everything about kissing and touching Kit was so good that I didn’t register the pleasure building higher and higher, until my dick kicked. My stomach contracted with the most intense orgasm I’d ever had.
I wasn’t kissing Kit so much as breathing against his lips as molten waves of pleasure careened through me. Orgasms before had been nothing like this. This was consuming. I panted and rutted my way through the sparking joy running up from my groin to my chest and down my thighs.
Just as it was ending, the most intense burst of pure spice rolled over me. Kit’s breath was warm on my lips as his mouth pulled into a silent shout. His fingers dug into my lower back, hips pressing into mine.
Our chests heaved together as we gradually stopped moving. Kit’s lips ghosted across mine in uneven bursts, his forehead and nose brushing close. One of his thighs rested between mine. Even with my orgasm fading, I wanted to keep him here, his hands on my skin and his lips moving with mine.
Our breathing slowed, our heartbeats calming, but Kit remained pressed into my front. Soon, our underwear would become uncomfortable, but I wanted to remain here with him for as long as he allowed it.
I kissed him, again and again, each time as incredible as the last. Kit’s mouth stretched into a smile. His teeth gently bit my lower lip before he broke away.
I blinked him into focus as he settled on the pillow, his face peaceful in a way I’d never seen before. His scent was infused with warm spice, but the tugging urgency between us had dimmed. I wanted Kit close, but it was just like all the other times I’d cuddled him and never wanted to let go.
He flexed his hands across my lower back, but didn’t create any more distance between us. My eyes fixed on his red lips, the skin puffy.
‘You enjoyed that, right?’ Kit checked.
A laugh bubbled up, the movement jutting my hips into his. We both groaned, pleasure sparking as our groins pressed together. My smile grew.
‘That.’ I stretched to kiss him. ‘Was.’ I kissed him again. ‘Amazing.’
The final kiss was long and soft. I wanted a million of these moments with Kit. I wanted to kiss him in bed and in his shop and out in the mountains. I wanted quick pecks and lingering presses with open mouths.
I leant back and sighed, happiness singing through me. ‘I want to kiss you forever.’
Kit grinned, wide and open, before he buried his face in my neck. ‘That would be inconvenient at times. I’m not sure my customers would approve, and I don’t think kissing would be quite as fun while you perform some of the animal examinations Aster told me about.’
I laughed and nuzzled into his hair. ‘It would still be good, though.’
I didn’t see how anything could stop Kit’s lips on mine being remarkable. I’d never wanted to kiss anyone before, had barely known if I wanted to kiss him, but if almost dying in a storm and becoming a werewolf was what was needed for me to recognise what I was feeling, I’d do it all again.