Chapter Thirty-Eight
KIT
The look on Lucas’s face a couple of hours later when I set our half-completed puzzle aside and slid to the floor between his legs was one I was determined to make reappear as often as possible.
He was reduced to babbling incoherency as I licked and sucked.
His eyes widened when I spat into a tissue after he came.
I wanted to show him someone spitting after a blowjob wasn’t the big turn off he seemed sure it was.
He surged forward, his tongue questing into my mouth. After long minutes of kissing, his movements calmed. His eyes only half opened when I pulled back.
‘Bed time?’ I stood, tugging him with me. He fell into my arms in a hug that felt more like I was propping him up than truly embracing him. ‘Do you want to sleep in my bed?’
He leaned back to beam at me. ‘Yes. Let’s do that. You and me in a bed. Please.’
He bounded up the stairs, pulling me behind him. He didn’t let go of my hand while we brushed our teeth side by side, only stepped away so that we could each take some time in the bathroom alone before we snuggled beneath the mountain of blankets on my bed.
Lucas settled behind me, his knees curled with mine and my back flush with his chest. His arms wound around me and his hands spread over my stomach.
He hadn’t commented when he’d emerged from the bathroom to find me tucked in bed wearing only my pyjama bottoms and a soft T-shirt.
I didn’t want to sleep wearing a scarf. Added to the nagging fear that I would accidentally strangle myself, I didn’t want to hide away from him.
It was strange and difficult to be around someone with a part of myself I struggled to accept on display, but I trusted Lucas to handle it carefully.
His nose pressing into the back of my neck felt like a reward for pushing myself to be brave.
‘Sleeping in a bed with you is going to be so much better than sleeping in one with Callum and Aster,’ he murmured.
I laughed. Lucas had moaned about the sleeping arrangement in the mountains during every one of our phone calls. ‘Why didn’t you sleep on the sofa?’
‘My reasons were two-fold.’ He extended a couple of fingers on my stomach.
‘Firstly, because that sofa might be fine for sitting, but as soon as I tried being horizontal on it, it became a bumpy freak. And secondly, if I wasn’t the filling in a Callum and Aster sandwich, then they would hump each other all night long.
My delicate ears would never have recovered from the horror. ’
I grinned into my pillow. ‘Plus, sleepy cuddles with Callum are the best, right?’
‘It’s very annoying that I can’t lie,’ Lucas grumbled. ‘Fine. Callum’s arms around me were wonderful. I didn’t want to sleep on the sofa. I wanted to cuddle with him every night.’
‘It’s something about being bitten by him.’ I shuddered. ‘Can you imagine if Bonnie was the one doing the biting?’
‘Oh, no. Ew.’ He smushed his face into my hairline. ‘She’s scary enough as it is. It would be terrifying to have a weird desire to snuggle with her.’
‘Callum might look scary, but at least he’s a fluffy mashed potato under all those muscles.’ I wrinkled my nose. ‘Bonnie is all sprout inside. Smelly and green.’
‘Cuddling you is better than cuddling Callum,’ Lucas murmured, then tensed behind me. ‘Shit. That wasn’t exactly a natural response to talking about the menace who is our Alpha. Can you pretend I said something normal and not weird?’
‘I like cuddling you more than Callum too.’ I didn’t tell Lucas that I liked his brand of endearingly weird.
‘Okay, then. If we both like it, then that’s hunky dory.’
I smiled into the dark. ‘Night, Lucas.’
‘Sleep well, Kit.’
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
Lucas was a line of warmth behind me from his lips on my nape down to where his feet nestled with mine.
I’d not often slept with a partner before.
Apparently, that was another symptom of my asking too much.
I wasn’t sure I would be able to sleep much tonight.
Having Lucas here was too much after weeks of telling myself nothing like this could ever happen.
I expected Lucas to hug me more once he passed his werewolf initiation training, but him in my bed now after we’d kissed and shared orgasms together was mind-boggling.
Lucas shifted. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered.
‘I can’t sleep.’
He sighed. ‘Me neither.’
I moved closer to him, then realised his reason for being restless was different to mine. His hard length pressed against my arse.
‘Ignore that.’ He bent to create space between us. ‘It’s ridiculous. I’ve come three times today. I’ve never come that much before.’
‘One of the perks of being a wolf.’ I arched until I was pressed against him again.
‘Oh, fuck.’ Lucas mouthed the back of my neck. ‘I want you so much. I feel like I could explode.’
Heat rose to my cheeks. I turned in the circle of his arms. Our eyesight was good in the dark, but I hoped his wasn’t accurate enough that he’d be able to see how his simple words affected me.
I had to work hard to hear them as they were and not attach extra meaning.
Lucas wanted me now, wanted me a lot, but that didn’t mean he would want me forever and always. Like I wanted him.
I kissed him before I said something stupid or before he said anything else that would melt down the solid steel walls I’d constructed around my heart.
Lucas was good and kind, but that didn’t mean he was any less able to hurt me.
In fact, it meant he was more able. I wouldn’t make him stay with me a minute longer than he wanted to, but when he left it would be crushing.
Better not to think about that. Better to think about Lucas’s hands scratching the skin of my waist. His lips moving with mine and his hips jerking in restless stutters.
‘What do you want to do?’ I asked when he slid away from my mouth to kiss along the length of my jaw.
He growled, then caught himself. ‘That was a lot more wolfy than I expected.’
‘It happens.’ I ground my cock against his, separated by the thin fabric of our pyjama bottoms, to bring him back to task. ‘What would you like to do, Lucas?’
Previous partners had complained that I leaned towards being too demanding in the bedroom.
I was determined not to push Lucas beyond what he was comfortable with.
I might have chucked him out of the shower earlier so that I could give myself a deep clean, but I wasn’t making any assumptions.
Just because I’d wanted Lucas’s inside me as soon as his lips had first touched mine, that didn’t mean he was ready for that.
He growled again, low and rumbling. ‘I don’t know. I love what we’ve done so far, but I want more. I want to be as close to you as I can be.’
My heart attempted to cling onto his words, but I dashed its clasping hands away. This was about sex. Nothing more.
I cupped his face. My thumbs traced over his cheeks. ‘You must tell me if this isn’t what you mean, but would you like to have anal sex with me?’
Lucas’s eyes widened, reflecting the light of the crescent shaped moon shining through the window. ‘How would we do it? I mean. Like. Who would be the one on the top and who would be on the bottom?’
That wasn’t a flat no, but there was some hesitancy. ‘We never have to do it in any configuration if you’re not sure about it.’
Lucas shook his head as much as he was able to while resting on a pillow and with my hands bracketing his cheeks. ‘I’m sure. But. I mean.’
‘Is there a certain way you’d like to do it?’ I cut across his babbling.
‘Um, yeah.’ His eyebrows pinched together. ‘I don’t think I’d like being the one on the bottom very much.’ Against my palms, his skin heated. ‘I’ve thought about doing some things, like, in a non-specific way. I’ve never been into that.’
‘You don’t want me to put my cock inside you?’ I checked, since Lucas was new to this and the mechanics of anal were a little more complicated than literally who was on top and who was below.
Lucas’s face grew even warmer. ‘Um. Not really, I guess. But thank you?’
I guessed that was as close to a no as he could cope with. I rubbed the heated skin of his cheeks.
‘I don’t want to do that either,’ I told him. ‘I’d really like it if you would put your cock inside me.’ I blinked at the rush of heat that raced up from between us. ‘What I would like this time is for you to lay on the bed and for me to be on top of you though.’
‘Yes. Yeah. Yep.’ Lucas reached for the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it up over my stomach. ‘Let’s do that, please.’
Even if Lucas wasn’t the best at saying no, at least when he wanted something his enthusiasm was undeniable.
Quickly, he relieved me of my clothes. He ripped off his own.
I didn’t think he literally tore anything, but I’d have to warn him to be careful of his new strength if he didn’t want to accidentally ruin treasured items of clothing in a moment of passion.
Before I got too distracted by his lips or hands, I reached across to the top drawer of my bedside table. I picked out lube and a condom.
I held up the foil square. ‘We don’t have to use this, but would it make you more comfortable to? Just because we can’t catch anything from each other, that doesn’t mean you have to want nothing between us.’
Lucas grabbed the condom. ‘Do you want to use this?’
‘No, but that doesn’t mean–’ I stopped talking when he threw the condom to the other side of the room.
‘Nothing between us.’ He pressed his face into the side of my neck and bit down hard enough that it would have left a mark if I was as easily bruisable as I had been when human. ‘Nothing. Between. Us,’ he growled around stinging nips.