Becoming Us (Us Duet #2)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER

ONE

AFTER

We were dating.

Atty and I were together again, going out on dates.

How the hell I was ever going to wrap my head around this—and stop myself from bouncing and screaming it from the rooftops—I had no idea. I had been so sure I’d lost him for good, and now this was happening.

The one thing I did know was I wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

I was going to give him everything he deserved, and for that to work, for us not to keep falling back into old patterns, we needed to set up some ground rules.

We had to unlearn the toxic codependency, strip everything down, and build something real.

So, number one: No staying over at my apartment. We would sleep at our respective ones.

Number two: We’d go on three dates a week, no more.

Number three: For the first two months, we wouldn’t define our relationship.

And finally, number four: No sex.

Atty had okayed the first three, but when I added the fourth, his eyebrows had shot up.

He didn’t argue, didn’t even ask for a time frame—just nodded.

I couldn’t tell if he was surprised, disappointed, or just processing.

Sex was our kryptonite, and we had to learn how to work around that.

Atty was forever for me. I knew with complete certainty that this man was the love of my life, and I was not going to fuck it up again.

So, no sex. And dates.

The first one was awkward as fuck.

From the moment I pulled up in his driveway and he looked at my car like I had grown a second head, it was weird. He sat there, stiff as a board, his pale eyes staring straight ahead, only giving polite nods or shakes of his head to acknowledge my presence.

The restaurant was full and dimly lit, and Atty looked like a fish out of water.

I should’ve picked somewhere easier, somewhere we wouldn’t have to force small talk over candlelight and linen napkins.

Sitting across from him now, the whole idea of us making casual conversation over dinner felt ridiculous.

“You’re done for the semester, right?” I asked as the waiter walked away with our order.

“Yeah. Handed in my last term paper today.”

His face could’ve been made of stone.

“I still have one due Monday.” I nodded, like that was worth saying.

He took a sip of his drink—an iced tea—glancing at me for half a second. “And after that, you’re done?”

“Yeah, done.”

I traced the rim of my glass. Why was this so hard? We’d spent six months in agony, desperate to be with each other. Shouldn’t this feel…easier?

“We could go out again on Monday if you like,” Atty said.

The corners of my lips tugged upward. “I’d like that.”

Atty almost smiled back.

“Maybe something early.” He cleared his throat. “I’m leaving for Miami on Tuesday.”

I looked away for a second, swallowing my disappointment before it could show. He was giving me this look, so fucking apprehensive. Of course he could go. He didn’t need my permission. The last thing I wanted was for him to think he did.

“That’s nice, Atty.”

He shrugged, rubbing his knuckles over his lips.

“I promise not to crash,” I joked, adding a chuckle for effect.

Silence.

Shit, this was awkward.

“How long are you staying?”

“Just the weekend. I have to be back on Monday for the club.”

My head tilted. “The club?”

“It’s a summer job.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I did it last year as a lifeguard. Got certified. They called to see if I wanted to come back for the summer.”

My jaw dropped. “I beg your pardon.” I attempted to keep my tone level. “You’re working as a lifeguard this summer?”

Atty really had no idea what he looked like. Of course they called him back. I needed to get a membership to that beach club. Immediately.

“It’s a decent job.” He eyed me warily. “A little annoying at times, but the pay is good.”

A laugh escaped me. “I’m sure it is. I’m not criticizing at all.” I leaned forward slightly. “Can I come watch you?”

His brows pulled together, golden-retriever confusion written all over his face. “Why would you want to watch me work?”

“Atty, come on.”

We stared at each other. He was so fucking clueless.

“What’s your uniform like?”

“Swim shorts. Muscle T.”

I nodded, my smile slipping through despite my best effort to rein it in, waiting for him to get it.

The moment it clicked, a slow flush crept up his neck, bringing color to his cheeks in the most flattering way possible. God, he was beautiful.

“Oh.”

“You are, by far, the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my life. And it’s not just because I love you. Other people notice it, too, you know?” I leaned in a little. “I’d be crazy to miss a chance to watch you reenact a Baywatch fantasy.”

He didn’t respond. Just looked away. His hand rested near his fork, fingers still. My gaze drifted to it. I really wanted to touch him.

Don’t do it. Keep your distance. Don’t fuck this up.

“It’s not really anything special.”

“I beg to differ.” I softened my tone, pairing it with a careful smile.

Atty pressed his lips together and leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his dirty-blond hair.

Fuck, I really wanted to touch him.

The need sat low in my gut. Heavy. Insatiable. If I climbed into his lap right now and kissed him until he forgot about everything else, would he let me?

I clenched my jaw and forced myself to breathe.

This. This was why we made the damn rules.

When I opened my eyes, I found him staring.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Atty.”

He shook his head, his expression turning serious. “I thought you were done keeping things to yourself.”

Well, shit. He got me there.

“I’m having a hard time keeping my distance,” I admitted.

His face softened first.

“I was just thinking about how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Then his shoulders eased, tension slipping away bit by bit.

“What did you think it was?”

He hesitated a second too long before saying, “I’m working on trusting you again, Noah, but when you look like that, I get bad flashbacks. I guess I was worried you were struggling with something else.”

That hit harder than I expected.

Tentatively, I reached for his hand, brushing my fingers lightly against his. “I haven’t struggled with strong cravings for a while, Atty. I know I can only show you that with time, but I’ll still say it every time you need to hear it.” I gave his hand a gentle pat and started to pull away.

But before I could, he closed his fingers around my wrist. He held my gaze as he loosened his grip just enough to slip his hand back into mine, lacing our fingers together.

“Thanks.” Then, after a beat, “And you’re allowed to kiss me when you want to.”

A smile tugged at my lips. “Can I?” I brushed my thumb over his.

“We’re trying,” he said simply.

But I knew what he meant. We were rebuilding this. Us. I needed to stop fearing his reactions.

I pushed off from my seat and moved to the one beside him, never letting go of his hand. Once I was close enough, I leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Then, unexpectedly, Atty’s hand slid to my neck, holding me there just long enough to press his lips to mine. A barely there kiss. Soft and brief, but enough to set off a frenzy of butterflies in my stomach.

“I thought you weren’t a fan of PDAs,” I said as we pulled back.

Atty arched a brow, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Noah, you were the one who broke those walls.”

My lips twitched. “That was a while ago. I thought you weren’t comfortable with people knowing your business.” I gave the room a pointed glance.

He frowned, then seemed to catch my meaning. “You mean about my sexuality?”

I nodded.

“I don’t mind at all, Noah. That part of me is pretty out in the open. I don’t apologize for it.”

Something about the way he said it made my heart soar. I had never seen him this confident before—and fuck, it made him even more attractive.

“Sorry, I forget you’re not a kid right out of high school anymore.”

Atty stopped and stared at me the way he always did right before saying something that either made me rethink my entire existence or knocked me flat with sweetness. Sometimes, it was both.

“I’ve only ever known what it’s like to be in a relationship with you,” he said. “Not all of it was great—we both know that—but our affection was never a bad thing. I liked that about us. There was no hiding what we felt.”

It was both again.

“I liked that about us, too, sweetheart. I just figured I had pressured you into it.”

His gaze held mine, sharp and steady, something unspoken hanging in the air. Then, with a small shrug, he let it go. “Well, yeah. You did. I’m not condoning all of it. You were really inappropriate at times.”

A startled laugh burst out of me, loud enough to turn a few heads. Atty smiled shyly as people glanced over at our table.

I calmed just enough to lean in and kiss his cheek. “I love you, Atty.”

It was still awkward after that, but in an enjoyable way. Even with all our history, these were first-date jitters. And I fucking loved it.

I drove him home after dinner, and before he left, he kissed me.

He tried to keep it light. So did I. But then he lingered a little too long.

One kiss melted into the next.

And the next.

And the next.

By the time his tongue brushed over mine, my hands were already tangled in his hair, angling him perfectly. We pressed as close as we could, the sound of our lips parting and catching together echoing through the car. Then somebody groaned—possibly me—and all hell broke loose.

Atty was practically on top of me, and I banged my knee on the steering wheel trying to give him more room. When we finally came up for air, our foreheads stayed pressed together, lips parted and panting.

“Whatever happens, that definitely still works,” I said.

His lips curved. “Definitely.”

My head was a mess. All I could think about was climbing into his lap and shoving my hand down his pants. I couldn’t even begin to describe how much I’d missed that specific part of his anatomy.

I cleared my throat. “So, I’ll see you on Monday?”