Chapter 25 #2
Atty rolled his eyes playfully, making me smile.
“Where are you planning on doing all of that? In LA?”
His lips pulled into a slow, thoughtful smile. “Maybe. Depends on where the right opportunities are.”
“You wouldn’t want to go back to Miami?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never been crazy about Florida. I’d miss my mom, but I’d still visit. Maybe have her fly out to see me,” he added. “Why’d you ask?”
“I just wanted to know where I’d have to follow you to.”
He gave me a look, like I was being ridiculous. “You wouldn’t have to follow me. We’ll build our lives together—find a way to make it work for both of us.”
Like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like this was a given now.
My chest tightened. I reached up, tracing the line of his jaw with my fingertips, watching as his expression softened. “Sounds like a plan.”
His lips found mine, warm and gentle.
“How about kids? Do you want them?” I brushed my mouth against his.
He chuckled, still close. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to. You?”
I hesitated. “It scares me. Kids are easy to fuck up. And I’m well known for doing the fucking up.”
“But do you want them?”
I pictured the house. Years from now, filled with our things—Atty and I running around a routine. The cat lounging on the couch and the dog barking at our feet as we rushed to get the kids ready for school. It was a nice picture. One that made my chest swell with hope.
“I want them,” I admitted quietly.
He smiled, and the room felt a little brighter. “Okay. Anything else?”
“How about marriage? The whole wedding thing. Yay or nay?”
I watched, transfixed, as a flush crept into his face—even the tips of his ears.
He grinned, sheepish. “I think it’s nice. So yeah, I guess I’m for it. Just…probably not right now.”
I chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to marry me tonight. When we get there, though, I’m going to make it a whole thing. Like a performance. You deserve a performance.”
He gave a quiet laugh, clearly pleased. It was obvious in the flush still warming his cheeks, in the way he pressed his lips together to hide his smile.
If someone had told me months ago that the same man who once looked at me with so much anger would now be gazing at me like this—soft and hopeful—I would’ve laughed in their face.
“I’m not going to let you down again,” I whispered.
Our eyes met, and his smile fell a little. He didn’t argue, just nodded after a moment.
“I know you don’t want me to keep saying it, so I’ll make this the last time, okay?”
Another quiet nod.
“I’m sorry for all I put you through. Every little thing that made you feel like you weren’t important to me—or that your feelings weren’t.
I think about it all the time. How much I regret those mistakes.
You take up most of my big five, Atty, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. ”
And I would. Every fucking day.
His thumb caressed my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. “You’re going to be an amazing dad.”
I choked out a laugh. “What?”
“I know you’re scared you’ll turn out like her. Or even your dad. That you’ll make a kid feel like you did—like you made me feel too. But you’re not like that.”
I stared at him, completely at a loss for words, stunned at how easily he’d read my fears.
“You feel everything so much, and I know you think that’s your weakness, but it’s not.
It’s the opposite. Being loved by you feels…
all-consuming. Limitless. There’s nothing like it.
That’s why I could never really let you go.
And I can only imagine how much bigger that love will grow when you have kids. They’ll be so lucky to have you.”
My heart couldn’t fucking take it. It was the best kind of pain I’d ever felt—gripping me, anchoring me there. I loved him so much.
“Lucky to have us. Our kids,” I corrected, because it just couldn’t be any other way.
He nodded, resting his forehead against mine. “Ours.”
He loved me. He loved me. Actually loved me—not the version I had once tried to curate, not the filtered version I thought people could tolerate—but me. The real me. He’d seen it all yesterday and still loved me. He’d stood beside me today and still loved me. Atticus King loved me.
I was going to give him everything.
Looping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Atty. Every second. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy—every day.
I’ll take you everywhere. We’ll see it all together.
Every court you’ve wanted to visit or play on, every beach you’ve wanted to swim at, every mountain you’ve ever dreamed of skiing.
All of it. Together,” I whispered against his temple.
He huffed a laugh against my neck. “I thought you weren’t going to propose tonight.”
“I’m not. I just want you to have the world. I want to give it to you.”
“I love you, too, Noah.”
I tightened my hold on him, needing him impossibly closer.
“I’ve never seen snow,” he said, voice quiet and a little shy. “That’d be nice.”
I pulled back, cupping his face in both hands. “What?”
“I’ve never been anywhere else but Florida and LA. And I guess now here. But it doesn’t snow there.”
“What about Christmas?”
He blinked. “It doesn’t snow for Christmas either.”
“Atty, we have to go somewhere with snow for Christmas! We’ll go with your mom if you want—but it’s a must. A must, Atty!” I shoved him back, jumped off the bed, and started looking for my phone.
Atty chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Booking tickets! Let’s pick a place. You, me, and your mom. I didn’t get a white Christmas for years either—it’s upside down in Argentina, so it snows in June. But when I finally did? Oh my god, Atty. You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s a whole vibe.”
“Your phone’s on the bedside table,” he said, pointing.
“Perfect. Snowy Christmas is going to rock your world. We could go somewhere to ski and knock two things off the list.”
I grabbed my phone and unlocked it—then froze.
Three missed calls from my mother. And a text from Ilana.
Lan
hey
I know you’re busy with Atticus, but would you want to meet up for dinner?
or before that, if you two have plans?
I really need to talk to you, and I think it should be face-to-face
Shit.
Atty sat up on the bed. “What is it?”
“Lan wants to meet now. Says she needs to talk to me.”
“Sounds serious. Want me to come with you?”
I stared at the screen. “No, that’s okay. I’ll meet her now, and we’ll do dinner after. The Space Needle—we haven’t hit any of the tourist stuff yet.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “We’ve got to start crossing things off the list anyway.”
“No, I meant with your sister,” he said, more gently.
I bit the inside of my cheek. I’d been dodging this conversation for years. Ilana had reached out before, and I’d shut her down every time. It was my way of protecting whatever thin threads still connected us. If I didn’t talk to her, I couldn’t lose her.
But I couldn’t live in fear forever. Not if I wanted to rebuild something real. And now…now I had Atty. If things got hard, he’d be there with me. That made me braver.
Me
ok
meet me at the hotel’s bar?
Lan
be there in fifteen
Time to face the music.