Chapter Twenty-Five #2
“Alright!” She emitted a single breathy laugh. “I understand.” She sighed as if her heart overflowed with emotion and she was tired of holding back the flood. “Do you know how much I love you, Gideon?”
His world stopped.
He’d hoped. He’d dreamt of it. He’d wondered what it would be like to hear those words from her.
But he had told himself he could survive knowing Caroline cared for him, adored his friendship, desired him physically, and she would be the most amazing mother and wife. All of those things together were more than so many men could ask for.
But this? To have her declare her love for him?
It was as intoxicating as if he’d drunk an entire bottle of brandy in a single go. His veins now buzzed with it, his head swam with it, and he never wanted it to end.
He did not doubt that his cascade of emotions was playing out across his face because she took pity upon him.
“This is not a new occurrence either,” she admitted.
“Years ago, my heart refused to listen to reason any longer. No matter how many times I warned it that it needed to avoid you, lest it ruin one of the few wonderful things remaining in my life, it disregarded me. I blame you, of course.” Gideon could not stifle a small chuff, but he remained otherwise silent for her to continue.
“Do you remember when my horse threw a shoe as we were riding in the park?”
“What was that—three years ago now?” he asked.
Caro nodded. “You immediately dismounted to examine her and determined that she could no longer be ridden. You told me in no uncertain terms that I should take your horse and you would walk mine back to the mews at Swanleigh House. I tried to insist that I would walk with you, but you, stubborn man that you are, refused to hear me. We bickered until you finally pulled me down from the saddle, carried me to Posy, and deposited me upon his back. Thank goodness I wore my riding habit with the split skirts that day. You then attempted to shoo me on my way, but I refused…” Caro paused, her glittering eyes dancing over his face.
“If you were going to walk, then we would walk beside you.
The distance was greater than a mile and we spent the entire time in wonderful conversation.
“‘How could a woman know this man and not fall in love with him?’ I thought to myself. My heart fought the good fight in the face of your charm, good looks, and overwhelming thoughtfulness, but I suspected at that moment that those days of resistance were at an end. There was simply no help for it.”
Gideon was in awe of her admission. Both his chest and his throat tightened with unfamiliar emotion, and even his eyes burned from it. To know she had loved him for so long and disguised it so well… God’s wounds, it was humbling.
“I can see that I have been sorely remiss in my declarations of love, and, for that, I apologize. I shall do my best to remedy that from now until forever. I love you, Gideon Bray. I have loved you for years. I shall never stop loving you. You are selfless, kind, amusing, tenacious, and brave. You are everything I’d ever wanted in a knight in shining armor, and everything I thought I’d never deserve.
And you saved me.” She brought his palm to her abdomen. “You saved us.”
Mouth agape, Gideon could only shake his head.
“But you are wrong,” he murmured. She shook her head.
“You are wrong, Caroline. You saved me. Our friendship came at a time when I did not know who I was, other than a wretched man’s heir.
You called to a part of me and I could not deny the insistent pull.
The hold began the very first day we met.
I knew you were someone I could never walk away from.
And I mean it when I say I would do it all again.
All of it. I would spend evenings running roughshod through London with you; I would celebrate birthdays and pass endless hours playing cards; I would knock Callbeck’s teeth in over and over again; and I would, without question, place my life before yours whenever it was needed.
Your friendship gave me joy, but your love has given me hope.
I did not know what that was, and I needed you to teach me.
Keep teaching me, darling, because I will forever be your pupil. ”
Caroline’s tears were freely flowing by the time he finished speaking.
Emotion was thick in his throat, but he managed to maintain control.
He reached up and swiped at the offending streaks on Caro’s cheeks with his thumb.
“Do not become overwrought,” he gently chided.
“The last thing I desired was to overtax you.”
“How can you expect me to not become emotional with a statement such as that?” Both of them choked on laughter, feeling lighter than they had in what felt like forever.
“And I will spend my days wondering how I was so lucky to be the one you chose,” Gideon said, pressing his forehead to Caroline’s before brushing his lips against hers in a reverent kiss.
She kissed him back, her tongue sweeping against the seam of his mouth.
He nearly groaned. How he wanted her. How hard she made him with just that small a gesture.
But he had to show restraint. He held her wrists, a pained groan rumbling through his chest, as he leaned back.
“If you are in no condition to be moved to Swanleigh House, then you are certainly in no state to accept all the things I desire to do to you…”
Her pupils dilated when her eyes met his. “Then we shall bide our time. Isn’t anticipation supposed to make the reward that much sweeter?”
“Nothing is sweeter than you are, that I can guarantee.”