Chapter Three
CHAPTER THREE
GEMMA
“That was fucking epic ,” Bonnie is saying as they hit the dressing room. She shakes Zeb’s shoulders, then circles the room, excitedly strumming her hands on the counter and the walls, even pushing over a few chairs. “Fucking— holy shit! ”
“Holy shit!” Reed exclaims, matching her energy and spinning her when she jumps into his arms.
“Goddamn madhouse,” Mads agrees.
“Insane,” Zeb adds.
Every adjective doesn’t feel like enough to describe what I just witnessed.
I lean against the door frame and cross my arms over my chest, watching them celebrate what was certainly an epic performance. God, my body hurts. When James said I’d be chasing Reed Matthews, I don’t think I realized he meant actually chasing him, let alone having to pick his ass up out of the crowd and carry him to safety. I knew he was a maniac onstage. I’ve seen them perform countless times.
Even so, being the person responsible for him is completely different when you’re in the moment.
My ears are still ringing from the noise.
The high-alert adrenaline is only starting to fade now that we’re backstage. Still, the hair on the back of my neck is standing, eyes still scanning for anything that might come up outside the safety of this room where they’re cooling down.
The band jumped into the walk between the stage and barrier after the show to sign autographs. The entire ordeal might have been uneventful, except that watching Bonnie is never ordinary for me. Even now… seeing Reed spin her around, the light in her bright, blue eyes when she makes faces and laughs with her friends… it’s almost overwhelming. A lump forms in my throat. A weight sits on my chest.
Being so close to her after all these years of following her in the shadows has me even more enamored with her than before.
I’m a goner for this woman.
And the fact that she picked up the poster I’d left in the audience and has it folded on the counter right now? I’m debating whether this is a dream. She took that poster as if she was waiting for it. I don’t think my heart has ever fluttered as much as in that moment, even if it surprised me that she didn’t mention it to anyone upon seeing it in the audience. I had expected to hear over the radio to keep an eye out, yet the call never came.
“—I don’t think I’m ever going to forget this fucking beast over here hauling Reed out of the pit like that,” I hear Zeb saying.
The sentence grabs my attention. I drag my gaze away from Bonnie to look at Zeb, who’s smirking at me as if he can see how focused I am on her.
The corner of my lip quirks when he holds his hand up for a high-five, and I quietly oblige.
“That was sick,” he adds. “Fucking good call.”
“I felt like I was being picked up by one of those claw machines at the arcade,” Reed says as he grins at me. “That was awesome.”
“Yeah, thanks for that,” Mads says, approaching me to bump my fist. “Glad to see you came prepared.”
I chuckle and exchange the friendly gesture. “I don’t know how to tell you all this, but I am actually good at my job,” I say, glancing Bonnie’s way.
Her ecstatic expression softens when our eyes meet, and as she cracks her knuckles, I suddenly forget that the rest of the band is talking to me. It isn’t until I see movement in my peripherals—their manager coming toward me— that I reluctantly peer away from her.
“Hey, fuck heads—Not you, you’re epic,” Avie says, gently touching my arm. “Well worth the money we’re spending on the little team you come with. Hey, shit bags,” he says as he finally gets the band’s attention. “Who’s my favorite fucking rockstars? I love you. I love you. And you. You’re all amazing. Reed, if you lose a finger in that crowd, don’t expect me to pay to have it sewn back on. Zeb, my guy, you always look like a serial killer. Bon, you’re perfection. I love you. Mads, go fuck yourself—”
Mads cackles and claps his hands together at the adoring sentiment.
“—I have to get back to the office before Don loses his shit on some new kids.” He presses the phone to his ear again and holds up a finger. “Yeah, I fucking hear you, Don. Can’t take a piss without hearing you— Hey , don’t do anything stupid this weekend,” he adds to the band. “And don’t make Stella want to quit. Or this one,” he says, pointing at me. “We like them. We want to keep them. We can’t afford better—Yes, shut the fuck up, Don, and let me talk to my—” Avie makes a gesture like he wants to throw the phone against the wall.
“Aren’t you supposed to be using countdowns for your anger?” Mads asks Avie.
Avie points a finger at him. “Again, go fuck yourself—Don, I’m hanging up. I’m hanging up. No I’m not fucking hanging up just for you to call me back—” He sighs and lets his arm hang by his side. “You get two days off. Be back in the studio on Monday. Lockdown for the next two weeks after that. Then it’s Radio Eleven and headlining again at RagnaRock. I want a new song on that fucking stage. Make it epic.”
“You know we will,” Mads says.
“Always,” Reed agrees.
“Okay, I love you asshats. Gemma—” Avie sizes me up, then pats my arm like he’s scared of me. “I’m sorry for any bullshit they put you through the next few weeks. Please don’t leave.”
I huff amusedly. “I don’t plan on it.”
“Good—Yeah, fuck head, I’m leaving now.” He holds his hand on the speaker one more time. “Great fucking show, guys. See you in a couple of weeks.”
Avie disappears down the corridor, and I can still hear him yelling at the person on the phone as he practically pushes his way to the steps leading down into the grass.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to fuck my wife,” Reed says, gathering his things.
“Yeah, you do that,” Bonnie says as the rest of them begin loading up their own bags. “Do you think Andi got pictures of her face when Reed pulled her onstage to introduce Mrs. Kelly-Matthews to the world?” she teases.
“Probably,” Mads says. He hoists his bag over his shoulder and pulls his mask up. “I’ll send it to you. See you fuckers on the lawn tomorrow.”
He and Reed leave together, both of them nodding with “Goodnight,” as they pass.
“Hey.” Zeb nods to Bonnie. “What are you doing right now?”
“Ah…” Bonnie’s gaze drifts my way. “Probably just crashing. Party hard tomorrow night, right?”
“Fuck yeah,” he replies. “Foster texted me about hanging out. Didn’t know if you wanted to come with.”
“He’s actually hosting a meeting at lunch tomorrow behind the third stage,” Bonnie says, and I realize she means an AA meeting. “I’ll see him then. Tell those fuckers from New Dawn I said I didn’t hear them chanting my name like they were supposed to.”
Zeb smiles at her. “Yeah, okay.” He peers my way over his shoulder. “You walking her to her trailer, Amethyst?”
My eyes narrow at the name, and it clicks that he chose a gem as my nickname, which prompts me to peer Bonnie’s way. “Does it mean I’m accepted into the gang if the quiet one gives me a nickname?”
Bonnie laughs and pushes her bag on her shoulder. “Something like that.”
I move away from the door and allow her and Zeb into the night air. Zeb leans over, kisses the top of Bonnie’s head, then yanks on a strand of her hair before disappearing into the night.
Bonnie’s eyes meet mine, and suddenly I feel like a nervous teenager. I don’t entirely know what to do with my hands. It’s weird, being in front of her and not stalking in the shadows. I’m so used to her not knowing I’m there that standing before her feels like this is the mask, and the suit I wear in the dark is my true self.
I almost laugh at just how true that statement is.
The person lurking beneath the surface of this skinsuit is much more selfish and violent than the person without the mask could ever be.
“Would you like an escort to your trailer, so the bogeyman doesn’t try to kidnap you?” I ask jokingly.
Bonnie smiles. “Honestly, I’ve always been fond of the bogeyman, but I’ve never considered having company in the kidnapper’s van. That’s a new twist,” she says playfully. She turns on her heel, and I follow behind her down the steps, admiring the view I’m so fond of.
She’s still sweating, her hair still damp from the absolute chaos of being behind that kit. The cropped sweatshirt she threw on backstage is hanging off of her shoulder, showing off her traditional-style rainbow skull tattoo that sinks over her arm and down her right shoulder blade.
“Was that your first Decay show?” Bonnie asks me.
Every show I’ve ever been to flashes behind my eyes.
“Yeah,” I lie. “It was epic.”
“Oh, so, you were not prepared for Reed, then,” she says with a laugh.
God, that fucking laugh, the way she’s smiling at me right now.
“I was not,” I admit. “James had warned me, though.”
“I feel like even a warning isn’t enough when it comes to Reed,” she replies. “Like even watching him perform. I still wouldn’t be prepared for the absolute embodiment of chaos that he is.”
I chuckle under my breath. “You are not wrong,” I mutter. “Is every show that wild?”
“DeathFest is a special occasion,” she says. “It’s like coming home, I think. It was the first festival that ever gave us a chance. We kind of grew up on that stage. Opening up the fest today…” She lets out a long sigh. “Fucking dreams,” she adds with a serene look.
I want to memorize that gaze.
“What about you?” she asks. “Is this the dream you thought you’d live when we were teens?”
I scoff. “Not fucking hardly,” I say. “Parents thought I would be a doctor or some shit.”
“So you became a professional bodyguard instead,” Bonnie says. “Totally natural progression.”
“Definitely,” I chuckle. “What person doesn’t go from learning about diseases to wanting to get in fights for a living?”
Bonnie’s laugh meets mine, and the quiet smiles we exchange make my heart skip.
We reach her trailer then, and Bonnie uses her phone to tap the passkey and open the door.
“Do you… do you want to come in? Catch up?” Bonnie asks, hesitating on the top step.
I press my hands to my hips and smile at the ground, amused at my luck that she’s already inviting me into her private space. The notion twists my insides, still, I force myself to play it cool.
“Ah… Yeah,” I say, screaming inwardly. “Yeah, that would be—”
“Hey, Gem,” a deep voice calls from a few feet away.
Fuck.
I almost forgot that I’m working.
I glance over, finding James nearby. He jerks his chin to the left. “You ready to go over tonight?”
“Yeah, give me a sec,” I call back.
“Are you in trouble?” Bonnie teases.
“Probably didn’t like me handling the prized pony like I did,” I say about snatching Reed up. I take a few steps back and smile her way, stomach fluttering at the way she’s watching me. “Raincheck on the catch-up?” I ask.
“Yeah,” she replies.
“And you have my number if you need anything,” I add because I don’t want to walk away from her.
I want everything.
I want all of this.
I want her to keep looking at me like this.
“First thing I did when I found out it was you,” she says.
I feel my brows lift slightly, and she clears her throat. “I mean… yeah,” she says with a shrug like she’s trying to play it off. “Yeah, I have it. Totally.”
I snicker, dying inside.
Is that a blush on her cheeks?
Bonnie’s lip draws behind her teeth, the small motion making me groan inwardly, and she takes another step inside the trailer. “It’s really good to see you again, Gemma,” she says softly.
“You, too,” I say. “See you tomorrow.”
“Night.”
I turn on my heel and head toward James before my feet carry me into that space with her. I need to calm down and not let this adrenaline lead me into something I can’t come back from.
Take it slow.
You’ve waited years for this.
Don’t fuck it up.
James greets me with a grin. “Chat in your trailer?” he asks.
“As long as it means I get to fucking sit,” I say.
James laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, you can sit.”