Chapter Sixty-One
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
BONNIE
“ You stupid bitch! ”
I’m blind with rage.
My chest heaves, racing heart pounding against my eardrums as the gun seems to vibrate in my hands. The heaping pile of shit on the floor is bleeding from the bullet graze at his thigh. My own blood trickles from my swelling nose and busted lip. There’s a ringing in my ears that’s wormed its way into my soul, and I know I’ll never get it out of my head.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if the shot alerted the other trailers around us. However, I’m so entirely fixated on this bastard that I. Don’t. Care.
And he’s going to admit everything he did before he takes his last breath.
“Say it again,” I utter, stepping forward.
Rad spits blood onto the ground, holding his arm. “Stupid fucking whore—”
My finger curls against the trigger again. The gun goes off, bullet lodging in his shoulder.
“Say why you thought you deserved me,” I go on.
Rad shouts in agony, cursing and clutching his shoulder, his chest heaving with every shortened breath. He glares my way, and I see it. I don’t know how I ever forgot it was him, his eyes, his voice. I can see him as clearly as I’ve ever seen anything now. There’s no denying it. Loathing stares back at me when our gazes meet, and only the fact that I want to hear him say what he did to me and to all the others stands between me and finishing this.
“Tell me that you thought I deserved to hurt,” I go on. “Tell me how you blamed me for your mistakes.”
Rad rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter what I think because you don’t matter. It was years ago. It isn’t like it actually hurt you. You couldn’t remember it anyway.”
I’m shaking.
“It didn’t… are you fucking kidding me?! ” I shout. “What about the other girls, huh? Did you think it wouldn’t hurt them either? Did you think that because they were wearing dresses that they were asking for it—”
“Those drunk sluts were asking for it—”
“No one ever asks for that!” I screech. “Tell me they were drunk again. Tell me they were nice to you, so you thought they wanted it. Tell me they were mean, and so they deserved to hurt. Tell me how they didn’t say no because they were barely conscious. Tell me their names. ”
Rad scoffs. “I didn’t ask for their names. What does it matter now? They don’t remember—”
“We remember,” I say through my teeth, tears falling from my eyes. “We fucking remember . You don’t have to have vivid descriptions to know how it felt to be violated like that. To have your safety ripped away. There’s always something in the back of your mind that you can’t shake.”
“You’re fucking dramatic,” he grunts.
“All of those women were someone . They all had names, friends, family. They were someone. And you collected and raped them like they were owed to you. Because you thought there would be no consequence. So, here’s your fucking consequence.”
I press the barrel tip to his temple, making him flinch.
All the women he hurt… I channel all of that rage as I glower at him one last time and press the tip into his skin.
And just as I open my mouth to deliver the last words he’ll ever hear, he spits in my face.
Everything happens at once.
His blood and saliva hit my eyes. He snatches the gun from my hand with his good arm and pushes me backward. My back hits the table. I scramble to wipe my face. He’s on his knees. I see the barrel rising from the corner of my eye. I grab anything within my reach—a glass plate, a porcelain bowl—
I swing.
The bowl collides with the side of his head, shattering against it. He cries out, the noise shrill enough that I shudder.
Yet I can’t stop.
I take the plate and deliver a backhanded blow. It sends him off balance for a long enough second that I grab one of the broken shards from the ground and, as he loses his balance, I kick him in the chest.
“Sit down. Shut up ,” I snap. “It’s just glass.”
The rage of millions swims through me.
I’m overcome with instinct, with all of their fight.
He glares at me and shouts something, blood spilling from his lips.
Chills roll down my spine at the look on his face. Behind me, I hear a commotion entering the trailer. However, it’s nothing more than a distant buzzing.
“Don’t just stand there! Do something,” he says to them.
“Wow, you are so emotional right now,” I say. “Chill out. Don’t be so dramatic.”
“You’re fucking crazy,” he snaps before looking toward the door. “Help me!” he says to them.
I laugh.
I fucking cackle.
“Help? Help?! Give me a break,” I sneer. “How many of those women asked for help, huh? And you told them, what? Don’t worry? I’ll be gentle?”
“Cunt—”
“Stop complaining, Rad,” I cut him off. “You asked for this when you walked into my trailer with your neck exposed. You really should have thought twice about what you were wearing if you didn’t want this to happen . ”
He spits at me again and tries to get up, but I swing, and the broken plate cuts deep through his cheek. Another scream leaves him. He doubles over on his hands and knees—
“Stop fighting. This would be a thousand times easier if you simply gave in,” I say.
I’m directly in front of him. Dangerously close.
And I’m begging him to try something.
Rad’s eyes cut behind me. “Aren’t you going to do something?!” he asks them.
“No.”
Kade .
“And that’s a complete fucking sentence in case you were confused,” Kade adds.
Rad spits blood on the ground. “Idiots. All of you. You’re going to let her do this to me? All of you deserve what’s coming to you. If you kill me—”
“I’m not going to kill you, Rad,” I interject, making my voice as taunting as I possibly can. “Is that what you think this is? No. No, this isn’t me killing you. This is just… death. After all, you’ve been begging me for it for weeks. Or did I get the wrong impression during those phone calls?”
His enraged eyes roll up to meet mine.
I can see the glass he’s curling his fist around, and nothing about that threat makes me think twice about stopping.
“I’m just fulfilling your fantasy,” I add. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t that what you asked for when you came to my trailer? It’s just dying.”
His chest is heaving. I know he’s about to lose his shit, and I’m fucking ready.
I drag the jagged glass down his cheek to his jaw, my feet steady.
“Don’t worry, drummer boy. I’ll make you feel good .”
The moment the last word leaves my lips, he lunges. Shouts sound behind me. Pain sears through my leg. The broken glass in my hand meets his neck. Liquid gushes over my hand as I fall backward—
My back hits the ground. Rad lands in a heap on top of me.
A dead heap.
Dead .
I don’t get a moment to think about it. Kade and Liam are over me. Liam pulls Rad off and turns him over. They’re saying something, but I can’t make it out. Kade takes the broken glass from my hand. I think there is another set of hands on me.
However, I’m fixated on Rad’s open, lifeless eyes.
He’s dead.
They’re all…
“Bon—Bonnie—”
Hands find my face. They pull my attention to them, and when I drag my gaze from Rad, I meet Mads’ sage eyes.
“We have you, Bed,” Mads says, his voice an echo. “We have you. It’s done. You’re safe.”
They’re all dead.
It’s over.
It’s over.
Voices rise and fill the room. There are people moving around me, hands touching my face, my hands. I can hardly hear everyone asking if I’m okay. My ears are still numb, still ringing.
My eyes move away from Mads to the person who Kade is checking on behind him. Curly hair sprawls out around her head, her arm draped over her stomach…
Gemma …
“Gemma—Gemma!”
I lunge out of Mads’ arms, ignoring the pain in my body as I crawl over the table to avoid Rad. Kade is checking her pulse, her limp arms. God, the blood… She’s bruised, beaten… My Gemma… I kneel onto the ground at her side and wrap my hand around hers.
“Gemma… Gemma! Is she…”
I blink as I look at Kade through tear-filled eyes.
“She’s okay,” he assures me.
“Paramedics are on the way,” Liam calls out.
Yet I’m too focused on Gemma for reality to truly hit me yet. I kiss her knuckles and swipe some of the blood from her lip. “It’s done, baby,” I whisper. “It’s done. It’s over .”
A heart monitor keeps going off in the room adjacent to Gemma’s.
Every time someone opens the door, I hear it, and it makes my heart sink a little more.
I’m thankful Gemma isn’t hooked up to one.
The aftermath is still a blur. I remember the police, the paramedics… Kade took care of talking with the cops and venue security as I climbed into the ambulance with Gemma. I was forced to get looked at myself while they were examining her. Staring at her now… fuck.
She’s going to be in so much pain when she wakes up.
Her arm is broken, hands bruised. They say she has a concussion. She’s bruised everywhere.
Still, she’s alive.
We’re both alive.
It’s been hours. Zeb has stayed with me most of the time, though whenever he leaves to check on something, Mads or Reed come in and wait with me instead.
I can’t move from the chair beside her.
“You know what would be nice?” Zeb asks me.
“What?”
“If we could have one year without one of us getting attacked,” he says, and I huff amusedly. “I mean, really. Is this just the kind of love we all attract?”
“I think so,” I answer.
The door opens and closes quietly then, and both Zeb and I look up to find Mads coming through the door, Kade behind him.
Kade gives me a soft look before his gaze moves to Gemma.
“How is she?” he asks.
“No different,” I say, sighing. “Doc says she’ll be up eventually. Pain meds have her down.”
He blows out a breath and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he steps up to the bed. “How are you?” he asks me.
“Not great,” I answer. “What’s the latest? What’s going on?”
“Police are doing… what they do,” he says, annoyance in his voice. “Your publicists are the ones scrambling. The incident is already making headlines.”
“Just saw,” Zeb says, holding up his phone. “ Metalcore band Young Decay at the center of yet another music festival drama. ” He scoffs. “Yay us.”
“Could be worse,” Mads says. “At least none of us are in jail.”
I give him a solemn look, though Kade sitting on the edge of the bed distracts me before I can speak. I squint at the way he’s watching me.
“So, I just wanted to… I’m sorry that I took that final blow from you,” he says.
I pause, ears perking.
Oh shit.
“I know what he did to you,” he goes on, his words sounding calculated. “I know it would have brought you some closure to have done that, but after he stabbed you, I had no choice. He lunged at you again. He was going to kill you. I’m just glad Liam and I arrived in time to stop him.”
I glance toward Mads and Zeb, who are both on the edge of their seats and listening to Kade as intently as I am.
“Um. Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, me too. Just in time.”
Kade nods. “I’m your bodyguard, Bonnie. It’s my job to protect you. Someone was hurting you. They tried to kill your security detail to get to you.”
I squeeze Gemma’s fingers, my heart sinking slightly. “Yeah,” I manage.
“You still have to make a statement,” he goes on.
Fuck .
I need to memorize everything he just said.
“You don’t have to worry about repercussions,” he says. “I have everything. Screenshots of when Rad began harassing you on the livestream. All the videos about you. The voice messages he’s left you the past three weeks. You’re okay. Both of you are okay.”
“Thank fuck you do your job,” I hear Gemma mutter.
My heart drops, my head whipping around in her direction. She has a lazy smile on her lips as she looks at her partner, and when those eyes drift to me, my insides somersault.
“Hey, baby,” she whispers.
I bring her fingers to my lips, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. “Hey,” I manage.
My heart is full looking at her, the world seemingly at peace—if only for a few seconds. Because sitting in front of me is my world, and I don’t plan on letting her go anytime soon.
“I’ll let you two have a minute,” Kade says, standing.
“Wait,” Gemma calls out, her voice hoarse. “Don’t go yet.”
“Gem, you need to rest,” he tells her. “We’ll figure all of this out when you’re not on enough pain meds to tranq a horse.”
Her chest moves like she wants to laugh, and she brings her broken arm over her stomach. “No, no… This—Is my fucking arm broken?” she asks as she looks at the cast.
“Among other things,” Kade says.
“That’s annoying,” she grunts before looking at him again. “This is important. I need to tell you.” She swallows against her dry mouth, and I reach behind me to get her water, then help her take a sip as Kade pauses at the end of the bed.
“What’s up?”
“Rad mentioned someone worse than him,” Gemma says, her eyes fluttering. “He said we were taking away money from someone. We need to find out who it is so we can be prepared.”
Kade nods. “I’ll start with the name on the lease,” he replies.
“What was the name?” I ask.
“Ah…” He scratches his neck as he thinks about it. “Halstrom, I think.”
Zeb perks in his chair at the same time that Mads picks his chin up off of his fist.
“Halstrom?” Zeb repeats.
“Is that his last name or his first name?” Mads asks.
“Last name,” Kade answers.
Mads gives Zeb a wide-eyed, annoyed look, and Zeb balks.
“Whoa, dude—”
“Dude, I fucking told you not to mess with Hal,” Mads snaps.
“You don’t know what it’s him,” Zeb argues.
“You and your pranks,” Mads goes on.
“That was such a long time ago. You can’t think he’s actually still pissed about that,” Zeb says apprehensively. “And you said he was dead anyway.”
“He’s a fucking ghost, man. Yeah, I heard he was dead, but since when does that matter for shady ass people?”
“You trusted him,” Zeb says.
“No, I didn’t,” Mads argues. “I was in jail with him. I just knew he could fuck someone up if I ever needed it.” Mads sinks his fingers into his eyes. “Shit… for all I know, when I told him about Rad, Hal could have confronted him then and told him he’d keep it quiet if he worked for him.”
“Did you ever hear Hal mention Damien?” Gemma asks Mads.
Mads slowly shakes his head, eyes staring at the carpet as if he’s trying to remember. “No. Why? Did Rad know Damien?”
“Yeah,” Gemma manages. “Kade, do you have—”
However, Kade already has his phone out. He turns the device around to Mads, and Zeb stands up to see the photo he’s brought up on the screen.
“No fucking way,” Zeb grunts.
“That’s Hal,” Mads says. “Damien, Pat, T… All of Rad’s shithead pals. Where the hell did you get this picture?”
“And when the fuck did they take it?” Zeb asks. “That’s after we kicked him out. Look—he didn’t get that neck tattoo until after Bonnie joined us.”
“Son of a bitch,” Mads mumbles.
“Which one is Hal?” Gemma asks.
Kade sighs when he looks at her. “The one I couldn’t find a visual on.”
“Fuck,” she grunts.
I don’t like whatever is happening right now.
“Wait. You’re saying this Hal guy you met in prison is also friends with Rad?” I ask.
“More likely his keeper,” Zeb mutters.
“Why did I hear the names Hal and Damien?”
The four of us turn at the sound of Wren’s voice. She, Andi, and Reed are in the open door, gift shop goodies in their hands.
Though, the warm welcome is overshadowed by the sudden fear on Wren’s face.
Gemma winces as she sits up. “I’m in too much pain to keep up with all of this,” she mutters. “I need someone to spell it all out.”
“How do you know Hal?” Zeb asks Wren.
“I…” Wren swallows. “My brother,” she answers.
Reed sets the massive teddy bear onto the side table and reaches for her hand.
“Did your brother work for him?” Kade asks.
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “Sometimes when Travis was in and out of rehab, I heard him saying he owed Hal money. I thought he was just a drug dealer.”
“Was your brother ever into gambling? Sports betting?” Kade asks.
Wren gives him a look. “He was into everything.”
“Motherfucker,” Mads mutters as Andi goes to stand beside him. “God, this is great.”
“Well, it’s been fun, guys,” Zeb says, clapping his hands. “We had a good run. Might be time to flee the country.”
“Change our names, at the least,” Mads says.
“So much for the album,” Zeb adds.
“Okay, let’s everyone take a beat,” Kade says.
“Kade’s right,” Gemma says. “No one is fleeing the country or changing your names. But Zeb, you are moving. So, start packing your shit. We will find a space in the same building as everyone else. I don’t care if I have to pay someone to move.”
“Dammit, I like that place—”
“As the person in charge of your safety, I am telling you I want all of you in that fucking building,” she says, obvious pain threading her tone. “I’m not making that mistake again. You don’t leave without telling us. You don’t go anywhere without an escort. This just got ten times more serious than someone simply wanting revenge on only one of you—not that that was ever simple, but at least it was only one. All of you have your hands in this now. It’s personal.”
The room goes quiet, each of us looking between each other. It’s apparent—the fear that any of us could be targeted now. Any of our fans. Anyone around us. The people we love…
I grasp Gemma’s fingers and bring her palm to my lips. Her jaw tightens as our eyes meet, and I wonder if her heart is fluttering the way mine is.
I need a moment alone with her before this becomes too complicated, before she’s consumed with work and I don’t get to talk to her until night falls.
“You know what? I need you fuckers out,” I say to the room. “Come back with good news, will you? Let Gemma rest an hour before we throw her into danger again.”
Mads and Zeb begin quietly arguing back and forth the moment they stand. I try to shut them out as I climb into the bed with Gemma, careful not to touch anywhere that she’s injured. Kade catches up with Wren, and I can see the defensiveness in Reed’s eyes as he makes sure to stay close to her.
And once they’re all out and the door closes, Gemma’s shoulders droop.
The quiet is nice for once.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly.
I slowly toy with her hand. “Not really,” I admit. “That was fucking scary. And now, hearing it might not be the end of it…” I blow out an audible breath, billowing my bangs off my face. “I wish everything could be simple for once.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice,” she says, and I chuckle.
She watches me for another beat, thumb swiping over the back of my hand. “I should’ve told you that I was the one who caused him to overdose that night,” she says. “I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did. All of this was my fault. Everything.”
I squeeze her fingers. “I don’t think Rad needed your help destroying his own life… I think regardless of if it was the roofie that night or his own vices, that was still the night he was going to lose his place in the band. He didn’t deserve to be their drummer.”
“I can’t say that I regret what I did,” she says.
“I don’t think you should,” I reply. “He was a fucking asshole.”
She huffs. “A goddamn dickwad,” she mutters, and the smile she gazes at me with makes my heart swell.
“Do you still mean it?” she asks.
I don’t have to be a detective to know what she’s asking about.
The question makes me huff. I shift and scoot further up the bed. “Do I still love you after my rapist tried to murder us? I mean… I don’t know. I kind of feel like that ruined all the magic.”
Gemma snickers, hand going to her stomach like she’s trying to stop herself from laughing.
“All the blood. Weapons. It’s a lot,” I go on, grinning. “I don’t know how I feel about hooking-up with a bloodthirsty stalker anymore.”
“Oh no, don’t make me laugh,” she says, laughing and clutching her stomach.
I laugh with her, sighing as she eventually straightens back out.
“Hopefully that part is over,” she says. “Because all I want to do is love you.”
I lean over and press my lips to hers. “Me too.”