23
The first week of November consisted of sitting exams, studying for exams, and phone calls with Dad. He’d first ask me how an exam went, but soon enough, we’d talk about Mum.
I had so many questions—where was she? Was she happy? Did she have another family now? But Dad didn’t have many answers. They didn’t keep in touch, and Dad told me in a gentle voice it was very unlikely she’d ever come to visit us.
It hurt, but I think I always knew it, deep down. She’d left more than a decade ago.
I did end up removing the keychain I had with her photo in it. Seeing it now just made me feel depressed. And also pretty pissed off.
By Friday, all my exams were finished. Elena still had a few more to go, so I kept out of her way by hanging out at Lygon U’s libraries and planning my summer. I’d spend Christmas and New Year at home with the family, but apart from that, I’d stay in Melbourne, and I wanted to do something useful with my time.
Unfortunately, there were very few internship opportunities for first years. I wanted to do something related to science and medicine, and so I applied for a few clinic receptionist casual jobs, but I was doubtful I’d actually get the position, given my mostly-empty CV. So, I ended up applying for any job I could find.
I’d just submitted yet another job application when a thunk of books dropping onto a desk next to me tore me from my reverie.
I glanced up. Blond and tall.
“Oh,” I said. “Tyler.”
His gaze fell on me, and his brows jumped. “Hayden, hey. How’re you going?”
“Yeah, good,” I said, because that was the answer you were supposed to give. “Finished exams, so just applying for jobs. How are your exams going?”
He sat down and pointed at the books he’d dumped on the desk. “Just gotta finish my last essay, and I’m done.”
“When’s it due?”
He tapped his phone screen. “About… three hours?”
“Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t distract you.” I started to turn back to my computer.
He waved a hand. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve got heaps of time. Just gotta do the references.”
I frowned at the pile of books. “What are those for?”
“Well, I’ve only got four references, and the minimum is ten, so I was hoping to find some relevant quotes here.” He gestured at the books. “The essay’s finished, I just gotta squeeze some more sources in, so it looks like I did more research than I actually did.” He tapped his head. “Work hard, not smart.”
“Right,” I said. “What’s your major?”
“Well,” he said, sounding like he’d answered this question a lot. “First it was philosophy, but instead of talking about the meaning of life, we were talking about stuff I didn’t understand. So I switched to classics, because I thought it’d be Percy Jackson stuff, but instead, we were taking classes on Ancient Greek and Latin. Like they legit wanted us to learn these dead languages so then we could read texts in those languages. I was like, what the fuck? And so now I’m doing screen studies, which I thought would be just us sitting around watching Christopher Nolan. But no, they had us watching French movies no one’s ever heard of. And by then, it was too late to change my major again, so I’m stuck writing about Shreiber film theory.”
“Right,” I said again, because I wasn’t sure what else to say, and it was a lot to take in. “Do you enjoy it?”
“No.”
That hung in the air. Tyler’s expression suddenly changed to something cautious and careful.
“You haven’t hung out with Nick in a while, have you?”
I tried to maintain a neutral expression but felt myself flinch. “No. Did he tell you that?”
Tyler gave me a look. “He doesn’t tell me much, but he’s been spending more time than usual with me. And, well. He’s been moping.”
“I can’t imagine Nick moping.”
“Well, I couldn’t imagine Nick letting someone spend the night at his.”
I frowned at Tyler, remembering that odd conversation we’d had the morning after I’d slept over at Nick’s studio.
“Nick’s very protective over his space,” Tyler said.
I looked at my screen. Was I supposed to be flattered?
“We had a disagreement,” I said, hoping that would put an end to the conversation.
In my periphery, Tyler nodded slowly. “I know whatever went down is between you two, but… listen, Nick can be a thickhead. He pretends not to care, but he does. He really does.”
I knew he was trying to be helpful, but I only felt more deflated.
“It doesn’t matter whether he cares if he won’t admit it,” I replied. “Did you have to strong-arm him into being your friend?”
“I did have to wear him down,” Tyler confessed. “That took me years. You did it in a few months. He’s always been this way, even since primary school. I don’t know why. I don’t know if something happened or if he was just born… reserved. But you made him happy. And… he misses you.”
“Did he say that?”
“No. But I know it.”
“Yeah, well, I miss him too. Difference is, I’m not scared to say it aloud.”
I started typing gibberish on my computer to look busy, because I didn’t want to keep talking about this. I knew Tyler was trying to make me feel better, but all I felt was that familiar pang in my chest I got whenever I thought of Nick.
I only heard back from one job I applied to, which was working for a pizza chain restaurant. A bored-sounding woman called me to inform me I had an interview the following day.
Elena paused her exam studying to talk to me—either because she saw me freaking out or because she wanted a break from her Principles of Microbiology and Immunology subject.
“Calm down,” she said. “If they’re calling you for an interview, you’ve probably got it.”
“You don’t know that. You’ve never had a part-time job.”
“But Atticus has. Let me tell you, they’ll hire anyone.” It must have been clear on my face that I didn’t find that very reassuring because she gestured to the coffee table. “Sit down. Let’s practise.”
Once we were sitting down on opposite sides at the coffee table, Elena cleared her throat and pretended to shuffle some imaginary papers. “Hayden Miller, lovely to meet you. Tell me a bit about yourself.”
I stared at her. “Um. I don’t think they ask that—”
“They definitely ask you that. It’s like the first question they ask.” She looked at me expectantly.
“Okay. Well. My name is Hayden Miller… like you just said. I’m studying a Bachelor of Science at Lygon University. The end.”
“You’re meant to sell yourself.”
“Oh. Well, since I’m attending a good university, that must mean I’m somewhat smart? Right?”
Elena sighed. “Let me rephrase the question. Why are you the best person for this position?”
“Because I… I…”
“What are your strengths and weaknesses?”
“Well, I have a lot. Of strengths, that is. Sure, I don’t have any experience—”
“Don’t say that.”
“Okay. While I may not be the most qualified person in the world—”
“Don’t say that either.”
“Oh my god,” I said, my shoulders slumping. “I don’t deserve this job at all. I have no idea why they asked me in for an interview. I have no idea what to say. Maybe… maybe I don’t have any strengths.”
I was hoping for some empathy, but Elena looked at me with raised brows like I was a total idiot. “Hayden, can you not be melodramatic for one second? It’s not that deep. It’s not like this is an interview to be Prime Minister of Australia. Just give a somewhat coherent answer, screw any humility you have that’s holding you back, and answer the question.”
Right. Right. I could do this. It was a pizza restaurant job, for god’s sake.
I cleared my throat. “My name is Hayden Miller, and I have several strengths that make me perfect for this job. I am punctual and a fast learner. I’m organised and great at working both independently and as part of a team. You will see in my application that I am available to work Monday to Sunday, morning to night. While I do not have any experience working in this specific industry, I am committed to making your pizza parlour the best pizza parlour in Melbourne. When I want to achieve something, I won’t stop until I get it, and there’s nothing I enjoy more than setting goals and improving myself. Perhaps that’s one of my weaknesses—that I overstretch myself in the pursuit of greatness. Maybe sometimes I second-guess myself. But I know my worth. And I can say with complete confidence that it would be a mistake not to hire me.”
Wow. I actually believed the words escaping my mouth. I guess confidence made anything sound convincing.
Elena leaned back with a pleased smile.
“Wow,” she said.
I walked into the pizza restaurant wearing black slacks and a button-up shirt. A woman who looked only a few years older than me walked out from behind the counter to greet me. She wore a white and red polo top and a matching cap.
“Hayden?” she asked, snapping bright blue bubble gum.
I beamed. “Yes, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.”
I thought the interview would happen in an office, but she gestured for me to sit down at one of the tables out the front. The table surface was sticky, and the red leather of the chairs was split and cracked.
“You’re a student?” the woman said.
I nodded. “Yes. At Lygon University—”
“Visa? Australian Citizen?”
“Australian Citizen,” I said. “I didn’t bring my passport with me—”
She waved a dismissive hand. “You can work weekends? Nights?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll get you started next week. The uniform cost comes out of your first paycheck, and you’ll be reimbursed when you return the uniform when you leave. I’ll send all the information to your email. Thanks.”
And that was that.
Exam season finished, and Elena went out to celebrate with Atticus by watching a recently released adaption of a Jane Austen novel. They invited me to join them, but I declined—I wasn’t a huge fan of period dramas and wasn’t in the mood to watch a gentleman give some grand speech about how much he loved the heroine.
I sat at my desk, clearing files on my computer while listening to music, which might’ve sounded boring, but I found it genuinely enjoyable to organise stuff. Through my window, the orange sun dipped behind silver skyscrapers.
I opened a file on my desktop named Personal Edification. Photos, infographics, ebooks and PDF files popped up. 3 6 questions to fall in love. The complete guide to seduction. 20 Kissing Techniques.
I deleted all of them.
Something rang out in the living room, and I paused my music. It was the intercom. Was it Elena? Had she forgotten her keys? That wasn’t like her. Maybe it was a delivery.
I walked out to the living room and checked the intercom screen. My breath caught in my throat.
It was Nick, standing on the street, hands behind his back, wearing a little frown.
I pressed answer. “Hello?”
“Hayden.” He sounded relieved. “Sorry I’m here out of the blue. I should’ve called, but um… can I come up?”
Even his voice sent back a flood of memories.
“Why?” I asked, my voice a little rough.
He blinked. “I need to talk to you.”
Part of me—a petty, angry part that I thought had faded away by now—wanted to torture him or say no. But he had let me up when I went over to his place, so it was only fair to let him up too.
Also, I did want to see him.
I pressed the button to let him in, ran to my bathroom, and spent the next thirty seconds fixing my hair and making sure there was nothing stuck in my teeth.
When there was a knock at the door, I rushed over to open it and tried not to show I was out of breath.
“Hi,” Nick said. Now that I was looking at him in person, I noticed he was a bit… twitchy. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, and his hair was slightly windswept. He looked gorgeous, which was both annoying and heart-stopping.
“Hi,” I said. “Why do you have your hands behind your back?”
He shoved his hand forward, revealing he was holding a single red rose.
I stared.
“Is that for me?”
He pushed it into my hands. “Who else would it be for?”
“I don’t understand.” My voice sounded like it was coming from far away.
“Can we talk inside?” he asked, and I realised he was still standing in the hallway like a stranger.
I stepped backwards, waving him in and closing the door behind him.
We stood there awkwardly, standing in front of each other.
“I know it’s random of me to show up at your place,” he began. “Normally I would’ve called first, but I wasn’t sure you’d agree to see me. And besides, it’s more romantic to just show up. At least that’s how it seems in the movies.”
I stared. Had we momentarily swapped personalities?
“The thing is,” he carried on, “I want to take you out. On a date. Tonight. I know that you might have plans, so it’s okay if you can’t—”
“Why do you want to take me out?” I asked.
I expected a dry why do you think? But his response was genuine. “Because I want to apologise to you, and I want to talk to you. You can say no.”
I looked down at the rose, and my heart clenched. I didn’t care about flowers, not really, but it was the meaning of it. Nick had walked into a flower shop, picked it out and bought it for me. “No, I’ll go,” I said. “Where are we going?”
For the first time, he smiled, though it was shy. “It’s a surprise.”
“I’ll get ready, then. Is there a dress code?”
“What you’re wearing now is fine.” He gestured at me.
I looked down at my worn cotton polo shirt and jeans.
“Okay. I’ll just…” I took the rose over to the kitchen. We didn’t have vases, so I took out a tall glass, filled it with water, and popped the stem in. I set it on the corner of the kitchen bench—a pop of blood red amongst white surfaces and silver appliances.
After grabbing my keys, phone and wallet, I turned to Nick.
“I’m ready,” I said.