Chapter 7
STASSI
Save for the men outside patrolling, inside the Kastaris estate is too quiet. Elena and anyone else here left for the night, and since Theo's gone, it's just me.
I probably shouldn't leave my room, but I tried calling them and they aren't answering, so sitting here will drive me crazy.
I pry open the door and move down the hallway, the floor's coolness coming through my socks.
Coming out of the hallway, the moonlight shines through a large window, creating white stripes across the marble floors—the same marble I once danced across completely naked on a dare from Theo while we laughed uncontrollably.
As I walk past the area now, it feels like I'm trespassing on a life I abandoned. I feel like maybe I should have just stayed in the guest room.
My hand brushes a table as I walk, and more muscle memory kicks in.
I instantly know every turn, every door, every crack in the plaster they never fixed.
I pause at the archway leading into the library.
The fire isn't lit, but I can still see it as it was four years ago: Theo in the armchair, whiskey in hand, telling me how excited he was about a new boat he was going to get and all the places we'd sail to.
God, I loved listening to him when he was like that.
So animated. So focused. So full of dreams.
I wonder if he ever got the boat?
I shut my eyes, trying to stop the onslaught of memory.
But it comes anyway, and after a few happier flashbacks, the one I dreaded enters my mind—aggressively—and takes over every thought I have, forcing me to relive it.
The bedroom was dark, but I didn't need the light. I knew our room here like I knew him—intimately.
I stood at the edge of the bed, heart beating a million miles a minute, my hands trembling. The duffel at my feet was packed: cash I hadn't touched in years, a new passport I hadn't planned on having, and every ounce of guilt I could carry.
Theo lay asleep. One arm flung over the spot I usually filled. His breath deep and slow. Peaceful. That's what broke me the most—how peaceful he looked. He had no idea I was about to rip his heart out. Hell, I had no idea just how badly I was going to rip mine out, too.
I leaned down, wanting to give him one last kiss, but I was afraid I'd wake him. So I blew him a kiss and whispered, "One day, you'll say it was for the best."
Then I slipped out the door to a waiting car and disappeared to Los Angeles to live among aspiring actresses, never to set foot back in Greece until now. I haven't even visited my mother's grave in Chicago because it was too risky.
There's a light in my life now, but a lot of darkness too.
Still, if I had to do it all over, for Theo, I would.
Because that's how much that man meant to me, and sometimes, you need to put their needs first—even if it causes you an eternity of grief.
You hold onto the fact that you did the right thing.
You protected them. You gave them the life they want, even if they don't know it yet.
I shake my head and start walking again. I don't have a destination, just the need to move. Staying still means thinking. And thinking means remembering things I can't change.
I hear a car pull into the driveway, and I don't even need to look to know it's Theo's car. I'm too far from my room, so I slip into the library and watch as he enters.
He looks toward the direction of my room and pauses for a moment. His face—so defined, so masculine. He wears some stubble now on his face, which he didn't before. I like it.
He moves, and I sink back into the darkness of the room, praying he doesn't come in here.
He walks past, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
I'm not entirely sure why, but I decide to follow him. I cut through the kitchen and across the living room to the hall leading down to the study. The door's cracked open, and I know that's where he went.
I stand like a statue for what feels like ten minutes, debating what I should do. My brain says one thing, my heart says another.
This time, I follow my heart.
I open the door, and he looks at me.
"I forgot you were here," he says, and it feels like he pulled the gun he's holding and pulled the trigger.
"I thought I heard you come in," I say, my voice quiet, not wanting to tell him I'd watched him from the library.
"You should be resting," he says, his tone firm.
"I've been sleeping for hours and now I'm wide awake from the time change," I say, not moving from the doorway. "Have you eaten?"
The question comes out so domestic, so normal—like I have a right to care.
"What do you want, Stassi?"
I clear my throat, trying to find something inside me to stop from wanting to curl up in a ball. "I was just—" I stop, then start again. "I saw Elena saved your dinner. I thought maybe we could talk."
"Now you want to talk," he says with a sarcastic laugh. "Act like nothing? Just chat over dinner?"
I look down, my fingers twisting together. "I deserve that."
"You deserve—" he stops himself this time. "Fine. You want to talk? Talk. Tell me where you've been."
"I've been surviving," I say. It's mostly true. Maybe more than I admit even to myself.
"That's not an answer."
I finally take a step forward. "It's the only one I can give you right now."
He slams the glass down. "Not good enough."
"Theo—"
"Do you have any idea what it was like?" The words burst out of him. "You were just gone. No warning, no goodbye, nothing. I looked for you. I had people searching for months. Here. Chicago. Christ, I even thought you were dead."
My eyes widen. I always wondered what he did. How soon after I left did he realize I did him a favor? "You looked for me?"
Theo gets up and walks over to me, stopping just short of touching me.
"Of course I fucking looked for you. What did you think?"
I take a step back. His towering presence frightens me slightly.
He drops his hands and rubs his forehead.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he says, his voice the calmest I've heard.
"No, no. I know," I say but don't move.
Theo takes a step back and sighs. "I just want to know what happened to you, why you're here, and what kind of trouble you're in, so I can deal with it and you can just disappear again."
I look at him, search for something—understanding, maybe. Something to help me even process what’s going on. But I'm not finding it.
"It's complicated," I say.
"Then uncomplicate it."
I take a deep breath, straightening my shoulders.
"I went to Los Angeles. I got a job as a waitress with a girl who referred to herself as a 'minor celebrity' because she was in one toothpaste commercial and played a dead hooker on one of those cop shows.
I lived in a shitty one-bedroom apartment and wondered if my life was really meant to end up this way," I say and cross my arms. "Did I try to make the best of it every day?
Yes. But did I regret things? Of course I did. "
Theo looks at me for a moment. "I did track you to Los Angeles, but you went cold, and after a few months, I gave up because clearly, you didn't want to be found."
"I went by a different name. I couldn't be me in that life, because it felt like I was living someone else's. But none of that matters now. What does is the fact that I need you now, Theo. You're the most powerful man I know. From the most powerful family I know."
Theo narrows his eyes at me. "Flattery won't help you. Who is after you?"
"Someone. Someone who..." I stop, considering my words without too much detail for now.
"Someone who what?" he pushes me.
I rub the back of my head. "Someone who wants what I have."
"Which is?"
God, how could a moment feel like both the best time and the absolute worst time simultaneously?
I pause for a moment, not sure what to say.
"Is it illegal?" he asks. "Money, information, evidence?"
"No, Theo. It's not illegal," I say firmly.
"Then what?"
I shake my head. "Please. Just give me some time. What I want to tell you…I need…I just have to figure things out."
He scoffs. "You mean like if you can trust me?" He throws up his arms.
“No, of course not. If I couldn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be here. I just moved so fast once I got —” I stop myself.
He turns away from me. “You’ve changed.”
"I haven't changed that much," I say, as my fight-or-flight instincts make me deflect. "You're the one who's harder now. Colder. I can see it in how you move, how you speak. Something happened to you, Theo. Something beyond me leaving."
He cocks his head like he's fighting to unleash a slew of words at me.
"You don't know anything about me anymore."
"Maybe not," I concede. "But I know enough to be here, asking for your help. Not anyone else. You."
The words hang between us.
"Yeah, well. I'm going to bed," Theo says and walks past me.
"What about your dinner?" I ask him as he passes.
"You eat it," he says without looking back. "And if you get the desire to slip out in the middle of the night again, don't hesitate."