Chapter Twenty
Abigail-Ann
“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
~ Nicholas Sparks
C uriosity—or maybe self-preservation—had me Googling Mikkel again.
The usual rumors surfaced. A man who kept to himself, thriving in the shadows while the world speculated. Headlines buzzed about his latest deal in Chicago, his name tangled with power and mystery. For someone so private, I couldn’t help but wonder—where did I fit into all of this? Did he guard his personal life as fiercely as the rest of him?
I pushed the thought aside. It wasn’t my place to pry. Not yet, anyway.
But anxiety had a way of ignoring boundaries .
With one last glance at my freshly organized living room, I allowed a small smile. Unpacked boxes, framed photos, DVD’s lined up just right—it finally felt like home. Maybe staying up all night on FaceTime with Mikkel had given me the energy to power through. Or maybe I just needed the distraction after two days trapped in Ticketmaster hell, only to watch Lana’s concert tickets slip through my fingers.
Frustration lingered, but I shook it off and hurried to work, the scent of books lifting my mood.
While sorting through a box of new arrivals, I spotted a young woman scanning the shelves, eyes bright with curiosity.
“Looking for something in particular?” I asked, offering a warm smile.
She turned, excitement flickering across her face. “I’m just getting back into reading and hoping to find a good romance. Any recommendations?”
I nodded, already reaching for a fan favorite. “If you’re into sweet and swoony, The Dating Playbook by Farrah Rochon is a great pick. But if you want something spicier, Sylvia Day never disappoints.”
Her grin widened. “Thank you so much!” She dove into browsing, and I returned to stocking the shelves, until my phone buzzed.
Mikkel.
My stomach flipped as I quickly stepped into a quieter corner to check the message.
S: Are you free Friday?
Me: I am. What’s up?
S: Our second date.
Me: Is that so?
S: It is so.
Me: Where to this time?
S: Coney Island.
My heart stuttered. Coney Island. The words fizzed in my chest like champagne bubbles.
Me: It’s definitely a date.
S: Perfect. We’ll talk later because I know you’re at work.
S: Have a good day, bonita. 43
I bit my lip, the warmth of his words lingering even as I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
Me: *kissy face emoji*
Mikkel’s text echoed in my mind as Adeline called me into her office. She complimented my work ethic, which was a nice boost. After thanking her, I wrapped up my shift and headed home, exhaustion creeping in. Just as I sank into the couch, a knock at the door yanked me back to reality.
Azzaria’s cheerful voice rang out. “Hey, it’s me!”
I dragged myself to the door, finding her holding a beautifully decorated chocolate cake. “I baked this for you!”
“Sweet heaven, thank you!” I grinned, taking the cake as she walked in.
We settled in the living room, the cake’s aroma filling the air as I cut us each a piece. “You look wiped,” Azzaria remarked.
“You think?”
“How was work?” she asked, taking a bite.
“It was good. Adeline gave me some positive feedback from customers. Felt nice to hear.”
“I knew you’d kill it there,” she smiled. “You’re great with people.”
“Thanks, Azzy. How about you?” I asked, savoring the cake.
“It’s good! Had fun baking and started a new project at work, but we’ll talk about that later,” she said, leaning back.
“I’m glad. And seriously, this cake is amazing. You should open a bakery.”
She laughed. “Dillon says the same thing.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You baked for him? That’s next-level.”
She chuckled, but there was a hint of hesitation in her voice. “Yeah... he’s amazing.”
“What’s going on? You sound off.”
“It’s just... sometimes I wonder if it’s all gonna crash.”
“I get it, but you deserve happiness. Life’s been tough, but don’t sabotage it if he makes you happy.”
She sighed, looking down at her hands. “I needed to hear that.”
“You know I’m always here for you,” I nudged her playfully. “Let the good stuff happen. You’ve been smiling non-stop. It’s clear you’re happy.”
She rolled her eyes, but her grin betrayed her. “I really am happy.”
“See? He checks all your boxes. You’ve won.”
She laughed, almost choking. “I wouldn’t say I’ve won.”
“You deserve him,” I said, leaning back. “I’m happy for you. Just don’t overthink it.”
She looked at me, her expression softening. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”
“Just let yourself enjoy it,” I smiled.
“Will do.”
After more chatting and laughing, Azzaria stood. “Alright, I should go. Early day tomorrow.”
I walked her to the door. “Thanks again for the cake.”
“Anytime. We’ll catch up soon,” she hugged me before grabbing her purse.
“Before you go...” I paused. “Have you ever googled Dillon?”
Her eyebrows shot up, and she let out a knowing laugh. “I did, and I still get notifications whenever his name pops up. It’s a mix of rumors, half-truths, and tabloid nonsense. Makes you wonder what’s real, especially with all the women who want him.”
I nodded, strangely comforted by her honesty. “How do you separate who someone is from what the internet says?”
She leaned against the doorframe, arms loosely crossed. “I want to ask why you’re asking, but I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” A sigh escaped her lips before she continued, “Anyway, that’s the thing—online, you find everything and nothing at the same time. People like Dillon have layers, and sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever see what’s beneath all the noise. It’s not about trusting what I read—anyone can post anything. It’s about trusting how he makes me feel, how he treats me. That’s the real stuff.”
I let her words settle, then nodded. “Alright. Thanks for answering.”
“Anytime,” she whispered before slipping out the door.
Once I finished cleaning up, I glanced at the clock. Time to leave for my appointment with Dr. Green.
The waiting room was quiet, soft music humming in the background. After checking in, I pulled out my phone and texted Mikkel.
Me: Just got to my appointment..
His reply was instant.
S: Let me know when you’re home.
A few minutes later, Dr. Green appeared in the doorway, her smile warm and familiar. “Good evening! Come on in.”
I followed her inside, sinking into my usual spot on the couch as she settled across from me, notepad in hand.
“So,” she said, meeting my gaze. “How have you been since our last session?”
I took a deep breath and dived into the latest updates: my growing relationship with Mikkel, small victories at work, and the ongoing challenges of settling into my new apartment.
“Sometimes I feel guilty,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “Happy but guilty.”
Dr. Green’s expression remained gentle as she prompted, “Guilty about what?”
“I’ve already... moved on?” The words tumbled out faster than I intended. “It feels weird to be this okay so soon, but it also feels good because of Mikkel.”
She nodded in understanding. “It’s natural to feel conflicted after a breakup, especially if you’re moving on faster than you expected. Tell me more about what you’re feeling. ”
I sighed, trying to make sense of the emotions swirling inside me. “I thought I’d be devastated, but I haven’t shed a tear. And then Mikkel came along, making me feel things I’ve never felt before. It happened so fast. I keep thinking I should be sad longer, that I should be mourning, but a stronger part of me feels like I don’t deserve to put myself through that.”
Dr. Green leaned forward slightly, her gaze warm and reassuring. “Everyone processes breakups differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to heal. The pain you went through before was already part of your ‘mourning period,’ and now that you’re past it, it’s not as heavy as you thought it would be. That doesn’t mean your past relationship didn’t matter—it just means you’re allowing yourself to let go. Even if you overthink things, you’re choosing to move forward with Mikkel and the happiness he brings into your life.”
I thought of him, and I started blushing like an idiot. “He’s generous and attentive. It’s so easy with him, like I’ve known him forever, even though it’s only been a short time. I get butterflies just thinking about him, when I’m with him, even when my phone lights up with his name.”
She jotted something down, then met my gaze. “He’s bringing something positive into your life. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or erasing what you had with Joshua. It just means you’re stepping into a new chapter.”
Some of the anxiousness inside me eased. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”
Dr. Green smiled. “You deserve happiness, Abigail. Joshua made his choice. And for the first time in years, you’re making yours—you’re choosing yourself, choosing joy. That’s not something to feel guilty about.”
I took a deep breath, letting her words sink in. “Thank you. I really needed that reminder.”
She nodded. “Is there anything else on your mind?” She glanced at her notes before looking back at me. “How’s work at Book Culture ? And how are you adjusting to being away from your family?”
“Work’s been great. I’ve already gotten positive feedback from customers and my manager. It’s nice to feel appreciated, like I’m actually making a difference. ”
Her smile warmed. “That’s wonderful. It sounds like you’re finding fulfillment there.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s been a pleasant surprise. As for being away from my family, I miss them, of course, but I feel like it was time for me to step out on my own. Some days, the distance hits harder than others, but I’m managing.”
Her gaze softened. “I’m really proud of the balance you’re finding. And when those tough moments come, how are you coping with them?”
I shrugged lightly. “It’s not overwhelming, nothing that stops me from going about my day. Some days are easier, but I’m adjusting.”
Dr. Green leaned in just slightly. “Change can be overwhelming, but you’ve been handling it well. Give yourself permission to adjust at your own pace.”
“You’re right,” I admitted, inhaling deeply. “I need to be more patient with myself.”
“Exactly,” she said. “You’re juggling a lot—a new city, new job, new home, a new relationship. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions right now.”
I exhaled slowly, the weight on my chest feeling a little lighter. “Thanks, Dr. Green. This really helps.”
She smiled. “That’s what I’m here for. You’re doing great, Abigail. Just keep taking it day by day.”