4 The Crazy Nun
The Crazy Nun
For a year, I’d been sitting on my ass instead of going for a run in the morning. Well, that was over, I decided. It was a Friday, and I was getting back in the driver’s seat. I hurried downstairs, fully motivated, waving at Chris on my way out.
It took me five minutes to regret it.
Right around the time I started wanting to cough up my first lung from the effort.
I’d been good at track and field when I was a kid, when going out for a morning run was something I had to do every morning for school. Now I could barely peel myself off the bed, period.
But I forced myself to keep going. My heart was like a freight train when I stopped to catch my breath, resting my hands on my knees.
Yeah, I needed practice. I tried to imagine the look of disappointment my former coach would give me.
Or Spencer, who was a gym teacher and had helped me train in the old days.
If he knew I was wheezing after half an hour, he’d be shaking his head…
I was hyperventilating by the time I walked back into the dorm. Chris smiled as soon as he saw me.
“How was it?”
“Awful. I should have stayed in bed.”
He laughed as I climbed the steps to my room, where Naya was asleep and snoring. Nothing but a grenade going off would bother her, so I hopped into the shower without a second thought.
When I came out, I saw her stretching lazily and yawning and said, “Good morning.”
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Eleven.”
“So early?”
“Eleven’s early?”
“On a weekend? Hell yes, it’s early.”
As I dried my hair, I asked whether she was supposed to be getting breakfast with Will. She sighed and pulled herself upright.
“Yeah.” Struggling to organize her thoughts, she continued. “I’m just going to shower at his place. Half my clothes are there anyway. You coming?”
“Nobody invited me.”
“So? Come. The more people who are there, the less weird it is to have Sue grunting to herself. Plus, I’m sure Ross will wonder where you are otherwise.”
“You think?”
She arched an eyebrow and stood. “Just put on a T-shirt so we can go.”
We took the light rail out there, and she kept yawning and groaning and adjusting her sunglasses as if she was returning from the party of a lifetime. She was just as groggy when we reached Will’s door.
Sue opened the door for us and asked with her usual good cheer, “Back again?”
“Happy to see you, too,” Naya said as she walked past her.
Sue went back to whatever she was doing and I closed the door behind me. When I reached the kitchen, I saw Will and Naya kissing and Sue scowling at them.
“Morning, Will.” I smiled.
“Oh, hey, you,” he said.
“Where’s Ross?” I asked. It was strange not to see him wandering around there teasing people.
“He’s asleep.”
“Still?”
“I can see you don’t know what it’s like to live with him,” Sue said.
“I’m gonna go wake him up,” Naya announced malevolently and walked off without waiting for anyone’s approval. A few seconds later, I heard her open his door and scream. A pillow flew out, and not long afterward, Ross emerged, rubbing his face, very clearly in a bad mood.
“Who let her off her chain?” he asked, leaning against the kitchen bar.
“I’m not a dog,” Naya protested.
Trying to change the subject, I asked, “Aren’t we having breakfast?”
“Sure,” Ross responded. “Take your pick. We’ve got cold pizza, warm water, and beer. All the nutrients you need to face the day with energy. Oh, and I think there’s ice cream, but it’s Sue’s, so don’t try it unless you’ve got suicidal tendencies.”
“Ross, go get us something,” Will said.
“Why me?”
“Because I always go,” Will replied.
“What about Sue?” Ross objected.
She responded, “I’m having ice cream for breakfast.”
“Whatever.” Ross stood up straight, walked to his room, and changed clothes.
He left, complaining that people were using him.
With nothing to do while Will and Naya made out and Sue stared at the TV, I started to drift off until Naya asked, “Hey, I think your phone was buzzing last night. I meant to tell you, but I didn’t want to wake you up. ”
I usually didn’t pay much attention to my phone, but I reached into my bag just then to check. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that Monty had called twelve times.
“Shit.”
“What?” Naya asked.
“It was my boyfriend. He’s probably mad I didn’t get in touch. Will, do you mind if I go call from your room?”
“Sorry, Jenna. This is the only room that gets decent service.”
This was getting better all the time. Everyone watched me dial and raise the phone to my ear. I was nervous. Monty answered on the first ring.
“Oh, so you’re alive,” he responded bitterly.
I knew that tone. I tried not to get angry, because it would only make things worse. “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t hear my phone.”
“Oh. I didn’t know you lived in a mansion where you can’t hear a cell phone that’s right next to your head.”
“How do you know it was next to my head, Monty? How do you know I didn’t have it on Do Not Disturb?”
“I was worried.”
“Count to ten,” I told him. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
Just then, Ross opened the door holding two bags of food, which he dumped on the bar, saying, “Who’s your daddy?” Naya and Will tore them open while continuing to stare at me.
“I knew you’d do this to me,” Monty said.
“What? Would you mind telling me what I did?” I asked. I didn’t know if I was more pissed off or confused.
Chewing on a piece of toast, Ross watched me as Monty responded, “Blow me off. Just like you said you wouldn’t.”
“I’m not…” I began, trying to sound calm so everyone wouldn’t think I was crazy, though nothing would have made me happier than lightning striking Monty right then. “Can we talk about this later?”
“No. You haven’t even called me in a week.”
“You neither!” I couldn’t stand it anymore. “Why am I always the one who has to do everything?”
“You’re the one who decided to leave!”
“Monty, I’m at college. It’s not like I decided to take a sailboat around the world! Can you relax? Also, you wanted me to go to school!”
“Yeah,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want you to call me for three weeks.”
“You just said it: three weeks. What are you going to do when it’s a month? Two months? Are you going to come kidnap me?”
“Maybe I should. What did you do last night?”
“Nothing!” And that was true. I had stuck with my new routine of watching superhero movies and reading comics. Well, I’d gone to rescue Naya too. And had punched some guy in the face. But that was none of his business.
“Liar.” He kept on about how he was sure I’d heard my phone, how I’d ignored him on purpose, how I didn’t care about him, how I was just making excuses.
Then he hung up on me. I was shocked. I liked the guy, but he could be such a loser…
I wondered why he’d gotten so angry all of a sudden.
I hadn’t done anything wrong. Unless fantasizing about Thor was wrong, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t.
When I looked up, I saw everyone staring at me for a brief moment before they pretended to be focused on eating. At least I wouldn’t have to explain anything, I thought. Ross passed me a bag of food, but I told him, “Thanks, but no thanks. I never eat breakfast.”
“You’re telling me you go hungry till lunchtime?” he asked.
“That’s correct,” I replied, trying to sound nice and not succeeding. I felt bad. It wasn’t Ross’s fault my boyfriend sucked. So I took the bag and said, “I’ll make an exception this time.”
Will changed the subject, asking the group, “What are we doing tonight?”
Neither Naya nor I felt like going out. Monty had taken it out of me.
Will proposed a movie, and Ross said he was in.
Naya shrugged, and the three of them looked at me, making me feel uncomfortable.
Then Ross understood and blurted out, “Please God don’t tell me you’ve never been to the movies?
” He laughed when he realized he was right and said, “It’s honestly like you’ve come from a parallel universe.
Like, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but can you please explain how it’s possible that you’ve literally never been to the movies? ”
“I don’t know, man. My brothers weren’t into it, and it kind of just never came up.
” I felt awkward admitting this. It was almost like I had only ever done what my family did, like I’d never had an opinion of my own.
This was dawning on me more and more, and I didn’t know how I should feel about it.
Thankfully, Naya jumped in with a smile:
“Well, this will be your first time. But we can’t do it till later. I have a ton of work.”
“Me too,” I said.
“I’ve got stuff to do right now myself,” Ross added. “I’m a busy man. I’ll see you all tonight. Someone text me the when and where.”
With those words, he walked out the door.
Later that day, I worked on a group project with some classmates, and I didn’t get back to the dorm until five. Chris was behind the desk. He said hello without looking up from his game.
“What’s going on, Jenna?”
“The usual. I’ve got to say, it kind of freaks me out that you knew it was me without looking up.”
“I spend a lot of time here. I’ve developed a second sense.”
“You’re in a good mood,” I said.
“Yeah, my mom sent me her lives.” As I shook my head, he paused the game and said, “Naya told me you were getting along with her friends. I’m glad. It’s hard to start from zero.”
“They’re nice, yeah.”
“I hope Ross isn’t giving you a hard time. When Lana lived here, it was chaos.”
Lana. Who was Lana? I didn’t remember Ross mentioning any Lana. No, he never had. Was he trying to hide her from me?
“Is that his girlfriend?” I asked, trying to play it cool as Chris picked back up his phone.
“Not anymore, I’m pretty sure,” he replied, not relieving me especially. “They used to go out, but she’s gone now. I think she went to France. Or somewhere. Honestly, I don’t know. She probably went to a better school. She was smart. One of the smartest students here.”
“Interesting,” I replied, tapping my fingers on the counter.