8 The Drug Squad #3
“Well, if I don’t tell you, I guess you’ll just ask Naya, and she can’t keep her mouth closed.
Besides, everyone on campus knows. So this is what happened.
She and Ross were friends, right? For a pretty long time, since high school.
Actually the four of us were always together.
I really think they started going out because they felt pushed aside when Naya and I hooked up.
I never really believed they were in love.
Especially not Ross. But they stuck with it.
There was a problem, though. Lana loves to travel.
She always did. Her parents have money, and there’s nothing they like better than telling their rich friends that their daughter is in Switzerland or whatever.
So she was always vanishing for weeks on end and wouldn’t even call. ”
“Seriously?” I said. I was dying to hear the rest of it, and it felt good to have a new reason to hate her. Something that made her a little less perfect.
“Seriously,” Will replied. “At first, he would try to call her. I don’t think it was because he loved her so much; I think he just felt it was the right thing to do.
He was busy, he was working on short films and taking classes and stuff, but he had a sense of responsibility.
Eventually, though, he got the hint, and it reached a point where they’d go a month without talking.
And weirdly, he didn’t seem to miss her at all.
And that was when Lana started to realize what she was losing out on.
She’s one of those chicks where she wants to be chased and she likes playing hard to get, but when you forget about her, she loses her mind and gets obsessed.
So she comes back, she apologizes; of course Ross accepts her apologies.
That’s just Ross. He’s too good to hold a grudge. ”
“So how did things go south?”
Will shook his head. “Well, they basically had this routine, and things had been that way forever: She’d go away, she’d meet some guy, they’d hook up, then she’d come home a few weeks later and Ross would be there for her.
He never reproached her. He just told her that if she wanted to be with someone else, she should say so, and if she wanted to be with him, then she needed to stop talking to those other guys. ”
I couldn’t believe his attitude had been so relaxed. When I had found out about Nelle and Monty, I’d wanted to die. It was basically the same thing, but I guess I was more sensitive.
“You can only do that so many times, though, right?” Will went on.
“Then the person’s feelings for you start to change.
And I think Ross just didn’t need her anymore.
He’d gotten used to living without her. When he bought this place, he didn’t even tell her.
He ignored her, focused on his studies, and tried to earn a little money on the side.
When Lana found out what he had here, she wanted to come live with us.
But Ross said no. He wouldn’t even let her sleep here. That was the beginning of the end.”
That didn’t sound like whatever Mike had hinted at, but I decided not to overthink it.
“Lana lost her shit,” Will said. “She started acting like a child. She kept calling Ross, texting him, asking him if he was sleeping around… Ross got tired of it. And Ross is a patient man. But he just didn’t feel anything for her anymore.
If he ever did, which I’m also not sure of.
So he told her they could be friends, but that was it.
I remember when she told him she was moving to the sorority house, which is where she’s still living now.
She kept pushing him to get back together, and he finally had to get nasty with her.
So she decided to get her revenge and do something that would hurt him. And I mean hurt him really bad.”
“And that was…?”
“She slept with Mike. It was a low blow. Especially because it had happened before. Ross has only ever had two girlfriends, and he fell for Lana because she was basically a carbon copy of the first one. And that first one actually left him for Mike. He was fucked up over it. Not so much because of the chick but because of his brother. And then it happens again. So I guess you understand now why they don’t get along so great. ”
“But…how could Mike do that to his own brother?” I asked.
“Mike isn’t like Ross. He makes it the point of his life to get under other people’s skin.
And he’s felt inferior to Ross forever. In their family, especially, that was a big issue.
He’s always been treated like the one with no talent.
So for him, it was like an achievement to take Ross’s girlfriend, a way of saying Look, I’m just as good as you .
You must have noticed how flirty Mike is with you when Ross is around. ”
I got it now. I got why Mike made so many stupid comments to me, and I got why Ross always talked down to him.
Maybe Ross and I weren’t a couple, but there was something personal at stake there.
Just seeing me with Ross meant there was a competition there for Mike.
I hated that. I frowned and said, “Poor Ross.”
“I know,” Will replied.
“How can he even still speak to the two of them? How can he let them into his home?”
Will shrugged. “He’s just not that guy. He’s too nice for his own good.”
“Who on earth would leave Ross for Mike? Ross is perfect.”
“I get the sense that he thinks you’re perfect, too.”
I felt the blood rush into my head as Will smiled at me knowingly. I wanted to change the subject, but couldn’t think of how. And finally, Will took mercy on me.
“Shoot straight with me,” he said. “The way you are with Lana… That has to go deep. Why do you hate her so much? Does she remind you of someone?”
“Huh?” I said, coming back to reality, and then as his words sank in, I told him she reminded me of Nelle.
“I know it’s weird, because Nelle’s supposed to be my friend, but it’s complicated.
She’s the same as Lana: perfect, tall, pretty, smart, athletic, good at everything, easily gets the hottest guys.
I’ve always felt inferior next to her. And when I started going out with Monty, she acted all happy for me.
For years, I’d been daydreaming about Monty.
Him going out with me… It just didn’t seem real.
There were months when I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. And then…”
I took a deep breath. It was hard to admit it out loud without crying. Even now I could remember the pressure in my chest, the cold sweat… Focus , I told myself, Focus . “And then I found out she and Monty had been sleeping together behind my back for two months straight.”
Will hesitantly put a hand on my shoulder.
“When I found out,” I told him, “it was a complete slap in the face. I trusted them so much. I’d have put my life on the line for them.
And so I had this panic attack. That probably makes it sound like I’m a head case or whatever, but…
it was a trust thing, you know? It wasn’t just the fact that they had done it.
It was that they’d betrayed me when that was the first time in my life I’d ever felt special.
Try and imagine… I’ve got four siblings, right?
I’m the youngest, and I was always the last in everything.
Monty was the first person who ever chose me because I was me.
And Nelle could have had anyone. Anyone! But she had to be with Monty.”
I paused, and Will told me, “Whatever you say, the thing about being crazy is just bullshit, Jenna. We all react the way we react. That’s how human nature is. And what you went through would have been hard for anybody. Did you forgive them?”
“I felt like if I didn’t, I’d be all alone. She was my only friend and he was the only guy who had ever been interested in me.”
“Jenna, there would have been others. I mean, you’re still a teenager.”
“Yeah, but at the time, it felt like the end of the world… So yeah, I forgave them. And I guess they haven’t really talked since then.
We certainly haven’t all hung out together.
I think Monty saw the consequences of what he’d done.
I don’t think he’d make the same mistake again.
But at the same time, he’s been acting weird.
Since I left, you know. He hardly calls me.
He just sends me a text once in a while.
When we do talk, we fight. As for Nelle, I saw her my last day at home and she was crying and acting all sad.
But she’s ignored me ever since. I don’t want to think it’s happened again…
And now Lana’s here and she reminds me of that whole situation.
And I feel terrible. I know I’ve been taking my frustrations out on Ross and on you and Naya. And I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it.”
Will was a good listener, and he took his time thinking over what I’d said.
Then he responded, “I’ve never had to deal with anyone cheating on me.
And certainty not with my best friend. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Naya and Ross…
I mean, it’s hard to even picture. They’re like brother and sister.
But anyway. If I were you, I’d talk to them.
Apologize, maybe. They’re confused. Neither of them understands what’s going on. ”
“I don’t even know what’s going on myself,” I said.
“Maybe you should go to Lana’s party on Saturday and try to make up with them.”
“You’re right,” I replied.
“I always am.”
I sighed and said, “OK, to hell with it. I’ll go.”