14 A Little Favor
A Little Favor
I could feel all the blood draining from my head. I don’t think a ghost could have frightened me worse.
Monty was tense, with pursed lips and clenched fists. He looked over at Mike, who seemed to have no idea what was going on. “Who’s this?” he asked.
Mike replied with his usual smile, “My name’s Mike. Pleased to meet you, whatever your name is.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“You know perfectly well what I’m doing here,” he replied. Then he turned to Mike and said, “And you—why don’t you fuck off?”
I didn’t want a scene, and I could tell Mike was about to say something smart-assed back to him, so I stopped him and said, “Mike, please go. I’ll see you around, OK? I’m fine, I promise.”
He nodded, but he didn’t seem sure. Monty almost shouted, “Did you hear her, dickhead? She told you to beat it.”
I put a hand on Monty’s arm to try to calm him down and let Mike know we could talk later.
“Sure,” he said. “I’ll see you at Ross’s.”
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Monty tensed up like a live wire and I closed my eyes. As soon as Mike was gone, he shook me by the shoulders. He was furious.
“Ross, huh? That’s the guy, right? The guy you’ve been fucking?”
“Monty, you need to calm down.” People were already starting to stare.
“I need to calm down? Why don’t you tell me what the fuck you meant with that message you sent me?”
I was embarrassed and afraid in equal parts as I looked around. He grabbed my arm, pulled me close, and shoved his phone in my face, so quickly I thought he was going to hit me. My text message from that morning was on his screen.
“What the fuck?” he asked, squeezing my arm so tight it started to hurt. “Who the hell are you to decide to dump me, you whore?”
“Let me go,” I said.
“Let you go? What I ought to do is…”
“Are you OK?”
We both turned and saw two girls who had approached, looking worried. One was looking straight at me and the other had her phone out and aimed at Monty, ready to record whatever he did.
“Listen,” one of the girls continued. “We can call the cops right now if he’s bothering you.”
“I’m fine,” I said.
Monty told the girls rudely to mind their business and dragged me across campus to the parking lot as I struggled to break his grip. Only once his car was in sight did he let me go. I walked back a couple of steps.
“Monty, I don’t know what you think you’re doing here, but I’m not getting in that car with you. You need to go back and read that message you shoved in my face, because I made myself perfectly clear. We’re done.”
“Screw your message. You’re not done with me. I’m your boyfriend, goddammit! You can’t just break up with me!”
“Monty, you need to calm down.” There was a threat in his eyes.
“Calm down! You selfish bitch. Who are you to tell me to calm down after what you’ve done? I had a million things to do today, but instead I had to drive seven fucking hours just to get you to recognize that I exist.”
Was he right? Should I have answered his calls? He was in pain—that much I couldn’t deny. I reached out cautiously and touched his shoulder, and when I did, he clutched the back of my neck and pulled me close, trying to kiss me. Impulsively, I jerked away. That only reignited his fury.
“Are you serious?” he screamed.
“Monty, we’re broken up. So I don’t want you to kiss me. Do you not understand?”
“Oh, yeah, I understand perfectly. I understand that I love you and instead of loving me back, you come up here and the first thing you do is spread your legs for some jerk-off named Ross. And the very day I come visit, you’re supposed to be going to his apartment.
What were you going to do over there, Jenna? ”
Fuck. He didn’t know I was living there. I needed to make an excuse, fast.
“They’re having me over for dinner. What’s wrong with that?” I asked.
“Sure, with your tits hanging out of that V-neck. Bullshit. Give me your phone. I don’t need to listen to you lying to me. I’ll judge for myself.”
“I’m not giving you my phone.”
“Give it to me right now, Jenna!”
When he pushed me and started pawing me all over, I didn’t even try to resist. There was no point.
He was too strong, and it would only make things worse.
He pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled compulsively, breathing hard through his nose.
I realized then he wouldn’t find Ross’s name because I’d saved him under Errand Boy .
I had never imagined I’d be so happy about it.
“Are you happy now?” I said.
“Fuck no, I’m not happy. I know something’s going on. I just don’t know exactly what. I’m going to figure it out, though. Now get in the car.”
“No. Monty, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Get in the goddamn car or I’ll pick you up and put you in it. Jenna…”
“No.”
He grabbed my biceps hard, opened his car door, and shoved me into the passenger seat.
I tried to climb out and he grabbed me around the neck and pushed me back inside before shutting the door so hard I could see the side mirror shaking in its frame.
He got in on his side and said, “Don’t you dare try to get out.
” I bowed my head, humiliated, as he sped off toward my old dorm.
I was trying frantically to think of an excuse when I saw Chris at the door.
Monty parked and said, “Get out and go get your shit.”
“What?”
“You heard me. We’re going home. Do it now. It’s not a suggestion.”
“This is my home now. You’re the one who needs to go back home.”
I stared straight ahead and he cut the motor.
“Monty,” I said as calmly as I could, “I’m going to repeat this very slowly so you understand.
I don’t want to be with you. This thing that’s happening right now is a perfect example of why I don’t want to be with you.
You act crazy. And I can’t deal with that.
I’m at school, I have a life now, I have other things I need to think about. ”
“Yeah, like Jack fucking Ross.”
“First of all, Monty, Jack Ross isn’t my boyfriend either. And second, you told me you wanted us to be in an open relationship. If you can’t deal with that, it’s on you.”
“Fine, I take it back. I’ll be faithful to you. I want to. I want us to go back to how we were. We’ll pretend this Jack Ross thing never happened. It’ll be just the two of us. You’d like that, right? What do you say?”
Was he about to cry? It was so strange how he could move so easily between rage and sorrow. A little voice inside my head told me he was trying to manipulate me, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to react to that.
He continued, “We were good together. You know we were. We might have had a fight or two, but we’ve always gotten through it, right?
And I love you, Jenna. You know I do. You can’t blame me for reacting like this.
You’d do the same. Remember how upset you were when you found out about me and Nelle? It’s the same thing, right?”
“I can’t, Monty. I like it here. I have friends here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I thought I mattered to you. You don’t even love me, do you? I tell you I love you every time we talk, in every message. And you never say it back. It’s three simple words. They’re easy to say. But you can’t even bring yourself to do it.”
“Monty, I can’t. I can’t just say something I don’t feel.”
“Just say it, Jenna!”
“No! Those words mean something to me. I’ve never said them to anyone except my family, and I’m not going to until I absolutely know the feeling’s true. I’m sorry you’re hurting, and I’m sorry you’re angry, but you can’t force me to stand here and lie to you.”
“Listen,” Monty said. “I get it. I surprised you, just coming here like this. And we’re not going to solve this problem in the car. Why don’t we go up to your room where we can talk it over in peace.”
“I’d rather not,” I said.
“I’d rather we did.”
Now I was scared. But I couldn’t think of a way out of it.
Being with him had made me so tense I couldn’t think straight anymore.
I got out and we walked into the building.
I entered quickly so he wouldn’t try to hold my hand.
When Chris looked up from his desk, I said, “Hey, this is my ex-boyfriend. He wants to see my room.”
I hoped Monty didn’t notice the confusion on Chris’s face as he looked at me for a second in silence. With my eyes, I tried to tell him, Please just go along with it , and I guess my psychic abilities were working that day, because he smiled awkwardly and replied, “It’s your room. Go for it.”
I said, “Chris, I can’t find my key. Can I use your copy?” He handed it to me.
Able to breathe slightly better, I guided Monty up the stairs.
It was strange even being there now. Especially when I opened the door and saw Naya was gone.
I guess she was at the apartment with everyone else.
My apartment. Ross’s apartment. Monty walked in and looked around.
He saw a photo of me on Naya’s nightstand. “Aw,” he said, “how cute.”
“Can we go now?” I asked, hoping I could get him out of there before he started asking questions. But he just stood there, slowly examining every detail.
Then the questions began. Where’s your laptop?
Where’s your contact case? Where are all your shoes?
I tried to make excuses: I let Naya use it.
I left them in the library. He opened my old closet to look through it.
I yelled, “Hey, that’s private!” But he didn’t care.
My heart almost froze when he found it empty.
“Let me guess,” he said. “You loaned out all your clothes, too. Do you think I’m a moron, Jenna? It’s obvious you don’t even fucking live here. I can’t believe this! You sleeping with another guy is one thing! Are you fucking living with him, too!”
“Monty! Just stop!” I shouted.
But he was out of control now. He started kicking things, overturned one of the mattresses, grabbed one of Naya’s dresses and tore it in half.
“Stop it!” I shouted again. “You have no right…”