17 Meatball Bomber #2
I thought he was going to say something more, but the twins started yelling and cursing, and he turned and left to see what was going on with the game.
When I finished, I went upstairs to my bed— my bed, not Ross’s, strange as that seemed, and closed my eyes.
It felt so big, like I was drowning in it without him next to me.
Stop thinking about school , I told myself.
Stop thinking about Ross . But then Naya sent me a message telling me everyone wanted to know how I was.
It was like witchcraft. I sent her a photo of my pajamas with little sheep on them and she responded with a laughing emoji.
I’d only just left, and already I missed them. I rested my phone on my belly and covered my face with my hands. I wanted to call Ross. Badly. Twice, I even picked up the phone, looked for his number, put it back down. What was I doing? I didn’t know. But finally I did dial.
He picked up on the first ring, and I was so nervous I started toying with the edge of my pajamas. Why was I so nervous to talk to a guy I saw literally every day?
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” he asked.
“Hello to you, too,” I said. “My flight was fine, everything’s good, thanks for asking.”
“It’s after midnight.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Jen, you got up at six in the morning.”
“I’m energetic. You know that. And you certainly don’t complain when I want to stay up till 4:00 a.m. with you.”
He paused, and I wondered if I was being a little too smart with him. Then he chuckled and said, “It’s too bad you’re not with me, then.”
Was it just me, or did his voice sound sexier over the phone?
“How’s your family?” he asked.
“My mom is whiny, my dad’s a complainer, my brothers are trying to pretend they’re too cool to give me a hug. Everyone makes fun of me. In other words, order has been restored. What are you up to?” As I asked, I couldn’t help but look over with longing at the empty side of the bed.
“I’m just in my room watching a movie.”
“Without me?”
“Look, I admit it’s better with you, but I’ve got to do something to pass the time while you’re gone.”
Smiling, I said, “I still feel betrayed.”
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“How is everyone?” I tried to sound normal, however much that last comment of his had turned me on.
“Jen, you’ve been gone for ten hours. Everyone’s exactly the same.
Naya’s frantic and pacing back and forth, Will’s trying to keep a cool head while he’s dealing with her, Sue’s sitting there like a potato, and then there’s me, just trying to survive for the next forty-eight hours.
What about you? Have you seen any of your friends? ”
“No. You know, I wish you could see what I was looking at right now. I have a huge collection of music in front of me.”
“I thought you didn’t listen to music!” he said.
“Well, it’s not exactly mine. It was a gift from my aunt. I’ve never even heard of most of the groups. I’ll snap some photos, and you can tell me if you want me to bring you back anything.”
“Maybe you should surprise me. Usually, when a guy’s girlfriend comes back from out of town, she brings a surprise for him.”
“Hush!” I said.
“Wow, that was cold.”
We talked awhile longer about his favorite bands.
I say awhile, but it was two in the morning when I looked at the clock.
I couldn’t believe how quickly time passed when I spoke with him.
And I still didn’t want to hang up! And we were going to see each other in two days. Seriously, what was going on with me?
I clenched my teeth and said, “Sorry, Ross, I’ve got to go to sleep. I’m supposed to help my dad cook tomorrow. And somehow I need to keep a smile on my face while my family tries to drive me insane.”
“Sure, Jen. Get some rest. Good luck. And sleep well.”
“Good night,” I told him and hung up, holding the phone tight to my chest for a moment, and feeling there had been something I still needed to say. But I didn’t know what it was. I looked at the screen a minute, biting my lip, thinking of sending him a message.
But no. I needed to calm down. It was just two days.
I laid my phone on the nightstand and turned over, closing my eyes to try to sleep.
I spent the whole next morning in the kitchen with my dad, and as soon as we were done, our guests started arriving: my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and Shannon with Owen, who jumped into my arms and shouted, “Aunt Jenna!” Plus Spencer’s stuck-up girlfriend, whom no one could stand, and my little cousin, who spent the whole time staring at her phone as if the rest of us didn’t exist.
It was fun. For me and for my mother, too. And that was what mattered, since it was her birthday. I took advantage of it to eat all the things I’d been avoiding because of Naya and her diet. I could almost feel her calling me a traitor from a distance.
My father waved me into the kitchen, and we lit the candles on the chocolate cake and sang “Happy Birthday” as we set it down in front of my mother and my grandmother snapped photos. Only one of them came out good, because she had her finger in front of the lens in all the rest of them.
I should say, the woman I call my grandmother is actually her sister, my great-aunt.
My grandmother died before I was born, and so did her husband, but my great-aunt always treated me and my siblings—especially me—like her grandchildren.
She hadn’t had an easy life. She’d worked her knuckles to the bone since she was little.
And yet it hadn’t made her bitter. She had a hard exterior—she’d had to, to make it through life—but inside she was one of the sweetest women I’d ever met.
As she was cutting the cake, my brothers started cracking jokes about me, and she lifted the knife and warned them, “Be careful, I’ve got pretty good aim.
” She was saucy like that and had been the only one who always defended me against them.
When they piped down, she laid the biggest slice of cake on my plate.
That afternoon, Shannon came up with the ridiculous idea of us going to the mall with Spencer.
I don’t know if it was supposed to be a bonding thing or what.
Obviously, we left the twins out of it. They never did anything separately, and if they came along, they’d just made fun of me the whole time.
Spencer bought me a shake, which I slurped while he carried on about his gym class.
Sometimes, when he and Shannon were together, I felt like I was ten years old again.
With them, it was always their jobs, the people they were going out with, adult stuff.
And since they couldn’t help seeing me as their kid sister, they never opened up to me about those things.
Spencer walked off to say hi to some friends, and Shannon used the opportunity to grab my shake and throw it in the trash.
“Hey!” I shouted.
“You shouldn’t be drinking that trash. Now come here.” She pulled me into a lingerie shop where she pretended to browse, but what she really wanted was for me to tell her about Ross.
“I’ve been waiting all day,” she said. “Now spit it out.”
Looking at a bra and playing innocent, I said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re going out with some hot guy who’s your age and who treats you well and has money…”
“Shannon, his money doesn’t matter.”
“And, he likes you!”
“Try not to sound so surprised.”
“I’m not surprised, Jenna. It’s just that it’s a relief after Monty. Or let’s say a pleasant surprise. So when do I get to meet him?”
“We’re not actually going out,” I said.
I meant that when I said it. Because the night before I left, something had been up with Ross—I was sure of it. And it definitely had to do with whether or not we were actually a couple.
“For now, you’re not,” she responded. “I think Spencer sees us. Here, give me that.” She grabbed the slinky bra-and-panties combo I’d been looking at without much interest. “It’s your size, I think. Go try it on. If you like it, I’ll get it for you. I’m sure it’ll turn your new boyfriend on.”
“Shannon, I’ve never worn anything like this in my life!”
A half hour later, I was walking out of the shop with a bag in my hand with a set of pale pink underclothes inside. They were the second thing I’d tried on. Shannon liked them better than the first. I did, too, though I’d never admit it.
Spencer was waiting for us by the fountain, looking at his phone.
He put his arm around me as we walked toward the car.
Mom was already bugging us all, telling us we should be at home spending time with her.
Everything was nice until Spencer said suddenly, surprised, “Hey, Jenna, isn’t that your ex? ”
Oh no.
I looked over at a coffee shop where I used to hang out with friends when I still lived there. And I saw him. Monty. Sitting with…Nelle.
I can’t say I was surprised, but at the same time, everything seemed to freeze for a moment.
They looked relaxed as they talked, but I could tell something was up.
I knew Nelle. I knew her well, and I knew how she dressed when she had her eye on someone.
I knew her expressions, the way she talked.
And I could tell they weren’t just friends. It felt like a slap in the face.
“I can’t believe it,” Shannon said, shaking her head.
Maybe I wasn’t with Monty anymore, but did he have to go out with Nelle?
Did she have to go out with him? Was this why she hadn’t responded to me all those months?
How long had they been together? Had she betrayed me again?
Had Nelle been who Monty was referring to when he dropped me off at school and brought up the whole idea of the open relationship?
I’d trusted her. I could feel my eyes starting to sting. The idiots. But I mean, I was an idiot, too.
“I’m going to kill them,” Shannon said. Spencer put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Easy, Tiger,” then asked me, “Jenna, are you OK?”
I shook my head. No, I wasn’t OK. I felt so stupid. So betrayed. So naive.