26 Christmas Dinner #3
“I don’t know,” I said. It had been so long since I’d said that, and I’d almost forgotten about it.
“You know you don’t have to. You can stay in the apartment.
Consider it yours. I mean, I’d love that, honestly.
I love you, Jen. I love spending time with you.
So much that it’s kind of starting to worry me, but I’ll deal with it, you know.
So what do you say? Should we drop the pretense that this is just until your parents get on their feet and admit we officially live together? ”
So he’d done it.
He’d dropped the bomb on me.
And he was cool as a cucumber.
Unlike me.
I was tense, and I knew he was waiting for me to say something.
“With a room of my own, you mean?”
“I’m sorry, do you have any complaints about sleeping with me?” he asked.
“I’m not sure if I should be sleeping with my landlord.”
“Your landlord is sure you should be,” he said.
“Yeah, my landlord is a perv, though,” I replied.
As I smiled nervously, trying to be serious, he interrupted my thoughts. “You don’t have to say anything right now. You’ve got the whole Christmas break to think it over. No rush.”
But I knew what I wanted to say. What I would say.
We kissed, and when the ride let us off, we joined my family again.
Everything was fine until we got home. Spencer was a little drunk—he had run into some friends at the fair and had downed a few beers with them—and he was chatty, while the twins hurried off up the stairs.
I was trying to guide Jack to my bedroom when Spencer stopped us, hugging us both, and said, “Kids, I want y’all to behave tonight. ”
“Spencer!” I said.
“Jenna, it’s fine. It’s natural. Just be quiet, OK? Some of us have to get up in the morning.”
“You don’t,” I told him.
“Just listen to me,” he said. “Don’t scream and moan. And use protection. I’ve got all the nephews I want for now.”
Jack was amused. I felt like I was dying inside, and as Spencer slunk off, I told him, “We’re going to pretend that never happened, all right?”
In my room, I put on the pajamas with the little sheep on them that Jack had laughed at so many times and took out my contact lenses.
I couldn’t believe how small my bed looked.
We were going to have to sleep on top of each other, almost. Not that I saw that as a problem.
We lay down, and I got close to him, intertwining my legs with his.
“I can’t believe Mom and Dad will be here tomorrow,” he murmured.
“And your brother,” I reminded him.
“And my grandmother. It’s going to be interesting.”
Toying with his collar, I told him, “You know, I’ve never had a guy up here before.”
“I feel honored.”
“I’ve never introduced a guy to my family, either.”
“Not even Monty?”
“Not formally,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course, they know him. Everyone here knows him, everyone here knows everyone. But I only ever brought him over when I had the house to myself. And I never let him off the couch. Romantic, I know.”
“So I’m the first guy to be in your bed,” Jack murmured with satisfaction. “I hope I’m the last, too.”
“You wish,” I said, and he turned over and kissed me.
Do I need to say I was nervous? At this point, that’s the story of my life.
But family introductions—that was a whole new level of potential catastrophe.
Before they arrived, I sat up in my room breathing and trying to visualize everything going well.
When we finally went down, Jack’s family was already there.
Talking. Apparently relaxed. I could hear them in the kitchen with Mom, Dad, and Shannon.
Mike and Owen were in the living room playing video games.
“Auntie!” Owen shouted when he saw me, dropping the controller and running over for a hug.
“How are you, buddy?” I asked, and he burbled that he was great, and he was so happy I was home, and he was beating the tar out of Mike, and so on and so forth, until he saw Jack, and then he turned wary, asking, “Who are you?”
“I’m Jack. Nice to meet you, Owen.”
Like a little tough guy, Owen warned him, “Just be careful. She’s mine.”
“Owen!” I shouted. Jack told me to let it go, but I wanted to know where he’d learned to treat strangers like that.
It was funny, but he needed to mind his manners, and I tried to tell him so as Jack butted in, “Yeah, I’ve heard of you.
Jenna told me how strong you are. Trust me, I don’t want to get in your way.
I’m just here to take care of your aunt when you’re not around. ”
“Fine,” Owen said, crossing his arms. Jack asked him if they could be friends, and after a moment’s consideration, Owen said, “Friends,” and they gave each other a fist bump.
Mary and Agnes looked overjoyed to see us, while Mr. Ross was his usual cool self.
But there was less tension than last time.
That was something, at least. I don’t think my mother even noticed the friction, and that was strange, because she usually picked up on those things.
So things were as good as we could have hoped.
We had lunch together, and the entertainment consisted mainly of my brothers and Dad making fun of me, which everyone else enjoyed it.
I got upset and ran out in the backyard, and Jack had to come get me like a little girl and convince me to come back inside.
In the afternoon, the parents left, and we had a snowball fight in the backyard.
I wound up soaked and Spencer and Jack won, of course.
What did I expect, having to team up with Mike?
Sonny and Steve were renegades who joined us briefly only to turn on us at the last minute.
After that, I needed a shower and some relaxation, and we each did our own thing until dinnertime, when Jack decided to stay in the living room with the guys while I sat at the kitchen table with both groups of parents.
They were talking about some series they had seen.
I’d never heard of it, and I didn’t really care.
I stood and walked outside at some point and found Owen and Mike making a snowman.
It was strange: I wouldn’t have figured Mike would be so good with kids.
They were far enough off that they didn’t notice me sitting on the porch and watching them.
A few minutes later, Mr. Ross came outside and sat next to me.
It was strange, especially that he would sit on our not-exactly-immaculate porch in his expensive designer trousers.
He looked out and said, “Those two are like peas in a pod.” Mike was gathering the snow into a bigger and bigger ball while Owen ordered him around.
“Yeah, everyone seems to be getting along great,” I said, smiling.
“Yes, it really does seem wonderful,” he replied, putting a hand on my shoulder. “And it really is all thanks to you, Jenna. If you hadn’t helped with my son, this never could have happened.”
I smiled shyly. He actually seemed sincere.
“All I did is come talk to you,” I told him.
“It’s not just that. It’s everything. You don’t know what Jack was like a few months ago. How he’s changed. I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you.”
I nodded as he continued. “There was a time in my life when I thought he was truly lost. Jack is hardheaded, you know. He won’t stop doing something once he’s set his mind to it, even if it’s blowing up in his face.
And his girlfriends…my lord. Suffice it to say I wasn’t crazy about them.
Not that I really knew them, and I realize that means I shouldn’t judge them, but you can tell when someone is good for your child and when they’re not.
You’ll understand what I mean if you ever decide to have kids.
You two, though—I can tell this isn’t just some adolescent crush. ”
He was so serious that I hesitated a moment before saying, “No, it’s not.”
“It’s more than that, Jenna. I can tell. I wish you knew how happy I am for the two of you. You’re everything my son didn’t know he was looking for.”
I grinned awkwardly, but I couldn’t really think of what to say. I hadn’t expected this conversation, and I wasn’t ready for it. I hugged my knees, watching Mike and Owen, who seemed to be having a ball.
“I should inform you, Jenna, that Jack is planning on sending a letter to the program in France letting them know he won’t be attending,” Mr. Ross said.
“It’s funny, isn’t it, how a person’s priorities can change.
There was a time when he would have done anything to go there. And now… Well, you know.”
“It makes me a little sad,” I said. “He wants to be a director. If he went there, maybe it would help him be a success.”
“There are other programs. This one is special, but it’s not the only one.”
I looked over after thinking a moment and asked him, “Do you think he’ll have another opportunity in the future?”
“I doubt it. In his application essay, he wrote that going there was his life’s dream.
If he doesn’t go now, I doubt they’ll appreciate that kind of inconsistency.
But as I said, there are other programs. It doesn’t matter.
He has serious feelings for you, Jenna. You’re the truest thing he’s ever had.
That’s why he’s not leaving. And you can’t blame him for it.
It’s normal, and he’s of an age where he can make these kinds of choices. ”
None of what he was saying comforted me, nor did it put me at ease when he reached up and squeezed my shoulder. After a moment’s thought, I asked him, “Do you think…if it were you… I mean, is Jack making a bad decision rejecting this offer? Be honest, please.”
He waited a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know,” he responded. “Sometimes we have to sacrifice things for love. Because we love the other person more than ourselves. Because we want the best for them. And once you find yourself in that situation, it’s hard to turn back.”
I nodded, a knot in my throat.
“He should have said yes,” I told him. “Even if it meant having a long-distance relationship for however long. It would have been OK. We’d have gotten through it.”
“I agree with you,” Mr. Ross said. “But Jack doesn’t.”
“He needs to. And he needs to go.”
“He won’t, Jenna. He’ll never go as long as you two are together.”
He stood, and I watched him walk away, then turned back to Mike and Owen, who were still playing innocently in the snow.