Chapter 20
I avoid the elevator and go straight for the stairwell.
With a strangled gasp, I fling it open, and I race down the stairs.
The alcohol rises up my esophagus as I round a landing and keep heading down.
My whole life I’ve been submissive and scared.
Why couldn’t I have been someone different just now?
Why couldn’t I have immediately stood up for myself?
I inhale a sharp breath and give my wrists a shake to get the feeling of his skin off of mine.
My pace picks up as I round another floor, and Brynn’s words come back to me, Grayson no longer has any power over you.
Ha! What a joke. He will always have power over me.
Always. He’s not even here and yet he still has control.
A bead of sweat trails down the side of my neck as I pick up my pace even more. Pressure pushes in, and the stairwell tilts. I grab onto the railing and try to inhale, but I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe! I yank my hoodie off and tug at the collar of my T-shirt. Breathe!
Finally, I manage to catch a shallow breath. I push off and keep going down. I need air. Now. By the time I reach the ground floor, sweat has soaked me totally through, but I shove through the exit door, straight into the chilled air, and start walking.
I round the block, step right through a group of people, and keep going.
You bring this on yourself.
Grayson’s words echo through my head, and my breath hitches. Go away! I stumble down an alley, backing up against a brick wall, and gasp for a breath that seems permanently clogged. I should have never gone to that party.
Leaning down, I brace my hands on my knees and fight the bile bittering my mouth. A chill races across me, and I slip my hoodie back on. Then I just stand, breathing.
In my back pocket, my cell vibrates, but I don’t check it. It’s either Anne or West, and I can’t face them right now. I just can’t.