17. Seventeen
Seventeen
Jake
“ C an I join you?” I ask cautiously as I approach my little brother on the porch swing.
His short legs are dangling in the air while he stares off into the darkness, looking so forlorn it makes my heart ache.
Jude’s always been an easygoing kid. Quick to smile and full of mischief.
He reminds me of myself before Mom was taken from us and Dad turned into a bitter asshole.
I know he’s not dealing well with our mom’s passing.
Anna was inconsolable for a time but bounced back surprisingly quickly.
She’s still so young, and because of that, it was fairly easy to convince her that even though Mom isn’t coming back, she’s having a great old time being the prettiest angel in heaven.
Jude, on the other hand, is at an age that makes spinning tales and making him believe in them more difficult.
I can’t fault him for the way he’s acting.
I’ve gone through quite an angry stretch myself following the accident.
Who am I kidding? I still haven’t come out the other side.
Losing Mom left us all reeling. You don’t just get over something like that in a matter of months.
But even though I can sympathize, I have to make him understand that being disrespectful and lashing out at people who’ve taken us under their wing is unacceptable.
Jude jerks his chin at the empty spot beside him as if to say this is a free country, and I don’t care where you sit your ass down . I drop onto the sun-faded cushions and take a moment to find the right words.
“You know, you were incredibly rude in there.”
“I don’t need her to tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat. She already has a son to fuss over, and she’s not my mother.”
“She’s not trying to be. She was simply making sure you had everything you needed. Carter’s parents went to a lot of trouble to ensure we’re getting a nice Thanksgiving dinner because we all know there’s no turkey waiting for us at home.”
Jude glances at me then, and seeing the raw anguish in his eyes breaks my heart. The way his lower lip wobbles as he tries to hold on to his pride is difficult to witness. But even though I feel for him, I can’t let this slide.
“I know you’re struggling. We all are, and I don’t expect you to get over it anytime soon.
It’s okay to have your moments. God knows I do.
But when good people open their homes to you, you don’t treat them the way you did just now.
You don’t throw their kindness in their faces and behave like an ungrateful brat.
I know it hurts not having Mom here with us today.
And I know you wish Dad would make more effort to carry on her traditions.
But he’s not strong enough right now. Mr. and Mrs. Evans just want to support us until he gets back on his feet, and they’ve gone out of their way to make us feel welcome. ”
Jude sniffs back unwanted tears, wiping at his nose with the back of his sleeve and leaving a trail of snot behind. Then he truly looks at me for what feels like the first time tonight and gives me a faint nod.
“I love you, little man. You know that, right?”
“I know,” he whispers, going back to staring at his feet while attempting to pull himself together. “I guess I should go back in there and apologize, huh?”
Reaching out, I give his bony shoulder an encouraging squeeze .
“I think that’d be the right thing to do, and I know Mom raised you well enough to know what’s right.”
“I miss her so much,” he chokes out, his voice cracking with emotion.
I wrap my arm around him and pull him into my side, swallowing past the painful lump in my throat and making sure my voice doesn’t shake before saying, “I know, buddy. I miss her too.” Suddenly, the front door cracks open, and Mr. Evans sticks his head out.
“Everything okay out here?” he asks, his kind eyes swimming with concern. Jude rises to his feet and squares his shoulders before meeting his gaze head-on. Pride swells in my chest as I watch him own up to his mistakes.
“I’m sorry about the way I behaved, Mr. Evans.
I know I was rude, but I really hope you and Mrs. Evans will still let me have dessert.
” My best friend’s father barks out a booming laugh and pats Jude on the back, letting him know everything is forgiven before ushering him back inside.
I go to follow, but the older man stops me with a hand to the chest.
“Can I have a quick word?”
“Sure,” I say, apprehension rising as I wait for him to tell me what’s on his mind.
“I wanted to take this opportunity to check in with you and ask how things are going at home?”
I feel the tips of my ears heat, and my first instinct is to go on the offensive. Then I remember telling my brother we don’t lash out at people who’re just trying to look out for us and force myself to settle down.
“Why do you ask? Did Carter mention anything?”
“He didn’t have to. This is a small town, son.
People talk. Your family has suffered a tremendous loss.
That’s not something you easily move past. I just want to make sure you kids are doing alright, and I want you to know that Mrs. Evans and I are always here for you if you need anything.
Whether you’re in trouble or you simply need someone to talk to.
You’re always welcome here, and you guys will always have a safe place to stay if you need it. We’re only one phone call away.”
“I appreciate that. More than you know, but we’re not orphans. We still have our dad.”
Mr. Evans gives me a look that suggests we both know my father is of little use to us right now. I force myself to hold his probing gaze for as long as possible before I blow out a resigned sigh.
“Thank you. It truly means a lot, and I promise I’ll call if I ever feel like I can’t handle things on my own.”
“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He grins, giving me a tap on the back. “You’re like a second son to us, Jake. There’s not much we wouldn’t do for you and your siblings. I hope you know that.”
“I do. I appreciate everything you guys have done for us. It hasn’t gone unnoticed, but I promise I have things under control,” I add when his doubtful expression doesn’t change.
“Alright.” He claps his hands together when he realizes he’s pushed me as far as I’d let him. “Let’s go back inside and do some damage to those desserts, shall we? Carol made your favorite. Chocolate peanut butter fudge.”
“Shit yeah,” I blurt before I can catch myself. “I mean, uh, awesome sauce.”
“Awesome sauce,” the older man parrots, chuckling as he ruffles my hair and shoves me toward the front door.
The simple fatherly gesture makes me feel envious of my best friend.
Carter has no idea how damn lucky he is to have such an amazing dad.
Someone who’s not afraid to shower him with affection.
A steadfast role model he can depend on.
I haven’t seen my father in three days. He could be lying in a ditch somewhere, sleeping off his latest bender, and maybe that’s a blessing in disguise.
Because these days, the less I see of my old man, the better.